Part 1 here.
If you are unsure with how tagged works, its piss easy. Easier then getting your cherries licked in the toilets at Cascade. You can upload and put your photos on there and your friends can write comments about them. Also on your profile people can leave comments, give you songs and stuff (sending songs and graphics are super gay - no way on earth should a male partake)
Every now and again Ill comment on a girls photo. Never really make a habit of it. Usually i put joke comments on there as Ive noticed, and Im gonna highlight here, theres so many guys leaving lame and disturbing comments that you gotta stand out from the crowd. Make it work for you.
Trawling these comments has been the most fun Ive had since I was a bi-curious boyscout leader with a rucksack full of jelly sweets. Yet again I shit you not, these are all genuine comments Ive seen…… Just imagine what goes through these guys heads when they are typing it. “Yeah this is gonna charm her on” and what the girls must think of these cretins…….
Girl posts a pic in a revealing top. Fred, 43 from Ohio commented “nice tits”. Smooth Fred. Real smooth. Im guessing you dont hook up much? Whats your strike rate?
Smoking hot LB has a pic of her in a bra with a towel round her waste. ‘Izzi’ 38 from Tel Aviv said “Take off that towel so i can suck your dick”………….. Izzi Izzi Izzi! Please keep shit like that on private message. I know have a mental image of you on all fours, wearing a pair of leather chaps with a can of Rexona up your boosh, barking like a dog while sucking this ladyboy dry. I dont want that shit floating around my head thanks. Im going to have to screw the arse of a Rainbow 1 girl now to rid of that mental image. However, Rainbow girls pay ME so all is not lost
A non descript cutie has a face picture taken at a local internet cafe. ‘Jonny C’ 24 from Glasgow (baring in mind hes ginger and wearing a Burberry cap) chirped “Fuck me i would” - You know what Jonny C, I bet you would lad. Youd love a piece of that action dont you However I have 1000baht and a bottle of black hair-dye that says SHE wouldnt.
Another smoking hot ladyboy. Absolutely amazing looking. Konrad 43 from Naples exclaimed ‘beautiful mak mak’ Then on another photo ’sexy jing jing’. EASY there Konrad. Your really gonna bowl her over with your expansive Thai vocab there. Not every1 can speak Thai. If you never studied, you’ll never learn. No dramas. If your looking to get into Thai, speak to Smitty. Hes the DON. But throwing stuff like ‘mak mak’ or branching out into ‘jing jing’ at the end of an english sentence is pretty fucking lame.
Shah says - “Nice boobs. Some big boobs” - Can i buy you a beer please Shah?
“You want to do a fucky?” - Class. Pure class. You must of seen Full Metal Jacket? No? Your gay. You should. That line reminds me of the Vietnamese soldier with the whore who says ‘You want number 1 fucky?’ What was the best he thought could happen? She replying saying “Really? Please can I? Id love that you kind man. I have a sister too”
1 dirtbox with a face like a builders radio (but a first rate rack) posted a pic of her on Samet beach. Unlike the comments before im not gonna comment on them. Words escape me. These are the pick of the 87odd comments left…..
“sex to fuck this tits ”
“woow so hot, i like it. big and hard really”
“u r so hot and great tits ”
“i kiss you now and then”
And the winnerladies and gentleman is………………… “Im almost on ejaculation here”
1 slutty babe uploaded a waist-to-head pic of her in a Bikini. Fuck me with a feather she had awesome norks. Just awesome. ‘Denny’ of London queried “Wow. What is this?” - There called tits Denny. TITS. Thats all they are. What did you think they were you dull prick? Were you raised by wolves in the mountains or something?
This one was sent to me by a friend online. Classic. “hi…me have alone home in and have a cam open big and hard cock show do see add me come sxxxxx_kxxxxxx@hotmail.com” - Maybe some extra English lessons are in order here. Ill try and translate. From what I can gather he has a huge wang and is open to showing it online. If anyone wants the actual MSN address, ill email you my paypal details.
“hi hello yes its me Ramil..nice smile terribly Ramil” - Ramil my friend. Thats just a selection of words. Doesnt constitute a sentence.
“Huh……. cant tolerate more babe…… am already coming……” - Typing with 1 hand are we you fucking creep? Your a fat arab with coke bottle glasses and a Ned Flanders tash. I dont want to know that. She doesnt want to know that. Morally wrong
Mohammad S says: - “ommmmm. i realy feel in sex to see u r pics” - Good for you lad. Me too.
