There is no action in Bangkok.1
Of course, I do not mean girl/banging action. Bangkok features the highest quality, cheapest, most abundant, most accessible, and most varied girl/banging action of anywhere in the world.
By no action, I mean no gambling for real money.
The human desire to bet is universal and embedded in our DNA. No matter what society, country, or time period where there are large groups of people, whether it is legal or illegal, human beings play games and wager on the results. Betting is as indelibly ingrained in the human psyche as the desire to procreate and eat.
In the United States, there is competition between different venues in the gambling industry driving down the vig and creating opportunities for skillful gamblers to wager with a positive expectation. Los Angeles and Las Vegas feature numerous safe and/or legal gambling venues and many playable poker games are spread 24/7.
In Thailand, no such competition exists, most gambling is illegal and/or a police owned/franchised monopoly and, consequently, the games and wagers available bite. Only a sucker would bet in these venues.
There are some underground Bangkok casinos spreading house banked games with no skill involved and the odds fixed against the players. Pounding your ahead against the long run mathematical certainty of losing is neither enjoyable or profitable.
Besides I am pretty sure that when you are betting real money, the games at the underground casinos will be crooked. I can’t imagine these places letting a player get lucky in the short run and leaving the premises with a big chunk of the casino’s bankroll. If you are so fortunate to win big and keep playing, get ready to get cold decked. If you are so fortunate to win big and are able to cash out get ready to be robbed.
You can bet on the boxing at Lumpini and Rachadamoen stadiums but if you are not Thai, mastering the hand signals, actually getting in the bet you want at the desired odds, and then getting paid is nigh on impossible. Besides, not many farang can skillfully handicap the matches so you will pretty much always end up taking the worst of it betting against the Lumpini and Rachadamoen bookies. And, of course, there is the possibility of a follow home robbery.
And then there are the chicken fights at Chatuchak Market …..
Like I said, there is no action in Bangkok.
Thai people with the gambling itch have no way to scratch and, in general, have an unsatisfied craving for action.
Wrapping your head around the dearth of action explains the popularity in Thailand of games which in The World are mostly neglected.
One example is the pound the nail into the tree stump game played in the outdoor bars of Phuket.
A second example is throwing the ping pong ball onto the stage full of half naked go-go girls.
The most ubiquitous example is the popularity of pool in Bangkok.
Nowhere else in the world are there scores of girls who enjoy playing pool. Venues like Gullivers Soi 5 where half the players on the challenge tables are women, most of them are hotties, and they are serious about winning do not exist in The World.
Pool halls in The World are populated with 98% male players, most of them old and hardened, and the few chicks cannot even charitably be described as sexy. Most of the games are either between friends or involve someone hustling someone else in a game with a sucker spot. There are no pool halls in The World like Gulliver’s where you can walk in spend the evening playing with a succession of hot single chicks who are playing for fun and playing to win.
The Thai love of sanuk. i.e. fun and the dearth of outlets for scratching the gambling itch means TG’s love to play games and they love to gamble.
Fortuitously, so do I.
One thing I miss while in Thailand is playing poker for real money. I don’t mean a friendly game for fun where nothing is at stake, nobody gets hurts, nobody tries that hard and the game is not that mentally challenging or engaging.
I really miss an honest game of poker, where the players are playing for real money, are knowledgeable about the game, and are making a determined effort to bend the odds in their favor and take home the money.
I used to play online poker while in Thailand and could win enough to pay my day to day expenses but in the last couple of years, the online games have degraded to the point where even the most skilled players can win and only with the aid of specialized online tools.
This leaves playing games and gambling with the TG’s.
Gambling with TG’s presents a number of problems.
The first problem is that TG’s have no money. A game is not going to be much fun if there is nothing significant at stake and any amount of money a TG would be able to put up wouldn’t be enough to motivate me to care about the game.
Also, given how close to the line most TG’s are and the fact that I am going to be the favorite in almost every game, beating a TG out of her money would leave an unsavory taste in my mouth. 2
The second problem is that TG’s are not familiar with most of the games common in The World. In order for the game to be fun, it has to require a mix of skill and luck so the expert player can win over the long run and the novice can get lucky and win in the short run.
