Have been wanting to go to Thailand for the last few years. Finally, had the money, time, and opportunity to go. So I set about buying an airline ticket from orbitz.com(1), and asking for the maximum time off I could get away from my work, 17 days total. Planned it coinciding with Thanksgiving weekend for a few bonus vacation days on top of my personal vacation days. And also the fact that November is supposed to be one of the good months to go, I hope.
Bought a stack of guide books(2) a new digital camera(3), and a couple nicer pieces of clothing, such as lightweight thin dress pants. I can’t believe Thai people wear pants in 90-plus degree(4) weather, wtf? Anyway, I want to look like I’m not another t-shirt and shorts wearing tourist. But I know I will be one anyway, since I can’t speak a single word of Thai.
Then I started goofing around online, and found dateinasia.com aka DIA, somehow. Cool, it’s a free dating site. I get a zillion unsolicited responses from Philipinas. Not sure if that’s because they are the main demographic on DIA or because they just happen to like me more than Thai girls do? Mildly, a bummer for the fact that I’m not going to PI and there an endless supply of girls there. As for BKK, I’ve clicked through the pool of active girls and written to say hi to a few(5).
What else … I was googling things(6) trying to figure out Bangkok and found a bunch of forums and ended up here on this 2thebigmango blog. The writing here kicks ass, I’m really impressed. Reading through it, brought up as many questions as it answered ones I had. But I think most of questions are noobie questions, that I’ll figure out.
Right now I’m just doing that counting down the days thing. I’ll be there soon and will drop in on both the mango bar and the duke bar. Would like to meet some of you bloggers. If you’d like an extra guy to chip in for a bottle of whisky at a g-club, I’d be down for that.
…Footnotes…
(1) orbitz.com - I tinkered around with a couple of the travel reservation websites and airline sites and concluded that it’s best to just learn one site, one with a good interface. So I totally recommend orbitz. I’ve used it a couple times to buy tickets. I like the little matrix thing you can use on orbitz, showing a range of start and return dates. Airfares were pretty jacked up after this summer by the cost of oil, so it was a tough time to be looking for anything cheap, $1100 from San Francisco.
(2) guide books - I bought the following books:
timeout - bangkok
wallpaper city guide - bangkok
lonely planet encounter - bangkok
knopf map guides - bangkok
So, ya…at first I was excited about Q-bar, because I read about it in the guidebook. And went online and found the website and was like, OMG, there’s hot girls there, I’m going!!! Then I read that post by BigBabyKenny about #1 place to avoid is Q-bar. And I was like, forehead slap, doh. I should have figured as much.
All my damn guidebooks name this place, Q-bar. So, I can see now that some, but not all places in the guidebook, may be tourist traps. Ok, ok.
The timeout book is god-awful prose and confusing to correlate to a map. But it does have the most listings, some of which may be useful, I don’t know yet. Lonely Planet is fairly concise and colorful. But it was written by some women’s lib type of chick and seems to spend a lot of time talking about where to go shopping. I hate the puritanical vibe all these damn guide books have. I swear there’s more pages dedicated to Gay and Lesbianism than there is to RLD related spots. Sheesh.
(3) digital camera - canon a590
#1 best seller on amazon.com, seems pretty good camera to me. Currently $116, seems like equivalent features to a $400 camera from a year or two ago. Not sure how ambitious I will be, but I imagine myself taking killer street level type of shots that get thousands of hits on flickr.com … btw, flickr.com is a great resource for travel research. any keyword you can think of, there’s likely to be pics of it. I found a couple good ones of the Lolita’s place for example.
(4) metric system -
I don’t know it, celcius, kilos, meters? I know my weight sounds better in kilos, I weigh less than 100!!! Girls are telling me their bra size in metric, and I have no idea, is a 70B good? sounds really fricken skinny, but that’d be fine by me.
(5) chatting online -
They seem pretty quick to hand out the email address. All of them chat on msn. Over here in the US, nooooobody uses msn, that I know of, we’re all about aim and yahoo. People use msn in Thailand, got it now.
Also note, most of these girls have either hi5 or tagged pages. I was like ah..um..do I want to get into this, the whole social networking chase? I thought I was done with that? Then I found out it’s not really necessary. Since all you really care is to see their pics, just copy paste their email address into the search box and you can find their page. It’s not really stalking behavior, imo, since a couple of the girls told me to find them that way.
As far as chatting goes, it’s debatable, but probably a waste of time to put too much effort into it. Just keep it simple and fun. But I feel it’s good investment to put in a little effort to make a few non-bargirl friends in advance. Now I can have somebody to tour around town with, I hope. On the other hand, the girls are sometimes looking for more, and if you don’t give it to them, eventually the will give you a sad face and some typing in all-caps that says like, WHY YOU FORGET ME
So, given that recurring prob, I recommend starting the chatting activity as close as possible to your departure date rather than weeks or months in advance, because it’s impossible to sustain idle non serious chit-chat for that long.
(6) google -
gives somewhat frustrating and arbitrary results per search, but I think google maps is awesome, I love the satelite view. Zoom in really close and you can see the buildings, and streets. I even saw a skytrain on the track on Sukhumvit!!