Rizal says: - “i like your breast” - Now ive seen her picture and she has 2 of em. Both perfect. Symmetrical. Shes hasnt suffered a terrible accident with a sandblaster. Maybe its an Israeli thing?
“These legs are very hot for me, Can you open them a bit more. hey just doing for me” - Kinda of lost for words here. He was actually French aswell so explains a lot.
ANd as always save the best til last. Ive been told by the powers that be that i cant give this guys profile ID out. Gutted. Stumbled across some asshole who was going round adding the same girls as me. He needs to be crushed. Then I opened his profile and realised he is zero competition. I hope he reads the blog and realises hes a gold plated twat. People might say its sad to hate someone with such a passion. I just do. This is why……
Hes been going onto some profiles leaving the exact same comment: “yin-dee-tee-dy-ru-juk Krup, Hi my name is Stephen, I can speak Thai I’m an American here in Bangkok I’m looking for some “jing-jing” friends R U jing-jing my? READ MY PROFILE, then MESSAGE ME ; ) - The jing jing comment made me feel slightly sick. Twice. Pidgeon English is lam. Anyone caught talking it should have there fucking tongue ripped from there head. Hes saying he can speak thai, so why talk like a twat?
TAGLINE: “I am a Christian, R U? Take action, Do it, Take a chance, Change your life” Instant dislike. Evangalist type. Christians are weird. Oh and I found out his proffession. Motivational speaker (More on this later). Dear me. Like that oaf who did a cameo in Shallow Hal. Massive head. Runs round on stage hi5-ing people? Big hands like a ladyboy. Dont know his name. Dont want to either.
STEPHEN SAYS: I want to meet people and go out for coffee not just talk on-line, NO PROSTITUTES, OR GAY MEN, PLEASE. I understand thai from 10% to 60%, so it would be helpful if you speak at least a little english. Your english does not have to be perfect, i love to practice speaking thai. - Course you do. Just for ‘coffee’ eh? I know his sort Stephen. Like when girls ask me if i like gogo girls i tell them NO. Your a fraud. No prostitutes or gay men? He doth protest too much. Bet you love your anorexic rentboys with boyband haircuts. Regular down ‘Screw Boy’ gogo arent you? Thai 10-60%? WOW. Your hard. Pick a number any number.
BEST FEATURES: Open Mind, and a Open Heart, I LOVE THE TRUTH - You really want the truth? I got a nice slice of truth pie for you my friend. Your a pug-nosed gimp. A skidmark in the underpants of tagged.com
What I’m Into: Motercycles, Adventure, I have 2,800 audio books, I like to learn. Being stupid is not attractive or profitable - 2800 audio books? Your kidding right? Bookworm! All bookworms are bullied at school. The list SHOULD read.. Rentboys. Heroin. Scat and shit eating. Young kids. Inserting fruits in my brown-eye. Katoey bridge-hunters. Wanking in mothers tights. 2girls1cup.com
FRIENDS: At this time I am just looking for friends that, have a good heart, and are kind. have an open mind like children, (i have children) are a “GOOD GIRL” Open to Christianity WHEN YOU LIKE ME PLEASE ADD ME AS A FRIEND - Caps locks is desperate. Your desperate arent you Stephen? This page is a cry for help isnt it? Your bargirl wife put you through the mill hasnt she? I reccommend a trip to Pattaya and find a nice tall hotel to jump out of.Ill gladly help your search.
He actually posted a youtube video of him doing a motivational speech at a Thai conference in English. Something about small elphants, and big elephants. Free your mind. Be all you can be. Im a fucking creep wearing a peagreen shirtwho needs stabbing. My suit doesnt fit me and make me look stumpy. Then he started hooping and cheering at the end. This is bound to get the 19year old uni girls moist isnt. Can imagine them rustling around in there silk panties watching you in action. Superfly guy.
And this…… You couldnt make this shit up…..
