Ugly go-go dancers home in on me like a cruise missile locked on to an aircraft carrying Osama bin Laden. It has always been this way. Each time I walk through those magic curtains, the sloppy seconds of Thai womanhood descend on me before I can say “Tiger beer”.
When I walk into a bar alone and see other solo drinkers happily enjoying the show without being harassed by desperate slappers, I am encouraged that, perhaps just once, I might be allowed the same privilege. Yet within seconds two flabby Isaan hands appear from behind me and begin a neck massage. I turn around to see a middle-aged porker with bad breath and a lascivious sneer who would be better employed selling fish in Udon Thani.
This unwanted interloper then shakes my hand, which seems a ludicrously formal gesture in a gogo bar, before giving me the Isaan Inquisition (where you flom?…you have Thai wife?), demanding a lady-drink and then asking me to pay a 600-baht barfine for the dubious privilege of being seen with her in public.
All around me I can see gorgeous dancers and service girls for whom I would happily buy a drink or pay a barfine, yet I cannot get near them because I am engaged in a pointless conversation with a minger. Usually I just concede defeat, pay my bill and move to another bar – where the same thing happens again.
The hardliners out there (yes, I mean you, Jack Dawson) will be saying to themselves: “Why doesn’t he just tell them to eff off?” I have tried the assertive approach and while it does get rid of them, it causes a loss of face and a cooling of the atmosphere. You are meant to be having fun but instead are receiving glares from across the bar. You end up leaving anyway.
No, I decided there must be a more subtle strategy. It was time to call in a go-go coach.
Sam is a Bangkok old hand who has seen better days but always walks out of go-go bars with Miss Thailand while I go home with only my palm for company. I called him and said I needed help. He agreed to meet me in Country Road in Soi Cowboy for a counselling session.
“Things are getting pretty bad, Sam,” I confided as the band blasted out Hotel California. “I want to go into go-go bars to meet attractive women, but the ugly ones stop me getting to them. Where am I going wrong?”
As he scrolled through his database of hot go-go dancers on his mobile phone (mine has only my mother’s number), he pondered awhile before announcing with some gravitas: “It’s all about body language. You look too friendly. You get bothered by the ugly ones because they know they can get away with it. They sense weakness.”
I told him that I had tried being rude with them but that had spoiled the party vibe and left me feeling guilty.
“You must never cause them to lose face,” he agreed. “I use expressions and gestures to get the message across in a non-confrontational way. It’s probably best if you watch me in action. Let’s go.”
We walked over the road to Rawhide for showtime. There was a problem here – there were no ugly dancers. Every last one was either attractive or drop-dead gorgeous. Obviously, this meant no one came near me. We had two beers and moved on to Dollhouse.
Bingo! We had no sooner sat down than a minger wrapped herself around Sam. Thankfully, I remained unmolested and could watch the master at close quarters. Honestly, it was high art – a bit like watching Michelangelo painting The Last Judgement on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel.
When the girl tried to grab his dick, he politely but firmly moved her hand away. When she tried to kiss him, he turned his head away. When she asked for a Cola, he smiled and told her to take her time. Eventually, he moved his knees into a defensive position so that she could not get too near him. I was in awe.
Then came the coup de grace. Sam’s tormentor climbed on stage and started dancing next to an absolute stunner. This was the girl Sam wanted and he began smiling at her and his minger simultaneously while making a drinking gesture to the babe. At the end of their shift, the babe sat down next to him. He bought her a drink and also rewarded the rejected girl with a Cola.
“Everyone is happy,” said Sam. “I have the girl I want and the other girl hasn’t lost face and has a drink. There was no need for any confrontation or rudeness. Are you taking all this in?”
Indeed I was and, whether through luck or the aura being exuded by the go-go guru, I soon had a cutie gyrating happily on my lap. We paid our barfines and headed home with our prizes.
Thanks, coach.
Just tell them u have no money.
Or better yet - just tell them u only have enough money for this beer and then the bus home.
they will be off in a shot. elementry.
this guy doesnt sound like a master at all. he bought some fat bird a drink and propigated her ability to nuiscance. No drinks for her in a month and she will be binned. This “master” is actually an architect of your problem.
U lose by even being concerned about a hookers “face”. she isnt concerned about yours. What the hell are you doing?!