Trying to explain the rank of hands, i.e. four of a kind beats a full house which beats a flush etc. is well nigh impossible even if the TG was fluent in English or you were fluent in Thai. Trying to explain the rules of even simple poker games like 5 card draw is also impossible given the language barrier.
Overcoming the first problem is simple—play for the only thing that most TG’s have that is valuable to you—their clothes and sex.
Overcoming the second problem is more complex and, frankly I haven’t come up with a perfect solution to this problem. I have asked numerous TG’s what kind of card games they know and haven’t run into any that have the right mix of luck and skill to make them suitable.
When I am in the mood and/or meet a couple of TG’s that are gambler girls, I usually suggest some sort of game where if I win they have to take off pieces of clothing and after all their clothes are gone they have to perform additional tasks. If they win I give them some money.
It usually takes a little bit of explaining but once TG’s wrap their head around the concept, you would be surprised how many are into it—especially if you structure the game and payoff structure correctly.
Some care must be taken in choosing girls to gamble with because not all TG’s are gambler girls. Some girls just don’t like games. Some girls lack the mathematical or strategic bent to be good at games. Some girls lack the competitive instinct and don’t care if they win or lose but a surprisingly large portion of TG’s, not only grasp the idea but enthusiastically embrace the chance for a good competitive game of Strip Poker The Thai Version. 3
Here are some pics from a game.
These two girls are FL’s who I invited back to my place for Y and/or Tri-way fun. 4 It is always better (and more expensive) if you can find two girls to play with. The personal dynamic is a lot better, there are more things you can play for, you are more likely to get a TG who can play well, and, generally, it is more than twice the fun.
In this case, we are playing three handed Chinese Poker. In this game, each player is dealt 13 cards and makes 3 hands—a 3 card hand and two 5 card hands. You place the 3 card hand on top and the two five card hands on the bottom. The hands have to be placed so that the bottom hand beats the middle hand which beats the top hand. The winner is the player who wins 2 out of three hands. It is possible that no one wins 2 out of 3 hands. When this happens it is a push with no winner and the clothing carries over into the next hand.
These girls are roommates I met at a FL venue on Sukhumvit and invited back to my place after plying them with drinks. We agreed on 1000THB for each and we gambled for the rest.
I never visited their room, but I got the impression they have a single bed/mat which they share each night. They seemed down with the Y and Tri-way action so who knows what goes on in their room when they are alone. 
For each hand I won, they each had to take off one piece of clothing.
If one of the girls won, I gave her 100 THB and the other girl got nothing but didn’t have to give up a piece of clothing. If they managed to sweep, i.e. win all three hands, I paid the winner double, i.e. 200 THB.
They actually started cheating by showing each other their cards so they could arrange their hands to force a draw when neither had two strong hands but I didn’t insist on a strict enforcement of the rules because like most TG’s they needed the money and besides if they were lucky or skillful enough to take my money they earned it!
For game purposes, each girl had 4 pieces of clothing-shirt, pants, bra, and panties. The girl who had lost all her clothing first had to let the other girl decide whether she was going to be the Tom or the Dee. If the girl who had already lost all her clothing lost again, there was list of things she had to do or forfeit. I’ll leave it to your imagination what was on the list but the list was negotiated in advance.
Notice that the game is properly structured to make it fun, challenging, and worthwhile expending mental energy to play well.
It should take about 12 hands to get all their clothing and I would have to pay about 1000THB plus an additional 100THB for the hands played after one girl had lost all her clothing. This meant on average the girls would get their normal money, and, of course, if they played good or ran well they would get more.
Also, the money at stake is significant (1000 THB is significant but not life changing money) so besides just liking to win there is a strong financial incentive to try to play well.
Gambling with TG’s is not for everybody. You have to be into it and the TG’s have to be into it.
Many farangs are happy shortballing. They meet TG’s, ask them home, settle on terms, bang and are satisfied.
Other farangs are looking to longball.5 They want a TG to be with everyday—the GFE.
Some farangs just wander aimlessly around Bangkok and end up meandering into all types of weird situations. 6
Some people just do not like playing games or gambling.
Personally, I enjoy the variety that Bangkok offers. “Everyday an adventure” encapsulates the daily Bangkok existence better than the traditional “It’s up to you.”
