After living in Bangkok for a while, one begins to yearn for the days when it all seemed so magical and new. The awe and wonderment that enveloped us, back when we too were green tourists, seems a distant memory. We’re happy to have learnt about the worst of the scams, to have figured out the going rate for ST/LT, and to have learnt to speak at least survival-level Thai.
But that jaw-dropping sense of amazement that you felt the first time you walked into a gogo bar full of naked beauties. The first time you saw a tail-light on an elephant. The first time that you wandered into a freelancer joint and realised that a couple of thousand baht was the only barrier between another night of what had hitherto been merely existence and a night of passion (or a good imitation of it) with any one of those women.
Some of us like to vicariously experience these experiences all over again by playing tour guide to a new guy in town. Watching his jaw drop when the show begins at Suzie Wong. Grinning in encouragement as he stands, lost, outside Lolita’s, wondering not only which girl he’s going to choose to get sucked off by, but how he could possibly reject all of the others.
But sometimes you need a new experience of your own. This is the path of danger, because after getting used to the night scene of Bangkok, what new experiences could there even be?
Some decide that whoring is not for them, and break new ground by trying to woo respectable Thai women. Internet dating is something a boom industry in this city. Others move to the up-market G-Clubs: money is still king here, but you’ll need more of it - and more than a little charm - to succeed with those women.
The darker path is one of self-furtherment within the bar scene. Once you’ve got over the initial thrill of being able to sleep with pretty much any girl of your choosing, then what next? Debauchery follows. Okay, anyone can get sex and a BJ. Maybe you could get her to do anal. Maybe you could pee on her. But could you get her to gargle with it? Could you take a dump in her ear?*
Done all the girls? Now what? Time to start on the mamasans? Then ladyboys? What next? The security staff? The DJ?
No, trying to reclaim that breathtaking thrill once you’ve seen too much leads down the path of frustration, high expenses, or pure abject terror. Or indeed all three.
So it was with surprise and no small amount of relief that I managed to accomplish a number of Fun Firsts this past week, without managing to encounter any of the problems listed above. Here’s a top five, because top fives are good:
- I spent ten thousand baht in one night for the first time ever. On Soi Cowboy. Not particularly proud of that one.
- I chose the hot new girl at Lolitas, who (predictably) wasn’t too skilled in the art of fellatio. So we had sex on a tatty towel in the booth instead. 1,100 baht all-inclusive, and the bar supplies the condom. Cheapest easy lay in Bangkok, if you factor in the cost of barfines and short-time rooms?
- I had a threesome with two girls whose combined age was still less than that of pmmp. But ten years more than mine, natch.
- I paid for sex via internet bank transfer. Okay, the transfer costs 25 baht, but better that than to get dressed and walk (walk!) to the ATM.
- I was propositioned for sex by a Tanzanian hooker, on my way home from The Big Mango. She had nice hair, an iffy face, but an awesome ass. I was a little drunk. What can you do?
Her: “Hi there”
Me: “Wello. Whoops. Hello. I love you.”
Her: “You wanna fuck me?”
Me: “Fugg you? I wanna bum you. Up the bum.”She said no. I had pizza instead.
*n.b. “Can I shit in your ear?” is the best line in the entire history of lines for getting rid of an annoyingly persistent hooker who won’t
take no for an answer. And I’ve tried a lot of lines. This one always works. Until one of them says yes.
What the heck has happened to Patpong? That’s the question I kept asking myself during a GoGo crawl I took with some mates this past Tuesday. A transformation of sorts appears to be happening as we head towards high season. Definitely for the better with the addition of Coyote dancers and stronger lineups.
The main reason for the trip to Patpong was to collect some additonal information about the bars there for the Guide. I brought a map, a pen, and my camera but ended up using none of these things. By the second GoGo I was already lit so Guide research went out the window in favor of other pursuits.
We started out in Pussy Collection and noticed that they now have Coyote dancers alternating with the GoGo girls like you see in so many Soi Cowboy gogos today. A trend many of us hoped would die but in Patpong there is a new twist, the barfines are only slightly higher for the Coyote girls. At Pussy Collection it was 700 baht versus 500 for the GoGo girls. We saw the Coyotes in three other GoGo’s that weren’t there before also but I didn’t inquire about the barfines in these other GoGo’s. I’m guessing it will be a similar policy to Pussy Collection.