You might want to check out Werewolf’s “Plug and Play” submission
View all comments by suk-dog
Have fun in Bangkok, its the real City of Angels. Stay away from Tuk Tuks and the entire Khao San Road and you should be fine!
View all comments by The Soi Lawyer
I wouldn’t call Q Bar a tourist trap. As a mongering location, yes it’s overpriced and one to avoid, but it’s still a decent dance club. Depends what you’re looking for.
Take BBK’s posts with a pinch of salt. Or a bucketful.
Hardly anyone outside the USA uses AIM. It’s not just a Thailand thing.
Tagged.com is a godsend. Use it.
I would use the guidebooks for “daylife” reference (temples, markets, restaurants, all your respectable destinations), and this site for the less salubrious locations. Lonely Planet is particularly dreadful on that front.
The Guide has a nice Google Map view of most of the nightlife locations you’re likely to want to visit. And if you drop into the Mango, introduce yourself to a few people and ask where the hot spots are. Then sit back and enjoy the fireworks as everyone bitches about each other’s recommendations…
Most of all, relax and enjoy, and try not to fall in love with a bargirl
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Take Soi 4 as the epicentre of your base, & everything spiders out from there. Good luck & enjoy. I will be in town from the 13th to the 19th. My epicentre wil be the Big Mango bar.
View all comments by Auk
@BBK - try not to fall in love with a bargirl. That happens to me every single time!
View all comments by Auk
@BBB - try not to fall in love with a bargirl. That happens to me every single time! Apologies
View all comments by Auk
7. Bring a big box of condoms made in the U.S. Some of the brands made in Thailand are pretty dodgy.
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
You’ll never quite look at life the same way again - enjoy the transition
View all comments by doctorbond
First of all, what doctorbond said.
That’s definitely a nice point and shoot digital camera. However, if you want to step up a bit, consider getting a used 35mm camera. There are dirt cheap point-and-shoots and SLRs out there, and the resolution on 35mm film is way beyond anything you can get even with the most expensive digital cameras there are.
Have a great trip, I’m completely jealous.
View all comments by tosh
Qbar and Bed have always been good pick up joints for me (without paying)
If you look like BBK best to avoid, if you look half decent you’ll do just fine there…
View all comments by jim
If you have trouble sleeping…… read one of BBK’s posts.
In addition to the Big Mango Bar visit… ask someone to point you in the direction of Lolitas.
- And don’t forget to claim your Bangkok Virgin shot at the Mango Bar!
View all comments by Daywalker
Some quick advice, follow the money. Bargirls generally make money as follows:
- You buy them a drink, they get 40 baht/drink
- You pay a barfine on average 600baht. The girl may get 100 of this if they make a certain amount but generally the girl gets none of it. Most times they will also have a quota to make a certain amount of barfines a month so the more barfines the better for her status in the bar with management
- You pay the girl for short-time sex or long-time sex. The prices will vary but on average it’s 1500-2000 short-time and 2500-3000 long-time. The girl keeps all of this.
- She will get a salary from the bar if her attendance is good, about 8000 baht/month on average
- 1 dollar is around 34 baht
Understand how she makes money and how much and use common sense the rest of the way. Good luck.
View all comments by pmmp
Read Stephen Leather’s book “Private Dancer”
View all comments by Zdan
Natural Game,
Unlike The Gulliver’s post, the Q-bar post is still true.
The bar girl economics that drive the place and the TG’s that hang there are still the same.
The farang clientele is still the same as described in the post.
If you want a pure dance club experience try the clubs at RCA.
If you want to go to a G-Club try The Sky on Sri Nakarin Road—way cheaper and more fun than the ones located near Sukhumvit—The Pent, Soprano’s, etc.
It is a little intimidating but you can go to The Sky alone. Ask for the hostess named Nine. She speaks good English and if you tell her you are a newbie, she will explain everything and effectively interface between you and the girls.
If you are the adventurous type, leave The Reservation, swing by Starbuck’s Soi Lang Suan on Saturday or Sunday around 4PM wearing your lightweight dress pants, and see if your “Natural Game” works on normal Thai girls.
If you are the really adventurous type, head into the wilderness and look for some good reading at the Ram library.
And don’t forget to get a tune up and flush at The Orchid when you first get off the plane.
Looking forward to reading about your experiences in a future post.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
Too many people on this blog give Q Bar a hard time.
‘It does what it says on the tin’ In other words it delivers exactly what you would expect. International D.J’s, posers, expensive booze (reletively speaking) etc, etc. Have had some great nights in there.Have paid and have scored without paying. To any ‘newbie’ go and ‘fill your boots’ and have a great night. For me BKK is all about the variation of venues and you should experience it all. That’s why we all keep coming back year after year.
The only time I did’nt ‘pull/pay’ in QBar was when I took Daywalker with me but then anyone who knows him will understand. That is one ugly fucker and a midget as well:-)
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
CB… I ‘pulled/paid’ that night… however, the girls saw you checking out my arse all night and left you to the ladyboys.
View all comments by Daywalker
Went to Qbar twice and was highly unimpressed both visits - Wannabe Hi-so ferang pricks bowling round like their shit doesnt stink, when it really does stink…… of shit funny enough. Was hardly bowled over by the quality of girls on offer too from what i had read. A blurry line of who are on the game, and who arent, but was not really inspired to try and forece the issue.I agree with Chelseablue about relatively expensive grog. Only saving grace was the slick music which tempted my snakehips into action.
