If you cruise sites like craig’s list sf from time to time you will invariably see ads like this:
just a no strings attached sex buddy for repeat encounters - w4m - 21
Great stuff. I wonder if it is real but my hats off to the dude that connects with this girl and gets what she is supposedly promising to deliver. Living the dream I say. But hey - this is Thailand right - there must be a similar scene? Some people say it is on the online dating sites but frankly I can’t be bothered to pay the memberships fees knowing I can pay 500 baht to get into places like the Tunnel, get 2 free drinks and actually meet the girls in person. As I have always said if one does not look past the normal p4p scene one cannot find the other hidden gems in Thailand but look I do and sometimes we just luck out.
Before we jump into studying the freebird scene some more I thought I would share an article with you from SF Gate.com in San Francisco, Ca - my old home.
This is a great article hitting on my thoughts about the current excesses people seek in life, the so called “American Dream” (the blowup in the subprime mortgage market) and the fear that is in many of us that keeps us from striking out on our own or trying something different. I always have to fight the stereotype of expats in Thailand who are accused of coming here for nothing more than to partake in the P4P scene. Granted some people are only here for that but some of us like the place for everything it offers - not just the P4P action. I am here because I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I wanted to get really good at a foreign language, I wanted to enjoy my 30’s and I wanted to live life in a place very different from my home country. Thailand does it for me on most levels even though there are frustrating things about the place, no where is perfect, but I feel like I can accomplish some goals here while enjoying life. Throw in the women, the party scene and the food - the bonus points just keep piling up. I had tried before to discuss my theory in this post but not sure it worked.
I love this quote - it is so true. They, the man, feeds on our fears.
The powers that be absolutely rely on our lethargy, our rampant doubts, the attitude that says that it’s just too difficult or too impracticable to break away. After all, to quit a bland but stable job, to follow your own path implies breaking the rules and asking hard questions and dissing the status quo. And they absolutely cannot have that.
I used to have a regional sales manager who made a ton of money and lived quite the life. I did not really care for him on a personal level but his sales acumen and his ability to manage sales people was amazing. What he did is continually shared the good life with his sales people. The parties, the dinners, and the cool pads. Then he would help you acquire a taste for the good life. The watches, the cars, the girls, the suits and the pads. Then he would pull strings to help you get stuff at a discount or talk you in to buying above your means. Why? An in-debt sales guy was a hungry sales guy. A sales guy who always made quota for fear of falling out of the good life. I never subscribed to it but I know it worked.
Anyway. A great article and really hits home with me but let’s get back to the freebird scenario.
We first broke the story on this phenomenon very early in the life of the blog:
Western Union - your invisible wingman…
pmmp went further by combining his love of music with ideas from the original post and his own experiences to come up with a better name - The Freebird.
Before we go any further I just want to say to all of you guys overseas that if you are sponsoring or taking care of a girl in Thailand, you should at least see her every other month or hire a private eye. If you can’t then you are fighting the laws of nature. Thai girls want sex. It really is that simple.
I don’t believe freebirds are only bargirls either. I think you will find normal Thai girls who have met someone, fallen in love and want to have a real relationship. For one reason or another the dude cannot live in Thailand and only comes to visit every 3-4 months. My guess is that these guys are still getting some in their home country from either their wives, their girlfriends, random hook-ups or in the P4P scene. I don’t buy that they are waiting like good boys for 3 months until they return to Thailand. For some reason though they seem to think that their girl living in Bangkok will wait for 3-4 months. Take a 25-30 year old Thai girl and show me one that is not horny. Sure - maybe they don’t go out all the time, maybe they are still going to school or working but I bet you anything they get lonely, they get bored and they would like some affection.
Women seeking Men personals:
28 year old Thai girl living in Bangkok
My rich boyfriend lives overseas and only comes to Bangkok 4 times a year
I can’t go party much but I cook, love to entertain and I am really horny
If you are discreet, don’t call me all the time and can make me come then please call or email.