When you wander around Bangkok, it is not only easy to meet a lot of TG’s but it is easy to meet a lot of different types of TG’s—different physically and mentally.
When I meet TG’s I always think of the different ways to have fun with each particular girl– in addition to banging them. Instead of asking where you from, how old are you, and how long have you lived in Bangkok, I like to find out what they like to do for fun—gamble, dance, drink, draw, read, play computer games, etc.
I know a couple of TG’s who are excellent pool players and I enjoy going to one of the places that has good tables, Sports Academy, 13, Ball in Hand etc., and playing pool for money (maybe 100THB per rack) with them. Of course, they have to give me a spot to make the game fair because I suck at pool!
Some TG’s really get off on dancing and dance well. Sometimes I suspect they are on Yabaa but it is still fun to take these girls to a disco, load them up with liquor, and let them go crazy on the dance floor before taking them home.
One TG I know seriously gets into good Japanese food and she cannot afford to eat Japanese very often. It is great fun taking her to a decent Japanese Restaurant and ordering up a storm.
Sometimes I am lucky enough to meet TG’s that are gambler girls—girls that enjoy playing games and wagering as much as I do—girls that grasp quickly the rules and strategy of different games, play to win, lose graciously when they get beat, and are hotties too.
If you didn’t already know, I hope this essay brought to your attention how prevalent gambler girls are among the TG’s and alerted you to the fact that you can really really really enjoy your time with them.
—————————————————————————————————————
- Fresh Ideas About How to Really Really Have Fun in Thailand is the first part in this series.
- In Defense of Thai Women, In Defense of Thai Women Part 2, and Celebration or Condemnation.
- See Yabaa Dabaa Do or Yabaa Dabaa Don’t for some suggestions about how to find 3-way action.
- See Yabaa Dabaa Do or Yabaa Dabaa Don’t for the difference between Y-Way and Tri-Way action.
- See Users Guide to Gullivers for the difference between short and long balling.
- For an example, read My First Visit to NEP.
Gullivers hotties is somewhat of an oxymoron these days imo. The girls I see there these days are generally just awful.
Plenty of money in online poker if you are even half decent. There are tons of poker pros in BKK (including myself.)
View all comments by james
I gave up at…
“The human desire to bet is universal and embedded in our DNA.”
Can we get a decent range of emoticons on this site. Sometimes they say so much more than words.
View all comments by Combover
James, why don’t you and Kenny play each other, or all comers, in a back room at The Big Mango? Winner takes all bragging rights.
View all comments by Combover
Hi BBK,
I enjoy reading your posts and am a bit of a poker player myself. What types of poker do you prefer playing? I’ve really gotten into Texas Holdem in the past 2 years. It’s a fun game because there is a lot of luck and bad players get paid off all the time but skilled players will come out ahead in the long run. Interestingly enough I was in Macau last month and Texas Holdem just opened at the Grand Lisboa… well the Chinese really took to the game like naturals and I had a really good time playing a few hours with them.
I keep asking my wife about bringing Texas Holdem to Thailand. I think it would provide a lot of sanuk to the locals and could make the poker room owner some decent money from modest pot rakes (commission) that is standard in normal poker rooms. The wife counters that gambling is not good for Thai people as they will bet until they lose everything. And I don’t want to clean out people who are on the poverty line, I just would like to have some fun and perhaps make some baht in the process.
What do you think about starting a Texas Holdem night at the Big Mango? We need to get a table of 10 people or 2 to make it worthwhile. We could play it as a tournament style and pool all the buy-ins to either pay out the top spots in cash or in ’services’ that come from the freelancers…. are you in?
-Mike
View all comments by Mike Hunt
yo - there will be no poker at the mango. thanks
nothing gets u shutdown faster, lose of licenses and big payouts then a bunch of farang getting caught in a bar playing poker. someone volunteer an apartment.
View all comments by smitty
I say we start up a dogfighting syndicate. The Thais love cockfighting, but I have yet to see a proper dogfighting tournament. We can start slow, with a few soi dogs hopped up on Yaba then slowly integrate divisions. i think it would be a great way put the soi dogs to use and to also create a fun action packed environment you can take your latest TG or maybe even your family.