Online chatting is the business. Tagged is my weapon of choice, and has served me with a high batting average of 50%plus dates to lays. I even met a monied chick from Bang Sue who took me under her wing for a month until i flew home and showered me with gifts and cash
You do have to sift through a lot of dullards who look the part but have precisely fuck-all going on between the ears, but some real gems on there who are game and up for a laugh - I only really see 2 things halting any progress…. If your considerably older than the girls (old perv - intentions obvious), and if they know your only in town for a few weeks.
If you hunt around Tagged long enough though, you always stumble across some Issan whore spread eagled on her bed in her bra with her hand covering her bare snatch, covered in tattoos whos hobbies include ’sex in my ass’
Whatever you do, dont speak pidgeon english in bars, and dont wear ‘lightweight dress pants’ because both of them make you look like a cunt. Have fun, chill out and enjoy the ride my man
View all comments by Young Penfold
In case you want to follow Suk Dog’s advice:
http://werewolfslair.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/bangkok-plug-n-play/
View all comments by Werewolf
Let me throw in a few comments…
Knowing what I do about the BKK g-clubs, I wouldn’t go it alone unless you have a big wad of cash to toss. Too much of an opportunity for you to get ripped off. Regardless of how well you think things are being explained, something always seems to be “misunderstood” or “left out”. Even going with a group doesn’t guarantee it won’t happen, but g-clubs are expensive and the better deals are to be had buying bottles, so unless you’re a really heavy drinker or plan to come back, a considerable amount of booze will go to waste.
In my opinion, every newbie should go to a couple malls their first full day here. Yea, that’s right, MALLS. Check out the Siam Paragon shopping center next to the Siam BTS between 4PM and 8PM weekdays and MBK on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon or Central World at Chit Lom BTS any early evening or weekend. Central World and Paragon have the more hi-so visitors and MBK has the unrefined redneck types I’m more comfortable around; your mileage may vary. Anyway, you’ll get a good perspective of the quality of women available here away from the bar areas (g-club or otherwise). You’re certain to see a few stunners walking about or working in the stores. Now you have a gauge for your night crawling.
One other thing: Never, ever, ever, EVER commit yourself to one girl your first couple nights here! DON’T BE A BONEHEAD. Regardless of how smoking hot you think that girl is you just saw on the way to your hotel or while shopping or that one you saw dancing in the bar; DON’T let a single one of those leeches get attached to you! Be polite, smile and say “No thank you.” or get a phone number and tell her you’ll call. Fact is, this is turning out to be the lowest high season in many years and YOU are (or more appropriately, YOUR MONEY IS) in high demand. LEVERAGE YOUR WORTH.
And what YP said about the pants. Unless you’re an older slag planning to troll the hotel bars/lounges, taking a girl that you PREVIOUSLY met at least a couple times out for dinner or you plan on cruising the high end shopping centers for the hi-so types, forget the long pants. After all, what are you looking for, a shag or a wife?
View all comments by Bubba
LOL, yeah, he may not want a wife but maybe he wants a quality shag?
Yep, the bar girls size you up just as you do them, and if you want one of the prettier ones better dress nice. Makes u look richer. “Long pants” I would think would be a minimum - it scares me to think that Bubba fellow advises you not to wear long pants! It’s a simple point, but it always stuns me how many white people fail to get how important dress is in Asia. This occurs all over Asia, BTW.
That being said, overdressing makes you look dorky too so don’t go too far - casual business seems the way to go. Try style if u can pull it off, but not if u have no clue.
Good luck.
View all comments by Pierre
2 more tips:
- if you need a break from the suk 4 meat market treat yourself to a massage at rachadapisek rd. its easy to get there, just grab the bts (skytrain) 1 stop from nana to asok and then change to the mrt (subway). Hop off the mrt at Huay kwang and youre ready for action. 5-6pm is about the best time to go.
- be sure to study this post by pmmp! http://www.2thebigmango.com/main/2008/07/28/mango-game-show-part-2-is-she-a-he-by-pmmp/
View all comments by Mr Carpet
Go and enjoy, you will never be the same and that’s a good thing.
View all comments by burgerman
Actually, a couple other things now that I think of it.
- Fave ‘fancy’ place to eat/drink in my opinion is Vertigo, top of the Banyan Tree hotel. Easy walk or motosai from the Lumphini subway stop.
- Don’t forget to see a Muay Thai fight.
- I’ve taken cooking lessons from a couple of different places, but for English language guides to some cool food in some neighborhoods check out http://importfood.com/thai_food_blog.html. I’m sure the locals can help even more but it’s not a bad place to start (and not a bad place to find some ingredients if you don’t live in BKK or NYC). Believe me, you haven’t eaten Thai food if you’ve never been to the country.
- BBK is 100% right about Orchid. Hit that joint the first day you’re there, just to get your feet under yourself.
- Wat Traimit, the temple of the golden buddha, is a stunner. It’s more or less impossible to get a decent picture of it (photographing exquisitely polished gold is no small feat) but it’s an incredible work or art.
- At least one day find a place to sit outside or at a food court in the Silom/financial district at quitting time. The march of shockingly hot office girls will blow your mind. I stopped doing this after my first trip because I was worried I might throw myself off the roof at Vertigo.
