The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

The government once again played a big role in Bangkok nightlife this week. Bars in Bangkok were given the orders to not sell alcohol starting Saturday at 6:00pm and ending Sunday at Midnight. Reason being…elections for Bangkok political positions needed to be redone from the last general election. As with any election here in Thailand the Government doesn’t want people drinking before they vote. Along with elections comes uncertainty for businesses selling alcohol. The government puts out the rules for not selling alcohol and then the Police decide who can and cannot sell. This all gets decided a few hours before the elections start which makes life very difficult for bar owners. The Big Mango made the decision to close Saturday and Sunday and I subsequently decided to go to Pattaya for a few days since the elections were only in Bangkok. As always the rules changed and bars got word on Saturday that instead of after midnight on Sunday they could start selling after 6:00pm (this is in general of course, there were many bars able to sell alcohol Saturday and Sunday based on how intimate their relationship is with the Police). We weren’t able to mobilize the troops to open and lost another day of business. Anyway, we were able to get a few days off so this week contains a mini-Pattaya update.

This week:
Pattaya Bar/Go-Go Update
After Hours Update
Tales From The Street
Big Mango Bar Update

Pattaya Bar/Go-Go Update
Made a little visit to Pattayaland this past Saturday and Sunday. This
place is off the hook. Party all night sleep all day rinse and repeat.
I can only do two days max though since the tendency is to party
excessively. A couple of bar/go-go/hotel/restaurant updates:
- Dynasty Inn (http://www.dynastyinn.com). Stayed at this hotel on Soi
13 for the first time. Nice joint. It’s 1280 baht a night, has clean
rooms, allows guests at no charge, and has some seriously soundproof
walls. A friend was staying next door and when I called his room I
couldn’t hear the phone ring…nice feature for many reasons. A little
expensive for Pattaya but worth the 1280
- Tahitian Queen (http://www.tahitianqueen.com). This is the queen of
the daytime go-go’s and is located on Beach Rd. between Soi 12 and Soi
13. It’s best to get there earlier in the afternoon to ensure a better
selection but there are always nice ladies on hand. The rates are
extremely reasonable and the short time accommodations are located on
premises
- Soi 6
Loaded with beer bars and some of the best values in Pattaya. The
protocol here is simple, you walk down the street and pass by beer bar
after beer bar. If you spot an attractive lady outside you take her
inside for a drink and to get to know her better. If all systems are go
you negotiate the bar fine and price for the girl. This total is
usually under a thousand baht and rooms are usually available on
premises. An exception among the beer bars and a new and welcome
addition to the soi 6 scene is a new go-go called Kiss Kool
- Kiss Kool. A new go-go on soi 6. First floor is a go-go. Second floor
has two pool tables. Third floor has rooms and a shower. The girls here
were attractive and very friendly. Also, the atmosphere was relaxed and
the music was very good. The deal here is pretty awesome as well, three
hundred for the bar fine which includes a room upstairs and then seven hundred for
the girl’s company. Worth a visit for sure as the girls here are a notch above the rest of soi 6
- Heaven’s Above (http://www.heavenabovepattaya.com). Go-Go located at
the end of Soi Diamond off Walking Street. This go-go is one of the
hottest right now in Pattaya and is packing them in. Why is it hot?
When I was there I saw two or three of the most beautiful girls I have
seen since moving to Thailand. The shows are also very revealing and
the girls outfits, when they are wearing outfits, are pretty hip. The
interior is stylish, all white, and the music via a DJ is very well done
- Super Baby (http://www.superagogo.com). Located at the end of Soi
Diamond off Walking Street. This go-go continues to host some of the best
talent of any go-go in Thailand. The music is also top notch and staff
is very friendly
- Club Boesche (http://www.clubboesche.com). Located on Soi 16 near the
end of Walking Street. It’s in a new go-go complex with Catz and Xzone.
Club Boesche tops the list right now for hottest go-go. It’s like a
mini go-go amusement park. There’s a hot tub downstairs with girls
wearing their birthday suits only and doing just about whatever they
want to do to each other. There is a traditional go-go stage downstairs
and upstairs hosts a shower and glass floor with bathing shows.
It’s an evolution in go-go’s taking us back to the good ole days and
obsoleting some of the go-go’s that have dominated lately with lame 2-step
dancing or tired shows
- Catz (http://www.catzagogo.com). Located in the same complex as Club
Boesche and Xzone on soi 16 off Walking Street. This was a major
disappointment. I read great reviews on a nightlife review site about
this but the reviews turned out to be completely off. The nightlife
review site got a bad review, probably from the bar owner or a friend
of the bar. It was just another go-go and the talent was really lame.
If they get some cuties they could do well though since they are
located right next door to Club Boesche
- Xzone. A new go-go located upstairs from Club Boesche. Has potential.
It’s a super-sized go-go with a bath show in the back, girls dancing on
poles at each table, and a center glass stage which you can sit
directly under. If Club Boesche continues to romp and Catz gets their
act together Xzone could come along for the ride
- Peppermint. Located upstairs next to Marine Disco on Walking Street.
This go-go has been packing them in for a while. There is a great deal
of talent, good music, and some unique offerings. They have topless
bartenders, naked girls in a booth, and some interesting stage shows
and outfits for the girls
- Casino Club (http://www.casinoclubpattaya.com). Located at the end of
Soi Diamond, all the way at the end down the alley. A very unique club
in Pattaya. It’s not a go-go or beer bar. It’s more of a Coyote Ugly
bar where they have dancing girls. You can buy the girls drinks but
they will only hang with you if they want. They are way above average
in looks and dance skills. The drinks and barfines are pretty
expensive. The music spinned is probably the best I have heard in
Thailand. It’s a boutique club that gets going after 2:00am and goes
late. It’s a see and be seen type place which is kind of pretentious
but nonetheless it can be pretty fun
- Marine Bar and Disco. Located in the middle of Walking Street up the
escalator next to Peppermint go-go. This is a huge dance club that
spins the latest tracks. Hundreds of people packed into this meat
market. Many drunkards trying to pick up because there are many ladies,
mostly freelancers but also Pattaya girls looking to party. Goes very
late
- Jenny Star Bar. Located in the middle of Walking Street. You can’t miss
this bar because there are usually ten or so Ladyboys dancing in front
and on the bar. Yes, it’s a Ladyboy bar but it’s open to all and plays
great music so you usually get a mixed crowd
- Classroom (http://www.classroom1.com). I only popped in for one drink
during the day but I have heard good things about this place from many
people. Check out their website
- Blue Parrot. Located on Soi Pattayaland 2 (13/4). This Mexican
restaurant is off the charts. I couldn’t believe what I was eating.
Without a doubt the best Mexican food I have had in Thailand. The staff
is very friendly and the prices very reasonable