If u want the hot bird - just get the “mummy” over. tell her to get this bird. or better yet - tell the fat bird to go and get her.
View all comments by m
“he couldnt’t pull in a brothel”
- isnt that a saying?
View all comments by m
Have to agree with some of what M says here. this so called guru simply isn’t. from the sounds of things your problem is that you’re simply engaging with the wrong people. Ignoring the minger totally is the way to go. You don’t need to be rude, in fact you don’t need to do anything, when the hands come on the neck just scrunch your shoulders up, when she wants to shake hands take off to the toilet or or just smile a little and don’t. basically jsut “blank” her and turn to the cuties and offer a drink. Anotehr is to say you’re waiting for your girlfriend to finish dancing, if she asks which one pick the cutest and say her.
Another strategy is to buy the mamasans drinks - any fat, ugly hopers that come along with hand extended - just ignore and buy mama another drink. Then tell Mama why you’re there.
The face thing exists but it actually isn’t that big a deal - not buying a girl a drink is NOT causing her to lose face - that’s bull. telling her to eff off is just impolite and not necessary. The thing is buying a drink for a cutie is not giving her face it’s just business.
View all comments by Psi100th
I agree with the point about being “too nice”. But the idea that somehow a slapper in a gogo can lose face is utter bollocks.
The best way to get ride on an unwanted sales person is to totally ignore them. Imagine a tele sales person rang u up and you said absolutly nothing on the phone. They would soon hang up.
Same in a bar. I just totally ignore anyone I want to.
Don’t make eye contact and never shake anyones hand! Yeah and never never NEVER ever wai in a bar. You look a total twat.
However standing with your back to the stage is a good one. It shows you have been there/done that etc.
It also helps if, like me, you are somewhat aloof and like to look down on people.
Also I have never been into a gogo alone unless i know for certian i was meeting someone in there. That way you always have someone to talk to and not just sit there staring!
View all comments by MSB
Lie to them
Ignore them
Don’t worry about how they feel
Turn your back to them
Appear aloof
I wonder where the Thai bar girls learned all their bad manners from?
OnNutter: You’ve produced another funny piece about Bangkok to add to your list of great writing. The point is well taken… relaxing and having fun doesn’t mean you have to be taken for a sucker, and, as Daywalker recently mentioned in a comment on this website, good manners cost nothing.
View all comments by werewolf
ww- What OnNutter was talking about was …
- being harassed by desperate slappers
- a middle-aged porker with bad breath and a lascivious sneer
- unwanted interloper
- the Isaan Inquisition
- demanding a lady-drink
… and the reply was written in response to that. As I stated being impolite is not necessary, ignoring unwanted attention whether it is the drunken lout from London or the desperate slapper from Issan is an individuals right and not bad manners.
Forcing yourself on someone is bad manners and in the better bars ie. BM it didn’t happen. I also think you misunderstood my point about “you’re waiting for your girlfriend to finish dancing, if she asks which one pick the cutest and say her” - that’s telling the truth - she is going to be your gf she just doesn’t know it yet
Most of the time I like your writing and agree with much of what you write about both here and on your own blog - in this case I agree with the sentiment of what you are saying, however I think you missed the point of Onnutters post which was - how do i get rid of someone who is ugly AND has bad manners.
View all comments by Psi100th
I’ve seen working girls lose face and get mighty joe pissed off but never over not being bought a drink. Most if not all of the time it’s when they’ve gone with a Punter already and then that Punter takes a different girl from the same bar later on. Also, not sure if it’s a face loss thing or a money loss thing but they do get pissed. Advice from past posts if you are interested in butterflying in the same bar is to lay that all out up front but even that doesn’t work sometimes.
The other loss of face I’ve seen is when one bar girl strikes another in front of everyone. I’ve heard “she hit me in front of everyone so now I have to kill her”.
One other piece of advice ON, maybe you should go to the Ultimate Self Proclaimed GoGo Guru for a second round. You can find him at AW working as an asst. asst. asst. Manager not responsible for the bar, shows, music, or anything else for that matter. This guy really knows his stuff. No, he doesn’t actually go to any GoGos or barfine but people come into AW and tell him about GoGo’s. That is the kind of Guru you need. He is also an expert on running businesses in Thailand despite his hired help status so we will be consulting him on the new Mango as well. Maybe we can get a 2-for-1 deal on GoGo and Business consultation
View all comments by pmmp
@pmmp - lol, and yeah you’re right on the BG thing with Punters taking other girls from the same bar unless they have stated up front.