- If you like ‘em younger do the same in the Siam Square area to ogle the uni girls.
- Nearly everything described in the Lonely Planet guide is wrong, boring, a tourist trap, annoying, or some combination of the above.
- I know a segment of the Mango crowd will think I’m an effete homo for saying this, but the Nancy Chandler map is actually quite useful for most things non p4p related.
- Have fun, you lucky bastard.
View all comments by tosh
Oh yeah and dont forget to go to Pattaya.At least two days.
View all comments by Mr Right
Can anyone translate “lightweight dress pants” into English?
View all comments by MSB
Another tip: If you are staying at a Hotel don’t be shy about finding out and modifying their “guest” policy. First, make sure before you book that they accept “guests” without any extra charge. Second, when you do bring a guest(s) back make sure they take her ID when she comes with you and MORE importantly make sure they call your room when she leaves the hotel. It’s VERY VERY rare that a working girl would drug you and steal what they can from your room but if it does happen this is one way to avoid her leaving while you are passed out. Again, it’s extremely rare that this happens so don’t get all freaked out at the suggestion but better safe than sorry.
One more, there’s a really good Pharmacy run by a very nice Thai-Chinese family. Cheap, they have a large inventory, and they speak great English. It’s by the corner of Sukhumvit and Soi 4. There is the new 7-11/McDonalds complex on the corner, it’s a few doors down. There is a small Pharmacy with a magazine stand and then a bigger open-aired Pharmacy next door which is the one I’m talking about. It’s a bit dated but they are always so helpful.
View all comments by pmmp
@MSB: Chinos? Or just iron a crease into your jeans…
If you can’t get laid in a brothel without wearing specialised trousers, there’s something very seriously wrong with you.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Just one piece of advice to add, If you go to Patpong DO NOT go up any small stairways to 2nd floor bars!!!!
View all comments by Catman
@Catman: The better advice might be to avoid Patpong but good advice if the lad does brave it. The only exception is the Kangaroo Club BJ bar. It’s upstairs and if you’re into sleazy BJ bars that don’t rip you off then it fits the bill. Almost every other upstairs option is a huge scummy scam tourist ripoff.
View all comments by pmmp
As the others say you will be changed forever in a ggod way..
Aviod all tuk tuk drivers ,and any fucker telling you to go and see the lucky buddhu down the road, there will be some one trying to scam you one way or another when you get to the oh so lucky buddhu !!
Enjoy..
View all comments by Fish
@MSB: According to Wiki: “Dress pants, or suit pants are a style of pants intended as formal or semi-formal wear. They are often made of either wool or polyester and may be designed to be worn with a matching suit jacket.”
Other types of legwear listed are: “Bell-bottoms · Bermuda shorts · Bondage pants · Boxer shorts · Capri pants · Cargo pants · Culottes · Cycling shorts · Jeans · Jodhpurs · Overall · Parachute pants · Shorts · Sweatpants · Windpants”
So you really have plenty of alternatives if you don’t wis to wear shorts. I’m going to try jodhpurs and then windpants on my next visit.
View all comments by Combover
Oh, BBB, everyone most surely can get laid in Thai brothels, the wonderful thing about them is that they keep on hand at least some girls willing to accept nearly anyone.
On the other hand, if you’re the kind of guy who won’t accept just “anyone” when it comes to girls, you had best don a nice pair of “specialized trousers”, which you would be shocked to learn are bizarrely, perversely known in the rest of the world as a “clean pair of long (yep, long) pants that look nice”.
But hey, this is Bangkok, and the bars hold a welcome for all types, even if you’re wearing a speedo, rubber sandals, and a stained wife beater (the uniform of success at the Big Mango, perhaps?), so come with pants or no pants at all!
View all comments by Pierre
I think that you have “over-prepared” for this trip. Disregard most of that info. It will take care of itself. Don’t forget after the bars close there are some great After Hours action options. The Mango Weekly give (sometimes) a of what’s happening and the closing times. Otherwise just follow the crowd. But definatly hit one.
View all comments by 8 Ball
NG, don’t know who your phone carrier is here in the states (I’m with T-mobile and they will unlock your phone if you’ve been a customer >90 days) but if you have a quad band(850,900,1800,1900MHg)or sometimes called “world phone” and it’s UNLOCKED from your cell service provider, you can buy a Bangkok SIM at any 7-11 24/7(or pretty much anywhere) and pay as you go inexpensively. If you can’t verify or don’t care about paying <$100, you can buy a phone in one of many places in BKK! Having a phone is kind of a must, so try to work it out. All and all the boys at the Mango are a great source of info and the place is perfectly located as a base station so for the price of a drink or breakfast you can’t go wrong! On my first trip I went out 21 nights in a row and had a BKK vet show me the ropes for the first week(of my 40 day trip) and I needed medical attention on #22. Partying like a rockstar every night is very possible for a 17 day trip! If you can budget around $300.00 a day total X 17, you will have many a Dr.Phil life changing moments! Hit it as hard as you can!!! cheers brother
ask pmmp to forward my email if you want any other info from a fellow Cali native
View all comments by ron
Oh! and do see some of the real Tourist Attractions. The River has a Tourist package that lets you see abut 15 sites. Otherwise you will be like a sailor on liberty who has traveled all over the world and has seen nothing but bars and brothels
View all comments by 8 Ball
Oh, and Thai girls are not nearly as hot as you’ve heard. Have you considered the credibility of your sources? You’re in for a bit of a let down, but you’ll still have fun! Just don’t expect too much.