QUALIFY: I am a busy business man. I don’t have much time to meet meet the peoeple I want to meet. I’m not looking for sex. So i’ve put together this list so we can both save time. If you don’t like children, If you are divorced If you are a bar girl, If you have an STD If you are moody or bitchy If you are a liar If you are looking for a rich man If you are not interested in meeting me in person If you are over 32 IF YOU ARE ANY OF THESE JUST WRITE ME A EMAIL AND SAY THAT WE ARE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET TOGETHER. IF YOU QUALIFY PLEASE ADD ME AS A FRIEND Right…….. Not looing for sex? But doesnt wanna meet anyone over 32? All the girls in your friends list are in uni outfits? Had me fooled there. What does divorced have anything to do with it? You got kids already you said? But sex before marriage is a sin isnt it? Your a lowsy christian. Ot a hypocrit. I bet theres some chain smoking 36year old, ex bargirl, with a gunge ridden minky and a foul attitude reading your list of criteria and cursing her rotten luck.
‘Right kids, that about wraps up todays edition. Dont know whether there’ll be a 3rd installment. Maybe there will. Im always writing down the funny shit that i see, so maybe i can whip together a new piece. I could comment on the pulls and success from dates i had, but nothing that funny or extraordinary has come of it. YET
Just take the above as a few tips on HOW NOT to hook up on tagged. You dont have to thank me. Just buy me alcohol. Or a whore. Or both.
Yeah - that last guy cracked me up - if they didn’t qualify, they were supposed to write to him to tell him that? FFS
Dear Bozo, I am writing to inform you that I am a 33 year old crack whore and therefore fall outside your guidelines. Obviously, for me, life is now not worth living and I shall commit suicide as soon as practicable. On a lighter note, I wish you well in your search.
Yours Truly,
Lo-So.
P.S. love to the kids
View all comments by doctorbond
Another blindingly funny piece from the Bard of Bangkok! I promise to get around to reading it as soon as I’ve finished BigBabyKenny’s footnotes to his addenda to his glossary to his comments to his essay.
Are you in town for a bottle of Blue Label at BBB’s epense, Penfers?
View all comments by Pants Elk
Very good Mak Mak.
View all comments by Daywalker
… thank you! But what about Young Penfold’s “piece”? Have you looked into it?
View all comments by Pants Elk
I’ve seen that guys profile. Mega douche.
View all comments by bkk22
we should all mass message him, take him out on the town and snap photos of him getting his backdoor rimmed, jammed and polished by some big german bear. that’ll teach him his lesson.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
Wetback - I think he’s back in Blighty shaking down his mother for more cash……
View all comments by doctorbond
hmm, so we should just keep the big german homo locked up in the big mango on standby awaiting his return?
we need to get a crew out to silom to catch one though. any volunteers?
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
I’ve seen motivational Steve’s profile too. Actually it would not be too hard to set up a fake girl profile and screw with him… hehhehehehe.
For me 2 taggeds have gone quite far already. I’ve got a few others simmering. However, the success rate is still smaller than DIA or TLL.
View all comments by Julian
Wetback - I think your on your own there - however, in that outfit shouldn’t take you long to locate one
View all comments by doctorbond
Steve should get gangbanged by a bunch of old, moody, bitching, lying, bargirls.
If that doesn’t motivate him, there’s always the big fat German in the closet.
View all comments by hanuman
I can’t seem to work out what insight is learned or any real purpose for this post. The web is filled with fools and losers writing stupid things and trying to get laid somehow by hiding behind a computer. So do we need a recital of what these pathetic people are spewing into cyberspace? In fact, if I had any interest at all in reading some of the stupid things other people are writing in an effort to try and bed a girl, then is there any reason I couldn’t go onto any one of the hundreds of web personals sites myself and read it right at the source? If you want to quote something, let it have some intelligible value or some element of current events rather than insulting our intelligence with this junk. Please stop….
View all comments by Philip McCrevice
I agree with Phil.
Who the fuck does YP think he is by taking the time to type out all this shit, just to make us all laugh and shake our heads at the computer. Bast.
View all comments by Daywalker
I think Phil meant to leave this comment on a BBK piece?
View all comments by Pants Elk
Come to think of it, who is this guy to judge others on that web site and/or poke fun at them anyway? Especially when is making stupid advances at the girls on there himself. He is no less the cyber-babbling idiot than any of those other guys on those sites he is quoting since they are also trying to get the same attention of the women that he is. If the shoe fits…
View all comments by Philip McCrevice
I’ve been reading the blog for ages and its generally well entertaining and keeps me informed about the scene while I’m in the UK. But hey I think your boy YP needs to fucking grow up a wee bit!
Can’t see the point of his shit! Sorry just ain’t funny.
Who the fuck does he think he is?
Yeah for sure there are some pretty lame comments that he pointed out but I agree with Phil - it’s fucking easy to take the piss.
