Reading the round of Bangkok bloggers one constant seems to be the onset of boredom. After banging dozens of beautiful women and becoming bored doing the same thing over and over again what can you do to delay the onset of ossification and old age?
One of the popular options chosen by popular Bangkok bloggers is to descend into a narcissistic, wallowing, self pitying depression where you pound out piece after piece, week after week whining about the rising price of beer, the rising price of barfines, greedy Go-Go girls, greedy bar owners, rich stupid Japanese guys driving up prices, HIV positive TG’s, friends with no redeeming social value, the exasperation of trying to get short ballers to act like long ballers etc. etc. etc. note 1.
These guys remind me of a malfunctioning AMRAAM air-to air missile where the radar seeker constantly and indiscriminately scans the skies looking for anything to lock onto and destroy—but in this case these guys scan the streets of Bangkok looking for anything, no matter how trivial, mundane, or ridiculous, to bitch, moan, and whine about, e.g. the price of beer going up by 50 cents, not getting the respect they think they deserve from some Go-Go mamasan, how some Go-Go girl is earning more money dancing than you are teaching English, etc. etc. etc.
Besides being boring to read, these bloggers evince an amazing lack of imagination, creativity, and initiative. There is no place in the world where the raw materials for a fun time are more abundant, accessible, and affordable than Bangkok. There is also no place in the world where pre-packaged fun is cheaper and easier to find than Bangkok. If you have $40 in your pocket and can’t find or manufacture some fun in Bangkok you might as well kill yourself because you are not going to be happy and are not going to enjoy your life no matter where you are.
Only Thailand provides the opportunity for an average Joe to do and experience things and live a life that only the rich, famous, and beautiful people live in The World.
Which brings us to the main subject of this essay.
In A Dummies Guide to Negotiating Price with TG Working Girls, I wrote,” When a farang first arrives in Thailand, the critical tool missing from the toolbox is the ability to negotiate price with working TG’s.” note 2. In that essay, I tried to provide some help starting newbies along the path to becoming proficient bargaining with TG’s.
This subject of this essay is the acquisition of a second critical tool missing from the toolbox of most Thailand newbies—the ability to get girls off. Just like in A Dummies Guide to Negotiating Price, I’ll try to provide some help to get the newbie started off on the path to becoming proficient at getting girls off.
Unless you are as handsome as Brad Pitt, rich as Ted Turner, or front man in a famous band like Mick Jagger, the vast majority of men coming to Thailand are not that good at getting women off. This is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about because, just like the newbie lacking much acumen at negotiating price with Go-Go girls, not being that good at getting women off is not your fault.
In The World, it is almost impossible for the average Joe to acquire the knowledge and experience to become proficient and skillful in this area. In the World, the average Joe just doesn’t get the chance to bang enough women and the women they do bang are not experienced enough or open minded enough to allow the experimentation and practice that you need to become proficient and skilled at getting women off–which brings us to Wonderful World of Thailand where with a limited budget, a little guidance, an open mind, and an adventurous fun loving soul, you can recruit a harem of girls happy to act as guinea pigs so that you can school yourself and open the doors to vast new arenas of fun activities with your TG’s.
Along the way you are sure to enjoy yourself immensely, bring plenty of joy as well as a little much needed cash to the TG’s around you, end up with some knowledge and experience that will produce hours of fun and joy in the future and who knows, maybe somewhere along the path you will find your soul mate or teerak among your TG students/subjects.
The first thing you are going to need is some knowledge and instructions to get you started.
I recommend She Comes First-A Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner (not available in Thailand but available on Amazon.com and from other online booksellers) note 3. I am not sure how to get this book if you are already in Thailand but if you are planning your next Thailand adventure you can buy and study it before your next trip.
This book starts with a basic roadmap to the female anatomy.
If you don’t know the difference between the front commissure, the frenulum, the fourchette, the crura, and the perineal sponge you can benefit from reading the first part of this book.
The second part of the book gives you a basic stimulation plan—a list of areas of the female anatomy that you are going to stimulate, what order to stimulate them, and what sign posts to look for as you work your way around your favorite TG.
We are not just talking about the clitoris and its hood/shaft but the secondary areas of a female’s anatomy.
Next you are going to need some basic tools. Of course, you can just rely on what nature provides but it is a lot easier and more convenient to use some technology.
The Thai government prohibits the sale of these tools, but it is perfectly legal to bring them into the country as personal items.
Because they are not available for purchase in Thailand most TG’s are somewhat naïve or inexperienced in their use—something that really increases the fun factor. Sure most TG’s have some experience getting off with a vibrator but most have never been administered to by someone really experienced and skillful in wielding them to their fullest potential.
The basic Arsenal contains three items. note 4.
First, is a good area stimulator.
There are two options here. The Hitachi Magic Wand and the Accu-Vibe. The difference between the two is that the Hitachi has a cord and the Accu-Vibe is rechargeable.
Personally, I recommend the Accu-Vibe because it is smaller and a lot less intimidating when you whip it out than the Hitachi and easier to get into action without having to plug in the attendant cord.
Both of these have large heads, a little bit smaller than a tennis ball, and are used to stimulate large areas.
Second is a spot stimulator.
Again there are two options here. The Eroscillator and the Sinclair Pleasure system. Both of these come with interchangeable heads that allow stimulation of specific areas of the female anatomy. The difference is that the Eroscillator has a cord and the Sinclair is rechargeable. Again, I recommend the Sinclair because without a cord it is a lot more maneuverable and handy while being less intimidating than the Eroscillator. The Eroscilator comes in a 220V version that won’t require a voltage converter in Thailand.
