(Note this is related to Fresh Produce Shopping Part 2A-Going to the Library to Check Out Some Books and Night Crawlers, Bottom Feeders, Break in Jobs and the Fresh Produce Market)
Nowadays, it is oh so green, politically correct, and homo to be a Starbuck’s hater but I don’t’ give a shit about saving the world, am a conservative libertarian republican, love being heterosexual and I like Starbucks.
Something becomes big, corporate, and profitable for a reason and the reason is always the same. Something becomes big, corporate, and profitable when it supplies something people love at a price they are willing to pay.
Personally, I love McDonalds–maybe too much. The Big Mac, the Sausage McMuffin, Chicken McNuggets, and McDonald’s fries are f’ing delicious—and cheap. I’ll put them up against the menu at Nobu in a double blind taste test and bet on McDonald’s every time—as long as the tester has never tasted either before and has no cultural bias. Visit a high end Japanese restaurant and order the karage if you think crafting the recipe for McNuggets was easy.
The Colonel’s fried chicken really is “finger licking good.” I know the 11 herbs and spices are probably salt, pepper, etc. but the skin on some KFC f’ing tastes great. Order the fried chicken at Tokyo Joes Soi 22 to see how something as simple as coating a drumstick in flour and dropping it in a deep fryer can go really really wrong.
The profit margin on a $3 Starbucks might contain $2.75 of gross margin, but those who fixate on the coffee miss the point of Starbucks. Sure you could make the same cup of coffee at home for 25 cents but you wouldn’t get to drink it at the Starbucks and enjoy The Atmosphere.
When I see farangs slurping their $3 cup of Joe at the Starbucks on Sukhumvit Soi 3, 5 and 33 the word SUCKER pops into my head– clearly fresh off the boat tourists whose itinerary comes from The Lonely Planet, who will somehow end up wasting a day at the floating market buying worthless shit which wholesales at JJ market for 75% less, and who are truly clueless about Bangkok and what it has to offer.
What idiot pays $3 for a 25 cent cup of coffee when The Atmosphere is watching a bunch of big fat sweaty farangs pawing their greasy laptops, every cup of coffee comes with two big fat Aussie housewifes nattering on and on about how Thai girls are sluts and whores, and your personal space is constantly being invaded by pudgy white dudes putting their smelly dirty disgusting worn out oversize shoes on the coffee table?
If every Bangkok Starbucks were same same as the ones on Sukhumvit, I would hate Starbucks same same as all the hairy arm pitted, never take a shower, dreadlocked, moronic Green Peacers who rant about the coffee growers in rural bumfuck getting ripped by Starbucks paying market prices for their crop.
Which brings us to The Greatest Starbucks in The World—The Starbucks on Soi Lang Suan.
The first time I walked into Starbucks Soi Lang Suan it was a jaw dropping, eye opening, “What the Fuck?” moment. On any afternoon Starbucks Soi Lang Suan and the Girlpen at any of the upscale G-Clubs are indistinguishable and, of course, hanging out at Starbucks is waaaaay cheaper!
(see Dummies Guide to Banging G-Club Girls Part 1 and Dummies Guide to Banging G-Club Girls Part 2)
In fact, Starbucks Soi Lang Suan dominates the depopulated Girlpen of The Pent—more better looking girls and gives up a photo finish to the hourly coyote dancer review at The Sky on Sri Nakarin Rd.
Forget the fresh from the rice paddy, frequently drunk, absolutely no fashion sense, chocolate skinned, size 9 triple EEE club footed, scared up from multiple motorcycle crashes, loud crude and rude, had three babies by three different men, stretch marked, scamming GoGo girls of Cowboy and Nana. Starbucks Soi Lang Suan is populated with young, stylishly and elegantly dressed sets of Thai Uni girls and office workers internet surfing on the their cute laptops, puzzling over their economics/sociology textbook, daintily sipping/nursing their Mochalattes, and generally just looking cute, gorgeous, and available.
Many come alone and it is common to see a white skinned never exposed to direct sunlight obviously middle or upper class TG’s under age 25 dressed as if they were on the way to a gallery opening or hi soi cocktail party with a full makeup job, hairdo, real jewelry, and heels that match only one dress in the wardrobe, sit down alone, nurse a cappuccino for an hour, obviously hoping anything male, nice or even halfway decent would come up and chat with them and leave an hour later disappointed after no one approached them.
Personally, it is worth $3 to see some girls who take care of their skin, spend more than $5 a month on their makeup, use conditioner and shampoo when they wash their hair, who skillfully choose clothing the accentuates their positives and masks their negatives, who won’t leave the house wearing their shower flip flops, have properly manicured hands and feet that are painted to harmonize with their outfit and on whom you would be willing to lay 3 to 1 that their bra matches their panties which coordinates with their dress and shoes. Starbucks Soi Lang Suan is like being back in The World except the girls aren’t packing 40 lbs of lard, weren’t indoctrinated from birth with radical feminist drivel, and don’t shamelessly pitch the deal that giving up half your accumulated wealth and half your income for the rest of your life is worth 5 years of low grade infrequent sex, 24 hour henpecking and nagging, and having to share a bed with what in the dark is indistinguishable from a man sized Oscar Mayer Sausage.
And did I mention the lesbians?
editor’s note: Shelas is not closed. It is now the Quake Restaurant & Bar
Starbucks Soi Lang Suan is lesbian central with a greater concentration than anywhere except Shela’s (and I have been foiled twice trying to get into Shela’s because of their no man policy). There is inevitably at least one easily identifiable lesbian couple at Starbucks Soi Lang Suan and I don’t mean pairs of thick, crew cutted, Harley riding bull dyke lesbians seen in the San Francisco Gay Pride parade. I mean matched pairs of TG’s under 25—both slim but one typically with short hair wearing pants sans makeup and one mini skirted lipstick lesbian dressed to the nines, well made up, and hot as hell. Sitting in Starbucks Soi Lang Suan and watching the girl-girl affectionately stroke the boy-girls hair, hold the boy-girls hand, expertly quarter a muffin into bite sized bits and feed them to the boy-girl or cuddle up just like normal men and women do is as entertaining and cock raising as the first time seeing the lesbian show at Midnight and realizing that the girls are really really really licking each other’s nasty and not just faking it.
Of course, you can just enjoy the show included with your $3 cup of Joe at Starbucks Soi Lang Suan but some might wish to actually try to chat up some of the girls, share a $4 chocolate muffin, maybe get some phone numbers, and try to eventually get down and dirty with some of the Starbuck’s Soi Lang Suan cuties.
I’ll cut, paste, and edit the second half of Fresh Produce Part 2A for a little bit of guidance on how to open a conversation with a Thai girl in a public place. Of course, this isn’t the only way or the best way to open a conversation with a normal Thai girl but it is something to try that is low key, non-threatening, avoids major problems and works when you are first starting out and feeling your way to your own customized approach.