BTW I think BBK does some wicked posts even if I don’t agree with all of his points his style is col and well thought out.
View all comments by Jim
“He is no less the cyber-babbling idiot than any of those other guys on those sites he is quoting since they are also trying to get the same attention of the women that he is.”
I don’t think YP would disagree with you there. That’s kind of the point of the piece, isn’t it?
Hey, incidentally, Phil - did you know that your name could be read with a humorous interpretation? It can! See if you can follow me here - Phil McCrevice = Fill My Crevice = put your cock up my bum! Sorry to have to point this out to you in public - boy, is your face red!
View all comments by Pants Elk
Pants Elk – Wphew… You are quick and definitely the sharpest tool in the box. Not to mention your gifted propensity of stating the obvious.
Anyway, since you are on a roll, what is the unobvious point of the post you are referring to? I thought the point was there is no point at all to the post and that it is just a cheap hypocritical pot-shot against others who are doing the same thing. Most of all, it adds nothing.
P.S. I’ll share a little secret with ya, the demoniker is intentional, but please don’t tell anyone, OK?
View all comments by Philip McCrevice
I tought it was funny, jing jing.
Pants and YP should do a piece together.
View all comments by hanuman
Phil, thanks for not disappointing me.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Your welcome, but the name is Philip (Fill-Up), get it?
View all comments by Philip McCrevice
I couldn’t make this stuff up.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Take a chill pill Philip. The point of the post was the lame ass comments people were leaving. At no point did I say I was an expert (although I am)
Your not Steve in disguise are you? What happnened to ‘love thy neighbour’?
View all comments by Young Penfold
Boys….. all this shit going on here is bringing tears to my eyes. If thou requirest no enlightenment, why come to the Temple. Brother Penfold, carry on as thou were. Any doubters, a smile can cure most severe of ailments. Get your bums down to Bumrumgrad for a Humour Transplant. Run along now…. off you go.
View all comments by Dr M.T. Mc Olostomie-Bag
mycreviceneedsfilling - the purpose is entertainment. Much like your screen name I gather. I will take your feedback though and process through our feedback engine. The bit bucket. Or the trash for those non geeks.
yp is the up and coming tucker max of se asia
http://www.tuckermax.com/
pmmp and I have locked up the book and movie rights. YP signed them away one night over his 10th piint. he just does not know it yet.
View all comments by smitty
I think it’s time for the Big Secret to come out before any more harm is done.
“Young Penfold” is a fictional character, invented by one of the Big Mango Brothers, who also refined his writing style (writing in YP’s “voice” isn’t as easy as it looks - it has to be uneducated yet witty, dumb yet smart … with a massive injection of irony) before making the first post under that name.
The fact that many people in the ‘kokosphere (and beyond) seem to accept him as a real person is a credit to the Mango Brother’s powers of invention and creative writing skills.
So please - more YP pieces, and let’s all enjoy them in the spirit they were intended, and not get too worked up about what was only ever a bit of light-hearted fun!
View all comments by Pants Elk
pe - its weird. I bought those some x ray vision goggles years ago and they do nothing for me but they do wonders for u. how did u know? pmmp kept it from me for months but I finally caught him hunched over the computer one afternoon banging out a yp post. he was wearing a wig at the time, had orange contacts in and was drinking a flat spy wine cooler. suddenly it all made sense.
View all comments by smitty
pmmp is a strangely gifted yet troubled man.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Speaking of frayed ringpieces i had a 4some with some ice’d up ladyboys in Pattaya last night. Post to follow
View all comments by Young Penfold
I always like a good hard post to look foreward to like my mum says as she hammers the semen crust off my sheets
View all comments by Young Penfold
It’ just an idea, but maybe YP can post some of his responses to “Tagged” tarts here.
Then we could all learn from the master.
View all comments by Jaiyenyen
i am an old wanker who cant get it up for love nor money and i think im shit hot but just ask the girls from the Guess Bar if you want the whole sordid truth
View all comments by Pants Elk
We’re all just the Imaginary Friends of BBB. He’s going to have a cheap night buying us all imaginary drinks on Wednesday night (number 30) at the Big Mango bar.
View all comments by Pants Elk
in with tucker max out with the penless guy with the fold. That boy tucker rocks!
View all comments by peniz max
YP - I think you’ve figured out Mr. Philip. He’s actually Stephen from Tagged and you’ve really hurt his self-righteous feelings.