One thing you are dead right about is that the people who cause BG’s to lose face the most are … other BG’s. That’s the way of it.
As for “guru’s” - jeez we’re talking about getting laid in Bangkok how hard can it be?
View all comments by Psi100th
For a moment, just imagine yourself to be a cool Thai punter/monger who’s just been approached by one of these droop-assed, Neanderthal, douches with bad breath and no manners.
(Really, aren’t some of them really far more repellent than toilet ladies in the bus stations ;-? Actually, some toilet ladies . .
Remember, this aggressively rude, fat-assed scrag who has OPTED to stumble around half naked, trolling for drunks, and “leverage” in dimly lit go-go bars, is there to troll dummies and “wai-guys” who are actually fukcing stoopid enough to consider that this ditch-pig even HAS “face” issues. (That’s your “inner Thai monger” talking to you - Listen to him!
Ignore the “Mamasan” You don’t need her.
(What the fuck IS her job anyway except to chisel hundreds of baht off the fresher gals who might just be a little shy!
Fukc man, that’s YOUR job!
You really figure a hot pro gives a shit or will perform any better when she’s been forced, Jap-style to come to you? . . . and has to kick out to this “mamasan parasite” to boot ;-?
Ok.
Make eye contact with the hottest bitch in the place SMILE and offer her a drink. Ignore the “mommasan”, if she comes around anyway, ask her what she wants. Tell her that you’ll call her of you need her. Make jokes about her to the girl! That’s right. Tell the hottie OUTRIGHT that you don’t see why she needs this scheming bitch at all ! That it’s HER who has to fukc the punter after all!!
Meanwhile, With a smile, blow off and/or ignore the hottie’s “friends” who hang around for a that “remora cola” advising you to take “two lady” Alternatively tip them ten baht to get lost.
!
(The very idea of being anywhere NEAR this hosebag naked, is as disgusting to the hottie as it is to you
Offer the hottie more drinks.
Check her out. (No fukcing mai tais, (AND beware bar “tequilas” . . . sooner or later in ALL bars they’re ALL watered down.
The BG can even specify that to the bartendee!!!!)
See if she’ll get pissed with you. Offer her another one.
“Open her up.” “Zoom her” yeah . . . seduce her OUT of all that shyte she’s been “taught” by the hosebag bar-turds and the greedy, racist cunt “mamsans”. Show her your generous side (tip) without your having to kick out to the parasites around her.
Unless you never got laid back home and have NO idea how to talk to a woman besides playing into the notion that you have to be stoopid to be appealing, charm the bitch. WORK HER, for fukc sakes
Go ONLY with pros who can at least PRETEND they want to be with you.
Suss out her deal. If you click, give HER the barfine and tell HER to get it transacted before she changes. (This face for her costs you nothing.) At at least some point in this preamble, hint to her that in your world, BG’s who take calls on their phones or whose phones even go off when you’re short-timing her LOSE MONEY.
If that’s clear everything else will fall into place.
Tell her you’re paying for service and if she star-fishes you, (nawn-lak = “sleep fuck” . . . there’s even a Thai term for this !) you’ll “purple” her.
Entertain her with the story of how you or your friend once grabbed the shoes and purse of a non-performer and tossed them down the hall towards the lift!
She knows about all this shit anyway. She’ll respect you.
If she doesn’t, you’re just cutting your losses.
There’s always the Nana Disco or SOL
Are you still in doubt about her performance levels? Okay, pop your dick pill (your guarantee of “wood” even if she starts to scam you with FAT remarks, OLD MAN remarks, “i no like” crap, the dance of the seven towels or tears that you can give her a poke anyway.)
OR NOT
Have your pinch hitter lined up.
Smile and joke all the way through this whole routine.
Or follow the suggestions of the next flame artist here who’ll disagree with practically everything I have said and suggest I don’t know what I’m talking about.