Third is a way to stimulate the G-Spot.
I recommend the E-glass series. These are made out of glass so they are easy to clean and keep sanitary and have the right curve to reach the appropriate areas inside the woman. They have a large knob on one end which makes allows a good grip and control as you move it back and forth or up and down as the situation merits.
You can read the Kerner book yourself to pick up the finer points, but basically you begin by moving around and sequentially stimulating the secondary, i.e. non clitoral areas, of the TG using the spot vibrator for the exterior spots and massaging the interior areas using the E-glass G-Spot tool .
As you proceed you watch the women for non verbal signals that key you to the woman’s arousal level taking note of the effect of stimulating different areas to different degrees. These non verbal signs are not the normal things that women typically fake but physiological responses that are impossible to simulate e.g. engorgement of various parts of the female anatomy with blood, retraction of the clitoral hood, lubrication, involuntary twitching, etc.
Every woman is different so you have to experiment to find out where, how long, how intense, and what sequence arouses any particular girl.
Once you have “booked” a particular TG, you are now in the driver’s seat and control the woman’s arousal and also when she tips over into orgasm.
Depending on your mood and inclination you can ratchet the arousal level up and down and tip her over into orgasm as you please.
You can now give your imagination, ambition, creativity, initiative, charitable impulse, and good hearted sense of fun free reign.
You can torture the TG by repeatedly pushing her arousal level up to the edge without tipping her over, push her right up to the edge and keep her there but not tip her over, give her a short quick orgasm, give her several orgasms one after the other, or once she is coming push her into multiples.
Over several weeks, you can treat your favorite TG or a succession of TG’s to the full regimen.
“ It is up to you” as they say in Thailand.
Only in Thailand can an average Joe with a limited bankroll cycle through this process with a succession of beautiful babes and become proficient, skillful, or even a master at getting girls off.
Is Thailand the greatest country in the world and the guys who get to visit or live there truly blessed?
If you have been hanging around Thailand for a long time and find yourself getting bored, if you have been to Thailand and are looking for new experiences and new ways to have some fun, or if you are a complete newbie and want to jumpstart your Thailand adventure I hope this essay has provided some food for thought and some fresh ideas about how to really, really, really enjoy your time in Thailand.
notes:
- See Users Guide to Gulliver’s Sukhumvit Soi 5 for a definition of short and long ballers.
- See The Dummies Guide to Negotiating Price with TG Working Girls by BigBabyKenny
- He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man by Ian Kerner is the companion book for women. This is an excellent gift for you TG—providing she can read English.
- For a definition of The Arsenal, read The Truth About the Japanese in Bangkok and Night Crawlers, Bottom Feeders, Break in Jobs and the Fresh Produce Market by BigBabyKenny
Brilliant!!! You started out on a sore and beaten to death subject about whining farangs but turned out a very entertaining piece.
I really wish I didn’t know you personally though because the imagery of you digging for a g-spot with the E-glass series or sitting naked on a hotel bed changing the batteries to your Accu-Vibe while your long baller is watching Thai soap operas is killing me. Not as bad as the explicit ball massage post but still.
Great stuff.
View all comments by pmmp
BBK, once a girl becomes accustomed to the toys does she become dependent on them to orgasm?
View all comments by Torn
“This subject of this essay is the acquisition of a second critical tool missing from the toolbox of most Thailand newbies—the ability to get girls off.”
Your idea of “really really really having fun in Thailand” is to pay prostitutes to have sex with you and to spend all your time, money, and effort to give THEM an orgasm?
you truly are the “hometown hero”. see note 6.
notes:
6. See In Defense of Thai Women Part 1 by BigBabyKenny for additional boring terms, writing, and analogies.
View all comments by anon
Just read this on stickman:
Everyone knows Thailand is home of the famous ladyboys. But what about tomboys? They are everywhere, but as they look so much like boys it is often difficult to spot them. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more tomboys in Thailand than ladyboys. And what makes me jealous is that their girlfriends are always very attractive girls (unlike in the West). It makes me wonder why a lovely Thai girl would choose an ugly little tomboy over a handsome Thai male. Are Thai boys really that bad?
It is so true!! Some of the hottest women ive seen in thailand have been with toms. So hot - I could even accommodate the tom to get access. And its also true - that for months you dont notice them. You think they are men. And then slowly they creep into your realisation. So what is it with these toms? A female thai friend told me that toms are known to take a lot of financial care of their gfs. Could this be a factor?
View all comments by m
Echoing Phoenix’s comment on the last BBK peice; the writing would benefit greatly if BBK would share some personal experiences. As it is, his pieces always feel soul-less; they just don’t keep my attention beyond the first couple of paragraphs. It’s like reading a high school textbook. C’mon BBK… fewer footnotes and more personalized stories!
View all comments by anonimus
Oh for the days when getting a TG off was as simple as pinning a 500Thb note to the pillow beside her head.
View all comments by Wombat
“I am not sure how to get this book if you are already in Thailand….
So I take it that you don’t actually live in Thailand?
That would explain a lot.
View all comments by werewolf
I’m sorry BBK but everything is for sale in Thailand, I’ve been told that you can buy vibrators in the Patpong area.Of course you have to know where to ask.