The idea of Coyote Girls in GoGo’s has been met with a fair amount of criticism in the Guide and Blog but maybe it was because of the way the bars in Soi Cowboy are going about it. In the Cowboy bars like Spice Girls the girls are not that much better looking but are way more expensive and in some cases you can’t even barfine them. In Patpong, they are now quite affordable.
As for the looks of the Coyote girls, they are mostly different in the skin department, much lighter for the Coyote girls. There were one or two stunning Coyote girls that I saw but there are sometimes one or two stunning GoGo girls in a given bar as well. It’s more about skin color as I mentioned, which is ridiculous in my mind but does seem to be the order of nature here in Thailand. The whiter the skin the more valuable/expensive the girl is.
Along with the Coyote trend sweeping Patpong I noticed that a few of the GoGo’s have pretty decent lineups now. Of notable mention is the Thigh Bar (will be added to the Guide soon) which used to be very lame. Now, very strong. We took a seat and were immediately met by three tiny little Chiang Mai/Rai girls looking for action. They turned out to be a great deal of fun which lead to this quote from my friend “this is the best experience I’ve ever had in a GoGo”. Not quite that high of a ranking for me but a great time nonetheless. There were also a half dozen or so other cuties in the bar as well. A very pleasant surprise.
Other GoGo’s with decent lineups were Camelot Castle, King Castle 2 (I think it was 2) and Electric Blue. Sadly, the classic bars Safari and Goldfinger were not even worth a stay.
With the recent changes and with the addition of Parkbridge Club and the renovations to three of the more popular dance clubs, Patpong shows signs of life. A WARNING still applies to second floor bars with the rule of thumb being “avoid all second floor bars with the exception of Route66 and Kangaroo otherwise get stuck being overcharged for a very lame and disgusting show”.
Good news for mongers indeed and let’s hope the current trends continue. We will be updating the Guide over the next few weeks with additional information about Patpong, well, unless they send me to do it again.
Spotlight Reviews from the Guide:
1. “I have a certain fascination for grunge, so sometimes even though I’ve been warned I just have to find out for myself. I like Marmite for example.
Let me caution you against the Rose Bar - it was shite in every conceivable way. The ’service girl’ also turned out to be the ’service girl’ I would suggest that she had been hit repeatedly with an ugly stick but I don’t see the Federation of Ugly Sticks allowing any of their members anywhere near the place. The bar was grim and soiled but it turned out to be palace when compared to the dirty deed room. Coming up for air, quasimodo’s sister (QS) asked if I wanted to ‘make love?’ I expected to turn round and see a studio audience breaking into howls of laughter.
To add insult to injury a minor con to scam an extra 200 Baht out of me was attempted. When they QS and the owner saw my face they quickly backed off.
Yesman must surely have had a different service provider.” - doctorbond on Rose Bar
Rating: 1 star
2. “…Most of the girls “dancing” were nude most of the time but quite frankly I don’t find being stick thin, sagging breasts and morose expressions sexy so to me the quality of the girls was quite poor. In fact I have seldom seen less joy in the faces of gogo girls and far from being arousing their shuffling around naked was quite pitiable. A couple of the show girls were quite sexy but they disappeared quickly after thir routine and they didn’t look very friendly anyway…”- Nok Opayop on Long Gun GoGo
Rating: 1 star
9 New Reviews added this past week on the following Venues:
Bush Garden
Check Inn 99 Restaurant and Bar
Det 5
Euro Massage
Long Gun GoGo
Naree Massage
Pussy Collection
Rose Bar
Tulip Massage
Other Bar Bits:
- Prohibition Update: As it stands now bars cannot serve alcohol from 6:00pm Saturday until Sunday at either 6:00pm or Midnight. It was reported on the blog that Nana Plaza will be open Saturday night but not serving. We will update this thread as we hear more.
- Closing times: NEP/Soi4-2:00am, SC-2:00am, Patpong-2:00am
Visit any bars, clubs or gogo’s this week? If so, please feel free to leave a Comment below or on the Guide to share your experience.