It also follows the methodology from the script from the second half of The Dummies Guide to Negotiating Price with TG Working Girls. You can start off following the advice given here, observe what works and what doesn’t and modify your approach until you have something that works for you.
I am still learning about normal Thai girls and what is normal and acceptable so think of the advice here as the first step to getting proficient at picking up normal Thai girls in public places.
When you have found a girl you would like to approach, sit down in the girls natural line of sight. Keep an eye on her out of the corner of your eye, don’t stare, and when she inevitably looks up, look at her, make eye contact and smile at her.
In Thailand, the vast majority of the time she will smile back. If she flashes you a smile that is the go signal. If her eyes slide off, she avoids direct eye contact, or she adopts defensive body language that is the stop signal.
If you get the stop signal, go back to your coffee, and pretend you weren`t just faced—no harm no foul.
If you get the go signal you can go over, introduce yourself, have a short chat with the girl, and try your luck.
When you approach a normal Thai girl being cognizant of cultural differences between Thailand and The World pays big dividends. What is acceptable when talking to a normal Thai girl is worlds apart from what goes on between farangs and working girls and there are considerable differences between acceptable behavioral norms in The World and Thailand.
These differences cause most western guys to make a few simple to avoid mistakes that needlessly drive down their success rate (defined as getting the girls phone number and getting her to meet you for coffee or lunch).
First, is dress. Thailand is a class society and normal Thai girls do not want to date down in class. A normal Thai girl with a university degree and an office job no matter how shitty the university and no matter how moronic the office job will avoid going out or being seen with an obvious Thai blue-collar guy. The typical farang on holiday outfit of cargo shorts, T-shirt with moronic slogan, and sandals with bare feet on display is a show stopper.
When you try to pick up normal Thai girls, you need to dress correctly. Functionally, this means business casual—slacks, a button down shirt, and dress shoes. Don’t underestimate the perceptiveness of normal Thai girls. They can tell the difference between an expensive pair of foreign made dress shoes and the 500THB clodhoppers sold at Lotus Tesco, can spot a cheap knock off Rolex and recognize the real thing, notice if your pants and shirt are the right size, made of premium fabric, and is name brand, and they notice whether your clothes are neat, pressed, freshly laundered, and new rather than worn out, wrinkled, stained, and threadbare. Personal grooming counts too. Normal Thai girls will notice whether your hair is freshly cut, your fingernails are taken care of, whether you shaved today, and most importantly whether you are clean and don’t smell.
Jeans and a casual shirt are also OK, but again don’t underestimate the perceptiveness of normal Thai girls. They will notice the difference between name brand foreign jeans and the cheap knockoffs from Pratunam, name brand sneakers and the cheap shit sold in the street stalls of Sukhumvit, and whether your clothing is new, freshly laundered, ironed, and generally evinces signs that you have some money.
Second, is talking too loud. Farangs frequently talk way to loud. Next time you are in a Starbucks, restaurant, bar, etc. take a moment to listen to the Thais talking. You never (except from the Issan GoGo girls) hear a normal Thai girl talking loudly in public. It is considered rude, crude, crass, and impolite, and more importantly a sign of low class. You never see and hear a Thai walking down the mall yelling into their cellphone so loudly that bystanders can follow their conversation. In The World talking loudly is considered boorish but in Thailand it is a major social faux paux. In public and in conversation, speaking softly and politely will get you much farther than yelling and screaming.
Third, is asking direct personal questions. The normal GoGo girl interrogatory is unacceptable between Thai strangers. Avoid asking direct personal questions such as how old are you, where did you go to school, do you have kids, etc. Between Thai strangers, this is considered inappropriate, rude, and impolite. The normal Thai way of finding out personal information about a person is to ask a third party you are friends with.
Mainly this is a function of the Thai concern with face. Asking direct personal questions creates the danger that you might hit on something embarrassing and force a loss of face.
This does not mean you cannot find out a lot about a Thai person in polite conversation just that you must gather the information indirectly, by asking obtuse questions, and by inference and deduction. Personally, I enjoy trying to “read” a person from their dress, mannerisms, and speech.
Fourth, ditch the ridiculous Masters of the Universe attitude commonly sported by legends only in their own mind expats.
How many times have you seen low life, no life, expat losers from the larger more competitive outside world prancing around Thailand acting as if they were Masters of the Universe? How often do you see these low life, low class, self anointed blowhards frequently and loudly pontificating on their own superiority and their contempt for everything Thai and didn’t know whether to toss your cookies or just bust a gut laughing at their ridiculous airs.
The Master’s of the Universe routine is not going to get you laid by normal Thai girls. Give a little respect to Thailand, Thai culture, Thai religion, and Thai behavioral norms. Not only is it the civilized thing to do as a guest in a foreign country but if you dropped the attitude you might actually learn something. Being open minded and showing a little cultural respect will also dramatically increase your prospects of getting laid by the beautiful graceful charming enchanting sexy stylish painfully cute babes whose country and culture you evince interest and respect for. Frequently doing the right thing costs you but in this case doing the right thing will also get you laid.
Finally, be sophisticated, subtle, and clever when you dish out the inevitable compliments. Don’t overdo it. A little bit goes a long way. You want to say something nice about the girl but you want it to be sincere and believable.
There is a Thai expression Bpaak Wan which literally translated means “Sweet Mouth”. Compliments eliciting the “Sweet Mouth” response are compliments that failed. “Sweet Mouth” translated to English is an accusation that you made up something nice just to get into her pants. Of course, this is exactly what you probably did, but the “Sweet Mouth” rejoinder, means your compliment bounced off without having the desired effect. Your compliment was a failure and, in fact, you should be a little red faced at your sophomoric attempt.
When constructing a compliment, it is useful to keep in mind the Thai Girl Hierarchy of Desirability. The hierarchy is based on 4 common Thai words.
- Suphaap-polite
- Nareek-delightful
- Suay-beautiful
- Priaw-slang for sexy
In The World, women would welcome any of these adjectives but in Thailand things are not so straightforward.
The pleasure a Thai girl gets from being found polite and delightful seems inane to most farangs but this is because the English words polite and delightful fail to capture the full meaning of the Thai words Suphaap and Nareek.
Being delightful or Nareek implies that the girls’s personality, demeanor, and the way she interacts brings pleasure to those around her. A girl who is beautiful might bring pleasure to those who look at her but a girl who is Nareek is like a ray of sunshine on a cold wet gloomy day that warms the heart of everyone who interacts with her. Think of your mother who is always there in times of trouble, never thinks ill of you no matter how bad you fuck up, and will always love you no matter how low you fall in life. The feeling towards your mother is the feeling a Nareek girl induces in those around her. Who wouldn’t like to be Nareek?