Would love to hear your impressions when you’re done!
View all comments by Pierre
When I read this post I couldn’t help but think of the line:
“Welcome to my web said the spider to the fly”.
View all comments by Moonman
@Pierre: Jeans do me fine. I am probably the pickiest guy I know.
Perhaps some girls will accept Dress Pants are a substitute for a sense of humour?
@naturalgame: If you’re smiling and having fun, it really doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. sideshowBob wears shorts to G-Clubs, to my eternal horror, and manages to do just fine.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@8ball given that I spent 8 years of my youth in the USN, I hold those blurry memories dearest in my heart! If he likes Thailand he’ll come and eventually see touristy shit? Seek and conquer all that is to be relished! and then we pass on…
View all comments by ron
Only thing I hate about dressing presentable is trying to get the dry cleaner to get all the nasty booze and beer smells and stains out!
View all comments by ron
There is ‘touristy shit’?
View all comments by Daywalker
Ron- as a former seagoing Marine we always preferred to visit the museums and art festivals and mostly enjoyed high teas around the globe that is before we got “sloshed”
View all comments by 8 Ball
I can’t believe in 42 posts that no one suggested this newbie who will be in Thailand for 17 days not go to
There’s not going to be a lot in BKK that will blow his mind more than here.
Yo, NaturalGame, after knocking about a bit in Bangkok, take the skytrain to the Ekamai stop and walk over to the bus station and get the half-hourly bus from Ekamai (128 baht) (or a limo, if you want to blow needless cash) and stay a couple days in Fun Town.
You only need read some of my archived posts to know why.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
PG… Comment no.23…
“Oh yeah and don’t forget to go to Pattaya.At least two days.”
- By Mr.Right!
View all comments by Daywalker
Sorry, DW, I lost focus when I saw Kenny pop in….
Couple other thoughts re: other comments:
@PMMP — I actually got ripped off at that pharamacy. Sold me some tablets that were copies of the copied goods. Very low potency. Swore I’d not go back there.
And all the chat on slacks / pants / shorts? Seems like a lot of focus on a pretty minor item.
My feeling is this: Wear long pants at night. Jeans, whatever. Wear a shirt that’s been washed recently. Take a shower. Comb your hair (or whatever ssb does with his mop.)
Very Basic Stuff.
Dressing well, or at least presentably, helps. Even in a brothel. You get more attention and better odds of landing the hotties. If a shag is a shag to you, then stick to the shorts and wifebeater. If you aspire for the hottest girls in the bar, then don’t dress like a slob.
So simple, I’m surprised it needs to be dicussed at such length.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Clearly there is a line - if you wander in wearing speedos and a bandana, she’s going to roll her eyes.
I’d do the same if you rolled in wearing Dress Pants.
She can spend your cash far more easily than she can spend your fabrics, and that’s what she’s there for.
Young Penfold takes Rainbow girls for 1k in jeans. sideshowBob has done the same in shorts, if I remember rightly.
If you don’t have game, maybe dressing up helps. If you’ve got game, it really doesn’t matter.
Smelling and looking clean is far more important than legwear, either way.
If you aspire to the hottest girls in the bar, point at the hottest girl in the bar and say “I want that one”. I have never been refused sex on the basis of insufficently expensive trousers.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@PG: Sorry to hear on the Pharmacy. They’ve always done me right but perhaps a better suggestion would be the Pharmacy inside Foodland on Sukhumvit Soi 5. Safer for sure but they won’t have quite the inventory, but for most items it should do fine.
While I’m here, another tip, most bars don’t ask you to pay everytime you order. Instead they keep a bin with all your orders in it. It’s called a “check bin”. Keep track of it. It’s not rude to look at the tickets in the bin to make sure you are being charged correctly. The check bin is the root of many scams played in bars so keep an eye on it.
View all comments by pmmp
@ALL: Please keep the tips coming. This is turning into a good “must read for newbie’s” Post. We may sum it up and format later but for now let’s see what comes in.
Tips like “no need to brush before going down on a GoGo girl” will not be considered for inclusion.
View all comments by pmmp
I think the most important advice of all should be…
WEAR A CONDOM!!!!
View all comments by Daywalker
Does one wear a condom with or without dress pants??
View all comments by MSB
Some important ones (or more important than legwear…):
Everyone you meet will instinctively know that you are a first-time tourist. There’s no point in pretending you aren’t, they can smell it a mile off.
In the bars, as everywhere else, some people will try to take advantage of this.
For example, you’ll be sat in a gogo bar staring at hot naked girls, when the ugliest girl in the bar will come and sit in your lap. She knows that you don’t know the polite way to get rid of her, and is taking advantage of this. She’ll pester you for drinks, and generally be a pain. Just smile, and tell her to go away. If she refuses, ask for the bill and make it clear she’s the reason why. You’re the customer - remember that.
The going rate has been covered, I think. That said, some girls will still try and get you to agree to a higher price, even if you counter with the going rate. “You have more money, can pay more”, is the logic.