A few early closures at Spice but other spots like The Tunnel, Spicy and Boss still going late. Lucky Pub after 6:00am. With the elections this weekend don’t be surprised if there are early closures.
Have any updates on braving the After Hours Scene? If so, please feel free to leave a Comment below and share your experience.
- Party Time! October 3rd. Prohibition Madness Party. Come on down Friday night for Free Food (7-10), Drink Specials, and Happy Hour All Night.
- Breakfast is now served. Free Wifi meet the Mango McMUFFin.
- Map
Quotes
#1 - “Shoes clean, get lady. Shoes not clean, get ladyboy” - What OnNutter heard from a shoe shine boy on soi 4.
#2 - “Which Rainbow are you from again?” - From a Punter friend who had just made a run through Rainbows 1, 3 and 4 and forgot which one he took his girlfriend for the night from, so he asked her right in front of me. Classic.
Tales
#1 - This one should serve as a severe WARNING to all Punters out there about combining mobile phones with video capabilities and threesomes. A Punter told me a tale about how he was busy getting it on with one of the two girls he brought back to his room while the other one was in the other room, or so he thought. When he was finished the other girl came over and jokingly showed him the video of the two going at it that she was secretly taking with her mobile phone. The Punter was shocked and quite thankful that the girl showed him the video as opposed to him finding it on YouTube one day. A lesson indeed to keep an eye on your little visitors and their mobile phone usage.
Have any Quotes, Photos, Jokes, or Tales you would like to share? If so, please leave a Comment below with your Quote, Joke or Tale or send them along with any Photos via email for possible inclusion in the next Weekly.
We strongly encourage participation with the Weekly. Ask a question or comment about anything by leaving a Comment below or send us information via email. The more folks participate the more useful this Weekly becomes. Cheers.
Weekly Contributors: BBB: Bangkok Bad Boy, ssB: sideshowBob, and pmmp: pii mai mii pom
Both quotes of the week very funny…….
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
Visited the Spice Club Monday last week, had two scotches and bought a lady drink. 500 Baht, over to Tilac, it was full, don’t know why, table dancers were way over weight, and there might have been three regular center floor lookers that caught my eye.
Long Gun was a washout, snotty dancers. Baccara full as usual lot of Japanese and Koreans. One other thing that bothers me is when you walk in a bar and sit down they have some little dumpy waitress stand right in front of you staring, no smile, just staring and listening to your every word. Drives me nuts. It’s had to talk trash when some thing is staring at you.
View all comments by The Man
1100 baht the cheapest easy lay in Bangkok? This is what happens when you consider yourself above the Nana car park, 3B. The cheapest I ever had from there was 450 baht (”all in”). Okay, we were both a bit worse for wear, and it was 3 a.m., but 450 baht stands as either a personal best, or worst, and even if I’d paid for a short-time hotel it would have clocked in at well under your extravagant luxury-style g-club 1100. I think YP has paid less for more, and I’m sure we’ll be hearing from him as soon as he’s finished delivering that consignment of re-packaged Chinese baby milk.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@Panties: In the same vein as Groucho Marx’s declaration that he would refuse to join any club that would have him as a member, I think I would probably refuse to sleep with any girl willing to shag me for 450 baht…
A friend paid 70 baht once. A 50 baht note, plus 20 in coins.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
“I think I would probably refuse to sleep with any girl willing to shag me for 450 baht…”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH!
Oh, god … this has to be the funniest thing I ever read …
View all comments by Pants Elk
The Ghost was in BKK on Saturday and Sunday and here’s a few additions:
BAR BITS
On Sunday you folks definately had a better Patpong experience than On Nutter and I enjoyed on Saturday. Saw OnNut here in Pattaya on Wednesday for the start of his 3-day visit — hopefully he’ll do a writeup — and he said the two Patpong trips were like night and day. So, with that caveat:
* Club Electric Blue - The best lineup of the this rainy Saturday night. Three hotties up front and center in Team A all were candidates for the next Mrs. Ghost.
