u have to look in other places and probably have to date girls that won’t have sex with u either. bkk has it all. the kind of girls u speak of are not who yp is looking for.

I think u can find what u want but u have to be picky, date a lot and probably meet some pretty boring girls who are looking for marriage.

no easy answers here but yes they are out there.
View all comments by smitty

But is there anyone else here, who thinks that by reading this story here, many comments and many others, how on earth anyone can ever meet in Thailand some woman who is interested in marriage, has never sold herself in clear or “gray” way and once in marriage, wont cheat on you. If even stepping into an apartment building the office girl is ready to jump into sack with you and cheat her bf just like that…

Actually wont cheat on you while dating either. And you wont cheat her either…

To me, all this talk, i have tried to neglect and push this thought aside, I am finally getting feeling there really aint woman in Thailand who does not sleep for exhange of goods! That is just ridiculous feeling I know, but damn, maybe it just is the nature of this blog that this kind of stories accumalate and does not represent anything but a very small minority of Thai women??? Right? Please say so!

And I dont want to hear the bullshit how marriage is just legalized prostitution and what not. Just hear me out, and think things in the “traditional” concepts of Europe for example about relationships just for a minute…

(Yes, I enjoy paid sex too, but not when having gf or never thought that the ladies I have had paid fun with have been working for Accenture or something or studying in university on their other time…)
View all comments by Kevin

Nice comments. It is different and so hard to describe but u do a nice job of it. A reader sent this in and I will post it here - it adds to all this a bit:

On a backlash from some of the negative comments on thai girls, I wanted to say something I witnessed a few years back at Don Maueng Airport - Pause,

oh the memories - back to the story. I was sat outside smoking prior to departing LOS. A minute later a stunning thai girl came and sat near me with her disabled farang boyfriend. He was severley disabled, not able to talk proper, strapped into a wheelchair. My first thought was how beautiful she was! The next thing I noticed was how many farang were looking at the same scenario, but sniggering or tutting their dissaproval. Her farang boyfriend was obviously happy and was trying to talk to her in the best way he could. Bear in mind his best speech was close to grunting. But what really struck me was how intently she was listening to her boyfriend and how caring she was being with him, wiping his mouth and generally caring for him which Florence Nightingale would of been proud. I wondered how her boyfriend had got here taking into account his disabilities and right on cue another young farang and his thai girl appeared. All hell broke looose as the disabled guy saw his friend and the four were all together like long lost friends catching up etc. Okay, my point in this is yes, hookers, paid for blah blah blah, but tell me a UK hooker who would of behaved in this way?

View all comments by smitty

Read between the lines people, if you can’t do that try some shrooms please. Yes, it’s deep, even deeper than what has and will be discussed here, but it’s people and life, accept and embrace it.

Actually, if you are reading this on this board you should be one of the biggest Ho’s you know. I’m a man-whore/male slut and I admit it, but worse I don’t get paid. (I wonder are there sluts that love sex like we do and get paid (in some way) for it under the gray areas and hey it is the world’s oldest profession, don’t hate on Mary M.)

Everything is relative and everything doesn’t appear as it seems, especially in the T.

Personally, I would classify a “whore” as someone tatted up, on drugs, looking scary on the stroll in the Tenderloin (SF), or pick your favorite local Ho stroll in the US (think of chicks on Cops), but that doesn’t mean I hate them or think of them as not worthy of love just because I wouldn’t do them, even if they paid me.

On the other hand, in the T. none of the women despite their place of employment/line of work or decisions about sex in exchange for something, even if just mental, are at that same level, so to me a TWG is not the same as a whore even though they are all O’s at some level. (Did I confuse you? If so, have another shroom, and no Chang, Som or Lao Khao don’t count, but it could help.)

The bottom line: The culture is just so much different that we cannot look at it within the same frame of reference we inherited up until we were semi-enlightened. Thailand is Nirvana on earth, right?
View all comments by bkkris

Slapping labels on people is convenient, and in some situations even productive, but the pejorative connotations of words like ‘whore’ ‘hooker’ and ‘prostitute’ make it easy to ignore the humanity of the women we are talking about.