View all comments by hanuman
Working girl I knew hated vibrators but she used to beat the heat by keeping the silicone “copee” I gave her in the freezer
View all comments by thongsuk
Vibrators? You can buy them and cock rings, the works, just outside of Chatuchak, and on Silom between the BTS and Burger King on the Pong side. In fact any Silom hawker worth his “DVD/VCD/CD” rap can get you a copee and anything else you want. They are illegal though: buying, selling and importing them is illegal as well.
In a pinch, though, clip a condom over a banana (works wbest if you trim off that rough bit at the end
then slip a condom over your trusty Sonicare and blow the bitch to smithereens.
Handcuffs are cheap as hairclips here of course. Sexy underwear? Restraints? High-end made to spec calfskin S&M wear? An An Leather on soi 1
The higher the “so”, the softer the leather 
Don’t be shy. An An does production for Swedish and Canadian importers.
Why not blow 5000K on naughty leathers for that special someone next Halloween or next time you meet a GTG who wants to play. They ALL like the look BTW
You can even get her that leather hat like the village people guy. A Lara Croft Kit (complete with replica Brownings? . . My personal fave a couple of years ago)
Give her an underwear allowance. . . or better yet take her shopping for nasties at MBK or Central world. About six years ago I actually had a lingerie salesgirl tell me that Thai women didn’t like T-backs and that was why she didn’t have any.
Boowwwaahahaha! 
Yes, Kenny. Take that young lady shopping for sin. It’s a great anticipation builder. You’ll have her transformed into a naghty submissive in no time.
Frugaldom.com won’t cut it.
JUST SPEND THE MONEY
Anyway. That’s my information on the subject.
I am usually all confused and wrong about this shit.
View all comments by thongsuk
Geez louise, how did BBK become the blog’s punching bag? Sorry BBK and I’m also sorry that I get such a kick out of it
anonimus wrote “It’s like reading a high school textbook”
That’s one of the reasons I like BBK’s posts. It’s amusing how he talks about our favorite topics but maps them into a textbook format. It’s certainly a unique and original style to me, albeit a bit creepy
I would like to disagree with you on the “we need more personalized stories” from BBK as well. Did you read the ball massage post he did? I’m still having nightmares, all as a result of him getting way too personal
View all comments by pmmp
@Thongsuk: How successful are you at transforming TG’s in to sub’s? I thought most TG’s aren’t into S&M.
View all comments by Torn
You mean girls can orgasm too?
View all comments by Jack Dawson
Next you’ll be saying they have ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’?
View all comments by Daywalker
Torn: A lot of TG’s love the gear man. At least they’ll model it.
And I’m just talking about a little soft core posing.
Some acting out. Some dress up.
They love to play. So just keep it playful!
Nipple clips can be playful can’t they?
My idea of a little “play time” is certainly NOT some poor confused farm girl getting wax poured on her tits or some hard-assed slapper getting whipped. Fuck that. And certainly not this nonsense that’s passed off as S&M in the bars. Angelwitch … I never go near the place. And that weird joint in the Pong? Are you shittin’ me? I’d NEVER go into a place like that.
I’m really not into ANYTHING remotely heavy duty. It’s silly, it’s long term and it can get very messy emotionally. Hell, you know the post relationship shit that even the straight TG’s can pull. Who needs to be sitting behind a table in the Lumpini cop shop on the 6:00 news surrounded by S&M gear. Especially the cheap stuff
Anyway, if you know anything at all about light S&M you know that like that first sexy underwear gift or that 1000 Baht ST with the hottie that always gets 2000: it’s an ongoing exploration based more on trust and sensuality than all that awful nonsense you see on the web.
* * * *
I want to take a moment to thank BBK for opening up the toy topic.
I like to think of toys as kind of Christmasy. Right Kenny? Thanks
View all comments by thongsuk
Are there any ‘tell-tale’ signs that lets one know that it’s time they had a little break from BKK life?
View all comments by Daywalker
Um, your TGF has told you she hates the extension cord thing and you can no longer afford the batteries for your Hitachi Magic Wand on your AUA salary ;-?
Or do you, um, find the whole idea of a little geriatric S&M play slightly off-putting, perhaps?
View all comments by thongsuk
If you walk around the ground floor stalls at Pantip, you can find some small “personal” vibrators for sale but the best technology is not available inside Thailand.
In general, there are not enough rich people to create sufficient demand to support a market in most highly specialized high end items–with the possible exceptions of cameras, cellphones, and computer equipment.
And even with these items, they are frequently cheaper in the U.S. because the greater competition among multiple vendors drives margins down.
An example of this is pool cues. I tried to buy a decent stick in Thailand a while back and found the only places that had any decent cues were the Ball in Hand pool halls. Even there the cues were run of the mill sticks from the bottom end of the manufacturer’s product lines and were expensive compared to what they cost in the U.S.
Another example is high end camera equipment. There are shops in Silom and MBK that sell the full Nikon line but the prices there are the same or higher than US prices and what is for sale has a questionable provenance.
There are not enough farangs, and surely very few Thai men, willing to blow $300 on their Arsenal to make sneaking in the latest and greatest sex technology into the Kingdom an economically viable proposition.
The items mentioned in the post, the Eroscilator, Sinclair, Magic Wand, Accu-Vibe, and E-Glass are all premium items and are not cheap.
You can google them to see how much they cost online but they are far superior both in functionality, durability, and pure pleasure to use than the cheap junk for sale inside Thailand.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
This is coming from a clown who wrote a post on how he cant get a good looking go-go girl and called upon the ‘expert help’ of someone who bought swampdogs ladydrinks just to save face………….. forgive me for assuming you couldnt organise a blowie in lolitas?
