I have a friend who lives in Pattaya.. He’s a 6’2 Beast who you’d not want to meet down a lit alleyway, let alone a dark one. He’s been in Thailand for a number of years now and knows the score.
A few months ago, he spied and absolute beauty at a club. Instant attraction… head over heals ‘I must have her’… My friend doesn’t speak Thai (apart from the bad words) and the beauty only spoke pigeon English. A deal was thrashed out and she told my friend to give her 5 minutes whilst she gathered her things. (i.e. tell other potential customers that they are in a queue, but their money is important to her. please hold the line)
Five minutes later they were in his pickup heading home. – Smug grin on my friends face and looking forward to a night’s passion.
Once inside his apartment, drinks were poured. My friend being the type that’d be kicked out of the Hells Angels for being too scary started hitting the bottle. After chit-chat, the following conversation came out followed
Beauty: You hab food?
Beast: No.
Beauty: Want hab food
Beast : You should have said that before we left
Beauty: Yo get food?
Beast: I’m going nowhere…
Beauty: I get food?
Beast: There is nowhere round here to get food
Beauty: You hab key…car. Gib me?
Beast: You think I’m gonna give to the keys to my truck? I think not! (actually he said fook off)
Beauty: Gib key, I go get food.
Beast. : Listen… it aint gonna happen…
Angry face and mood swings followed. My friend ‘realising; the ‘mood’ had passed decided to split and cut his losses. He told the beauty that their new relationship is over and that the arguing little cow should go. He showed her the door and she said a few words in Thai. My friend understood these, as I said, He knows the bad words.
The next day my buddy went about his business… when he got in his truck. He smelt something other than his leather seats.
He glanced into the back seat and found a carrier bag full of beauty’s food!
- And the say there is no such thing as a free lunch?
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funny…
View all comments by werewolf
One more reason why I would never go again to Pattaya. Only have been there one day before. Will never go again. Bad beach, bad water and a statistically much higher chance you will get into a fight with some Western morons or will encounter some nutcase-girls like the one described above. BBK and Phuket are my personal favorites. I talked to many Farang before about Pattaya and all had some crazy story to tell about being ripped off, getting robbed, having bloody fights with other Farang, getting rid of a freaked out girl in their room… no thanks, I don’t need that during my vacation.
View all comments by Phoenix
ph - not sure what you mean. The nutcase in the story is the dude - not the girl. She just wanted her food. I love Pattaya for a few days. I don’t go for the beaches but I mainly went due to the nudity and the late hours. Both of which are not ass good as before. In Heavens above, now reopened, they were stars under their tops. The tops that never came off. Might as well stay in bkk then is my feeling.
View all comments by smitty
Pattaya is a scream for a few days. They even do a McDonalds breakfast?!
View all comments by Day walker
Pattaya is ok for a few days if you can deal with the scum of Europe sitting next to you on a barstool.
View all comments by hanuman
i needed a holiday after pattaya to get over it
must of spent 100,000baht in 5days. but after 5days not only was my wallet hurting my head was spinning - place is dangerous for your health
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
Funny Stuff.. Great Read
View all comments by I Phukit