Being polite or Suphaap has a wider more sophisticated meaning than the simple English word polite. Being Suphaap means that you accept and harmonize with the structure of the universe around you. It is a Buddhist thing where you accept the order of the universe, your place in it, and respect the place of others. Being happy spending your life in harmony with the world around you and content with your allotted place in it rather than spending your life scratching and clawing your way sometimes unsuccessfully to more money and status is hard for most farangs to wrap their head around but this a core tenet of the Buddhist philosophy most Thais buy into. Being called Suphaap or polite acknowledges reaching a higher level of enlightenment sort of like becoming a Zen or Kung Fu master after a life of devoted study.
So if you can craft and convincingly deliver a compliment that implies you find a normal Thai girl is Suphaap and/or Nareek you will be greeted by a warm heartfelt smile that will warm your own heart and more importantly advance your nefarious cause.
What is surprising is calling or implying a Thai girl is beautiful and sexy is sometimes not welcome and can land you in hot water.
The problem with complimenting a Thai girl’s physical appearance is frequently she won’t believe you and you will be marked as a “Sweet Mouth”. Thai standards of beauty differ widely from standards in The World. No matter how beautiful a Thai girl looks to you and your farang friends, and no matter how eloquently you express yourself, she is unlikely to believe you because in her heart of hearts and more importantly to most Thai men she is not beautiful.
No matter how beautiful the prototypical dark Issan girls appear to you, to Thais they are considered ugly and not matter how eloquently you wax on their charms, you will never convince them otherwise. Dark skin, wide noses, apple cheeks, and diminutive stature rule out “beauty” for most Issan girls.
Calling an Issan girl “beautiful” is usually a waste of time.
Among Hi and middle soi Thai, the well regarded ghostly white complexion and skinny pointed noses just look unhealthy and unnatural to most farangs.
Calling or implying a normal Thai girl is “priaw” or sexy can land you in hot water and should be avoided at all costs. Truth and reality are worlds apart when it comes to sex, Thai girls, and polite Thai society. The truth is that many Thai girls are sexually active before marriage and also remarkably open minded about it. In my experience, normal Thai girls are more experienced, more open minded, and more skilled than their comparable counterparts in The World. The reality is that polite Thai society demands that normal Thai girls maintain the illusion of being sexually inexperienced virgins.
In the intelligence business this is called Plausible Deniability. Plausible Deniability is the ability to plausibly deny knowledge of something. Everyone knows something is probably true but if the evidence is not incontrovertible it can be denied or ignored with impunity. Sexually active experienced normal Thai girls must be able to plausibly deny that they have had multiple sex partners.
If a Thai husband has a mia noi, it is OK if the wife can ignore her existence or plausibly deny it to her friends and family, i.e. as long as the mia noi is not paraded around in public. The mia noi has an apartment and all the cavorting takes place there or on vacations in foreign countries—not at public restaurants, malls, and discos where friends and acquaintances of the wife can spot her.
If a Thai girl has had 5 boyfriends and banged everyone one of them silly it is OK as long as she can plausibly deny it when being courted. If the boyfriends were never brought home to meet the parents and extended family they never existed and can be plausibly denied. That is why public displays of affection are frowned upon in Thailand. If a girl is seen hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. in public it means that everyone knows she has a boyfriend and they are physically intimate. Once spotted in a public display of affection a normal Thai girl can no longer plausibly deny the existence of a boyfriend and potential sex partner.
In Thailand, Plausible Deniability in general is much easier to achieve than in The World. With no accessible searchable public records, the limited number of nicknames, the ability to change one’s nickname, and the general lack of geographic mobility, by simply changing their nicknames and/or moving most Thais can wipe clean the slate and escape even the most heinous and grizzly past.
Calling a normal Thai girl “priaw” or sexy implies that she is a sexual being and/or sexually active. Any discussion alluding to a normal Thai girls sexual life is normal Thai girl kryptonite. If you do it expect to get the cold shoulder.
When you first talk to a normal Thai girl, I suggest you be polite, speak softly, smile a lot, lay a nice compliment on her and ask for her phone number. Thai girls are pretty liberal handing out their phone numbers. Most of the time a normal Thai girl will give you her phone number simply so you don’t lose face by being faced.
Rather than calling her, I suggest a couple of hours after you’ve gotten a girls number shoot her an SMS. Something simple, non-aggressive, and non-threatening like “It was nice to meet you.” If she is interested she will SMS back. That is the go signal to call her.
If you don’t get a return SMS, this means she is not interested and gave you her phone number out of suphaapness.
One advantage of this approach is that it saves face for everyone if there is no connection. The girl doesn’t have to be rude or impolite if she is not interested. She just ignores your SMS and no one has to get their feelings hurt or be mean. It is the kinder gentler Thai way of getting turned down.
When you call a normal Thai girl and try to arrange a date, I suggest you ask to meet for lunch, dinner, or coffee in a public place and let her know that it is all right to bring one or two friends. Avoid anyplace near Sukhumvit or Patpong. Siam Paragon and Central World are good places for a first meet and greet.
Many normal Thai girls are too afraid or too shy to meet a strange farang alone but if they can bring a
friend for support and protection everything is copasetic.
There is nothing girls like more than sitting around talking about guys they met and bringing along a friend or a couple of friends and being able to gossip about it afterwards is an almost irresistible temptation for most TG’s. I joke with TG friends that for every minute they actually spend with a guy they spend 5 minutes talking about it with their gal pals. IMHO the ratio is not far from reality.
Don’t expect too much from the first meeting. You are just going to talk, give out some biographical information, let the TG and her friend(s) get a look at you, and see if there is common interest and attraction.
If you pass the first date exam, you can call her and try to get her to go out again and possibly alone. At this point we have reached the limit of this essay and I leave developments beyond the first date to a possible future post.
Spot on re: big fat Aussie housewives. Budget airlines behold a hidden curse. The unleashing of our surburban trash on South East Asia.
View all comments by rootrat
What makes this advice any different from (say) the advice given by a father to his son in small-town U.S.A.?
If you want to date a nice girl:
- Dress nice
- Act nice
- Ask nice
This is universal stuff, surely? The whole point of Bangkok is you can meet bad girls, dirty girls, girls who put out even before a first date. Okay, you’ve told us which Starbucks to hang in (I’ll pass, thanks, politically correct eco-homo that I am), but apart from that … ? Help me here - am I missing something? Apart from the java-joe lesbo-show?
View all comments by Pants Elk
I was actually quite interested in this piece until I got the the paragraph where I was told to wear ’slacks and a button down shirt and dress shoes’ That was priceless. I thought you were serious for a minute.
Perhaps I can grab some tips on where to buy a nice smoking jacket and pipe for when I want to pick up some minge at my local som-tam stand?
Ill stick with my ripped jeans, tatty canvas sandals and retro t-shirts. Works just fine for me
View all comments by Young Penfold
I don’t hate Starbucks, just that they don’t have any stores near me anymore. They all shut down. Apparently it had something to do with them being shit.
