After a year of visiting Thailand (visit every other month for 2-3 weeks) I started to get adventurous and decided it was high time to venture out of Soi 4.
A buddy and I were walking down the street in the afternoon, when we were approached by a middle aged American dude.
He was fairly well presented. He asked if we spoke English and when I said ‘yes’ he gave a sigh of relief (as if we were the only ones there?!) and said oh thank god, and started telling us his story… not remembering the exact words… but a little like this…
“fellas, I’m in trouble here. Last night I took this ‘broad’ home. This morning, I woke up and found my wallet and passport gone. I’ve got no money and haven’t eaten all day. I’ve spoken to the bank in the U.S and they are going to wire me some money, but it’ll take a few days to get here. The people at my hotel have said they’ll let me stay until the money is through… I’ve spoken to the Embassy and they are sorting an emergency passport…guys… I haven’t eaten… can you help me out”…..?
Now, I’m no Columbo.. not full time anyway, but when I asked why it is he couldn’t order food from his hotel and have it charged to the bill, and why is it that ‘electronic’ transfer is taking 4 days when I get mine immediately, he didn’t have an answer. He just showed me his little pad with various phone numbers on it saying ‘I’ve called these people blah blah…’.
I asked what it is that I can help him with, he asked for cash. Obviously my first thought was that this is a scam… However, what if it wasn’t and this chap, who seemed a pleasant enough guy really was in the crap and was turning to a fellow Farang for help? He asked if he could borrow a few thousand bht until his money turned up.. I was still not sure….
I offered the guy 500bht and said take it, go and eat. Sorry, I don’t have the cash on me to lend him. The guy then started giving me shit about needing more….
I explained… ‘look pal, I’ll give you 500…. If you’re scamming me, then all I would have lost is small change to me, and obviously a lot to you. If you are genuine, then I’ll feel happy that I’ve given you money for food and that the Karma gods will favour me tonight and I’ll find a nice ‘broad’ (as he so eloquently put it).
With that, we walked on. Still unsure of the ‘scam’. I find it hard to believe that someone of that age would stoop so low.
A few days later, back in Bangkok, I was talking to a guy in a bar and told him the story. Sure enough, he’d heard the same story else where. The obvious scam was indeed obvious!!
At least the Thai beggers down soi 4 ‘look’ like beggars. Even if they’re not!
- Lesson learned…. If I see the guy in Pattaya again… his next scam will be to pay his dental bills.
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dude, there’s a dutch gy runnin around doin the same shit askin for money so he can buy a ticket home. i saw him last dec. heard he’s still around.
bash the cunts!
View all comments by limmy
Here is an interview with the Dutch beggar
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68qeExiAMY8
View all comments by Orion
The worst scams in Asia are not done by Asians but by Foreigner. My Top 3 stories:
1. On the Airport in Taipei was asked by an American dude to pay him the Ticket to Kao-hsiung in Southern Taiwan after he saw me getting money from an ATM. His wife and kid are there, no money, blah-blah. When I walked away without giving him money he even shouted at me and called me a “bad person”.
2. In Shanghai a drunk Frensh dude asked me for 100 USD in front of a bar. He would give me back the next day, blah-blah. I didn’t give hinm anything. Later that night I saw him again, he was very drunk and extremely aggressive towards me, only being held back by some guys he seemed to have met in another bar.
3. In BKK in the Spice Club a dude (nationality unknown) asked me for a cigarette first (which I gave him), then 15 minutes later asked if I could pay his bill of 800 Baht cos he has no money on him, his friends left, he will pay me tomorrow, blah-blah. Of course I didn’t give him anything.
IMHO, if a Farang in Thailand or elsewhere in Asia approaches you for money it’s ALWAYS a scam.
View all comments by Phoenix
Tarring and feathering used to work pretty good on the snake oil varmints that would sell ya a bottle of sewer water and tell ya it fixed all ailments.
Reckon you could find some tar just about any road in Bangkok and feathers, hell just pluck something …
View all comments by Nevada Ned
I tend to agree. The lucky Indian dudes are right up there on my list. I honestly have rarely been bugged by a thai and usually if so they are obviously a beggar. There is a Brit who works the Khao San road area that gets to me since I have ran into him twice on separate occasions. He claims to have lost his passport in Pattaya and needs money. His police receipt for the stolen passport is so old it is falling apart. I am sure he just needs beer money but I think a quick ass kicking sounds more in order.