I call this “Salmon Fishing”
View all comments by Thongsuk
When a gogo girl I don’t like approaches me or sits next to me I just stare her in the face looking as serious as a heart attack and shake my head “no”, ignoring any question or handshake attempt.
I just stare her down without saying a word until she leaves which is usually at most a few seconds.
I don’t think it’s rude to not like someone, being rejected is the risk she takes by her uninvited approach. One could argue you’re losing face if you don’t reject an ugly girl
View all comments by Orion
From PSI: “You don’t need to be rude, in fact you don’t need to do anything, when the hands come on the neck just scrunch your shoulders up, when she wants to shake hands take off to the toilet or or just smile a little and don’t. basically jsut “blank” her and turn to the cuties and offer a drink.”
From OnNutter: “When the girl tried to grab his dick, he politely but firmly moved her hand away. When she tried to kiss him, he turned his head away. When she asked for a Cola, he smiled and told her to take her time. Eventually, he moved his knees into a defensive position so that she could not get too near him.”
From PSI: “say you’re waiting for your girlfriend to finish dancing, if she asks which one pick the cutest and say her.”
From OnNutter: “This was the girl Sam wanted and he began smiling at her and his minger simultaneously while making a drinking gesture to the babe.”
Gee, I don’t think there’s any disagreement here. The only thing in ON’s piece that seems to ruffle any feathers is that the fat Issaan girl got a coke at the end.
However, I don’t think I misunderstood any points:
Lie to them:
“Just tell them u have no money.
Or better yet - just tell them u only have enough money for this beer and then the bus home.”
Ignore them
“Ignoring the minger totally is the way to go.”
“The best way to get ride on an unwanted sales person is to totally ignore them…. Same in a bar. I just totally ignore anyone I want to.”
Don’t worry about how they feel
“U lose by even being concerned about a hookers “face”. she isnt concerned about yours. What the hell are you doing?!”
Turn your back to them
“standing with your back to the stage is a good one.”
Appear aloof
“It also helps if, like me, you are somewhat aloof and like to look down on people.”
I am NOT an old Thailand hand — I’ve been here about three years. I read comments all the time from the OTHs that in the good old days the girls were innocent and sweet. They would go with you all night, have sex a dozen times, give you a massage, cook you breakfast and do your laundry before going home… all for a few hundred baht.
The girls nowadays, they say, have bad attitudes: they ignore punters, lie constantly and only scheme to get money from ferang. They just don’t care anymore.
I don’t know for a fact that Thai girls aren’t like they used to be, but based on the ‘advice’ in the comments on this blog that I have quoted, then I think its obvious where they learned their behaviour.
View all comments by werewolf
i don’t think you’re wrong - girls have changed but so have the visitors. I think that the change comes from many places - not just rude punters - there were rude punters back then too. the girls in the bars now are the daughters of the one’s I used to be with 25 years ago
View all comments by Psi100th
@@PSI: Did they REALLY cook your breakfast and clean your house before they left????
View all comments by werewolf
Everything was better in the old days - especially nostalgia…
You need to be firm with the girls, but you can do so without being unecessarily unpleasant. “Sorry, I don’t want”, in Thai or in English, is usually sufficient. Smile while you shake your head.
Of course, if she starts bitching and cursing because you don’t want to buy her a shot of tequila/water, then in my book you’ve got carte blanche to bitch and curse right back.
Careful with those colloquialisms though. “Ee bop”, or something that sounds like it, got me an elbow in the face recently. A friend reckoned it’s a term of endearment. I beg to differ. Still got no idea what it means…
Anyway, the long and short is that if a bargirl behaves well, I’ll treat her well. And likesiwe, if she wants to act like a grubby whore, I’ll treat her like one.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@ww - once i came back from Hua Hin. I had left apartment in a real mess - called one of the girls I knew and asked her to come over - telling her at the same time that i didn’t have any cash on me (and there were no ATM’s on route).
I was knackered from being on the beach all day and driving back, so I just crashed in the midst of all this mess. When she showed up she gave me the food she had bought on the way and then heated up, cleaned the apartment, then took care of my needs and just before leaving the next day, AFTER cooking me breakfast, gave me a couple of thousand to get me through the morning…
The flip side of the relationship was that over time I put electricity in her house and built a 1 kilometre road for her - not to mention paying her back for what she had loaned me and giving a nice tip on top.