Most people will tell you not to pay a penny more than you need to, but if the girl’s hot and you’re not on a tight budget, why not? You’re on vacation.
Some bars have underage girls. The age of consent is complicated, but to all extents and purposes it’s 18.
If the girl is 17 or under, you could technically find yourself in jail. That said, when’s the last time a Westerner was arrested for taking an underage girl from a gogo bar? Anyone?
Still, you don’t want to be the first one.
When you’re checking the girl’s ID card, her date of birth might be written using the Buddhist calendar. In the Buddhist calendar, it isn’t 2008. It’s 2551. So if she was born during or before 2533, she’s legal.
That said, the newer ID cards have the Western date on now - I think that if a girl has one of the older cards with the Buddhist year on, then she must already be over 18 by virtue of having one. Not 100% sure on that one though.
There’s tons more, but you could fill a whole website with this stuff. Oh, we did
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
tip:
YP pokes a condom up his arse before he goes out at night.
- Better safe than sorry.
View all comments by Daywalker
Strangely, one environment in which I feel most conspicuous if scruffy, unshaven or sweaty, is the Skytrain. When covered in a day’s worth of Bangkok trail dirt I can feel pretty sheepish when stepping from platform into an AC filled carriage awash with cute and fragrant young Thai women.
Bangkok taxis are metered, cheap and plentiful. If a taxi driver refuses to use the meter - generally just the case outside tourist hotels - just step out and get in the next one.
Motorcycle taxis are handy for zipping around over short distances (NEP to Soi Cowboy for example) if the streets happen to be clogged with traffic, or if you are just too excited to take an extra five minutes. If you enjoy extreme sports, try incentivizing a motorcycle taxi driver with an extra 20 baht to get you to your destination quicker.
View all comments by Combover
It’s pretty difficult to get into trouble in Bangkok.
No underage.
Don’t be carrying drugs.
Always use a condom.
Everything else should take care of itself.
View all comments by Riodon
I think the best advice to a first-timer would be to do absolutely everything badly wrong on the first night. Don’t wear a condom, get fucked up the arse by a ladyboy, throw your money at the go-go girls, get clinically ill on drink and leave your credit card on the bed while you pass out in the shower.
BBB has been following this regime for years now with no ill effects.
View all comments by Pants Elk
co - so true on the skytrain.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Since when has BBB thrown any money around anywhere?
View all comments by Daywalker
@NG - If PMMP wants more comments, well, I can still type.
- The whole pants things. Thailand IS a society where you will be MORE judged on how you’re dressed, and the further you get away from lower Suk the more that’s true. If you’re young and have a style certainly don’t deviate from it, you want to meet people for what you are. But if, like, say, me, you’re in your late 30’s and a corporate shill you’re better off looking good, again esp the further away you are from the straight p4p scene. You won’t have a hard time picking out the kind of person you do NOT want to be associated with. Put it this way, I’ve met venture capitalists who own their own planes who dressed in old jeans and a t-shirt for a business meeting. In the US that makes you eccentric, in Thailand that makes you a slob.
- I’ve done most of the ‘touristy’ stuff. Most of it is worth doing, though it’s some of the least memorable stuff I’ve experienced there. I usually avoided tour guides and just read up on stuff before I went, but that’s the way I travel anyway.
- We’re getting to real minutiae here but every BTS stop, near the exit, has a little stand with fresh juices. Buy a few of those per day (guava for me, thanks much). It helps you keep your blood sugar and hydration in the right areas, and the juices are really good. You’re going to be sweating LOTS so get used to worrying about drinking enough water.
- Food. I go bonkers trying to avoid anything that the locals don’t eat. I’m always hounding my Thai friends to take me not to where they think I should eat but where THEY like to eat. This means a lot of street restaurants and food carts, which seems a little scary, but so far I’ve only had stomach problems once in six weeks being there, and who knows where that happened. If you’re into other kinds of Asian food (Indian, Vietnamese, Malay, Chinese, etc) you can find all of them a lot more interesting than you get in the US.
- Walk slower and talk quieter. That goes for traveling in Europe too, everywhere but England and Italy.
- Lastly, there are numerous warnings here about touts, crooked girls, and clip joints. While that is all good advice, on the whole Thais are as honest, gracious, and generous a group of people as you will ever have the good fortune to meet. You can learn a great deal from them if you allow it, and each of my trips has had at least one moment where I suddenly got some dust in my eye after someone did something shockingly nice to me. For every battle hardened Patpong scam artist there are dozens of great people in Thailand, so don’t let the (legitimate) fear of the former keep you from meeting the latter.
View all comments by tosh
One more, then I’ll shut up, promise. Do NOT get your film developed overseas. I don’t know why but for some reason US film labs seem way better than their international counterparts. I always get a few of my ‘throwaway’ rolls developed while I’m traveling just to see how I’m doing and nearly every time they come back with one or tow really great shots but the negative is all screwed up.
OK, Tosh will stop yapping now . . .
View all comments by tosh
What’s “film”?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@DW - add ironic air quotes. I don’t actually believe BBB has got laid once since he moved to Bangkok.
