The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

Here is out first reader contribution. I love the writing. Dig the content and appreciate the candidness.

here we go:

BKK trip report. Take off from SFO China Air Midnight bridging Sat and Sun. Check in two hours early. I have the last window seat in the back of the plane. Take my seat and were off. Thirteen and a half hours straight, sitting next to an older Indian guy who speaks no English and is wearing a turban while exuding some colorful odors. It is a long flight into a never-ending evening as we are chasing the night the whole time. Two meals, three movies and many hours later we land in Taipei Taiwan. Three and a half hour layover and I’m starting to get a little bleary eyed. Continued reading a Million Pieces to pass the time. Board the plane and I’m in another capsule for four hours. This time I have a little more room to stretch out, close my eyes and rest a little. And I’m starting to get very excited.

Ever since reading those first posts on SF Red Book about Thailand a
couple years ago I’ve been waiting to make this sojourn and here I am
just a couple hours away. As you can imagine the longest part of the
trip was the last hour prior to landing in Bangkok. I still can’t
believe I am here. Going through customs takes an hour or so. Not very
efficient in processing large planeloads of people. Out of the terminal
and I’m accosted by touts asking me about taxi services, hotels, tours,
but from doing my research I new I needed to ignore and head for a cash
machine.

Note: I had done exhaustive research prior to my trip and
downloaded an e-book called “Why Thailand” that explains in detail what
to do and not do to make the most of you hobbying time in Thailand,
thank you Stickmans website.

I Jump into a cab and I’m already
planning my first step. Get to the JW Marriott a really nice place a
half block from the famous Nana Entertainment complex. I check in, plug
in and review my notes on where the best Soapies are located. Soapies
are places where you get a full body massage while being doused in soap
and suds. Slip and slide for adults
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/54160/thai_body_massage/ .

I decided to go first to Annie’s which is right behind my hotel the JW Marriott.

First
I had to stroll by the world famous Nana plaza, which I actually over
look from my room. It’s early still when I start walking, around 2:00
pm. I pass by the Nana hotel and it’s mostly a bunch of crusty blokes
having their first beer of the day perhaps out with their Yings (name
for Thai working girl). I walk through the entertainment plaza, kind of
dead as all the bar owners are cleaning up and preparing for the night
action. I get a few winks and catcalls from various early day Yings who
are looking for stragglers like me. I am very friendly and smile, and
tell them I will be back later. I cross the street and head over to
Annie’s, which is in Rajah hotel.

Mamasan greets me and all the
mid-day girls line up in a fish tank type waiting room (perhaps
slightly degrading) and to my disappointment they are all 3’s and 4’s.
I didn’t come to Thailand for this quality so I politely tell the
mamasan that I am not interested and perhaps I will come back later. A
little disappointed I venture out onto Sukhumvit road, the center for
shopping and commerce in the area. I walk for a dazed hour and a half
until I decide to go back to my hotel and try to find another one of
these Soapie’s I’ve heard so much about. Back at the hotel I search my
archives and decide to be safe and look for Poseidon, take down the
address. I’m learning that it’s not that easy to get an address and
expect to find a place, so I write it down carefully and head out. I
jump on the Sky Train, which is right outside the hotel and head out.
One and a half hours later I can’t find the place. At this point my
tank is running very low so I wander back to Nana Entertainment Center
because it is now 6:00 pm and I figure I can definitely find some
company there. I check my note pad for RB suggested places. I do a loop
and head up to the second floor.

I check out Angel Witch first but it
is still to early. All the yings are eating Thai street food as I walk
around the second level, I get a few more cat calls, some start trying
to grab my arm and pull me, as I walk around these outside of all these
clubs. I finally cruise over to The Big Mango. Bingo, a laid back
understated Oasis among a sea of tacky bars. I immediately see a group
of cute yings, they too are eating dinner. One approach’s me, she is
cute, I am tired and thirsty at this point and I need to get off my
feet. I order a beer and purchase her a lady drink (first step in
courting). She leaves to get the drink and another cute Ying comes
over, here it goes, I’m getting weak already. When Ying1 comes back I
offer to include Ying 2 and bought her a lady drink as well. I read
about this technique in “Why Thailand”, don’t commit to one if you see
several you like, buy them lady drinks and start a little party, well
it was working. Ying 2 was definitely affectionate and starting getting
a little physical. I was by no means ready to commit. Then Ying 3 comes
over and smiled, she was much more low- key, beautiful face, lips and
hair. So I offered to by her a Lady drink. Now I have three very cute
Yings fawning over me and I’m getting to know them. Good plan because I
know I’m going to barfine (pay the bar for her absence) one of these
cuties and I’m not going to the hotel alone.

Soapies tomorrow.
~h