View all comments by smitty
My goodness gracious me sir you have very lucky face!
View all comments by Orion
I always tell the ‘lucky Indian’ to fuck off…..
If he could see the future, then why did he bother talking to me?
View all comments by Day walker
Me no speake the english, me from Russia.
View all comments by hanuman
i had some hairy grey haired goofy indian guy collar me in soi4 saying he lost his money and passport and is waiting for money to be sent to him, and how he was a millionaire in his home country and if i bought some ’silk scarves’ he had it would help him buy a ticket home, and once he was home he would bestoy me with riches beyond my wildest dreams
i gave him a big ‘fuck off tablet’
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
Owning a bar in bkk you would think we would get scammers in all the time but surprisingly we’ve had very few. One that stands out is this piece of shit Indian guy (btw, I have nothing against Indian people. I lived there for a year and some of my closest friends are Indians. There are just some really scummy one’s in the lower Suk area) who came into the bar over successive trips to build his story.
The first time he had a few beers and pretended to have problems with this Thai girl who worked as a maid in a hotel. He said he lived in India and is married but comes here for business every once in a while and that he is falling for her. He asked for a bunch of advice and then went on his way.
His second and third visit he continued the story. Stressing out like she was trying to eff him over to get my sympathy. So far he spent about 1000 baht in the bar.
The hammer finally dropped on his fourth visit. He asked me if he could speak to me privately upstairs. He acted all flustered and showed me some bullshit “starting a business in Thailand” papers and that he needed to make this deal tomorrow but wasn’t able to get money from India. He asked for 5000 baht and told me that he would pay me back the next day, and then cried about his love for the maid.
I told him I never lend money and I could see the look on his face that he just wasted 1000 baht trying to get my 5000.
He left and never came back into the bar again BUT I did see him again. I went to Foodland one day and as I was walking in he walked out with about 3 of his buddies. I was a little surprised to see him so I didn’t walk over and ram his head into the pavement but it was clearly all a scam as he walked away with his buddies.
Kind of a dangerous game to play for him, especially when he plays it so badly. Certainly one of the biggest losers I’ve met and will probably end up getting a few beatings before finding another profession.
View all comments by pmmp
Give money to Bangkok beggars.
That’s funny.
I like that.
View all comments by jack dawson
Hey pmmp,
I am not defending the guy’s actions, but the bottom line is that he spent 1,000 in your bar.
He asked for 5,000 loan, and you said no. No harm, no foul.
Why do you want to ram your customer’s head in over something trivial like that?
View all comments by John Brown
Hello pmmp,
The indian guy u have written about happens to be me. I am writing to you because I had a genuine problem at that point of time in Bangkok. On my visits to the Big Mango I really liked your place, because I was traveling alone and having been caught up in an ugly affair (btw, the thai girl used to work as a front desk executive in a hotel), It felt good talking to you, it helped me to understand the situation I was in in terms of the affair. I had come to Bangkok with the intention of starting a business and also for some pleasure. Things did not work out during that visit.
Towards the end of the trip my passport and money were stolen (this is true) I was in deep shit, I had to call India and cancel my cards and arrange for funds to reach me in Bangkok. With no way of getting immediate funds (would have taken at least 2 days I know there is Western Union, but in India sometimes even that takes time) and with money due to be paid to my hotel I was in a fix. The only decent and approachable place at that time in my mind was the Big Mango and you. I did not know anyone else in Bangkok. My intention was not to dupe you. I was just very confused and a bit scared.
When you mentioned that you do not lend money to strangers and looked a bit skeptical, the look on my face may have been a look of utter helplessness ( not knowing who else to turn to in my hour of need), the last thing on my mind was about the 1000 Baht I spent in the bar.
After I left your place I seriously did not know what to do, the hotel I was staying in was insisting that I pay on a day to day basis or else leave.
At that point of time I happened to meet a few guys who are from Bangladesh doing business in Bangkok. After verifying my story and a short call to India, they agreed to help me out, paid the hotel, gave me a place to stay till my funds arrived (the “buddies” you saw me with in foodland).