I think things have changed especially in the bar scene, back then it was almost all Patpong and short time meant a quick shag or three BEFORE you took one or two home for the night…
Basically I think that the whole country was different back then and the current materialism really kicked in in the mid 90’s - and that is where I think the attitude comes from.
View all comments by Psi100th
@BBB - not everything - didn’t have Coyote, didn’t have ATM’s, had real “shooting” coups instead of “children’s day coups”, traffic was worse, had to get tax clearance before you went anywhere, and at one point the thai baht was 55 to 1 usd - just to mention a few “bad” points - having said all of that - the chicks in the bars generally had a better vibe going that today.
View all comments by Psi100th
Why do you forget the golden rule?; he with the gold makes the rules.
And there’s this little Thai phrase called “mai ao kop”. Try it.
View all comments by Jack Dawson
@PSI: Fair play. The advent of western consumerism, on a longer timescale, together with the glut of affordable cellphones on a shorter one, have westernised the girls more than a little.
But it’s a case of today’s girls misbehaving up to the level they think they can get away with. They wouldn’t try much of the above with a Thai guy. Letting them know your standards and expectations, a la Thongsuk, seems the swiftest and easiest way around that little problem.
I’ve had girls buy hot food on their way over, and several have cleaned my apartment in recent weeks and months. It’s not a lost art, although I’m quite prepared to accept that it’s less common nowadays. Maybe some people just need to be a little pickier?
@JD: “I don’t want a frog”?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
In the old days the beer was better too, I only needed 3 beers to get me drunk, now I need more than 10
View all comments by Orion
BBB have you not got a maid yet?
View all comments by MSB
@MSB: Don’t need one
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@ BBB, Psi100th, Orion: Good observations and right on the money fellas.
Reality checks cost nothing.
Loss of one’s self respect and self esteem as part of one’s pursuit of happiness here can be the beginning of one’s end.
Keep it real, chaps
View all comments by Thongsuk
@ Werewolf: Cook? well sometimes (usually, run out for food, wash your socks and underwear? yes. Change the sheets? Yes. Clean? YES. Farewell quickies? Yes. And, as you know, the good ones still do it.
I may be wrong about this, but I figure the bad manners come out of Upcountry “Auntie” folklore and mamasan lore and BG urban myths combined with RAMPANT materialism, competitiveness and envy between the rascals and finally but most conclusively, from the boy friends!
There are far more useless Thai men muckled onto the gals than there used to be.
And these useless douchebags are the cause of most of the trouble.
View all comments by Thongsuk
fat bird
minger
fat, ugly hopers
slapper
middle-aged porker
unwanted interloper
droop-assed, Neanderthal, douches
far more repellent than toilet ladies in the bus stations
aggressively rude, fat-assed scrag
ditch-pig
hosebag bar-turds
Gee, I wonder what they’re writing about me on their website!?
View all comments by werewolf
The farang scene is a complete disgrace. these girls are not attractive at all. they are shocking! a thai man wouldnt touch any of them. we embarras oursleves.
and we do this even more by trying to “girlfriend” the hookers - going out to dinner with them etc. worrying about their “face” etc. Desist this!
If in nana etc. and by some miracle u do see someone worth banging - just note her number and get her shipped over. by “mummy” (double meaning here - mummy as in mamasan and then as in the monster “the mummy returns”) or by service or anyone with a thai face. then take her out and bang her. Then iterate as required.
People have to stop pandering to ugly women - buying them drinks etc. worring about their “face” etc. It is a complete humiliation they are even presented to us and how they ever think this could fly.
I think a lot of frustration comes from a misunderstanding from what is being offered. Nana is a brothel and these are prostitutes. Sex is on the menu. If u are looking for a warm hearted chat and some romantic experience - go elsewhere. I think a lot of people are looking for love or companionship in nana which is where you will come unstuck.
I wouldn’t care what these losers do. But as farang we are all grouped together and i really feel at the butt of some thai joke. The taxi driver so jovial and happy as u fly off with your ugly bird with a nicely probable risk of HIV. I tell you if you actually get a hot thai bird - the taxi driver will be pissed! He will be devestated and not his jovial little self.
Thai women are hot. Sukemvit sluts are not. We need to raise our game and start demanding more.