Sounds crazy but I think it is more real than people admit. I already made my case for why I like after-hours and based on my hook-up the other night I am even a bigger believer in it than before. There really are nice girls, not bargirls, who go out from time to time hoping to meet guys who can discreetly give them a good time without interfering in their sponsored lifestyle. Hell - I think I may have to take out my own personal ad offering my services. How many of these girls are out there? Must be 1000’s given the amount of guys who come to Thailand that have girlfriends but who don’t live here full time.
Maybe I am just lucky but I think if you do the math these girls are out there and need help. Sure sometimes they are looking for a new sponsor or looking for a boyfriend but you can determine that overtime and take appropriate action. I pull the I don’t have any money and I would make a crappy boyfriend routine hoping they don’t see anything substantial in me but many times they really don’t ask anyway. They just want to have some fun, laugh and get laid without any strings attached knowing that anything more than that might create a problem.
Well - I am going to go get my cape and stand in front of a fan for a while basking in my glory…
Or maybe I will wake up and have to hit Lolitas…
My experience has been that Thai women simply have more desire for sex than American women, so leaving them alone for more than a few weeks is definitely not a good idea if you are expecting monogamy.
I know three Thai women (non-bargirls) that have recently married and moved to the USA. To this day, all three of them still send me e-mails flirting and begging me to fly to their respective city and pop them. I won’t go see them because I don’t agree with banging married women. All three women claim to love their husbands, but they just don’t have much in common with them and are bored. It’s obvious they married to get an easier (i.e. materialistic) life.
It’s interesting to contrast that with me (and I assume Freebird) that want to get away from that materialistic lifestyle.
I guess the grass is always greener…
View all comments by SiamSquare
Someone sent this to me in email - a free online dating site:
this one [www.dateinasia.com] is for free, no membership.
Lots of hotties in there but honestly I doubt you can be bothered to chat and exchange mails for hours in order to get a date…
View all comments by smitty
SS - great points. I think most thai girls move to their husband/bf/sponsor’s host country out of an obligation with some of them actually finding they like it and enjoy the new digs. However I think many Thai girls would rather stay put right here in Thailand.
These offshore relationships create quite conundrum for the most part. I too won’t go near married women but these single girls stuck in their apartments all day waiting for the daily yahoo IM session with the guy back home are just too tempting.
I am all for less materials, more work I actually love and more sex. Just seems like the right thing to do.
Small labor day link
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2007/09/labor-day.html
View all comments by smitty
And of course back in the US of A the police are targeting Craigslist for its P4P ads.
I am so happy I live here!
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/05/nyregion/05craigslist.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
View all comments by Arthur
I think saying all Thai girls are horny or over sexed is wrong. There’s not some genetic racial slut gene. But Thailand is going through a “sexual revolution” maybe similar to what our mum’s went through in the sixties and seventies. Women with the promiscuous gene, women with an open mind … women who want to experiment, feel a little freer to do so with a westerner. There’s 10 times more reserved virginesque girls who are holding out until they get married than there are tarts in BKK. But the girls who break the cultural ranks … nice.
Naturally poor girls of sorts will gravitate to the bargirl scene, get a sponsor and then fuck others for free or a night out; wealthier girls don’t, they go elsewhere. Many areas: Ratchada, RCA, Thong Lor, but i’ve picked up more in, would you believe, the Khao San (and off-Khao San) bar areas. Mainly in “in-trend” bars that are aimed at Thai’s. KS is near a couple of universities and the main Bangkok art school (gotta love an art school tarts). The girls i’ve “darrr’n” from KS came from pretty good families and just wanted to experiment. I was interest in meeting a gf, but they just wanted sex. They didn’t want the social stigma of having a white bf. I offered “taxi money” home but they refused because of the implications. Most even chipped in with the bar bill. They didn’t want phone numbers, they just wanted a one night stand. A good hard screw. At first I thought it was the old nana plaza myth that thai birds love us farang cos we have bigger cocks. But that was bollocks. The main reason seemed to be that western guy’s understood promiscous women. They treated them with the same respect as a girlfriend. Tried to give them a good time instead of just using them for our own pleasure, and there was no jealously, or saying the tarts were “slags” etc. It was a easy and good way to just have sex. One regular white boy shagger also said she wasnt scared there would be 3 other guys waiting back at my room. And she was shagging a different guy every friday.