When I got my money I paid them in full (will never be able to repay their act of kindness, the only way to do that maybe by helping some other soul in trouble), and left for India, a little wiser, where I do run a very successful software development business.
I am sorry if I came across as a loser, or as a scam artist. I think your point of view is justified because you did not know me and maybe I overstepped my limit in asking you for money.
My intention was never to set you up with a sob story and get money out of you. I still like the big mango bar and if you think it proper I would even like to visit on my next visit to Bangkok (under more favorable circumstances).
Take care
With Best Regards.
View all comments by indian guy
jb: I did think it was a scam so him spending money in the bar to set me up takes away his “customer” status in my mind. I don’t appreciate somebody coming into my business and trying to rip me off is such an elaborate way. That deserves a beating, a long and deliberate beating in fact. However, let’s skip ahead…
indian guy: This actually does sound like you as you got the details right and your IP address does originate from India. I have to admit that I’m a bit shocked. If it is indeed you I’m glad you understood why I thought it was a scam. I did spend time with you and offered moral support and then you hit me up for a loan. I then saw you chuckling it up with your buddies on soi 5. I think it was a reasonable conclusion to make. Being in bkk or anywhere for that matter, you have to be guarded and in some cases the innocent folks who really need help can’t get past that guard. I am glad to hear that it worked out and that you are doing well. You are welcome to come back to the bar anytime.
View all comments by pmmp
pmmp,
I am glad we could clear the air. Will surely visit the Big Mango Bar next time I visit Bangkok. Cheers !!
View all comments by indian guy
If the Amercican dude this original post was about is out there and was genuinely seeking help instead of scamming me…..
- Can I please have my 500bht back?
pmmp… Can I borrow $50?
View all comments by daywalker
In late August while I was on my way into the Black Swan Pub (directly under Asoke BTS station) I was approached by a guy that asked me if I spoke English, when I answered ‘yes’ he put up a sob story about not being able to get on his flight home because he did not have any money to pay the airport departure tax. I told him that there is no airport departure tax anymore (If I remember correctly it was removed quite some time ago), with that he become quite aggressive and started yelling at me. I quickly retreated into the Black Swan Pub, he did not follow me inside…
/Joe
View all comments by Joe Mccoy
dw: I couldn’t give you a worse beating than the one you got from the ugly stick when you were born so there’s no point in lending you money if I have nothing to threaten you with if you don’t pay me back. I think that’s a run-on sentence, sorry
View all comments by pmmp
You are so hurtful. I’m never going to be able to afford my monkey
View all comments by daywalker
“Excuse me, do you speak English” is THE classic opening sentence to a scam.
Almost every farang speaks English so it’s a stupid question, but it tends to get your attention and that’s why they use it.
If someone asks me if I speak English my reflex is to say “No” and keep walking.
View all comments by Orion
Joe Mccoy, there is in fact an airport tax, please check here: http://www.bangkokairportonline.com/node/75
But: The 700 Tax is already included in my ticket for my flight from Germany to BKK in December. So I don’t need to pay that tax at my departure.
And: The guy was a scammer, no matter if he was right or wrong about the aiport tax, imho.
View all comments by Phoenix
Orion. The question “Do you speak English” shall probably give you the feeling that the person is so desperate and lost and then so happy he finally actually found an English speaking person in BKK. Yeah, it probably took him weeks to find such a person, especially in front of a pub
It’s idiot-psychology of the lowest kind.
I now imagine myself sitting in a bar in BKK and - when I for example to borrow the lighter from a guy next to me - asking him first “Excuse me, do you speak English?”… “Oh, you do, really!? That’s great! Can I please borrow your lighter for a second?”
Just thinking of that gives me a big laugh about how ridiculous such a question would be
View all comments by Phoenix
Phoenix……
You are most correct… The next time someone says that to me, I’ll smash them in the face before they get chance to run a scam past me.
I might even buy a lighter and leave it on the bar…..
View all comments by Day walker
Daywalker, hope you are not too angry… it’s understandable if you suddenly run into a situation that you didn’t expect to happen and only after coming out of that situation and some more retrospection you find out what was really going on… especially if such an unexpected situation seems to involve human problems or sufferings… And from your comment it seems you will show a different reaction to an attempted scam next time, hehe.