I volunteer to go around rounding up the soi dogs that look like they have a little fight in them and giving them the crash course in the rules and regulations of canine martial arts and then we can set up a few friendly exhibition matches. As of now there are an abundance of venues to hold such tournaments as there are abandoned unfinished buildings scattered around bangkok. It might also be possible to set up teams based on what district the team is from. For instance, we can have the Asoke assinvaders or the bangrak bitchmongers.
anyone up for this grand adventure?
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
@Combover. How far down was the sentence that you gave up at?
Whilst I’m sure BBK has fun… I just leave a pack of cards out and let the girls take charge. They’re all cheating little cows anyway, so it’s not long before they are naked and doing things that YP would think about inflicting on a LB.
View all comments by Day Walker
@BBK, Gambler as you are, a huge post about gambling in Thailand but no mentioning of “Pok Daeng”….next time you enter a bar with Thai girls or a Thai bar in general, ask them if they are interested in a game of pok daeng. Let them explain the rules to you and play a few rounds.
Should be some kind of a challenge for a poker player like you and it might give you enough content for a next post……
View all comments by Fluke
I’m not a Poker pro, but what you describe here is called “Strip Poker”, right?
It’s fun. But when you already gave THB 1000 to the girl, you’re not far from having her stripping without even losing
View all comments by Suk Psycho
@Day Walker: I hear you. Actually it was 56 words into the 2274, or 2.5% of the total piece, so I think that was a fairer than average hearing.
View all comments by Combover
Ahhh - at last… the ‘BBK Gambling Post’ that dares speak it’s name.
Sounds Fun BBK - however I suspect there’s a heads you win, tails you win element to this. Much better if you set it up so that they could stay fully clothed and walk out of your apartment with your hard earned spondoolies in their back pocket if you played badly. Surely gambling is all about… er.. gambling?
View all comments by doctorbond
P.S. I think that most people are wired to some degree to take risks (i.e. calling Mike Tyson a twat to his face) and also to take risks with money (i.e. business, property speculation) but the proposition that we are all designed to ‘play games and wager’ is ludicrous.
View all comments by doctorbond
@ BBK “Nowhere else in the world are there scores of girls who enjoy playing pool. Venues like Gullivers Soi 5 where half the players on the challenge tables are women, most of them are hotties, and they are serious about winning do not exist in The World.”
Philippines - Manila - Mad Dogs - travel - knowledge - make broad sweeping statements … oh and the chicks there are mostly a mix of free and freelancer - mostly hotter than Gullibles …
View all comments by psi100th
BBK, you can still make money online even in the nit filled games if you have a good rakeback deal. Just play some nice tight poker for a breakeven and take 30%+ of your rake back at the end of the month.
View all comments by Billy Bangkok
Doctorbond and SukPsycho,
I do not want win a TG’s money. They don’t have that much and given the disparity in net worth it would be pretty creepy trying to trick TG’s into games where they can lose everything. I am sure there are some creeps who would get off on this if they could figure out how but I am not one of them.
I enjoy playing games with TG’s because I enjoy playing games and I enjoy it all the more with hot chicks I get to bang. That is why the games are structured so that the TG ends up getting money at the end no matter what happens.
… and there is a certain indefinable pleasure in playing for sex and winning especially with bi-sexual women.
Call me creepy but is kind of cool making the Dee get to do the Tom for a change and getting to watch—-and then getting to do the Dee while the Tom watches.
Also, a lot of Thai girls are curious about a lot of things (including banging other girls) but are too shy or just never end up in the right situation to explore.
When you are negotiating the list of things she might have to do, you would be surprised at some of the things TG’s come up with. A lot of girls are into some cool stuff but you would never know and they would never tell you on the first, second, or third time you bang them—-and most of the time you never bang them enough times so they feel comfortable telling you their secrets.
I remember two girls who came up with a list and everything on it involved one of them doing something else or being subjected to something by and to each other. Somehow, I got sidelined to the spectator role.
Gambling gives Tg’s an excuse to put things on the table that would never get there any other way.
Call me creepy but I think that is kind of cool.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@ BBK - nope, not gonna call you ‘creepy’ on that one - you took enough of a battering last time.