View all comments by khunron
wow, everyone gets soo serious up in dis piece. It’s penfold not fucking ernest hemingway. take it for what it is and laugh.
so is the bar a safe place to take my gf to shoot pool? i was thinking stopping at the same place i got my balls rubbed in soi 22 but i’m not one for awkward situations with old white dudes.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
howdidyourbackgetsowet - I must say u spend more time talking about coming to the bar than time actually spent in the bar. why wouldn’t it be a safe place?
get on over… whip on some mexican food while u are there 2
View all comments by smitty
i’ve been in once but don’t usually make soi 4 part of my weekend itinerary.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
“but don’t usually make soi 4 part of my weekend itinerary.” - eeeeewwww!
View all comments by Pants Elk
“but don’t usually make soi 4 part of my weekend itinerary.”
that’s odd, ‘leaving’ soi 4 is not usually part of my weekend itinerary
View all comments by pmmp
Can someone tell me where soi 4 is?
View all comments by Daywalker
With pleasure, Daywalker! Ask your car service to drop you off at Emporium, on Bangkok’s busy Sukhumvit Street. Take the elevator to the fifth floor, and look for the area that’s full of “restaurants” offering a variety of international “cuisine”. This is “Soi 4″ - and don’t be afraid to let the little minxes dressed as “waitresses” know that YOU know exactly what they (and you!) are there for! Feel free to drag your choice to the bedding department nearby - this is the notorious “short time hotel” you’ve read about!
View all comments by Pants Elk
I’ve just had a wank in my ma’s tights.
View all comments by Jimmy Cricket
- Jimmy.. Hope you didn’t wake your Ma’?
View all comments by Daywalker
thanks, YP. i’ve been on tagged for a while now and by far and away the weirdest, most amusing/annoying thing is the quality of picture comments and posts. first of all, tagged strikes me as a kind-of myspace for people who find myspace all too complicated. i first signed up after reading a comment by Young Royal about it on this site, many moons ago. i’ve had moderate success meeting women. i generally use a shotgun approach when i’m bored at work. i liken it to whipping a handfull of shit into a ceiling fan. stirring up trouble. letting the cards fall where they may. mixing metaphors.
as YP commented before, the highly educated are often the most boring for some reason. who knows why? but back to the quality of the comments, jesus, they’re amazing…ly bad. dudes with washboard abs pulling their underwear down leaving comments much like those YP has highlighted above, “I am Faisal… your hat is super… super hat for a super lady.” creepy old coffin-dodgers in safari gear leaving inspirational christian glitter-bomb roses with bible verses, “John 3:22… for special friend… I Hans you msn with me?”
you do tend to run across the same people again and again. i just wonder how many times YP’s seen my profile and thought to himself, “you twat!”
YP: i belive tony robbins, he of the giant head/teeth/hands, was the motivational speaker in Shallow Hal. looking forward to this next piece, by the way.
View all comments by killerbees
Killerbees - I wonder how many times you’ve come across my profile and thought ‘you stud’
The whole point behind the post was to highlight the lame shit these douches say, and what goes through there mind when they are typing this crap. Obviously being a man with good taste you appreciated it. Good form.
View all comments by Young Penfold
Just found this site. i just pissed my self with laughter at this read,,very funny..
View all comments by Fish
I just noticed that there is a banner ad at the top and bottom of the page with photos of nude women, including one photo that appears to show actual lesbian sex in action!
I find this tasteless and offensive. I strongly urge you to remove this advertising, or at least tell those girls to put some clothes on!
And the foul-mouthed smut in this so-called blog entry by — Penfold, is it? — well, all I can say is that the lot of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves!!
This is why I don’t understand why so many people are interested in the internet.
Perverts!
View all comments by John McCain
jm - jesus dude. at least u figured out how to read blogs. awesome that u have chosen to read our most esteemed blog.
love u baby.
go obama.
View all comments by smitty
Hey, JM was in ‘nam back in the day, he might well have had some RnR in Thailand… heck he might be an old hand at the game!
View all comments by Julian
I did not know they allowed things like this on Flickr:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27993495@N02/
One of the social networking site girls. Anyone venture to guess? Pro? Amateur? Tease?
View all comments by Julian
The best girl’s username (uni girl by the look of her photos)….”Sex For iPhone”. Welcome to Thailand!
View all comments by Dave