Farang in thailand have to be stronger - behave like men for heavens sake!
View all comments by m
@ werewolf: Well, the intranet they used to use was called “the bamboo telegraph” if I remember correctly.
And, if you really want to know what they called us and still call us, and how they speak about us when they think we’re not listening, waste a few months learning how to speak Upcountry trailer-trash Lao/Thai or Khmer and you’ll hear all their choice epithets and prejudices anytime you walk into a bar and fail to throw money around like their ferang stereotype.
You must understand that you are meant to act this way (blowing your cash like a drunken sailor without ANY regard for expense because they have been taught by a series of aunties, friends, “sixters”, “mamasans” and boyfriends that real ferangs act this way.
If you fail to conform to the human ATM stereotype, you’ll be treated to their version of what you’ve noted above. Unfortunately, however, even if you DO blow your money, the same holds true.
There are some exceptions.
A lot of guys seem to think they’ve found one.
Just remember that when you do, that Thais are communal types. they can turn around on a 50 satang piece if it means keeping face with other “humans” (read Thais).
And this goes for m’s “hotties” as well.
I disagree with “m” however. A lot of these so-called “good Thai girls are just as venal if not more than their country sisters. And you’ll never get the real story of why these GTG’s are now fishing for dick in Ferang waters, (Damaged goods?, nasty divorce? etc?)
I’m still looking for someone who can translate “You can dish it out but you can’t take it” into bar-girl patois even Central Thai.
View all comments by Thongsuk
m is talking about hotness tho.
im saying if u get a whore - get a hot one. which means not from nana etc.
it is just a disgrace how old, ugly, fat etc. some of the nana birds are. and farang dont just bang them and regret it - they wine and dine them. some even marry them. disgrace.
“And you’ll never get the real story of why these GTG’s are now fishing for dick in Ferang waters, (Damaged goods?, nasty divorce? etc?)”
This is just it. We are option B. for the leftovers. for the druss. for the down and outs. for the uglies etc.
We should be the pinacle! How have we let it come to this? We are a laughing stock. and thais are simple creatures and group us all together so I get dragged down. Sort it out!
If your going to bang a whore - do as the thais do - make sure she is hot. do it in private. and recognise that she is a whore and dont take her dinner, marry her etc. If u recognise her as whore you aren’t in for any surprises when she behaves like one and isn’t the warm hearted maiden.
every1 complains - ohhh. nana is terrible now. they just care about money. of course they do. they are hookers. this shouldnt be a surprise to anyone. what should be pressing on peoples worries is that they aren’t hot.
View all comments by m
I too am afflicted by the assault of the unattractive vultures, and often quickly excuse myself to the toilet to discourage them. I found that most BGs do respect a customer who protects his baht and time, and does not fall for the bull$hit tactics designed for naïve newbies.
Psi – “Another strategy is to buy the mamasans drinks”. When I was a newbie tourist, I fell for the ‘experts’ advice that buying mamasans drinks would increase the face of the girl you were sitting with, make her think you are ‘jaidee’, and thus be rewarded with intense sex. I quickly learned falling for these BG101 tactics only increases their contempt for you, and encourages them to look for new ways to scam you. Other than their ability to recruit new staff (which can present its own worries), I believe bars would operate fine without the mamas.
PMMP – “I’ve seen working girls lose face and get mighty joe pissed off but never over not being bought a drink. Most if not all of the time it’s when they’ve gone with a Punter already and then that Punter takes a different girl from the same bar later on.”
My personal experience from butterflying in the same bar is not necessarily loss of face, but that the 1st one you barfined ‘claims’ you as her property, and her and her mates promptly inform the new cutie you are eyeing that you are already assigned and therefore unavailable. “Sorry, I not know you have girlfriend already” .
“she hit me in front of everyone so now I have to kill her”. This exact quote personally related to me (and no doubt others) on the BigMango’s last nite. I trust the offender is still alive, and the aggrieved is not in the Monkeyhouse.
TS – “the dance of the seven towels” Thought I had experienced all the scams, but this one has escaped me. Please enlighten me on this ploy.
Also, I agree that letting the girl know her compensation is partially dependent on performance is often effective. I find that monetary demands and performance levels are often inversely proportional.