Daywalker probably will because he’s a mean dude
View all comments by doctorbond
“creepy”
:twisted”
View all comments by Day Walker
told ya….
View all comments by doctorbond
Combover - Your a bigger/better men then I am, you must have enourmous will power to of gotten that far
Daywalker - Nearly every post you mention me. You got the hots for me? No big deal. Your in the majority. Next time ur in town swing by my love lair/dungeon and ill make you famous
View all comments by Young Penfold
I love your post because that’s exactly what I like to do with TG’s before banging them. Playing card before gives an other dimension at the situation (!). most of the time, they like to play Pok Deang. it’s easy, fast, but not realy fun because it’s 90% luck. Have you tried Rummy 500 ? they call it “dummy” in thailand. most of isaan girls know it. It required skills and luck is involved as well.
Personnaly, I love playing chinese poker as you described, but I didn’t imagine they could know this game. I’ll try next time…
for those who would like to know the thai versions of card games :
http://www.pagat.com/national/thailand.html
View all comments by magicsony
i’ll just stick to good old fashioned strip go fish! it’s a classic and the rules are so easy even the most brain damaged or drunk person could keep up with the game.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
Ah, for the good old days of poker, when everyone used to suck. Then ESPN started covering the WSOP and now it’s me who sucks.
Can’t stand the casino scene. Too many degenerate gamblers and morons. Guys screaming and swearing that I made a hand on the river when the pot was paying 5-1 and six other cards made me a winner. Lame.
That said, gambling with TGs to have them take their clothes off is another thing entirely.
View all comments by tosh
Why not play “war” a lot faster and eaiser
I like to win at the games i play, in the past few years i have used erotic dice, spin the wheel sex request, body paint (tick tack toe), Sex position Jenga, Pick a page sex books… and so on.. I always seem to win even when i lose.. Luck I guess
GL
View all comments by GoodLife
What was the point of the pictures? Jerk off material for guys with a gambling fetish.
View all comments by yesman
Yesman: Don’t knock the pictures. That was the best part of the post.
View all comments by Day Walker
How far down are the pictures?
View all comments by mart
The point is to poke her, which I prefer to do straight away, rather than poker.
View all comments by Wombat
Yeah, I always bet with them that I can’t fuck them at least 5 times before they go home. If I do, they win and I pay them 1000 baht, if I can’t, I got 4 good pops in and use the 1,000 baht to immediately go to Lolitas and keep a girl on her knees for a couple of hours of hard sucking. It’s easy to explain the rules of the game, too.
View all comments by werewolf
damn those girls are rough… do you have to shag them if you lose the game of poker?
View all comments by Hugh Heffer
Surely ‘Twister’ has to be the most obvious. You obviously spare the contestants full nudity at first, but incentivise with alcohol/cash prizes and stripping/lesbian action penalties. It’s uproarious.
You don’t have to hit the mat yourself, though the yoga inclined amongst us may be capable, just be Master of Ceremonies. You could even throw a katoey or two into the mix for comedy value.
View all comments by Combover
I once played strip Rock, Paper Scissors with a blind girl in Indonesia once. She kicked my ass and i ended up walking home in my underwear and slippers crying into the half bottle of whiskey in my hand.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
Great essay
I always play for stakes, whether its jackpot or pool. If the girl is not something I want to bang I usually play 50 baht vs a kiss (guaranteed sanuk all round). If she is hot, then I usually play 100 baht vs a free fuck. Now, most of these girls are skilled players and won’t hesitate to play you on these terms. But you can get lucky - very lucky. In a beer bar in Pattaya I won a free fuck on my first game of jackpot. In one of the Hillary bars in BKK I won an anal fuck in my second game. And yes, the girls were good as their word
View all comments by martin99z
The creativity in the comments is amazing.
Who knew there were so many cool ways to gamble where if a girl loses she has to strip and do creepy things with you and if she wins she gets $1.
If we could just direct all this creative energy to deciphering cold fusion ….
BigBabyKenny
P.S. Werewolf–you sound pent up—for your mental health I recommend a Pattaya Soi 6 weekend vacation.
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
Dude
Pattaya’s light years away, but I WILL be in Chiang Mai a week from today to try to explore in more detail what the northern girls have to offer.