* Kings’ Castle 1 - Lineup looked good when we entered, with all the girlies decked out in white bikinis and lingerie. My wingman and I both briefly entertained two of the finer King’s subjects. Mine turned out to be a shocking 31 years old - looked 25 - with a tight and surgically enhanced body. Both of us entertained thoughts of taking our damsels to the hotel upstairs, but mine wanted 2,000 baht for the pleasure and his just mumbled something about Malaysia and wandered off. So neither happened. Check bin.
* Kings’ Castle 2 - It was only right next door, but this is the point where things started to go downhill.. For one, there was the music. In KC1, I didn’t recall the music. Neither good nor annoying. In KC2 the tunes were awful, they assaulted you the moment you entered the bar. Far too loud and devoid of any actual music amid the techno car alarm. Then there was the lineup. Set far back behind the bar, the stage was full of dancers who would have fit perfectly into “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” None were too fat. None were too thin. None were ugly. None were attractive. And none had any sort of personality, or even the ability to move, it seemed. They were just “there.” We weren’t for long.
* Safari - When we stepped through the door around midnight there was a combined total of one woman dancing on the bar’s two stages. One. We never even made it to a chair before leaving.
* Kiss - The lineup was unremarkable, but not a disaster. But the music was totally unique. I’ve been go-gos with mainstream rock and dinosaur rock, but never metal and that’s what was on offer tonight. And, amazingly, some of the girls were digging it, showing more animation than the combined effort of the entire KC2 talent pool.
This is an abridged version. Full version here.
AFTER HOURS
* Spicy was closed both Friday and Saturday nights according to cabbies who refused to take me there to be sure.
* Ended up in Boss Satruday night. Now I understnad why you’re advised not to go there on weekend nights. As you do, I fell in love with a lovely 31-year-old (!!!) who is a enterprise software developer. Good looks, good job, totally drunk. Tells me to wait 5 mins. before we depart for an early mornign of lust and she never returns. Let’s say The Ghost was more than a little unhappy.
COMMENT
* BBB — I seem to recall a certain ladyboy in the Nana parking lot who, after you explained the whole “dump in ear” concept, actually agreed…
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
This week’s Werewolf foray was to the wild area of Soi 33 — or soi Dead Painters.
There’s a new club just opened about 5 weeks ago called Kiss (not to be confused with Kiss Go Go in Patpong, or the odd sign on the Black & White Bar at Soi Cowboy).
Soi 33’s Kiss Bar is in the same vein as most of the rest of the soi… a medium sized bar that focuses on beer & whiskey, with second tier girls.
Unfortunately I was intoxicated when I went in, and things just got worse. I asked to pay my bill at one point and was told I had done so already. When I said that I didn’t think so, the manager removed my wallet from my pocket and took out the credit card receipt to prove that I had in fact already paid.
At closing time the bartender invited me to dinner. We had a nice broiled fish at her favorite late night Thai shop, then she sat in the taxi with me all the way to my place. We had two sessions, but she showered and put on her panties a bit before noon, just when I was thinking about number 3. My wallet was empty so I walked with her to the ATM and gave her 1,500 for the long time session.
She took it without complaint, so my buck-per-bang beats BBB but not Pants Elk. If I’d squeezed that third one in (and I’m confident I could have) I would have been a close second though!
If you like the Soi 33 bars, Kiss will suit you. If you don’t, you’ll hate it just like all the others.
I was happy since I paid no barfine, no ST hotel and the mamasan didn’t let me pay my bill twice.
View all comments by Werewolf
Having Coyotes in a Gogo is not a problem if the BF is only slightly more expensive (same as show girls), which is not the case in Cowboy gogo-turned-coyote.
Now the question is: do the Coyote girls from Patpong Gogo actually go out and at what price?
Bear with me, I’ll go and find out
View all comments by SukPsycho
@Suk: I only did the money research at Pussy Collection, which had the weakest of the new Coyote lineups in Patpong. The mamasan told me 700 for the barfine but the ST/LT is up to you and the girl. I’m guessing this structure will be better than the way Cowboy is doing it. Awaiting your research…
View all comments by pmmp
I’m of the opinion that paying more for coyotes is bullshit. What criteria establishes the standard for which girls end up being coyotes anyway? I’d wager a cooler full of Rolling Rock and rocky mountain spotted oysters there is none.