View all comments by Penfold
Wow.
Buy a pool cue.
Now I’ve heard everything.
View all comments by Jack Dawson
Banned from “Ball-in-Hand”
Thanks to my intimate knowledge of the local culture and after some skillful negotiation with woodworkers and appliance repair specialists on soi Pridi Banomyong (the fixit soi) - like Home Depot on a street. you can hire tradesmen there) I contracted to have the butt-end of my breaking cue carved into the shape of a penis and then hollowed out for the cunning placement of the “works” from my Philips Sonicare electric toothbrush.
Thai chicks love me.
View all comments by thongsuk
Do you get a discount if you can get a bargirl off?
View all comments by Orion
I think u are all uptight. And is it only about the bargirls? Thai girls love to get off. If that is not clear to people who bang them then I think u need to open your eyes. Why do u think it is so easy to get thai girls, all thai girls into bed, they want to get off. So if one can get them off more then they keep coming back. Most of my freebird scenarios are from girls who love to get off and come back for more. The few I have been with that either have some toys or got toys with me - are the most sexual girls I know. They also love other women and love to use the toys with them. I still can’t get over the 2 naked thai girls on my couch using my double headed dildo after they had already used, exhausted me. It’s all good. Nice one BBK.
View all comments by smitty
“bring plenty of joy as well as a little much needed cash to the TG’s around you”
Getting Thai girls off is fun, but I object to bringing them cash if you put in that effort.
View all comments by Orion
I think the problem people have with BBK is that he can come across as more than a little condescending. Nothing wrong with that if, like me, you’re always right. That said, certain aspects of his posts tend to suggest that he’s actually rather new to Bangkok.
This piece read to me as “You losers probably don’t know how to get a girl off. So I, The Great BBK, will tell you how to do it”.
Personally, I just stick my enormous wang in them.
View all comments by TAFKABBB
Penfold: Give Kenny a break. He wasn’t the clown who couldn’t score in a go-go bar. I was.
For the record, I also once failed to get a beer at the Munich Beer Festival.
View all comments by On Nutter
So, after you’ve ‘got the girl off’.. do you…
1) sleep in the wet patch?
2) wipe her down with a warm flannel
3) take her to the shower and wash her
4) go and watch tv whilst she sleeps/snores/farts
5) wait 10 mins for her to get ‘power’ back.. and give it to her again?
View all comments by Daywalker
6) demand that she pay you 1000bht
View all comments by Orion
Daywalker, Orion: Ever heard of trying to get a regular girlfriend or regular fuckbuddy off? Maybe even after you got off yourself? BBK din’t give any time shedule or specify a certain type of girl. Smitty made a good point here.
I personally do make the effort to get my regular GTG off. For Freelancers or other otehr working girls I do care that they enjoy being with me, but I don’t really care if they come or not. Maybe an exception would be if I would chose to be with one over several days in a row. When they get wet, I assume it is ok for them and it’s all good for me.
Until today, I never used any mashine and would be so bold to state that I know how to make a girl come quite well if I want her to come, without any technical device.
BBK: I didn’t read your entire post, it’s still too academical for me, but that’s just my personal taste. I also think most of the readers here know how to make a girl come. But keep up your diligent posting! I can also always extract something useful information for me or some new food for further thought from your posts, which I cannot say of the majority of the comments here, which is very sad indeed.
View all comments by Phoenix
Well said Phoenix. A big thank-you to BBK for letting us all know how ‘pleasure’ a girl.
I look forward to finding out how to suck eggs next.
View all comments by Daywalker
@ smitty
You’re double headed dildo??? You and PMMP are into some kimky stuff…you guys scare me…
View all comments by lovemachine
Yeah, I mean what TAFKABBB said (except for the part about the ‘enourmous wang’… I wish!)
Read TAFKABBB’s post 3 times, then multiply by 5 and that’s how I feel about all of BBK’s posts. He just sounds like a guy who hasn’t done it, telling me exactly how to do it.
As Sister Michael Anthony — God rest her soul — used to say when she taught me at Holy Trinity School, reading BBK’s posts “sets my teeth on edge”.
C’mon Kenny! Tell us a story about how this has worked for you before (or failed for that matter!). Tell us about the Thai girl who came begging for more.
Instead of telling me the title of the book to buy (that you say may be unavailable in Thailand anyway), explain to me exactly how to insert my finger (or the vibrator) and find the spot.
Describe the sound of a Thai girl begging you to get her over the precipice and into the promised land, then tell me about your neighbor calling the police about all the screaming and begging coming from your apartment.
Even you characterize your blogs as “essays”. Fuck the essays! You write essays to get a decent grade in your English Lit class. Tell me some stories that let me know that you’ve been there, done that and that you got the tee-shirt!
You’ve got good themes, and you’ve cut your writing from 5,000 words to less than 2,000 over the past few blogs. Now give us some feeling; something to hang onto to tell us that you’ve done more than read a book about vibrators.
Your writing has improved dramatically over the past few months — now take the final step. Stop writing ‘how to’ books to an audience that seems to be more experienced than you.
Here’s what I’d like to see:
Kill the footnotes. Forget about the “BBK lexicon” of ‘hometown hero’, ’shortball’, ‘longball’ and the seemingly unending poker analogies and just tell me in clear English about your experiences and what you have learned from them.
If you start doing that, I’ll start reading your posts from start to finish, instead of being the same as Phoenix, who said, “I didn’t read your entire post, it’s still too academical for me, but that’s just my personal taste.”