View all comments by rootrat
Can someone wake me up when BBK’s finished ?
View all comments by jack dawson
Just out of interest, BBK, how many Normal Thai Girls have you “banged” after following your own advice re Quality Footwear? I only ask because I want to know.
View all comments by Pants Elk
“normal Thai girls are more experienced, more open minded, and more skilled than their comparable counterparts in The World.”
No way this comes from first hand experience. There’s just no fucking way. Period
View all comments by mr right
Hmmmmm. Seems a bit too long and doesn’t really say very much.
Perhaps the point about hunting for girls in Starbucks could have been expanded to include other potential pick-up places?
But the point about moving in for a chat if receiving a reciprocal smile is good advice for anyone who feels shy about talking to non working girls.
View all comments by Nok Opayop
Pants… Can you please sum this posting up into something that I’ll understand?
View all comments by Daywalker
Hey Kenny, I don’t remember discussing my three ex wifes with you.
“big fat Aussie housewifes nattering on and on about how Thai girls are sluts and whores”
“packing 40 lbs of lard, weren’t indoctrinated from birth with radical feminist drivel, and don’t shamelessly pitch the deal that giving up half your accumulated wealth and half your income for the rest of your life is worth 5 years of low grade infrequent sex, 24 hour henpecking and nagging, and having to share a bed with what in the dark is indistinguishable from a man sized Oscar Mayer Sausage”
“fresh from the rice paddy, frequently drunk, absolutely no fashion sense, chocolate skinned, size 9 triple EEE club footed, scared up from multiple motorcycle crashes, loud crude and rude, had three babies by three different men, stretch marked, scamming GoGo girls of Cowboy and Nana”
View all comments by docsmith
Pants Elk, Jack Dawson, and Young Penfold,
Does it ever occur to you that there is a universe of girls outside of the 30 or so GoGo bars of Nana, PatPong, and Soi Cowboy?
That there are fun and beautiful girls you could hook up with, enjoy yourself with, and maybe learn something from besides the girls hanging around Nana parking lot, The Thermae, and the street stalls of Sukhumvit after 2AM?
That it might be worth the time and effort to drag your asses out of the dirty, Euro trash infested, smells like urine, venues that cater to farangs looking for cheap easy sex —not to denigrate cheap easy sex but don’t you yearn to mix it up once in awhile?
That Thailand is a wonderful, whacky, place full of new things to discover, new things to enjoy, new people to meet, etc. and that staying on the farang reservation means you spent a lot of time and money coming to Thailand but are missing out on 90% of the fun and action?
That maybe showing a little humility, evincing a little curiosity, and dropping the Master’s of the Universe attitude will open the doors to making friends and meeting Thai girls that maybe won’t go home the first night you meet them and let you ass rape them for $20 but in whose long term company you might experience different but just as satisfying pleasure from?
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. If one thinks patronizing G-Clubs and banging G-Girls is takes too much time and effort then taking the time and effort trying to meet and bang normal Thai girls is going to be way over the top.
We all know how to barfine and bang the girls of Nana, Patpong, and Soi Cowboy.
And we have all enjoyed barfining and banging the girls of Nana, Patpong, and Soi Cowboy.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind some discussion on the Blog of how to bang to other 24 million Thai girls in Thailand.
A lot of the regular posters have lived and been around Thailand a long time and represent at vast storehouse of knowledge and experience.
Instead of all the knee jerk negativity and hate, why don’t we pool our knowledge, share our experiences and figure out how to bang all the normal Thai girls?
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
welcome back Kenny - there’s a lot of the old BBK in there but you seem to have adopted a slightly coarser style? Bit of swearing - not like you - did you hang out with YP?
Anyway - I read this one to the end and learnt a couple of things (even though I had to wade through the rest) so more power to your elbow - not as creepy as the library one
View all comments by doctorbond
I enjoyed this piece. However, to get the reader’s attenton, it could have used some blurry covert mobile phone photos of some of the supposedly hot university and office girls that infest that Soi Lang Suan Starbucks. Preferably upskirts.
View all comments by gavinmac
Sharing the knowledge is cool…… but as my mom says ‘theres nothing worse than a know-all that knows fuck-all’
The negativity and hate stems from your unbearable air of superiority - please tell us how long you have LIVED in Bangkok and not just HOLIDAYED here. And how much Thai you speak? I think we’d all love to know
For your information, my list of regular girls I socialise with/bang range from uni girl(s), a Thai Air stewardess, a master of ceromonies, make-up counter girl, an art teacher, hotel receptionist, a purchasing manager for central, computer programmer etc etc. the list goes on, so my horizons are broad enough.
I even play snap with street whores too, with amusing and sexy consequences
View all comments by Young Penfold
Young Penfold,
I know you enjoy the blog so I respectfully ask that you think about what you are doing.
Do you want the blog to become a forum for a bunch of haters trashing each other?
Where anyone who has anything useful, interesting, or entertaining to share doesn’t bother anymore?
Where every contribution is met by a barrage of foul mouthed personal invective?
Where every comment is answered with a volley of insults and character attacks?
Where all that is left is a small crew writing nasty shit about each other?
Think of all the people who would like to contribute to the Blog but they see that whenever anyone tries to contribute anything, the same little gang of haters tries to administer a verbal beating and as a result nobody bothers anymore.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
BBK I enjoyed this one. I have been in bkk for 3 years and found it to be interesting. Thanks.
View all comments by jay
This whole piece is interesting.
Outside of the hooker seen is Thailand a better or easier place to get laid?
Are strange Thai women more approachable then a western women?
I never really thought so. Cant see why they would be. If anything the conservative natural of Thai culture would make it harder to approach people I have never met and of no reason to talk to.Not an expert just a thought really.
View all comments by mr right
masters of the universe movie sucked balls
nice write up bbk. like dr bond, i detected a subtle change in writing style, more earthy if you will.
many a time have i shook my head (in disbelief and regret) when i saw a miniskirted uni girl shacked up with a lil tomboy.
out of mild curiosity, i would like to know if you have actually managed to close the deal at starbucks lang suan after obtaining digits.
next topic of of your ‘How to’ series should be:
‘How to pick up Chula girls that skip class and go shopping, in the Siam Paragon foodhall and later bang them on the promise of purchasing them that Marc Jacobs handbag that they were eyeing off earlier that day’
lookin forward to your next one
dw
View all comments by dek waaan
BBK, my comments are hardly Chang-strength. More Spy. You still didn’t answer my questions:
- Aren’t the techniques of dating (DW, see my bullet-points above for comprehensible precis of BBK’s piece) nice girls pretty universal? Do they merit a blog piece?