Can’t think of a single time where I haven’t seen at least one gogo girl who had the better looks than one of the coyotes. Its a scam right up there with the no meter cab ride and Patpong second floor bar shows in my opinion.
View all comments by Bubba
@Bubba: Aren’t you a fan of G-Clubs?
View all comments by pmmp
what a sec - there is no correlation between coyote girls at g-clubs and coyote girls at go-gos - let alone a comparison.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
I had a drink in a Appache bar in cowboy the other week with a friend and ended up with a Bt27,000 bar bill. I think we did ring the bell a few times…..
View all comments by MSB
@ The Man Take the advice of the ‘all knowing’ Mango Weekly
if the waitress is cramping your style. Suggest you
take a dump in her ear. You know it makes sense!!!
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
Pants Elk - Heres a story for you……
I was mincing/staggering down Walking Street Pattaya in my customary skintight tshirt one night, pissed as a cunt, and with 28 or so baht on me, when i was approached by a ‘Lima Bravo’ who naturally wanted a shot at the champ…… “Sexy young man” she shouted (That would be ME) “where you go?”……
Over the course of the next minute or so, we established that i has FUCK ALL cash on me, and she was going to nosh me off for free at her place, just for the privilige (sp?) We hopped on a motosai and was whisked off to her dingy room 10 minutes away, that could be politely desribed as a shithole (worryingly she didnt say a single word to the motosai driver, as he knew exactly where she lived)
After nigh on an hour of her licking my wang like a retard at a happy-daycare bus window, It was time for me to depart. She decided she wanted to get some sleep, and said she’d give me motosai money to get back to WS.
It was such a shame she had nothing smaller then a crisp purple 500baht note in her purse. By rights i should of slapped the remenance of my jizz from her mouth and demanded a brown note. Balls emptied and 500baht richer, i slunk into the night
View all comments by Young Penfold
For you Patpong fans, I just saw this on (ahem) another blog.
Seems that if you mention this (ahem) other blog to Mike at Mike’s Place on Patpong 2, he’ll give you a 50% discount on drinks.
Doesn’t Mike’s also have something else ont he menu? That wasn’t mentioned on the more “family friendly” (ahem) other blog.
http://www.thailandmusings.com/bangkok/mikes-place-patpong-2-in-bangkok/
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
hey ,
cool got ur attention and not in a s&m way can anyone tell me bangkok s metal scene rock new wave anything cos want to break it believe i have the tunes and rock edge but google is very GAY hahaahahahaha
so can anyone point me in direction email/telephone numbers anything and im a free dj just want the gigs cheers
View all comments by eddy
Went to an interesting venue this morning - very busy with customers but all the girls were grossly overweight, foul-mouthed and the service was terrible. However, there was one cute Thai girl working there which made things a lot more interesting. The venue was not the Soi 7 Beergarden but the HSBC bank in Dulltown, UK. It just so happened that the only female in the place that wasn’t hideous was Thai - well, she said her parents were Thai so that’s close enough.
Another cheap Charlie story: Years ago I drunkenly picked up a girl in the Thermae at about 3am. She said that she wanted to go with me (well, I am a handsome man after all) but I explained that the coffers were bare. All she wanted was something to eat - fortunately I happened to have a packet of the most excellent Mama noodles at home.
Deal - well they were Tom Yum Gung flavour”
View all comments by Nok Opayop
Sorry to hear about the bad vibes at “Goldfinger”. I was actually at the opening about a million years ago. Used to be a great place with VERY good looking girls who were friendly and cooperative.
BTW, is Randy still there?
View all comments by The Asian Badger
What a heartwarming story YP shares here with us!
As the subject of personal handsomeness seems to come up (er) again and again, I suggest we have a vote right here and now to determine who’s the most handsome. I vote for me. So I’m winning. I am the most handsome.
View all comments by Pants Elk
PE: Not even close… Every time I walk past a bar in Bangkok I hear shouts of “Handsome man! Handsome man!” from the assembled beauties. I reckon I’ve gathered approximately 437,386 votes during my time in Bangkok. It might only be 437,384 though… I’m not sure how many girls were in Pedro’s on the 21st of June this year… I thought it was 5 but it could have been just three.