I admire smitty, pmmp and onnutter for telling the good, the bad and the ugly about their experiences in Thailand. They all have different styles, but what they share in common is that they tell real stories to explain their themes.
Please, mate, you’re so close! Just put some feeling and some real life in it and I’ll be convinced you’re a great blogger!
Until then, to me you’re just a dude who seems to know even even less than I do, but writes about it.
PS - I do like the pictures and diagrams. For your next blog can you get some photos of naked girls!???
View all comments by anonimus
@ Phoenix: Thank you for your insights here. I think you’ve made a direct observation on a kind of sliding scale that we should all (including BBK) have a real good look at.
At one end of this scale we have the “soft” (yeah, soft as in molten) core “looking” hardcore pros who will want to CHARGE YOU for making them fake cumming. That’s right.
Anything you do to them is just “your thing”, pal and they will want money for letting you use their pussies to do it unless you nail it down in negotiations.
Yep. Sure. She knows you’ve taken a dick pill or assumes it. And she’ll do you till you roll off or roll her off. And she’ll do the full two hours, maybe three. You’ll get all the pops you can come up with. (they know the action down there.)
She may even ask you with a smile when she knows there’s only mouse tears left, if you want more. (And, sorry, NO you won’t get that “blow me form soft to hard” action from a pro UNLESS THERE”S BEEN A RENEGOTIATION. Why would a firefighter toss a Molotov when the truck’s heading back to the station so the crew can take a break
When you’re really done, I’m afraid it’s just “Bubeye honey, see you next time :-)” and they’re back to the bar!
Short timer pros and some go-go fucksters fall into this “professional” category. They’ll deliver (I’m not talking about scammers here.) But they certainly do not want to fuck around with vibrators and copees once YOU’VE popped. Or once the two hours are up. Okay maybe three. Instead of her moaning and groaning for the higher speed you may get her saying “ok, long time but I have to go early.” Gee, and you were being sooo selfless and all wanting to make her come. What a Mensch
Unless SHE really wants to and YOU really want her to slide up towards that GF end of the scale this is the play. (Yeah, you may be able to swindle her into wanting to lobby for GF status but if you succeed (swindling) and then you gas her there’s gonna be HELL to pay. Bet on it.
Back to Phoenix’s scale (sorry there, Phoenix
)
On this other end, this GF end of the scale, we have soft core looking hotties, nymphettes, gators (my avatar
who might be your regular fuck buddies and even (gasp) your own loving wife 
These gals will offer to know and trust you or would like to know and trust you and some would even like to know and trust you more than you can stand.
And just to prove this, they’ll open themselves or even initiate sexual experimentation or extreme sport-ism to show you just that. They are different than the pros but again, it’s up to the individual whether he wants to swindle them or play them straight.
Then there are all these degrees in between.
Kenny, I appreciate all your efforts to “spell it out” for us. But you premise your whole model on some pretty offensive suppositions. I will leave it for others to identify them but to generalize, I’d say your introductory broad brush critique of the blogging style of others was 100% unrelated to your topic and it was demeaning to those of us who’ve lived here for years and have commented on the “circus hotdig” aspect that’s crept into Bkk action..
And then I’d have to say your assumption that a lot of us have been porking away here without knowing what we’re doing or where it gos or what happens to a woman’s body is patently insulting and somewhat laughable. Most of us know that stuff Kenny. You found out in that book, Well good for you. We already knew. Can you see how you assumption we didn’t might just rankle a tad?
Then I’d say that by not even raising the point Phoenix made and upon which I have commented in far too many words for my own comfort level you have ignored another broad stretch of male sexuality. And you’ve done that to serve your own purpose. You have also ignored the fact that there are loads of women out there who don’t need vibrators or don’t want them. They have a cock or twelve in their lives. And they might even argur that THAT too is “for the man”
The longer you stay here . . . . Well let’s just say that Bangkok guru’s and barstool whorist know-it-alls are a dime a dozen.
F’chrissakes Kenny, don’t combine THAT style with the here’s how to fuck women thing.
I have been getting women to let me play with their pussies since I was a little boy.
Believe me, thst’s helluva long time. Most of that time it’s been free.
Here it’s almost free.
I know what I’m doing. But I’ll, um, have a look at that book when your finished, just the same if you don’t mind.
View all comments by thongsuk
i like pineapples.
View all comments by myrth
@ On Nutter & BBK - my bad got you mixed up
As long as i get my ‘jester shoes’ thats all that matters if im whoring it
View all comments by Penfold
I wrote in the comments to some other post that when someone writes a thoughtful comment I think it is bad manners to not reply so I’ll do my best here.
There are three themes running through all these comments:
1)There is no reason to worry about or put any effort into getting off your TG or any girl you are hanging with.
2)If the TG is working, you would be an idiot and a dupe if you wasted time and effort getting the TG off.
3)It is not fun to get a TG, multiple TG’s, or a procession of TG’s off.
I don’t like people telling me how to run my life, spend my money, or how to have fun.
I like making my own decisions and living with the consequences.
I actually find the great adventure of it all one of the great joys in life.
Even when I make stupid bonehead mistakes and end up suffering the consequences I still enjoy the thrill and adventure of the whole experience.
The Frank Sinatra song My Way, the Robert Frost poem A Road Less Travelled and the Rudyard Kipling Poem, If, express this philosophy eloquently.
So I am not the person to tell guys who think 1, 2, and 3 they are wrong. If in their own heads they are satisfied and happy with what they are doing it is none of my business to tell them otherwise.