@tosh - that whole pants thing - I wear QUALITY FABRICS jeans, and seem to get by with minor royalty, corporate execs, cabdrivers and crack whores with no probs. I have never worn *slacks* and DRESS SHOES in my life, either. You can wear the conservative “I’m not a sex tourist, really” combo and still look like a dull slob.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@ BBB - ‘film’ is this great stuff that let’s me carry a camera the size of a pack of cigarettes that gets me a higher resolution image and sharper optics than my Nikon DSLR which ways a ton and screams ‘STEAL ME.’ Love that film stuff.
Last picture taking tip to impress the Thai ladies–overexpose them a stop or a half stop. I have yet to meet a Thai woman without the obsession with light skin. As 99.999% of digital pictures are looked at once on the LCD and then thrown away up arriving home, you can just set your camera that way. If you take a picture of something you really care about, then shoot another picture at the right settings and tell your Thai friends, with an air of great knowledge and experience, that you are ‘bracketing.’
View all comments by tosh
Quite often in my youth, doing all the group holidays in Ibiza, Magaluf etc, there would always be bunch of pissed fat slags who want a group photo… cue me.. I’d offer to take their pic on their wind-up piece of shit. Just as they are all smiling and looking happy, I’d tilt the camera before snapping, cutting all their fucking heads off.
That caused many, many seasons of humor.
View all comments by Daywalker
Digital Cameras - Take 2 SD cards. The first one is for the tourist pictures, the second card is for the Notty pictures. When you are on your way back home, hide the notty SD card in one of your pants and pack it. Load the tourist card in your camera, your camera may get searched at US customs.
Plane Advice - As soon as you hop on the plane set your watch to “Thai Time” then try to stay up at hours you will be up in thailand and sleep during your sleep hours. This is to set your internal clock.
Orbitz - Not the best way.. check out Kayak.com or vayama.com then check with the airlines website, or if you live in LA get to know a Agent in Koreatown or Chinatown (they get better prices somehow)
Hotels - Pick something close to the action, where you can walk to BTS. Some that i Like Dynasty Grand (not inn), President Solitare, Majestic Grand, S15 Hotel they are all modestly priced.
Pattaya - I used to abhor pattaya but now have accepted it for what it is PURE SEXUAL hedonism. You need to do a few days there, just to see what sex oozing out of your pores looks like.
G-Clubs - Dont go… not the first time at least. It may give you a bias against the little issan girls at the gogo clubs. But do go if you come back (and u will come back). If you do go, just go with an open mind that its kinda like a candy bar shop that is closed fun to watch but hard to get.
Think of your first time to explore, just have a good time. Dont worry too much about penny pinching its a vacation enjoy!
View all comments by GoodLife
My advice: Don’t listen to too much advice. Why spoil the fun of everything by reading about what is going to happen on a blog. Kinda like watching the shorts of a movie these days when they proceed to describe (and ruin) the whole movie.
When I first arrived in BKK I was nailing freelancers all over the show without paying largely because I had no idea they were freelancers.
Ignorance is bliss. Try to hold on to it.
View all comments by jim
I dont own a pair of ‘evening slacks’ and my ‘dress shoes’ are 100baht white canvas sandals bought from roadside markets.
Hunting gear is dirty/baggy jeans with the knees cut out, and a 100 baht second hand tshirt from JJ market and it works for me when whoring, and when chasing normal ass. Just dont wear a beer-branded singlet. Please dont!
View all comments by Young Penfold
Q bar is along with the tunnel one of the best places in Bkk. Of course if you are fat ugly and 50+- y.o. it might be a bit expensive and unfriendly.
however if you are none of above I recommend q bar and tunnel!!!!!!!
greetings,
el magico
View all comments by El Magico
Thanks to everybody for the thoughtful comments. So many of them were funny too (Combover, Daywalker, Pants Elk)!!! It’s also nice to read the ones that say something like “Go and enjoy, you will never be the same and that’s a good thing.”
Note that in addition to requesting my virgin drink in Big Mango, I’ll not be surprised to receive a hazing of you bloggers accidentally spilling a bit of your beer on my lightweight dress pants, to spite me, haha. Look for my follow-up trip report entitled, “Upon the merits and demerits of touring BKK in lightweight dress pants”.
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=299236&CategoryID=90
Anyway, here is the boiled-down list of suggestions made so far:
* Stay away from tuk tuks and Khao San Road
* try not to fall in love with a bargirl
* Take Soi 4 as the epicentre of your base
* Bring a big box of condoms
* Claim your Bangkok Virgin shot at the Mango Bar
* Understand how she makes money and how much and use common sense
* Read Stephen Leather’s book “Private Dancer”
* If you want a pure dance club experience try the clubs at RCA
* If you want to go to a G-Club try The Sky on Sri Nakarin Road
* Swing by Starbuck’s Soi Lang Suan on Saturday or Sunday around 4PM
* Get a tune up and flush at The Orchid when you first get off the plane
* Online chatting is the business. Tagged is my weapon of choice
* Every newbie should go to a couple malls their first full day here
* Never, ever, ever, EVER commit yourself to one girl your first couple nights here
* Treat yourself to a massage at rachadapisek rd, take mrt to Huay kwang, 5-6pm
* Fave ‘fancy’ place to eat/drink in my opinion is Vertigo, top of the Banyan Tree hotel
* Don’t forget to see a Muay Thai fight
* Take cooking lessons
* Wat Traimit, the temple of the golden buddha, is a stunner
* Oh yeah and dont forget to go to Pattaya.At least two days
* There’s a really good Pharmacy by the corner of Sukhumvit and Soi 4
* At a Hotel don’t be shy about finding out and modifying their “guest” policy
* If you go to Patpong DO NOT go up any small stairways to 2nd floor bars!!!!