Orion. No matter what the topic was, I never thought of asking a Farang in Thailand if he speaks English as an opening question. That thought will probably make me smile for the next couple of days
Thanks for that hint 
View all comments by Phoenix
Perhaps one day one of us will be sitting handcuffed in Lumpini station…
“Why you chock muay broke farang!?”
“He had the nerve to ask me if I speak English!!!”
View all comments by Orion
Alternatively get t-shirts printed up.
“fuck off whitey I no speak English”
View all comments by The Playboy
Shit i speak Spanish to most venders or people that come to me with that opening line… Que? Solo Hablo espanol…
I think Daywalker try that on me and i spoke to him in spanish all night… the thing is he slured some weird brit words back….
View all comments by Goodlife
Goodlife… I remember it well…… However, as you are not drunk at the moment ( I hope) I shall say those words again….
THAT…IS….A…….LADYBOY……YOU…..ARE……KISSING!!
Don’t know the Spanish is for that? ‘el bird gotta cockola’?
View all comments by daywalker
ooh yea thats it…
I coulden’t understand you with your mouth full of her COCK!!
Enano Loco… (Crazy… Brit)
See ya in a few months.
View all comments by Goodlife
There is also a guy I have seen sometimes around Sukhumvit Road and MBK begging with a sign in English saying he is 270 Baht short of a plane ticket home. I have seen him over a period of months in different places around the city. Seems like a weak and poorly thought up scam to me, but I am sure people fall for it or he wouldn’t keep doing it.
View all comments by Bangkok Biatch
And my Mom always told me never to speak with my mouth full.
Still, glad to hear your marriage survived this three-some we had.
So many never work out.
P.S. Your wife has a huge one.
View all comments by Day walker
That was funny I recognised the voice of the interviewer with the Dutch beggar. That’s a bunch of my mates making that website good name.
View all comments by Young Royal
@pmmp ;when the indian guy comes back to see you, he might ask you for a more substantial loan since the air has cleared between you 2
@daywalker; put a sign around your neck saying that you don’t have enough money to buy your favorite monkey, or ask the indian guy to loan you some money on his next visit to Bangkok
View all comments by hanuman
I’ve been told that I am just not ready to be responsible for such a lovely little creature.
Rumour has it that I’d be spanking my monkey as soon as I was behind closed doors.
View all comments by Day walker
However.. on that line of thought… I think people would donate cash to feed the little fury creature.
He’s much cuter that dirty little kid laying on the bridge all bandaged up or a stumpy fingered woman waving an empty Starbucks cup?
View all comments by Day walker
I had the pleasure of listening to the American’s buffalo story in Pattaya Soi 7 during August, same m.o. had his little list of telephone numbers for the police and embassy etc, claimed he had no money to even eat until the cash came in as he was only staying in a guest house and they didn’t serve food.
The opening line of “do you speak English” is hilarious on Soi 7 there, if you put a blindfold on and tried to walk 10 meters you wouldn’t be able to do it without bumping into an English speaker, there isn’t even a Thai in the soi who doesn’t speak English.
I listened to his ‘patter’ just because I was waiting to meet someone for dinner, when he’d finished just told him “sorry mate, you might be genuine but there are too many scammers around” and then advised him to contact a friend in the states and make some arrangements.
Like with all these things you always have a worry in the back of your mind that it may be someone in genuine trouble but T.I.T and you have to be on your guard.
That said I’d even be reluctant to lend money to friends on vacation (or otherwise) as it tends to lead to trouble eventually.
Never a lender or a borrower be.
View all comments by Cookoo
I think I came across him at the airport last week. He was asking for 100B and went on about missing his flight. When I gave him a non-believing look, he said something about looking for Germans who are more generous and marched at a rapid rate with an obviously empty backpack. Germans generous - wtf.
View all comments by asinine
I actually ran out of cash in bangkok and my card was demagnitized, good thing my hotel could punch in the numbers manually for me so atleast I had a hotel room.
The cashier at big mango (Need) bailed me out with some emergency cash for a taxi n food.
View all comments by Danny Sweden