I will say that I personally find it to be a lot of fun and immensely enjoyable to be around people who are themselves having fun and enjoying themselves and I wholeheartedly and without reservation recommend that you try it.
This especially applies to girls in and out of the bedroom.
No matter how beautiful the girl, it is just not much fun to hang around with a Debbie Downer wet blanket party pooping cry baby who is never happy, never satisfied, never smiles and unerringly finds something negative to harp on in every situation—girls who are like a black hole for fun that sucks the laughter and joy out of the universe around them.
Maybe if you are some mopey depressed sad sack looking to find someone to share your misery with you might seek out and enjoy the company of these type of chicks, but I don’t.
So if I can be the catalyst that creates the fun, in and out of the bedroom, I feel like I am making the lives of those around me better while simultaneously enjoying my own life a little more.
This is especially true in Thailand where the girls are from poor and disadvantaged backgrounds because the everyday reality of being poor and downtrodden is that it sucks.
And, of course, I am not blind to and am completely comfortable with the monetary aspects.
These girls are poor so, of course, they think about and are worried about money.
Can you really blame them or fail to understand where they are coming from?
Are you really so cold hearted and narcissistic that you don’t feel a little compassion for TG’s?
Wouldn’t it warm your heart a little knowing that you have in some small way and at little cost to yourself improved the life and brought a little ray of sunshine into a babealicous TG’s otherwise dreary downtrodden existence?
Personally, I don’t see the downside, don’t think I am being duped or scammed in any way, and don’t understand the source of all the negativity and hate in some on the comments.
There also seems to be a reading comprehension problem among some of the commentors.
The title of the post is Fresh Ideas about Really Really Really Having Fun in Thailand. The executive summary of the post is “if your bored here is something to try that you might enjoy.”
I don’t see the condescension or any criticism about what others do, and nowhere did I represent myself as some type of oracle.
Think of the post like one of Pmmmp’s pizza posts. I went to a restaurant , ordered the pepperoni and sausage pizza added some crushed red peppers and grated parmesan, and thought it was tasty.
So if your bored, looking for a good pizza, and have the inclination why not try going to the same the restaurant and order the same pepperoni and sausage pizza add some crushed red peppers and some grated parmesan?
Maybe you will think it tastes as good as I did.
If you don’t like it no harm no foul, nothing gained nothing lost, ca la vie.
No reason to become a hater.
BigBabyKenny
P.S.
@werewolf. I think Amazon.com delivers to Thailand. I am not sure what postage costs though because I never had any books delivered to Thailand.
@anonimus. Do you really want to hear another impossible to verify, half made up fairy tale from some full of himself dude where he goes on and on about what a great lover he is, how he made some fictional girl scream with pleasure, how some girl allegedly begged for more, etc., etc. etc.? Isn’t my approach better? Where I point the direction to some raw materials that you can use to create your own adventure instead of living vicariously through the half baked fantasies of someone else?
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@smitty: Double headed dildo! With two TG’s! Naked! You’re my hero!
View all comments by MunchMouth
@BBK: The tone in all your posts is a — in my view — condescending and when I read them I feel offended.
Obviously I’m not completely alone here. I’ll borrow Thongsuk’s paragraphs:
“And then I’d have to say your assumption that a lot of us have been porking away here without knowing what we’re doing or where it gos or what happens to a woman’s body is patently insulting and somewhat laughable. Most of us know that stuff Kenny. You found out in that book, Well good for you. We already knew. Can you see how you assumption we didn’t might just rankle a tad?”
Kenny, I don’t want any fairy tales from you. But if you think vibtrators and toys are a great way to go, I’d like to hear you tell me about your own experience with them, and let me make up my own mind about whether they will work for me.
You ask the question: isn’t your approach better? Well, obviously I don’t think it is.
I think your posts are text-book dry and seem to rest on the theory that you know something the rest of us don’t, without offering anything in the way of real life to make your stuff credible. The generic, impersonal quality of your stuff means that it could be written by a salaryman in Japan, a construction worker in Liverpool or an English teacher in Bangkok, because none of it tells me where the knowledge comes from (unless its from a book you read or a poker game you played.)
Until you put some of yourself into your posts they will continue to read like essays written by a high school student who did his research by reading a magazine article and then checking Wikipedia for a few facts.
In my earlier comment I identified three bloggers (smitty, pmmp and onnutter) as the models that I think you could emulate. I imagine it was unintentional on your part, but you seem to have characterized their writings as “impossible to verify, half made up fairy tales… ” Shame on you.
I suggest that you go read the posts from these three bloggers; they are as likely to write about the mistakes they made as the triumphs. They establish their credibility as bloggers through this process of telling it like it is, sharing the experience of learning about Bangkok, and then offering their conclusions about what it means — or simply inviting the readers to draw their own conclusions. Hardly anything I’d characterize as ” half baked fantasies”.
So, no Kenny, I emphatically do NOT think your approach is better.
I said already that I think your stuff has improved greatly over time but, in my (not so humble) opinion, I would like to see you fill out your admittedly interesting themes with some real life. Then I’ll start to read your posts with real interest. Until then I’ll read them with the interest that an essay deserves.
View all comments by anonimus
Shit, I hate double-posting, but I just can’t help myself.
Kenny, you wrote: “Think of the post like one of Pmmmp’s pizza posts. I went to a restaurant , ordered the pepperoni and sausage pizza added some crushed red peppers and grated parmesan, and thought it was tasty.