Sure you can do someone elses whore whilst he’s away because she’s lonely. But the code of silence in BKK is not such a good thing - one day it will happen to you!!! There are other horny as F*** educated tarts that want to break away from the social norms and have fun, shag and not get their phone stolen. All the old timers hate BKK today, but that’s the great thing, the world is achanging and tarts are coming from everywhere!
If ur under 40, a bit fit, funny, willing to blow 600 baht on a bottle of cheap whiskey. The world’s your hoi.
View all comments by turnip
t - u seem to be all over the map here but I think I get it. I don’t think I said they are all horny or over sexed but having lived in China and HK and traveled to almost all the Asian countries I think the Thai girls are pretty horny.
I also think it is a great time to be in bkk.
the freebird I am dealing with is not a whore btw. University educated and in a design school. just super lonely and bored staying home all the time. Funny to be in the room when she is skyping her sponsor while I was drinking and watching TV.
Maybe I will get mine but I plan on being in town if I have gf or become sponsor. So I don’t think my girl will be lonely and go 3 months without sex. I hear u though.
Bkk is a nutty place. I guess I need to explore in KS road more. The restaurants and coffee shops near most of the unis are great places to meet girls as well.
View all comments by smitty
I’m pissed, of course i’m all over the place.
but …
me point being ….
you dont need to f*** an away farang’s barbird to get a freebie, you can fark a farkin’ thai guy bird instead! and an educated good one at that.
some how i feel bad at possibly effing up a poor (bar) girl’s life (possibly loosing her sponsor) when i can f*** up a rich girl’s life just as easily, she still got daddy to fall back on.
i think was the point, in a chang kinda way
art students are wicked, nice, i like …
View all comments by turnip
t - I think I get your point and understand the angle.
freebird is not a bg btw and I think she can handle herself.
chang is evil…
View all comments by smitty
buurp
laos is 60 baht!
View all comments by turnip
how is she not a BG if she has a sponsor?
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
i also think the MAJORITY that brand ALL thai girls as sex crazed sluts are blind to modern culture
walk into any beer bar/go-go and its undoubtably full of 50year old, poorly dressed (i cant critisize chinos and stripey polo shirts and sandals enough) poorly presented (just because your grey or balding doesnt mean you cant have a short clean respectable haircut) and poorly behaved (speaking cringeworthy broken english at high volumes and letching allover her when shes clearly uninterested is a bad look)
but these are the very guys i overhear time and time again tearing strips of ALL thai girls branding them sluts ……….
lets put this into perspective - these clowns wouldnt even venture into a regular western nightclub because they would be laughed out of there at the first turn or maybe even denied entry……. so they have no perspective of young western life - if they did get into a nightclub, or were accessable to dating 25year old girls they would realise western chicks are equally slutty (in certain sectors)
every culture is bound to have there sluts and good girls so why should thailand be no different?