- How many Normal Thai Girls have you taken from Starbucks and Banged? (a: A whole bunch, I really can’t remember. b: two or three, but they were fantastic! c: one, but she was really fantastic! d: er, none yet, but I have a few numbers I’m texting …)
There’s also something going on in this piece that hasn’t been mentioned. You want to meet Normal Thai Girls in order to Bang them. To achieve this, you adopt numerous stratagems to distance yourself from the sex-tourists you describe with such venom.
Get my point?
If you want to meet Normal Thai Girls because you like chatting in Starbucks, fine. Maybe there’s a chance of a date, dining and dancing the night away. All very fine. But you want to meet Normal Thai Girls to Bang them. In what way does this make you any better than a sweaty, potbellied, sandal-wearing sex tourist? And in what way does it make you worse?
A whole bunch of questions for you to avoid there, BBK.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Sad people.
View all comments by Oneditorial
very sad. “how to appear like a normal guy so you can fuck over a naive, immature thai girl”
View all comments by jonbanger
pooying thai charlart mak meun ling.
View all comments by dek waan
well well,a typical mix of reply s as usual.it does make you wonder if its worth posting anything though-im not a pollished writer as some ,but every piece seems to be attacked like a sport to some people.
bbk i thought it was pretty good ,and im like you-a bit tired of the low class girls-sure they can be fun for 1-2 nights but there is always something missing -brains-and a dress/style sense,and when you meet a nice woman who dresses with some style,leaves the isaan farm girls for dead in every aspect.unfortunatly there are not too many here on koh samui,but last week when i was in bbk -and dressed in smart clothes-yes with a button down shirt and nice shoes i did manage to meet a nice lady in the platinum shopping centre and after some polite conversation and some fun shopping together followed by several hours of drinking/dancing ,have a fantastic couple of hours in bed -and yes her bra and nickers were colour co-ordinated with her shoes.
so being dressed nice and being polite ,got me a great afternoon/night with wicked sex all for the cost of a drink or two-she even bought her share of those as well.
very different than a night at soi cowboy -im my mind more fun and not knowing if you are going to scew her till much later in the evening is more fun too.next time im in bbk she will be my first number i ring up for sure.
View all comments by zepplin
Loved the post BBK - Very well written!
View all comments by JustinCider
Kenny,
It’s funny that for as many times as you’ve been openly attacked and insulted by commenters on the blog that the comments from PE, Penfold and JD were the one’s that evoked this passionate and argumentative response from you.
Pants Elk asked, I think, a legitimate question.
Young Penfold said, “I was actually quite interested in this piece until…” He apparently stopped reading when he read the words ‘button down shirt’ since your very next paragraph went on to say the same thing that YP wrote in his comment.
Jack Dawson was simply doing what he does, and I think we are all richer for having him around.
Still, I thought your response, while perhaps strong in the circumstances, was useful, concise and made the points well.
The second exchange (between you and Young Penfold) I think gets right to the heart of the matter.
YP complains openly about the thing that divides the responses to your blogs. The people that enjoy them appreciate the information they contain, the different look at Bangkok that they represent, and the spirit in which they are offered.
The people that don’t enjoy them object to the professorial tone, the implied condescension, and your absolute refusal to offer any bona fides for why readers should take your advice. In other words, you write textbook-style essays instead of life-experience stories, and the result for detractors is that you sound like you’re setting yourself up as an expert, but offering no personal info to back up that position.
So we see Penfold asking questions which — to him — are legitimate. He wants you to explain your Bangkok experience. Who are you? Do you speak Thai? do you actually have success with your “how to” methods? and so on.
Honestly, I understand the frustration of readers who react negatively to your post. It’s the old maxim, “Those who can, do… those who can’t, teach.”
In the face of your ongoing refusal to offer the slightest bit of evidence about WHY people should accept what you write, I think you can expect an ongoing assault from commenters who feel condescended to by your style of writing. I think you are unique among this particular group of bloggers in writing about Bangkok but never writing about yourself.
It’s a decision that is yours to make, but one that has it’s consequences. You will ALWAYS get questions from people asking the question, “Why should I believe you?” because you give them no reason to.
I agree with you that it’s difficult to have a community blog if people are scared to write for fear of being attacked.
And yet, I think your own experience is not a common one.
Anyone who writes a blog has to be prepared for disagreement and even criticism. Anything less would be unrealistic.
A quick glance at the list above tells me that I have 24 blogs on this site (with number 25 appearing this week). As you indicated, every time I write one I hold my breath and wait for the attacks.
I have had people disagree with me, call me naive and laugh at me for my contributions, but I’ve never suffered “foul mouthed personal invective, a volley of insults, character attacks, or a crew writing nasty shit” about me.
This was your thirtieth blog on this site, and perhaps the effect is simply cumulative, because you’ve taken more than your fair share of shit from people, but — honestly — Penfold’s outburst aside, there’s not much in the way of anything personal about the criticism.
The heart of the issue from the ’small crew’ of people who are taking you on seems to be encapsulated fairly well by the single idea of bon fides. No one writes a text book or a ‘how to’ book without offering a personal biography or a CV of some sort to establish their expertise in what they are writing about. There’s a really really good reason for that. No one will buy a ‘how to’ book unless the author can establish his credibility.
You have your own reasons, I’m sure, for not offering your “Bangkok CV” to establish credibility, but as long as you refuse to talk about your personal experiences in Bangkok then you’ll face a group of detractors who simply won’t buy what you’re selling.
You seem to think that a small group of ‘haters’ is stunting the discussion of Bangkok beyond Soi 4, Soi Cowboy and Patpong, and to an extent I agree.
But I think you need to come to grips with the idea that you share some culpability in the goings-on here. You’ve written 30 pieces for this site. Thirty times you have gotten the same feedback… too long, doesn’t say enough, doesn’t give any personal reason to believe you, has a tone that is superior and condescending… yet for the thirtieth time you have offered up the exact same thing.
They tell me that Einstein defined ‘insanity’ as doing the same thing the same way but expecting a different result. I don’t know if it’s insane, but to continue writing “Dummie’s Guides” and “How to” manuals in your style and to expect a different result from readers is simply not realistic.
Some people love your blogs, some people hate them.
I know you personally, and I enjoy going out with you to many different venues because you have an open attitude about Bangkok. I know how long you’ve lived in Bangkok and how much Thai you speak. I see how you interact with girls and what you are like around them.
But as long as you don’t want to share this kind of information on the blog, you’ll face the questions from certain readers… questions that I see as legitimate, but which you increasingly see as attacks.
It’s a public forum and the public will speak. I suspect that your attempts to respond but never answer specific questions will result in greater and greater frustration on both sides. My personal suggestion is not to answer at all rather than trying to cherry-pick the questions you want to discuss and those you don’t, because it makes it appear as though you CAN’T answer well, rather than that you don’t want to. You’ve written a well-organized and well crafted blog… let it speak for itself. You don’t really need to defend it.
If it wasn’t frustrating you, I wouldn’t even discuss it, but your two comments above are clear signs that you’re chafing. Something needs to change.