So if your bored, looking for a good pizza, and have the inclination why not try going to the same the restaurant and order the same pepperoni and sausage pizza add some crushed red peppers and some grated parmesan?
Maybe you will think it tastes as good as I did.”
That’s the point!!! pmmp tells us about the pizza, how it tasted and exactly what he thought and felt about it. You just tell us that you read a book with a great recipe for delicious pizza. Surely you can see the difference!?
And if you wonder why I get offended by your posts, consider this passage from your blog: “the vast majority of men coming to Thailand are not that good at getting women off. This is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about because, just like the newbie lacking much acumen at negotiating price with Go-Go girls, not being that good at getting women off is not your fault.”
Could you be any more condescending???!!! I don’t think so.
View all comments by anonimus
“Do you really want to hear another impossible to verify, half made up fairy tale from some full of himself dude”
- Just to let you all know… I can verify that pmmp DOES know his pizzas.
View all comments by Daywalker
Hi Kenny
I threw in the term ’sliding scale’ but then went on to only talk about the female side.
Wrongly, I assumed the “male scale” was familiar enough to us all and most readers would automatically apply their own “male scale” counterpart to the female scale I outlined and then “GET” the dynamic aspect.
Perhaps you chose not to do because that might have “sillified” your “video grab” approach to social commentary.
I’ve always preferred film to snaps.
In your last “re-direct”, in order to make your points and to rebutt the comments, you just continue to ignore the dynamics as well as all those moods that are so much in play.
Maybe it’s a poker thing. Maybe this pays off where the dynamics are more pedestrian. I dunno.
As well, although you claim to be the guy who’s “viewing these girls as people”, for the purposes of nailing your points and your re-direct, you seem constrained to “freeze all your players in amber”.
Especially the men.
In doing so for the purposes of strengthening your position, you would deprive the whole subject of human sexuality of its myriad dynamic aspects. I’m sure you don’t mean to make the men in your model so flat and uncaring and dumb (unless they do as you do)
But you do.
Check this out:
After you ignored this critical, vital dynamic aspect and the mood thing you went on to produce three reactive “straw men” i.e.
“1)There is no reason to worry about or put any effort into getting off your TG or any girl you are hanging with. (Huh?)
2)If the TG is working, you would be an idiot and a dupe if you wasted time and effort getting the TG off. (Sliding scale approach knocks this one over, Kenny)
3)It is not fun to get a TG, multiple TG’s, or a procession of TG’s off.” (Who said this?)
Nobody said 1 or 2, Kenny and point three falls if one considers this sliding scale factor. But they’re easy to blow up, these straw men you made and that’s why you made ‘em.
Anyway, I’m gonna stop here because I’m an environmentalist and I think I’m wasting too mut paper
But listen Kenny I appreciate your submissions. You put a lot of effort into organizing your thoughts and running a thread and I just wish I had your patience to do that.
Perhaps you might consider that dynamic thing and integrate it into your work. (which I find interesting . More interesting than Post Nation editorials I’ll tell ya. (Even tho’ I am a confirmed political junkie!)
Your writing is a lot clearer and as I may have said before it is quite entertaining to read someone else’s POV. You took a book you enjoyed reading and you wove it into a commentary on you fellow chaps here in Bkk.
So like, kin, ya gimme that book when yer done? I know a guy who might need, like, to refresh his awesomw knowledge of the, um, territory.
View all comments by thongsuk
@MM “Double headed dildo! With two TG’s! Naked! You’re my hero!”
Available at no extra charge at Eden Club
View all comments by KTBanker
on the dildo thing. say what u will but taking 2 bi curious girls and introducing them to toys makes eden club look just way too formulaic for me. I continue to say the best 3somes in the world are the ones you pull together but it takes a lot more work, time and money. Eden is always there though to get your appetite wet but I think it just leaves you yearning for the real thing.
I think BBK is on to something and any of the girls I know who got into toys in some small way have been the ones with the most sexual openness and just a tad bi-curious.
View all comments by smitty
*(sigh)*
You kids
View all comments by thongsuk
Can anyone recommend a book one how to give a good thai massage. I’m terrible at it.
View all comments by yes man
BigBabyKenny,
I think your post was excellent. Keeo up the good work. Looking forward to try a few of these things when I visit BKK for the first time.
View all comments by Inver
I hope to move on into this area after I’ve mastered the bringing-myself-off thing; after forty years of naked penis pleasure I find the required rubbering-up drastically inhibiting my happy finish, and in my experience a happy finish for me, the customer, is as much of a happy finish for her, the service provider, as I’m prepared to care about under the circumstances (ie a contract entered into with a representative of the sex industry).
I’ve found that the traditional, biblical method of rug-munching (mouthing the alphabet is good, as is lipsynching to the Abba hit of your choice) is perfectly adequate to the task of making a BG squeak, if I feel up to it.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Q. How long does it take a Thai Bar Girl to reach orgasm?
A. Who cares?
View all comments by The Asian Badger
am i the only one who finds the thought of rug-munching a TBG totally repulsive? probably due to my being brought up in fly over territory.
View all comments by go go groupie
ggg: it is pretty raw but always seems like a good idea at the time, usually because of alcohol consumption. Personally, I stopped for a while after hearing my friends agonizing story about the yeast infection he got on his tongue. A month of pain getting rid of it.
I only venture south these days if I’ve known the girl for a while (2nd date at least
) and if she really enjoys it.
Some girls I run into though block the path down there citing bad smell or that time of the month as the reason. I would say that when a girl does that it kills the mood but I would be lying.