* If you have a quad bandand phone and it’s UNLOCKED, you can buy a Bangkok SIM at any 7-11
* The check bin is the root of many scams played in bars so keep an eye on it.
* Every BTS stop, near the exit, has a little stand with fresh juices.
* Walk slower and talk quieter
* For every battle hardened Patpong scam artist there are dozens of great people in Thailand
* Picture taking tip to impress the Thai ladies – overexpose them a stop or a half stop
* Take 2 SD cards, one is for the tourist pictures, one is for the Notty pictures
* Hotels - Dynasty Grand (not inn), President Solitare, Majestic Grand, S15 Hotel
* Just dont wear a beer-branded singlet. Please dont!
View all comments by naturalgame
Oh come on, this is just being cruel, misleading a newbie this way, if you guys are joking about not dressing well, try weaving some hint into your elaborate excursions into humor. We can’t read your minds, for Chrissake.
On the odd chance you’re actually serious, then that’s just lame. If you think you’re hardcore and get off on flouting Thai conventions and boast of getting away with it, it’s just as well you’re boasting to a newbie - anyone else will know you’re probably getting away with it only in your own imaginations. Dress down too much, and you’ll probably need a healthy layer of imagination between you and the reality on your arm. That Pattaya Ghost fellow said it so perfectly - such a simple point!
Crikey, all this juvenile boasting of “having game” and not needing to dress nice and conform to Thai mores, etc, explains so much about what I see happening with farang here! Scary shit! I just don’t get how people an be so dense. I shake my head. All this is assuming you people are serious - hopefully you aren’t, and in that case I only wish your tedious facetiousness was a bit clearer, and a bit more facetious.
Heh, I would not want to see the girl from Rainbow 1 anyone got paying 1 G looking scruffy!! But I’m sure I have, though, as I’m in R1 frequently. Yep, it’s a large stable, and more than few of these “lovelies” are rather toadish looking. Always wondered why they kept these toads on with the swans. Now I know. Apparently the mere fact that she comes from R1 is enough to make some think a toad is a swan. Well, yes, with enough imagination, and all that….
As a final conciliatory note, jeans, as long as they are nice and clean, are perfectly adequate. Dress pants are not necessary but prob. won’t hurt, and are better than scruffy jeans that don’t fit well.
Enjoy!
View all comments by Pierre
@Pierre: I was entirely serious, and we’re not talking about the toads. Perhaps it’s an age thing?
Yes, Thais put a lot of value on appearance. And yes, of course you should dress well for business meetings, dinner dates, etc and so on.
You really don’t need to wear Dress Pants to a brothel though.
Particularly when tourists are considered a “good catch” by the girls, as they’re likely to spend far more freely than the locals. What do tourists look like? Well, they tend to wear shorts…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Fair enough, if you’re entirely serious that’s all to the good. I have to disagree, though, and Pattaya Ghost expresses what I think is the situation much better. You want hot whores, dress better. Jeans are fine, though, if they’re nice.
Anywyas it’s all good - the OP will make up his own mind and no doubt we will all get a report.
View all comments by Pierre
On the whole shorts thing. Show some balls and take it to another level.
On lower suk you can pick up the arm sleeves that make it look like you are all tatted up. The chicks swoon over these things.
Fuck putting them on your arm.
Pick up some proper baggy cargo shorts. I get mine on the upper levels of MBK - buy 3 at a time and u get a free shag from the cashier in the changing room. Bring your own rubbers. Changing room is just a curtain so if she squeals while your big ass amulet is tapping her backside just remember everyone will know it is u.
Point is. Wear the arm sleeves on your legs. Shave em first for extra points.
U go strolling into that brothel, paragon for some, and u r done.
stand back. collect numbers.
View all comments by Tricycle
Someone should write a post about how to dress for success in BKK and watch it get more comments than columns on black pudding & potatoes, dodgy English teachers or knights in shining armor….
My comments were probably a bit oversimplified. As, with everything else, it’s never really one factor that determines success. As BBB pointed out, age has a great deal to do with it.
My comments, I beleive, reflect the majority of people in my age range (early 40s). ssB is near my age, but has a, um, unique, style and look that made me think he was much younger than he is. BBB is a just 30. Young Penfold is in his early 20s, if I recall. He’s also been known to say something witty from time to time.
So, yeah, if you’re 21, are built like a personal trainer and are funny, you could show up in just about anything and walk out with whatever you want — and have a great time.
BBB’s point of saying just point to the one you want and pay the bar is true. But my own feeling is that it doesn’t necessarily lead to a pleasureable evening. I’ve never pointed-and-gone in any gogo as I prefer to do a bit of interrogation first. Looks are a priority, but attitude is a must for me.
As for me, I’m not as thin as I once was or as young as I once was and I find that dressing a shde better gets me more positive attention. It works for me. And I do wear long pants that are not jeans at times, but it’s how you wear it that matters. I, myself, chuckled at