i know 23year old english girls that have only ever had 1-2 partners in there life and loyal to the death - on the other hand….. i know girls that regularly welcome ‘4s up’ or after you fuck them in the ass on the back seat of your car ask dropping off at there boyfriends or her next ‘gigs’ house
the ones brandishing the girls have no chance in hell of getting a 25year old western equivalent (not that i like or would entertain a white chick anymore but i have the choice whereas the name-throwers dont) and wouldnt get a look in at RCA, Ratchada or chatting up a uni girl, so are limited to the bar scene which would lead them to think they are sluts
call this a rant if you will but this is a subject that really gets under my skin and is in no way aimed at anybody inparticular. i am 23 and same age range as majority of these bar girls but i am able to see both sides (bargirls and normal girls)
id love to hear feedback on what people think
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
myspace - not every girl with a sponsor or say a bf paying the way is a bg. How many thai girls you know that may not work but have a thai man or farang taking care of them. Remotely or not? I would imagine tens of thousands. That situation is not only about bar girls. It happens all over asia where the dude works and the girl stays home.
my freebird never worked in a bar that I know of, Does not dress, act or perform in bed like one and says she met her dude on the net. Like a lot of net savvy girls do these days.
On your rant. I am not sure I get the point of it or the message. My only point is I think the thai girls are horny. bgs or not. And yes the good girls like sex but they don’t put out right away. Generally 3-4 dates seems to be the ticket.
View all comments by smitty
Currently “Discount-Birding” a former Nana Slapper… Her sponsor is frequently out of the country and she’s definitely lonely and horny. However, it’s not completely free; rather, I throw her some purples or grays on occasion. Seems the “sponsor” isn’t always timely with his sponsoring obligations… This girl appears to be frustrated with the guy and can’t seem to understand that his work takes him abroad. Anyway, I’m happy to keep her company while he’s away.
View all comments by Bison
b - nice, discount birding. I do buy meals, bring over my own booze and buy drinks if I see her in the club but I don’t just hand over cash. So similar deal but works out fine for me as well.
View all comments by smitty
I’d like to offer a modified version of the freebird that I think of as the “caged bird”. I made this discovery last month when one of my favorite girls was barfined for a month by a customer who was in Thailand on business.
She stayed at his hotel with him every night, but he was working every day. She let me know what her situation was, and made arrangements to come visit me Monday to Friday from noon to 5 p.m. (I work from home with a very flexible schedule, so afternoon delight works for me).
She either brought or cooked lunch every day, we had sex all afternoon, then she showered and returned to the hotel in time to spend the evening with her customer who would buy her dinner and take her shopping. All this was free for me.
When I asked her about it, she said that sex with the customer was no fun, and she was bored staying alone all day in the hotel. Meanwhile, I was ’sanuk’ and she enjoyed sex with me, so she was happy to hang with me every afternoon.
Not quite a freebird, and certainly not available all the time, but good fun for a few weeks!
View all comments by werewolf
I met a girl once in Pattaya who paid her own barfine to go out with me and after she paid all the drinks all night long. She used the money that she earned from some Italian, who was in love with her.And of course the sex afterwards was free for me as well. Sometimes you get lucky.
View all comments by hanuman
Hmmm. Well, I read myspace.com/penfold_xxx’s, um, well, “rant”.
I have to conclude that his little “boast?salad” read pretty much like a weasley, backhanded “nyah-nyah-nyeh, nyah-nyah”.
(Ah, to be young and dewey once again
Pennfoldxxx, is simply delighted with all the righteous indignation that being 23 affords him, isn’t he?. From this bully pulpit of a self-admitted sponsored youth he seems equally delighted to slag men twice his age and living on less money than he. (Eeeeeuuuueeewww, so icky)
Well, actually, NO, He can’t really do that with impunity, so he first smears them all by saying that they categorize ALL Thai women as sluts. P boasts all the while of his own sexual prowess.
And THEN (after these guys are slandered good and proper for being icky, he slags ‘em.
Then he scrambles to reclaim some kind the high moral ground as he sees it: He writes that all these fellas sit around besmirching Thai women as sluts and are deserving of his disdain.
Thai women need not despair, however.
‘Cause pennfold’s’s there for them. (Or something like that)
‘That about it??
How wonderful it would be to actually be him
Geez, I hope he’s getting some free pussy out of all this ;-?
View all comments by Thongsuk