View all comments by pmmp
TAB - LOL
ggg - I would rather lick the soles of my shoes
View all comments by Orion
Well, gee, aren’t we a bunch of fine-mouthed sexual gourmands? Poisonally, I never go down on a girl I wouldn’t go up on. And it’s for my pleasure, first and foremost, so if there’s any hint of frowstiness, insect life, skin issues, or just too much thatch, it’s off the menu. But go ahead and play Santa; carry a bag full of toys around with you if you object to the occasional juicy slice of hair pie.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Pants: Lots of B-gals just wanna get the work done (but, done WELL to industry standards as they see them) and head back for a soul-strengthening session of sisterly inclusionary ritual from their coven back at the bar.
One very sexy Patpong ST-mer told me that when punters go down on her and need to feel they are (in the words of George Costanza) “pleasuring” her, she lets him slurp around all they want. In the absence of any encouraging fake moans they’d usually get the message after 10 or 15 minutes. She rarely has to tell them.
Now she DID say she had “played sex” with one or two guys who’d REALLY turned her on but that that was a whole different ball game, so mabba Kenny was in there somewhere with his bag of tricks
She had me kill the sound on her phone games and her keyboard so she could fiddle with that while the more persistent love monkeys dined at her cum dump. Her attitude was that some guys just had to feel they were sending her to the moon and it wasn’t worth hassling about it. She did worry a bit about about her smell and the occasional aftertaste of the previous trick’s flavored condom! Strawberry was the worst to get out she dais. She’d say it was a douche she used.
Poo (Camelot 03 - 06 ret’d) said that she could cum ANYTIME when she got on top. Never doggie-style. This one’s toes (on both feet) curled up when she gave head
Just like a “Lam Thai” dancer’s. Gotta love THAT. Said her the inside of her mouth got “sieow” when she really liked a guy.
Vibrators? She said that last time she’d counted, including boyfriends, she figured she’d fucked about 6-700 different guys. Probably a conservative estimate ’cause she wouldn’t tell me how many Thai guys she’d fucked.
That’s 6-700 different guys, and most of them were over 40.
She’d do it, but toys were way, way down the list.
View all comments by thongsuk
TS, nice info. From my own experiences with normal GF’s I can say they usually come best when I was munching away their cunt or they sit on top of me. Also never came doggie style. Damn, how I love to come doggie style
View all comments by Phoenix
Phoenix: Web porn came into the lives of many hot ex-UNI GTG’s for the first time when they hit the workplace in the early 1990’s. By the mid nineties they’s seen it ALL.
In my office, packs of giggling Thai office goofs would Scotch tape expensive color laser printouts of BJ’s, cuntlick fests, and other extremely heavy duty porn to the monitors of the hottest girls in the office. No one was safe. It was an epidemic of sanook and it didn’t stop until some asshole started posting up pics of Thai pornsters.
Then it became obscene and managers clamped down.
The GTG ex-UNI poontang reaction to these clear cum shots, fat cocks and grabs of super hot porn stars getting their pussies licked were worth the price of admission. (at that time, underpaid rewrite work
These Thai office girls would ASK me about all this shit. (Straight deal) You’ll never understand the frustration of knowing your youth is slipping away until an amazingly hot ex-Uni puss blushes away while she quizzes you on whether farangs really actually DO “kgin hoy” If they all do it. etc. And then sits back down ans goes back to crossing and uncrossing her legs during furtive smut-surf sessions with the girls(the Hun, Ampland were faves, I remember) .
I called it the beginning of the golden age.
Back then, Thai guys expected their BJ’s at the AbOpNuat but they’d rarely admit to eating pussy and certainly NOT to each other. So if Thai guys were doin’ that REGULARLY they’re being awful quiet about it. And fer shure they weren’t enjoyin’ it.
They still don’t boast about it much and they laugh about us doin’ it.
Just my feelin’s on the matter.
Fact IS as a lot of us are fully aware, a lotta GTG’s just love the idea of getting their cracks licked.
BUT
BG’s, in my limited experience of course, are mostly indifferent.
But it really does depend on the punter. And an afore mentioned sliding scale.
Did you really want head from a fat 45 year-old-slapper when you were in your prime
View all comments by thongsuk
1 I can tell the diff when/if she’s faking it.
2 I don’t care.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Phoenix: Are you saying you take it up the arse?!
View all comments by Daywalker
TS: yes, I think it’s important to differentiate who is receiving the oral pleasures - a uni girl, GTG or just a FL or BG. To the latter two I would also never (ups, maybe I should never say never?) deliver my tongue to their cunt.
Daywalker: Man, you crack me up. Didn’t you notice the ladyboy you banged yesterday was me? Ok, four Long Island Ice Tea’s cause temporary memory loss, understood. You are a good kisser though….
View all comments by Phoenix
TS: My regular GTG has several short Japanese porn movies on her mobile phone. She got them via bluetooth from a female colleague in her office. On my last recent visit to BKK she showed them to me as if it was as normal as showing me pics of her family. I love Thailand.
View all comments by Phoenix
erm.. you’ll have to narrow it down a bit. Which one of the 4 were you?
Sorry, but I faked the kissing.
Oh, and thanks for paying.
View all comments by Daywalker
“she quizzes you on whether farangs really actually DO “kgin hoy” If they all do it. etc.”
Canned reply for new girlfriend: “Where I come from cool couples bring a bisexual girl into the bedroom to do it because girls are much better at it than men… hey let’s try that sometime”
View all comments by Orion