After Hours Update
Closing times for 1am bars are once again slipping to 2am which is good news. After 2am the usual Soi Tunnel and Tequilla Dragon on 7/1 are the hot spots. Tequilla Dragon is starting to really pack them in. It’s pretty much a freelancer joint now taking their cues from Tunnel. The main thing though that helped this bar succeed was the ability to stay open all night every night when others couldn’t. Go figure.

Tales From The Street
This week’s tale is about a gusher experience that
was quite amusing. It was an unintentional buildup but a buildup
nonetheless that lead to his gusher. It started with a few days of not
getting any but coming close followed by some explicit attempts at a
few go-go and beer bars. For one reason or the other he didn’t get to his happy ending. Finally, he went to the one place that almost guarantees you
get off, Lolita’s, the oral care professionals. The poor little
schoolgirl outfit clad young lady he chose at the door unfortunately
didn’t know what she was in for. The events began and after a while the
Punter felt like a coke can put in the Dryer for an hour. Actually, it
was like the guy put a fire hose in the girls mouth and turned the
water on full blast. The fire hose quickly blew from her lips and
proceeded to spew all over the poor girls uniform and some even hit the
wall behind her. The Punter apologized for the overload while the girl
was cleaning the stains off her pleaded skirt and little white socks.
Lolita’s girl X receives this week’s Working Girl of the Week award and will enjoy free dry cleaning at Noi’s Dry Cleaning and Stain
Removal located on Soi Bukkake.

Big Mango Bar Update
- July Special: VB Beer for 80 baht
- Kitchen Special Of The Week: Grilled Pork Chop "Piccata" served w fettuccini and tomato sauce

-pmmp