View all comments by DJ
@DJ - for newbie tourists you may be right. I’ve known a few of the Mama’s for over 20 years - buying them drinks over the years has served me well. I guess everyone has their own Tao of BG, and the way of one might not work for another. have fun.
View all comments by Psi100th
@ m and @ werewolf: This is a pretty good exchange of ideas here but I suspect it’s getting blurred. The following will do little to rectify
But I hope you enjoy it.
C’mon m
Basic genetics. Hotties are everywhere. They are from all classes and they are in every walk of life. Some of them sell pussy. Some of them trade it for a life time of security and worry free shopping and a lot of it is “left on the shelf” waiting for a decent marital deal or even a decent boyfriend. Soem would never dream of shagging a Ferang. Some only dream of getting their moist little cracks licked by a guy who really enjoys it and who will “teach” them all that other steamy sticky “internet” stuff.
Short story: Two-day seminar with high end Thais. Conversation turns to food. One of the guys had been telling us all at every opportunity, how rich and influential he was (in hopes of pulling some mobile numbers from this gaggle of super-hotties (25-30 years)
Nnnnnnkay ;-? 
At one point, after lunch one of the sexiest women I’ve ever encountered asks Somchai if he “likes to eat sea food”. He replies he “will if he has to
She scopes her fellow hotties and quips “That’s what we thought” (Gales of laughter)
Back to the bars
My approach to the bars upon entering them, has always been to take my time to scope the gals on offer before taking a seat. The more frantic the server IS to get my ass into the chair the uglier the girls, I’ve found. So first off, I DO NOT take instruction from these
farm-kids.
“Door Girls” (who sometimes laughably refer to themselves as being a cut above the dancers and try for 4K for a poke) are there to run the usual “bait and switch” which is SO much a part of Thai marketing. They are implied to be a cut above the dancers (Nonsense) and will stay with you if you think you’re gonna bolt. On average they are only marginally more appealing than the avaerage dancer or at least see themselves that way. They are rarely of interest to me since they do not think they need perform as advertised.
They’re too sexy for that.
When pickings used to be better, these DG used to be the dancers. The draw for a good bar was that you used to be able to walk in, BF ‘em and bang ‘em. Now they’re door girls.A few of these concepts were borrowed by these bars in the farang scene from g-clubs, Jap clubs and ab-op-nuats.
Point? If any given bar does not have at least a few hotties on offer on a given night: LEAVE. If the hotties in any bar are running a “paddy princess-itis” fever and have forgotten why they’re there?? LEAVE
Don’t give up your self-esteem and control to some kid whose job it is to get your ass into the chair and pin you with a drink.
Once there, don’t let the few hotties on offer get haughty just because you haven’t dumped your cash all over them.
Tell the head squaw that Miss Thailand was rude and that you’re “gonna make this bar famous”.
Then? LEAVE.
@ “m” regarding “heartwarming” or any other type of conversation with the vast majority of Thais at ANY social level: I envy you your social contacts, m
I’m no OAH but after 16 years of close contact with all classes and types I’ve found most Thai women to be conversationally reserved and reticent and, for the most part, dramatically restricted in scope and more or less devoid of opinions.
The number of times I have been able to affect even a modicum of a “heartwarming conversation” with ANY Thai, I can count on the fingers of one hand.
They compensate with their charm and penchant for fun and, yes, naughtiness and flirtation skills.
It’s easier to fukc them than to have a conversation with them.
I have met Thai men who are engaging and intelligent as well but equally reluctant to reveal their true thoughts on matters of import in any conversation out of concern for risking “slippage” in the local food chain.
The exceptions to this admittedly gross generalization run like a vein of precious metal through ALL of Thai society. Sociability and intelligence are genetic to some degree. There are smart people everywhere. Educated and uneducated. Flowers that are not permitted to bloom in daylight bloom at night
Point? I don’t have to cleave to flat (no?)arsed white -skinned Chinese chicks to keep face with the Thai bourgeoisie. Pull hotties from all classes.
Thailand, whose rigid hierarchical system bears much of the blame for this, finds itself studded at all levels with uncut gems. An office setting will have its quietly depraved mongers, its hotties who smut surf like 13 year old boys with Hi-speed and its smouldering female libido sector as well as a good measure of dross.