Pants Elk, Penfold, BBB: I wonder who you’re writing the comments for now? Are you adding to the blog in a positive way, or are you just entertaining yourselves by sniping at BBKs heels?
He’s certainly right that people get scared to offer blogs. From time to time commenters say that they have thought about writing a blog, but when they read the negative comments they realize that they don’t want to subject themselves to it.
You guys have had plenty of time by now to make your point with BBK.
Maybe it’s time to give it a rest.
Many readers like his submissions. When you see his name on a blog, why not just pass it by and leave it for others to read?
Community blogs require a community.
Love,
Werewolf
View all comments by Werewolf
As far as negativity shown towards posts on this blog, let’s be fair it’s mostly just with BBK’s post. So, I would like to thank BBK for being the lightening rod for the Blog. As a poster here I’m happy that the likes of Pants Elk with his endless sharp wit and sarcasm (see, I can be sarcastic too) are busy feeding on your cadaver while the rest of us are spared. Now that I mention this of course I’m sure the lions will save some appetite for my next post.
As for this post, I will add some negativity and positivity. First the negative, I fell asleep once during the reading (although, only once might be a positive). I also found your use of commas unbearable. Believe me, I suck at writing and for me to notice there must be something there. For instance:
“Forget the fresh from the rice paddy, frequently drunk, absolutely no fashion sense, chocolate skinned, size 9 triple EEE club footed, scared up from multiple motorcycle crashes, loud crude and rude, had three babies by three different men, stretch marked, scamming GoGo girls of Cowboy and Nana. Starbucks Soi Lang Suan is populated with young, stylishly and elegantly dressed sets of Thai Uni girls and office workers internet surfing on the their cute laptops, puzzling over their economics/sociology textbook, daintily sipping/nursing their Mochalattes, and generally just looking cute, gorgeous, and available.
Many come alone and it is common to see a white skinned never exposed to direct sunlight obviously middle or upper class TG’s under age 25 dressed as if they were on the way to a gallery opening or hi soi cocktail party with a full makeup job, hairdo, real jewelry, and heels that match only one dress in the wardrobe, sit down alone, nurse a cappuccino for an hour, obviously hoping anything male, nice or even halfway decent would come up and chat with them and leave an hour later disappointed after no one approached them.”
My brain hurts just reading these over again.
On the positive side, I enjoy every one of your posts and always learn something from them (with the exception being the creepy library post of course). You also creatively come up with new terminology. Masters of the Universe was my fav this time.
I wish I could contribute some tips on picking up a “normal” girl but the pursuit has no interest to me. I’ve evolved way past that and have no desire dealing with the crap that comes along with a normal girl. Also, how would I get rid of her in the morning? Handing her 2000 baht just wouldn’t do the trick.
View all comments by pmmp
G’day guys,
Just wanted to say I love this site ever since I stumbled upon it only a short week ago(upon returning from only my 2nd time to LOS). The submissions have been totally entertaining and extremely informative. If only I had stumbled upon it before my 2 short trips, would have made for an even more enjoyable trip. Anyway sorry for dribbling as only a excited newbie can, but I think Kenny did a great job(imho, which counts for jack shit here, hehe)any info on how to get the most value of my holiday/experiences in Thailand is much appreciated.
Anyway I love you guys and this honest/open forum, keep up the great work, hopefully I can catch up with a few of you guys at the Big Mango in a few months time. And I agree with Kenny in saying that we should unite in the common cause! “To bang as many beautiful and delightful Thai chicks as we can”.
Thanks for your time. Cheers
View all comments by BkkBlues
@WW: Whilst that comment was almost as long as the article, you’ve essentially hit the nail on the head. Just with a very long hammer…
I stayed out of this one simply because there is nothing to gain by repeating the same exchange over and over again (Einstein had a point).
If you’re going to present yourself as an expert, you need to establish your credentials - particularly when the real “experts” find themselves disagreeing so completely with your findings.
ie. Address the fact that people who have lived and worked here for years if not decades, who are fluent in the language and who have worked, socialised and slept with hundreds of Thais, disagree with you. What do you know that they don’t? Or rather, why should the audience believe you rather than them?
Secondly, address those clamouring for a success rate. I might recommend Lolita’s, to pluck an example from thin air, because if you’ve got 700 baht in your pocket you’re guaranteed a BJ. 100% success rate.
If I were to recommend a good pick-up joint for “good” girls, I would feel like I was cheating my audience unless I included details along similar lines: for example, I’ve been to location x 15 times, got 7 girls’ phone numbers, and bedded 3 of them.
I badgered BBK incessantly about this on the uni piece, when he proclaimed Ramkamhaeng Uni library as a fertile bed of potential bedmates. Eventually, he tacitly admitted to having had precisely zero success in bedding girls that he’d met there. This is the information that allows the reader to decide whether the advice is worthwhile.
To address the article, isn’t there a slight problem with chasing lesbians? In that they, by definition, aren’t particularly interested in sleeping with men?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
P.S
Also wanted to say to all you guys living in the LOS , “You lucky f*#@ bastards, (I want to join in), shouldn’t hear any bloody whinging coming from ya”.
Thanks again
View all comments by BkkBlues
I make the comments I make here, WW, because I want to know the answers to some questions. Nowhere do I snipe at BBK, criticise his writing style, whatever. He raises some very interesting questions - at least for me - but they may not be the questions he’s interested in answering.
The most interesting question (again, for me) is the one that arises from his incessant promotion of “Champagne sex” with “experts”. He likes g-clubs, Starbucks, the university library. He likes pale-skinned girls with matching collar and cuffs. He admires what he sees as the Japanese approach to picking up whores. Everything, in short, that avoids getting down and dirty in the sex industry that Bangkok so generously provides.
Fine. Good for him. Room for everyone here. But his aim is to “Bang” Normal Thai Girls. Not to get to know them, maybe marry one - Bang them. To repeat my question - in what way does his “sophisticated”, button-down, stealth-mode approach make him better than the ordinary sex tourist that he evidently despises? And it what way does it make him worse?
Since he’s not about to answer that one anytime soon, let me answer for him. He’s a sex tourist, but also a snob. Snobbism is at the heart of his attitude and his blog pieces. No big deal, mai ben rai. Doesn’t affect me one way or the other. Although he might at least own up to it - it could establish a sympathetic tone for him. But I do find his penchant for furtively hanging around the Uni library, or nursing a semi in Starbucks while eyeing the lesbians, creepy. I do. And I find the stereotypical slob of a sex tourist likeable in comparison. Sex is a sweaty, dirty business (at least when I do it), and buying a hooker is a basic human contract. He may pay differently, but his money-shot orgasm is exactly the same as that of the fifty-something grey-haired red-faced farang (uh … that’s me, folks) in a short-time hotel.
