As many of you are aware it was the start of the Champions League soccer this past week and the premier European competition. Wednesday night saw my team in action. What better than to go down to the bar and watch the match over a few beers with a few mates as normal? But this is Bangkok and I can drink beer and watch football in any bar in the world and many times I’ve been doing just that but thinking, would it not be great to lay back watching the match with some cute girl blowing you off for the full 90 minutes? So I set out last night to turn my dream into a reality.
I headed up to soi cowboy with the sole intention of bar fining a girl under the express agreement that it would be for a full 90 minute BJ. I wanted a girl who was semi interested in football, that knew what was required and wouldn’t do it for a few minutes then want to stop. I chatted to a few and they just didn’t understand football or what I was wanting. I got the usual you boom boom me short time and they just didn’t get it. However I finally ran into a girl who said she loved football and wanted to accept the role. I asked her who she supported and she replied Manchester United, so I tested her out to see if she knew any players and she rolled off loony, lonaldo, and lyan giggs with a perfect tongue roll that I instantly figured her oral skills could be good.
We spoke about the 90 minutes being quite a long time and what if she needed the toilet or a break and what happens at half time. She suggested that we invite her friend along as well and they take turns so that I would not miss out on any of the crucial action. My mind was racing at this point and I said they could do half each but we came up with an even better idea and that was to swap over each time there was a corner. I said I wanted to come whenever my team scored a goal and both girls agreed to this and I barfined them both and headed to my place hoping for a goal rout.
We bought a few beers and relaxed until the whistle blew to signify the start of the game. Noi 1 as we will call her proceeded to start things off with Noi 2 eagerly watching the game, shouting out for a corner every time the ball went anywhere near the corner flags. This was football at its finest and the game didn’t disappoint either. A goalless draw would have been a real let down but on 27 minutes there was a shot and the ball got deflected in off of a defender. Goal Noi 2 shouted and Noi 1 upped the pace and I came very quickly. Try saying loony with a mouth full of that I thought. I did not want another goal straght away and was quite happy to slowly build up again until we reached half time. We had a few beers during the break and I whetted the girls appetites with some clever dribbling skills of my own that would have made lyan giggs proud. The second half starts and after a few change overs for corners its suddenly 2-0 on 59 minutes and I exploded again much to the delight of Noi 2 who was on first base at the time.
Again I didnt want another goal too quick and was quite satisfied with the 2-0 scoreline. I thought I can see out the rest of the match with a smile on my face and fully satisfied. 90 minutes is quite a long time actually in hindsight. Anyway the game got to 90 minutes and Noi 1 said its all over and proceeded to sit firmly on my face saying its my turn now, however they were still playing injury time and in popped another goal which resulted in both Noi 1 and myself climaxing and Noi 2 getting a bigger mouthful than Mohrinhio has ever got from Ambrovich.
All in all the finest game of football I have ever seen and surely only possible in Bangkok!!!
Excellent!!! You’ve given me some ideas for the next World Cup…
View all comments by psi100th
Great story!
As much as I hate soccer, I think I could watch it under those conditions, and even be interested in the score.
Sounds like the makings of a good party somewhere… 15 punters, 30 girls, 3 bottles of whiskey with mixers, a slab of beer, Smitty’s grandmother’s popcorn machine, 6 boxes of handiwipes and 5 bottles of Listerine?
View all comments by werewolf
Its posts like this that make it difficult to concentrate at work. Thanks.
View all comments by bkk22
ww - the poor popcorn machines gets dragged into all sorts of debauchery.
bkk22 - what? u read this drivel at work…
View all comments by smitty
What great fiction!
Can we have more please?
View all comments by Jack Dawson
Pure Class!
For the non soccer fans, you could use ‘cricket’ matches?
- 3 day blow job sounds good to me.
View all comments by Day walker
well with the t20 tournament matches they only last a few hours. The normal 5 day test matches would require some serious bar fining though…
View all comments by smitty
jd - sure. Why don’t you write some? I mean your comments are always so helpful to everyone as it is.
View all comments by smitty
Hmm… combining sports with BJ’s is a good idea…
I’ll bring my collection of Tyson DVD’s.
Get the deed down to 3 minutes.
View all comments by Day walker
jd - what’s great about this place is that you really don’t have to make this stuff up.
View all comments by pmmp
“Anybody can write a blog. To consistently write good quality blogs is a talent that should be valued. An excellent blog leads to interesting discussion, and high levels of readership.