Anyway. I’m winning now.
View all comments by Werewolf
On the subject of cheap, free or pay-you-for sex shagging episodes, I beleive that last night I was honestly offered a free shag for the price only of paying the barfine.
I was smashed on a combo of vodka, Lipo, Barcardi, Diet Coke and 2 antihistimines and the girl was ugly even with those beer goggles. So I passed. Actually I simply never fully beleived her. But in the sober light of morning, I think it was legit.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Maybe my gaydar gives off some serious heat, but down in Pattaya on at least 7-8 different occasions I’ve barfined an LB on the premiss that I have the pleasure of poking their shit in up for free. At first I was sceptical that it was a cunning plot to drug, mug and rape me, but as it stands i am yet to wake up as an extra in a LB bukkake video
View all comments by Young Penfold
YP… How may of the LB’s have thought twice about going with you incase YOU may drug, mug and rape them.
Whilst us mortals fear the gruesome LB’s..the gruesome LB’s fear you.
View all comments by Daywalker
Personally I prefer to drug, bum and only THEN do i mug them. Its better logistically speaking
I have just booked a for 10 of Guess Bars finest to pick me up at the airport on january 10th. Ill be greeted by their hysteric croaky howls and screams as i bounce through immigration, where the Beegees smash ’stayin alive’ will be blasted through the tannoy system on my arrival.
We will then be whisked away in a pink limo where i will perform acts on these deranged bastards you wouldnt do onto a farmyard animal. Then its of the the mango for a few flat spy wine coolers, and a mango burger to replenish my protein supplies
View all comments by Young Penfold
I hear you, man. It’s really different when you’re a greenhorn roaming the streets at night looking for cheap thrills. And only for a couple of baht, you’re satisfied easily, and you feel like you had more than your money’s worth. But it’s human nature, I guess, to always want more.
View all comments by Michel
@ Michel: It’s the same reason I have 200GB of porn on hard drive and still surf the net for new content.
So my flight to Singapore got in at 5:00 am. Checked into my hotel by 6. Showered and strolled 3 blocks and got to Naughty Girl in Orchard Towers by 7 am, still going strong. Picked up a cutie, back to the hotel for some ST (what a walk of shame… the doorman, the receptionist, the elevator guy all knew the score), and I’m banging her 135 minutes after touchdown at Changi. She hit the pavement 15 minutes ago. Dodgers-Cubs starts in 10 minutes and I’m on a quest for a bar showing the game (it’s not looking good for your crew, Bkk22, sorry; maybe next year). Maybe a trip to Geylang after the game, then dinner & back to OT.
I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a horny punter can feel, a horny punter at the start of a week-long journey whose conclusion is uncertain, but is going to contain a crapload of nookie. I hope I can get it up 4 times a day. I hope to see my friends, and we all get laid by 9.5s and 10s, for free. I hope the the snatch of that Resort girl is as clean shaven as it’s been in my dreams. I hope.
View all comments by fender
Can I suggest a massive year-end Mango party to honour YP’s epochal return to Bangkok? I’m thinking maybe December number 29. or 30, or 31? I know he won’t be here, but that’s his problem.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@fender - “maybe next year” are words all too familiar to me. At least Zambrano threw a no-hitter this year, that’ll keep us coming back.
View all comments by bkk22
@bkk22…Too bad he did it at Miller Park!!
View all comments by The Asian Badger
PE — the 30th is my birthday, so I think that’d be a fine day.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
The Return of YP Party before his return, okay, booked. Even if he was here during the party it’s hard to imagine he would stay more than 5 minutes given the proximity of the Mango to Guess.
View all comments by pmmp
I have inside information on the YP Return. It appears we will be on the same plane together mid January.
I did tell him that I’d send a drink down from upstairs at various stages of the flight.
- I’m good like that.
View all comments by Daywalker
@DW and YP: Oh man, a whole new meaning to the Mile High Club. Luckily your both small enough to fit in the tiny airplane bathroom. You may want to go just one round though and save some for the Guess Limo on the way into town.
Prohibition Update: Well, the prohibition due to elections has destroyed all business on soi 4. It is very dead right now. Big Dog’s, Hilary Bars, Morning Night and even Melody Bar are all closed, as is the Mango. Even the Golden Bar had only three guys drinking Coke. The Mango and I’m sure most every other bar will open again around 6pm tonight.