Smitty talks about ’shades of gray’ and ‘twilight’ and I acknowledge that this is all true. It can be true anywhere, but especially here in Thailand.

But honestly, all this talk about defining whether any particular girl is a good girl, a prostitute, or something in between bores me (go ahead Cheapo, I deserve it).

The fact is that they are people. People who are trying to get along in the world. Sometimes, part of getting along in the world means trading their bodies for what they want or need. Personally, I don’t have a problem with it at all.

I think where things come off the rails here in Thailand is that there is a huge cultural divide between Thais and Farang.

This may be too simple an explanation for such a complex topic, but here’s where my head is on this one…

In the world where I grew up, money and love don’t mix. Any connection between the two brands the person receiving the money as some kind of a whore and the person paying the money as either a customer or a sucker.

This is deeply ingrained, so that we (the white guys doing the paying) worry constantly about the connection. If it’s direct, she’s a hooker, making me a customer or sucker. If there is no link, then I can feel confident that we have a ‘relationship’.

And that’s important to me, because if I’m paying a hooker I feel like I’m in control. If I’m in a relationship, that’s cool too. But when I think I’m in a relationship, but I’m actually paying for it, then I’m a sucker.

The “gray area” is caused by the billions of situations where the link is indirect or uncertain. Then we get the “is she or isn’t she?” questions.

Thai people, on the other hand, grow up with the concept that love and money are inextricably intertwined. When you love someone you support them (and their family). Having a link between money and sex (or if you prefer, money and love) is *normal* even in very healthy relationships.

Thais, then, are puzzled about the apparent need for Chinese walls that we farang want to build to divide sex/love and money.

We farang are shocked to find Thai women rather openly expecting support (even if that support is simply taxi money) when they open their legs.

So we spend time and energy agonizing over the definition of a ‘hooker’, and we write blogs and comments and magazine articles aimed at defining when she is and when she isn’t. All so we can make sure we aren’t being played for a sucker.

It doesn’t really matter.

Here’s the real truth from my point of view:

No matter what her circumstances, the girl you are looking at is a human being filled with hopes, fears, goals, dreams and desires. Whether you sleep with her, pay her for sex, talk to her or walk right past her, you need to confront yourself with her humanity.

Personally, I know many women in Thailand, from modest school girls to business managers, to bar girls, to housewives. Like everyone in the world, they are all different. But you’ll find that even the most hardened bar girl can be reduced to tears over a misunderstanding, and that the life she has today was built by her based on her best idea about finding her way forward towards her dreams. And I doubt that her ultimate dream was to be a bar girl.

It seems a waste of time to worry about the definition of a hooker. I jokingly (twice) offered up the idea that all women are whores to make the point that — in the end — there’s no use carrying on these discussions, whether short or lengthy, about what makes a woman a hooker. It’s just a label, and one that has even less meaning in Thailand than it does back in my hometown.

My assertion that ‘all women are whores’ (including my mother) was intended to make the point that all women (in fact all people) are driven by their dreams. The point was not to make you think about your ex-wife or your mother as a whore, but to get you to think about the whore the same way you think about your mother; to think of every one of these women as someone living life the best way she can.

Is she a go go dancer? A service girl? An office worker? A model? An actress? A flight attendant? A cashier at 7-11?

It doesn’t matter. My attitude pre-dates my move to Thailand, but especially here there’s no reason to get all hung up on the question.

This entire discussion, in my view, is driven by men’s fear of being played for a sucker. My advice is to stop being so egocentric — it’s not worth worrying about.

Concern yourself with the girl’s humanity… with her hopes, dreams and fears (whether you know what they are or not isn’t the point… the point is to simply acknowledge that they exist) and you won’t worry about whether she’s sleeping with you because of your charm and prowess in bed, or because of the dinner and drinks, or because of the 2,000 baht you handed her at the end.

She will have her own reasons and that should be enough.

Relax. Enjoy yourself. It’s Thailand.

Mai pben rai.
View all comments by werewolf