It’s not his credibility that bothers me (although I do seem to remember him eventually ‘fessing up to a Zero score when pressed about his success rate in another post), it’s his squeamishness.
View all comments by Pants Elk
BBB: “…Just with a very long hammer…”
Well, when you’ve got a very long hammer you might as well use it
View all comments by Werewolf
BBK, can I ask how old you are ?
Because I suspect most of the people reading (and replying to) this blog would belong to a demographic group a bit too old for the average uni/office girl at starbucks (or uni library).
If you are in your mid/late twenties your advice might work, but at my age I would feel a little bit creepy with “non professional” girls of uni age!
“How to meeet and bang normal Thai ladies 30yo ” might be more relevant to me !!
View all comments by Mike
Kenny’s posts are always a good read. His observations are often spot on but I suspect that his “good girls” advice is based on aspirations rather than real life experience. When I try to visualize what he might look like in real life, I’m thinking Dustin Hoffman in Rainman.
My favorite Kenny piece was “Fresh Ideas About How to Really Really Really Have Fun in Thailand.” In it, he describes how he brings girls back to a room decked out like a porn version of Ghostbusters - a sexual workshop bristling with power wands and penetrators plugged into a 220v supply. If I were a bargirl and the door clicked shut behind me, I’d be having a fucking panic attack.
Keep the articles coming, Kenny. You’re a genius - in a Silence of the Lambs kind of way.
View all comments by Eniac
I’m usually pretty quick to step up to defend BBK. He’s correct that too much personal criticism can dissuade others (and maybe even himself) from contributing further. Having said that, I can’t really stand up for this particular piece for the reasons WW and BBB brought up as well as different tone/language of the piece noted by DocBond and others.
As someone who is getting tired of chasing the P4P, I was eager to get real tips on how to approach those lovelies you see in Starbucks or elsewhere. (I don’t drink coffee, so that Starbucks thing could be a problem…) Yes, as Pants Elk said, the problem of just walking up to strange (and younger, slimmer) girls is a universal problem. But I do beleive there are some Thai cultural considerations that I could be illuminated on.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I found those tips here. What I did get from the piece was a definite negative vibe, some condescenion and a few things I simply deem unbelievable.
My biggest problem is the way BBK refers to both P4P girls and those who chose to play with them. I don’t think it’s necessary to insult working girls 11 times in one sentence just to make the “good” girls better. I think both have qualities people find attractive ad it’s not an either/or situation. One can have both.
(FULL DISCLSURE: Yes, in fact, I did some of this in a comment on my peice today, but it was done for comic effect. BBK’s comments seem very sincere, and bitter at that.)
Likewise BBK, portraying those who simply choose to chase the go-go girls — and for me and others it is a conscious choice — serves only to make you seem superior to us when, as some have noted, your stated goal is far from noble. Some might see it that you’re simply too cheap to score pussy the easy way. It’s also possible to read into it that you’re simply out for the conquest and have no actual interest in a serious relationship with any of these young girls.
As a whole, this piece comes off quite a bit more angry, bitter and defensive than prior posts and, frankly, it doesn’t suit you.
As for the advice, I concur that knowing if your tactics actually worked would lend them a great deal more credibility. I have my doubts that it does, particularly as the guys stalking the Starbucks girls get older.
The one thing I positively doubt, however, is that there’s only one way to dress, one way to act and one thing to say to make inroads. As with Young Penfold, the “slacks, a button down shirt, and dress shoes” was a show stopper for me. Likewise, the emphasis on name brands left me thinking “if these girls actually ARE checking brand names and dismissing those without tags, then I’m not really interested anyway.”
I don’t beleive either to be true.
Friday I did some shopping to get some clothes before heading out to Pattaya’s Fashion Club G-club. I did, in fact, buy a pair of nice slacks, but with no brand name apparent. (590 baht). I splurged and spent 1,100 baht on a shirt, It was a gray, knit v-neck. Elastic waist and meant not to be tucked in.
I ran into three women I knew before i got to the club — one shop onwer about 40ish, a cashier and one working girl — and all used the same thing: Handsome. Smart. As in smart dress.
My experience is girls want “smart” more than “business casual.” My usual uniform is black or gray stonewashed jeans, black shirt, worn out (not tucked), and leather shoes. Seems to work just about everywhere.
Grooming? I think it’s all important, but I seriously dougt they’re checking your manicure before deciding whether to have a muffin with you in Starbucks.
The advice that follows that, particularly what questions or words are no-nos (and the sweet mouth compliments) I found useful. Thank you.
Again, the post is a good skeleton, but the connecting tissue weakens the entire body. I find it unlikely I will visit that Starbucks or follow any of the tips to try to pick up good girls, however. Unless I had some account on whether it’s actually works the majroity of the time, if at all.
View all comments by The Ghost
The Ghost has prompted me to echo the ’sweet mouth’ thing - I had that phrase ’said’ to me the other day. Her meaning obviously had more subtlety than I had realised - I had to wade through a lot of commas to get there, but get there I did
View all comments by doctorbond
View all comments by HughJ
I would also like to say the following…. Farang Speaks 2 Much elevates itself above the majority of other similar sites by the good manners and courtesey of it’s contributors.
As an occaisional poster I know how uncomfortable it can be to get negative comments about something you have spent a lot of time working on and crafting but I tend to accept this as par for the course. What really riles me is to receive a comment that is a direct personal attack. Nowadays if I see some other poster suffering a personal attack I generally feel the need to show them some support regardless of whether or not I agree with them. I understand that it is a bit confusing because some bloggers that know each other personally can be exceptionally rude in their exchanges, but those are normally obvious ‘joshing’ between friends.
Disagree by all means but keep it civilised.
If nothing else, BBK provides a regular lengthy bit of prose that everyone seems to enjoy commenting on.
View all comments by doctorbond
Hello Everyone,
I thought this was a masterpiece of writing.
Kenny has developed a fan base that extends well beyond the scope of the average Nana Plaza monger, bringing the art of the Bangkok blog to levels unimagined by others. While he is familiar with the haunts and habits or the seedier side of Bangkok, Kenny has established as his trademark the ability to carry the discussion to new and interesting places, be it the university library, the supermarket or even the local coffee shop.
But Kenny’s tastes are hardly always ‘champagne’. Let us not forget that Kenny’s quest for the unique has included previous blogs about picking up streetwalkers on the dark streets of the City of Angels and visiting the go go bars in the ’seedy’ area of Sutisan Road among others.
Readers who see his discussion of up-market venues and confuse it with snobbery simply don’t appreciate the broader scope of Kenny’s writing. They would do well to heed his words.
Clearly, Kenny isn’t a man who sees himself above the crowd, but one who sees himself among the crowd. He simply aims to carry the crowd with him to new and interesting venues beyond the locally known and understood areas of Nana, Cowboy and Patpong in the hope that, as he said when addressing the recent Conference on Global Mongering in Amsterdam, “we can all just learn from each other.”