What many people fail to appreciate about the dynamics of a good blog site is the role of reader’s comments, which help add new dimension to the blog. Often the comments of readers are as entertaining and thought provoking as the original blog, and a community of readers who exercise thoughtfulness and creativity can result in a really top flight blog site.”
Those are the opening two paragraphs to an article I’ve written for FMH Magazine titled, “1000 of the most creative comments on the internet today.” Look for my article in the November 2007 edition.
The article involved hundreds of hours of exhaustive research, but I think it will be well worth the effort. A great blog comment has a style all it’s own, and results in new in new insights, humor or a creative twist on the original text. Often, the reader, by sharing his own personal experiences, breathes greater life into the original text.
I’ve been participating in the Big Mango blog almost since its inception, so the magazine publishers gave me permission to share with you guys a small sampling from the thousand greatest comments of all time.
I’m sure you’ll agree that the fourteen samples below set a high standard in artistic achievement that we can all emulate:
1. The Tavern. That’s funny.
2. Same reliable sources that said earlier this year Rainbow IV was closing for a month?
3. Sure, I believe you.
4. Re: the above. You sure you can still post here since, for those of us in the know, this site is refered to as: “The Farang Who Spends Too Much”
5. Good job Simon Cowell never took that advice?
6. Rule # 1: Don’t talk to Thai guys unless you HAVE to. Rule # 2: Don’t forget rule # 1. P.S. How long have you been here………..
7. return home to the US what’s up with that? run out of $$$
8. “fun and innocence” in pattaya? i like that. that’s funny.
9. u believe everything u read?
10. Thanks for the due diligence. Yet another bar to avoid. What was good on Cowboy na?
11. All night? There is no other place than the Nana hotel restaurant, chai mai?
12. I love to go to small, smelly places with annoying strobe lights miles away from the BTS.
13. A tuk tuk. That’s funny.
14. What’s “Baccara?”
View all comments by werewolf
Well played Werewolf
View all comments by bkk22
what happens when there is a drop ball??
View all comments by the-adventurer
Puberty?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
come on my man, that blog was faker then a jacobs&co watch from the JChatuchak market
tears @ puberty
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
ww. funny shite. Still laughing.
View all comments by smitty
ww - did you mention in the article the power and prose of repeating comments?
View all comments by smitty
Good job you weren’t watching last seasons Champions League which I remember watching in Big Dogs. Involved same Man U and Roma……the score ?…….. 7-0 if memory serves.
Come on you American guys do the same for the NBA !!!!!!!! Lakers v …
View all comments by nampla69
Guys guys guys…when did people started reacting to JD’s coments on this site before. No one took any notice of them for months. I like his one liners now and again. He’s one of the characters of this site. When people start chatting about accidently sleeping with ladyboy’s and his reply is “pathetic” makes me laugh.
View all comments by Young Royal
guys guys guys - thats funny
for those of us in the know this site is referred to as “the farang who gets bj watching sport too much”"
Whats “soccer”?
View all comments by TitanicDicaprioPrat
‘Soccer’.. don’t worry about that. They don’t have it in America.
View all comments by Day walker
tdp - you are killing.
dw - america is the greatest country in the world. u are just upset that you were not born there. sorry.
View all comments by smitty
Smitty…
I agree. I am upset that I am not American/Canadian (aren’t they the same place?)
- I HATE football
View all comments by Day walker
View all comments by Day walker
it is the people from the ny and buffalo area confused about their geography. I am california - with an economy larger than canada. so please…
View all comments by smitty
Well done Mr.Schwarzenegger.. ‘European’ I believe?!
View all comments by Day walker
Isn’t pmmp from Houston?
Texan accent for sure.
View all comments by Day walker
touche, Texas=Birmingham
View all comments by pmmp
Are we even now pmmp? Truce?
View all comments by Day walker
what a pointless arguement
if our countries were so great we’d be living there wouldnt we?
im english and ashamed, thats why i moved away
View all comments by myspace.com/penfold_xxx
my - pmmp, daywalker, and I are good friends. Kind of an online pissing match and I am sure DW wishes he lived in Bkk as well. I love where I was born but happy to be in Bkk right now.
View all comments by smitty
I DO wish I lived in BKK! 5 months of the year is all I can manage at the moment… In the mean time, I’ll put up with Africa, Spain and the UK… Unless anyone there wants to give me a job?
- I need 120k per month though….spparently.
View all comments by Daw Walker
I’m proud of my country made me the collossal deviant I turned out to be. It wouldn’t be the same if I grew up in Thailand.
View all comments by Young Royal
I reckon I could get by on 60K, but I guess as I got older I would need more.
View all comments by Young Royal