Any relegation of Ferangs to second rate status has to do with the perception that ALL Westerners belong there. You vote yourself “up” by spending money, showing money, looking “money”.
If you wanna bang a “straight ” hottie, don’t worry, she’ll either keep it secret or she’ll protect the goods until her deal is secure. If you are “sexualizing” with a middle-class gik of a certain age who likes sex you will get your ass kicked if you embarrass her. Just like back home. If you make her “feel bad”, don’t worry, she’ll find a way to make you “feel bad”.
Thai women are EXPERT at finding out if you’re already hooked up. Next time you’re in a room full of Thai women, get out your “inner Thai monger” goggles and imagine how many of them you’d really want to see naked. 10% ? How many would let you see them that way 2% And how many you’re actually gonna pull. 1 % And how many you’re actually gonna pull if you have a happy, loving, devoted , hot, “right for you” gal (from ANY class) waiting at home?)
We are not Thai, m. That’s where the issues originate. That and the fact that there’s someone here for everyone. Slob to slob, Hottie to hottie, and some interesting variations on ALL themes.
If a middle aged, relatively well-preserved, formerly studly, Western man wants to marry a hot, sexy, urbane chick half his age he either has to COMMIT to a marriage in which he has NO legal standing or he has to PAY big money for a series of pros like the Thai mongers do.
???
Thai men get suckered just as easily by the real hot Thai women.
Ex- beauty contestants NEVER die, they just morph into the marketing phase of their lives. That hot ex-beauty queen from the office who shows up in 800 dollar Manollo’s and impressive “daytime” jewelery?
Don’t worry. Someone’s bangin’ her and it ain’t for free.
Is it you “m”
If you “Pizza order” a hotties you have to pay premium prices. That’s like fishing with worms at the salmon farm. Personally, I like stone-fly fishing in the Restegouche River, but I’ll cast a line anywhere I see the waters swirl.
View all comments by Thongsuk
U seem to think i am caught up in the thai class warfare. that i must strike chinese to have hot. this is not the case. i can go issan. but they must be hot. the farang scene does not offer this.
to be fair - there are some. but they get barfined early. and then they yo-yo in and out at high frequency. so they not really around. and they just a handful. and they are expensive. cause they know they hold the chips as the rest of the scene are dragons. and they hardcore as f*ck.
View all comments by m
@m: Actually I think we more or less agree on most every point
Enjoyed your post.
View all comments by Thongsuk
Yes many of us have the misfortune of being accosted by ugly girls in Gogo bars. Lets face it, the ugly one’s have to be more aggressive because no one is going to cross the room to talk to them. Thsi is what I do:
First I dont even turn my attention away from the dance floor. I grunt hello back to them and make no eye contact. Most of the time they walk away within a minute or two. If they become more aggressive, I say “mai son-jai” which means “not interested” in Thai. If they say anything rude back to me, such as “Kee Nee-ow” which means “stingy” I answer with “Kee Caw” which means they are a person who is constantly asking for things.
Its your money and you dont need to talk to or buy a drink for anyone who was not your choice. Afraid you are a little “too nice” mate!
View all comments by Khun Leigh
@ Thongsuk — Prufrock? PRUFROCK? Is that you Prufrock?
View all comments by Common Sense
They still go and get food, tidy your room and feed you grapes, just have to choose a nice one.
Thai guys would bang these girls, but there not allowed in to the gogo bars. I have taken a few Thai guys in from decent backgrounds and they sat there likes newbies with their jaws hanging down unable to talk. They always choose the girls with the biggest jugs no matter what she looks like…
JD - still cracking me up.
View all comments by Young Royal
This is hardly a ‘fine science’
If you cant leave a go-go with a stunner than your a tad retarded
If some overweight mug-punter sits next to me i give her the custard pie treatment (referred to as ‘pieing/pied off’) - Flat out tell her your not interested and if she persists tell her to do one.
If you see the girl of your dreams/night/next 1hour then call her over, pay bar and wihin 30minutes you’ll
Wasting 100baht on buying some scragg a beer thats pestered you for the sake of ‘not loosing face’ is pathetic, your loosing face for being the dumb foreigner with more money than balls - Id rather eat the 100baht note
View all comments by Penfold
So it’s NOT just me then
View all comments by thongsuk