View all comments by pmmp
pmmp.
Are you kidding me? The TOILET (there is no bath in there) on the plane is massive. You can get 3 people in there at least. So if there are any others coming out that day….?
View all comments by Daywalker
Okay - if the Big Mango Brothers are up for it January NUMBER THIRTY for the Grand Welcome Back Penfold! Party. Can we have a few t-shirts printed up with an appropriate message we could wear? And post the photographs on the blog so he can see what a swell time we’re having at his party? I’m thinking of something along the lines of HAHAHAHA YOU SAD FUCK PENFOLD!!! or WISH YOU WERE HERE - DON’T YOU? but let’s have a few more suggestions. There’s plenty of time to get this right, and I think it’s be worth a little expense to meake him feel really good like we’re his mates and everything? Of course Daywalker won’t be hauling his sorry arse onto a barstool that night either, but it’s not his party anyway. Gosh! What a neat idea this is! We can have swell balloons and banners and make it like Prom Night!! And post the pictures of us laughing at him sorry with him! Hahahahahahahahaha!
View all comments by Pants Elk
ahh fender -
must be good to be back.
judging from the shorts I saw her in last time she looks to be trimmed but my guess not bald. probably the jap style combover but it still works.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
@pmmp — Mango closed? You do serve food and Coke. Not worth the effort?
@DW — Can’t beleive he said “bathroom.” He shoudl know better. Now every time I hear a (fellow) American use the word bathroom I start replaying that scene out of Trainspotting in my head…
PE — Did you screw up the date? You said JANUARY. Don’t you mean December? YP is back early Jan.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
Panties.-
You are correct… there WILL be a party, but it’ll be on the 29th. As it’s my B’day, and there will be loads of free beer and food.
All my friends are invited… so it’ll be a cheap night.
Failing that, my Mango Brothers and I will be hitting Pattaya.
(Don’t tell PG)
So then YP…. If I were to upgrade your seat from Peasant Class… what would it be worth??? An altercation with PE which would result in him taking his teeth home in a crisp packet?
View all comments by Daywalker
Wupes.
My bad. Yes, the Grand Welcome Back Penfold! Party is DECEMBER (NUMBER TWELVE) NUMBER THIRTY.
I’ve been thinking about the shirts - I think just Welcome Back Penfold! would say it all in the nicest possible way.
VOTE SARA PALIN!
View all comments by Pants Elk
Daywalker — Dec. 29 is your b-day? Mine is 30. Sounds like two good excuses for a party.
Why not tell me you’re in town? You hurt my feelings
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
@PG: It probably would have been profitable to be open Sat. night but we wanted to blow it out Friday night and then have everybody recover Sat and Sun. Seemed like the right move. We are open now but still not serving. A couple of the little bars on soi 4 have started but we’re waiting for the bigger one’s to serve before we do.
View all comments by pmmp
PG… it’s JANUARY.
Do you see what confusion PE causes when he comments without thinking it through. I guess it’s his age.
We were not going to tell you, as we’re hoping to surprise you by turning up at a random LB bar along soi 6 to catch you out!
View all comments by Daywalker
@ DW - in return for my upgrade, I will pioneer the ‘Balloon night’ on your b’day
Anyone i identify as a balloon chaser, gorging their cheap, fat fucking faces, and gleefully swilling all the free grog, will receive a glass ashtray in the side of the head, and in their comatosed state, i will take extreme liberties with their ‘balloon knot’ in full view of the bar (balloon chaser - balloon knot - balloon night - geddit?)
Also on the said night, anyone that punches BBB in the stomach so hard he vomits/shats his pants, will prompt me to ring the bell.
I think for DWs party, we should have fancy dress. I have a bow-tie and leather chaps that are crying out for a jolly good airing (once i’ve sand blasted off the blood and sick from the gusset)
View all comments by Young Penfold
YP:.. you’re a star of light.
I shall stock up on glass ashtrays and vomit buckets (for BBB)
Fancy Dress? I like that.
I’ll go as pmmp.
View all comments by Daywalker