Pent up doesn’t begin to describe the situation of having gone 21 days, 8 hours and 43 minutes without getting laid.
View all comments by werewolf
Instructions on how to liven up sex with a pack of playing cards:
1. Open a fresh pack and remove the cellophane
2. Shuffle thoroughly
3. Allow the girl(s) to cut the pack, twice
4. Shuffle one more time.
5. Grasp the pack in your left hand
6. Place your thumnail on the third card in
7. Swing your arm in a 180 degree arc
8. Watch cards fly out of open window
9. Fuck the girl(s)
View all comments by doctorbond
re poker in bangkok. There are actually many poker tables for the expat community in town. Some is very high stakes, think $20k, some just few thousand baht. Texas holdum is now the game of choice due to WSOP popularity. Most takes place in private homes but there is some action in pubs with private rooms.
View all comments by MSB
It can be fun playing Pok daeng or Pok Gao with the girls but that’s normally afterwards.
BBK - you seem to be putting the girls down a lot in this post. I’m not having a pop but give them some credit. It’s not that hard to teach them games.
View all comments by Young Royal
Another idea…. The Sukhumvit walk…..
You and a buddy take a walk from soi 4 to 11. Points awarded for…
* Seeing and being recognised by a previous conquest. - 1 point
* Being felt up by a ladyboy without stopping or talking - 2 points
* Girl shout at you for not calling her when promised - 3 points (that excludes the 1 point for recognising you)
* Stopping and buying a wooden frog - Take away 3 points
* Walking past a girl you think you know, but can’t quite remember where from? - 1 point
* Seeing your mates g.f with another Farang and pretending not to notice - 2 points
* Seeing YOUR g.f with another Farang and pretending like you don’t care - 5 points.
- I think you get the gist.
View all comments by Day Walker
I don’t have any buddies….
View all comments by doctorbond
Then you win every time.
View all comments by Day Walker
positive thinking !
View all comments by doctorbond
Well I’d say you could lose as well if you can’t resist buying a wooden frog…
Seeing your GF with another farang but pretending she’s another girl - should be rewarded with at least 20 points. Not easy that one!
View all comments by mart
Is there a story behind that which you’d like to share with us all Mart?
View all comments by Day Walker
How the hell can you know I can hardly resist buying wooden frogs?
View all comments by mart
Responses to all the poker questions.
Mike Hunt:
Gambling is illegal in Thailand. I am not sure of the status of home poker games but games where the house takes a percentage are almost certainly illegal.
Fluke:
I looked up Pok Daeng and it sounds like Pan 9. There is not much skill in playing Pan 9. Unless the other players are hopeless it is 100% luck.
Billy Bangkok:
The online games are tough now. You can multi-table, play tight, and hope there are enough unconscious players to beat the rake but that is not my idea of a fun game. Plus the stakes at which you can do that online are pretty low so you are not going to average much per hour.
MSB:
At one point, I asked around Bangkok to see if there were any private or semi-private games. I didn’t find any although I was invited to game in Pattaya.
In any case, there are no private games where I am likely to be welcome for long. The good players are not going to want another good player in the game and I assume I wouldn’t be invited back a second time. Private games are not like publicly spread games in legal casinos in the USA where anyone can sit down and play.
Also, I am extremely reticent to play in any private game for real money. The possibility of being cheated is very high and when you combine it with chance of getting robbed it doesn’t make any sense.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@ mart - damn I bought a wooden frog - it was back in 2003 - how long does the demerit last?
View all comments by doctorbond
db - as long as the frog croaks.
View all comments by mart
I was in one of the beer/pool bars in Soi 7/1 earlier tonight and was chatting to a fun and reasonably attractive girl. When the games of pool were at 2:2 I suddenly thought of this post. Told her that if I won the game I would barfine her and give her 500 baht for her services and if she won I’d barfine her and give her 1500 baht. I’m crap at pool but somehow I won and she was true to her word. It certainly livened things up and the sex was good too. Maybe she got a kick out of the situation as well?
View all comments by Nok Opayop
Nok Opayop,
If you had kept your wits about you, you could have played another round of pool for “additional services”
Or played for her friend to come along too.
BigBabyKenny
P.S. It is always nice to see your work put to productive use.
View all comments by BIgBabyKenny