Kenny’s new book, “The Dummies Guide on How to Meet (and Bang) Nearly Any Girl in the Known Universe” will be out in hardback in mid-2009 and will be available from Amazon.com and many other on-line retailers for just US$39.99 plus shipping.
By the way, I love the blogsite, and I hope to see your fine bar, the Big Mango and meet all of you as soon as I get to Asia. Kenny’s told me so many wonderful things about it.
Ciao for now,
Roland Preston Gaines III
Senior Editor
Gaines Publishing
St Louis, Missouri
View all comments by BigBabyKenny's publisher for the soon-to-be-released compendium "The Dummies Guide on How to Meet (and Bang) Nearly Any Girl in the Known Universe"
Doc B. — Really wanted to write more about that myself. I’m quite familiar with the who “bag wan” phrase, but usually with the P4P girls as an obvious joke.
But in some online conversations (and once whiel quite drunk with a G-club girl I was convinced for 3 days I wanted to marry), I commented on their looks with sincere compliments. All fell quite flat and I was a little befuddled by that.
I knew inantely about the class stuff and the fact Isaan girls always put down their looks by comparing themselves to the Bangkok white girls, but I don’t think at the time I made my compliments I kept that in mind. BKK just brought it home a bit more for me.
View all comments by The Ghost
Unless a man is looking to marry a trophy Thai, that he plans on taking back to where ever, what is the fascination with some Uni or High So, that is dressed well. OK, it’s great to have a lady that your able to take to a 5 star restaurant or a social affair and she knows what fork to use and how to butter a piece of bread, but just how many times a month do any of us do that? There have been many times that I have said that I would like to find a nice girl to take to dinner, but the time and effort involved have proven to be too much of a drain and in that case the end does not justify the means.
How much time and effort does one have to expend to achieve a one night date? How much frivolous prattle, mindless piffle do you have to intake in your quest.
Just how many Thais have you all known that have one iota of knowledge of what occurs out side of Thailand and for that matter what is going on right now in Thailand, think about it.
No folks, stick to what your good at. One more point, no matter how hard you try you will never be accepted as an equal. Your just a Farang!
View all comments by The Man
@doctorbond - If you play your cards right, Kenny may reward your “good manners and courtesy” by poking at your prostate with his hi-tec instruments of pleasure.
View all comments by Eniac
@ Eniac - my understanding is that he has flown home so I’m hoping that my nether regions will remain unviolated - but just to be on the safe side I’ll get my coffee in Au Bon Pain
View all comments by doctorbond
This is another one of those ideas that splits the online community down the middle.
Are we seen by Thais as being inferior — do they look down on us?
Or are we in fact envied and looked up to as someone worthy of respect — an aspiration if you will?
(Or perhaps neither is true, and we are taken on our merits)
I tend toward the third, parenthetical, idea.
Earlier this week two Thai women — managers in a government department — were talking to me and asked me about the usage of a couple of words in the English language. They wanted to know if the words had a positive or pejorative connotation.
By way of explanation, I said that they were ‘neutral’ like the word ‘farang’ being applied to foreigners.
They both took me to task, saying that farang is not a neutral word, but one with strong positive connotations. That it doesn’t simply mean foreigner, but has a positive meaning beyond that.
Maybe, maybe not, but they were vociferous in their insistence that Westerners (like me) are seen as being above Thai people.
I believe that for most Thai people, white foreigners are strange and fascinating… exotic if you will. We get bonus points right away for our light skin and long noses (why do you think that it’s what they aspire to?), for being generally well educated, speaking English and having money.
That said, I think that Thais feel disdain for the typical sex tourist — or at least their idea of the typical sex tourist — much as most inhabitants of any other country in the world look down on whoremongers.
Bargirls in farang areas, who know us in a way that most ‘normal’ Thai people never will, seem to have a strange love-hate relationship with us, their customers. They can get away with calling us stupid buffaloes and the like because they know our desires and our weaknesses. To them we are not supermen, nor even special, just a source of income. Still, to a fairly large number of bar girls we represent a ticket to prosperity, so they find a way to look adoringly at us while perhaps being quietly disgusted by what they see.
In my professional life I present myself as very separate from the naughty nightlife scene. Asked why I live in Asia, I tell the Thais what they want to hear. At work I am sober, well dressed, well mannered and professional. I think that most Thai people I know look up to me as a model expat resident in the Land of Smiles.
I think that these people are interested in me and my life. They crave my good opinion. They generally treat me as an honored guest in most situations.
So, to say that a farang will never be treated as an equal because Thais look down on us is, I think, potentially a completely false idea.
I believe that in Thailand we (white foreigners) start out with an advantage in the eyes of Thai people, and that it is only through our behaviour — for better or for worse — that we change our position in the society.
View all comments by Werewolf
WW. Given your height, the only Thais that will look down on you are those on elevated walkways
View all comments by doctorbond
I’ve re-read my comments here and I apologise unreservedly to BBK for any offence he has every right to take at what I’ve said. Each to his own. At least his pieces always, always, put a bug in our collective ass (and there’s an image I wish I hadn’t conjured up).
View all comments by Pants Elk
@doctorbond - I’m gutted to hear that Kenny the stud muffin has snuck off back to the overfly zone without first telling us how to meet (and bang) a trio of hot lesbian pornstars up the dirtbox for free. The smart money is on exposing oneself in Coffee World but sly Kenny is keeping that tip to himself.
View all comments by Eniac
@ Eniac - yes it’s a disgrace, where’s his social conscience? - I’ve spent good money on this Kenwood hand blender and without instructions have no idea what to do with it.. maybe I should just knock up a milkshake
View all comments by doctorbond
My thoughts on being civil to one another…. I am reminded of the Somme on Christmas Day - the Hun called out from their trenches and one by one we all emerged and walked across no-mans land - we showed each other photos of our loved ones, shared provisions and then some one produced a football. We had a lovely day. I was chatting to a young man called Carl. He was charming company and we saw each other as human beings, fodder for the men in big chairs miles from the front. I came to appreciate Carl, not as a faceless enemy but as kindred spirit whose humanity spilled out with every word he spoke and every theory he postulated.
Next morning, the bounder shot me in the ass.
View all comments by Times Literary Critic
kenny - thanks for the article.
folks - huge difference between attacking the poster and disagreeing with the post or promise. I think everyone knows the difference. We delete stuff all the time when I see stuff that is an attack. A waste of my time to deal with it.
As you can see from the comments - people love to debate all this. BBK just kicks off a healthy dose of it. I think he does it on purpose.
So out of the top commented posts on the site BBK has 3 of them. If I look at the all time stats for most viewed posts - BBK also dominates that list.
So BBK - keep on writing. I think many times your premises are somewhat full of shit but I still like reading them and they always contain some wisdom, wit and a general piss take on the world. Love it.
View all comments by sideshowBOB