The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

People have various reasons for barfining or hooking up while out and about in Thailand. It could be the most often cited reason - u wanna get laid. It could be u just want some companionship over dinner and a game of pool. All good reasons. I would like to present another one - just follow her the rest of the night - making no demands as to where to go and see what happens. Just turn the whole “up to u” thing around and present it to her as your brilliant idea. Pretend for a moment u are Alice following the white rabbit - the girl, down the rabbit hole. U may find some pretty interesting places and at the very least u will have a great time.

Before I get to what happened last night, think freebird++, I will summarize as to why I started chasing the white rabbit. Back in time I used to have a girlfriend. Yes - she was a bargirl but hey that hasn’t stopped smarter people than me from taking a bargirl off the market for a while but I can’t say it was my most clever move. Remind me to get to the whole process of taking a bargirl off the market and trying as u might to delicately put her back once u find that it was not quite what she was advertising. Alas that is another post. Anyway. While I was going through TGEP - I would daringly go out sometimes and try to pick up knowing that back at home my soon to be ex-girlfriend would be waiting for me or maybe out looking for me. So if I did end up picking up I had a few choices - go to one of the short time hotels(possibly getting seen) or look at the girl and roll the dice saying “how about your place?” Many times this lead to an interesting night where I either ended up at her friend’s place for a party(all girls, all in their underwear playing cards), some way out of the way cheap Thai apartment building or to some after hours place that I had never seen before. The whole process turned into an adventure of its own - hence the rabbit hole comparison. I think it all makes sense.

Onto last night. I won’t name the venue so as not to incriminate anyone but it was one of our normal after hours spots. The crowd was sparse, the music was great and the drinks had ice. The makings of another story. Since my drinking buddy had shagged every girl in the general area I found myself drifting to other sections in the club hoping to find some fresh meat. As it always happens u eventually lock eyes with someone in the mating game that gets played out countless times across Bangkok in the wee hours of the morning. She was cute, older but looked like she wanted to have fun. Who am I to stop her.

I stepped in to buy a drink and chat her up. She was 30, cute, spoke good english and was not drunk at the time. I asked if we could hang out and she said yes just before sticking her tongue down my throat. Game on. We had a few more and kept talking and then she came out and said she needed to go home. Okay. Possible game off. I of course asked why and she said she had a boyfriend and needed to get home. I said no problem and walked away. 5 minutes later she beckoned me to come back so she could reexamine my mouth with her tongue probe. Maybe back on.

We talked some more and she said she wanted to leave the bar and go to another place. I said okay and we jumped in a cab. During the cab ride she explained that she has a boyfriend who comes to Thailand 3-4 times a year for a few weeks at a time. She has an apartment in Bangkok and a house in Isaan. She usually stays in Isaan most of the time with her folks, bored out of her mind and waits for her boyfriend to come back. Her boyfriend had just left town, about 24 hours ago, so she was spending a few more nights in Bangkok to visit friends and go out. We went to the Boss Club but it was closed, first time I had seen it closed so clearly the police have been busy, then we went to a club on Petchburi. Also closed. She hailed another cab and said she was going home. I said okay. C u next time. U don’t want to come over? Okay. Trying not to be pushy.

Off we went, further down the rabbit hole, a 20 minutes ride past Klong Toei to her apartment. I feel terrible using his pad and bed but hey - can’t say no to a freebird. I took a cab back early in the morning and while I was passing through Sathorn area got a call from another girl. I stopped in to say “hello”. Amazing Thailand.

editor’s note: I am not quite sure what these guys who rarely come to Thailand but keep a girlfriend here expect their girls to do when they are not here for months at a time. In my mind we are helping them out. Keeping them warm, happy and in shape. Sounds like everyone is getting a good deal. At least from a locals perspective.