Howdy folks. By now u should have read the new weekly - which probably is more interesting than this post but hell - life goes on. The bad news for today is that Krispy Kreme is expanding rapidly in Asia but it seems Thailand is not on the list. Damn. Moment of silence for - Isaac Hayes, but check this article out:
If Hayes had progressed high enough on the Bridge, he might have begun preparing for his next life in the final days of this one. According to former Sea Org member Chuck Beatty, some upper-level operating thetans are said to possess the ability to choose their next set of birth parents.
Maybe he will get born to a set of Thai parents and he will become the next Bird or Sek of Thailand. Strange shit these Scientology wack nuts.
Speaking of crazy - check this new game show idea for the Playboy channel:
The threesome will go on a date, and at the end, the guy will choose one girl to be his solo companion for the evening. After a few hours together, he must decide if he is going to enjoy an awkward exciting weekend getaway with the stranger, or give her up and leave with some potentially cool gear.
Poor america - so desperate for quality puss that they indulge in gadgets instead of girls. Ever heard of Thailand folks? By day u can go to Pantip or Fortune tower. By night you could go to NEP or Pent Club. Point being in Thailand we get our cake and eat it to. Meaning I got gadgets and the girls. Yeah baby!
Thailand is in the news again for all the wrong reasons - Monks are prowling Hi5!
“I call on Hi5 users to tell the monks to leave the site if they are found using it,” junior minister Jakrapob Penkair told reporters after a Buddhist monitoring group said some monks were flirting on the Web site popular with Thai users.
Seems YP has some competitors out there.
Okay folks - it is Dear Abby time:
Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas , who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is a part time ‘working girl’.
All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports (Barack Obama/John McCain) for President?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
This was sent in by a card carrying republican but I figure one could use it however they see fit. 
Personally I have not been watching the Olympics at all - I just don’t care to see them in China. I have always felt that China securing the Olympics was a bad thing for the freedom of China. It was good to pick up The Economist, my fav mag, and discover that I am not alone in this thinking since I take a lot of shit for it.
This is indeed a cause for great celebration. But the Olympics have had little to do with it. On balance, the award of the games has done more harm than good to the opening up of China.
To me the example of the lip-syncing opening ceremony sums up exactly what is going on in China - just a big cover up job really. Lipstick on the pig comes to mind.
Gigaom sums it up well here:
My silent protest is also against the impotency of the global corporations that kowtows to China in hope of some day making money off the booming Chinese market, or the world media that seems to playing along with whatever limitations China seems to have imposed.
I can’t link to the article but the Wall Street Journal had an editorial piece calling the games what they really are - a very large sports money making machine. On the surface I have no problem with that but when they don’t pay taxes and try to tell people they are fighting for humanitarian causes, freedom or whatever - you have to see it for what it really is - just a big load of BS. The cover ups and so on during the Chinese games are showing the true colors of the IOC. What about the young gymnasts - that also seems a bit much.
Maxim mag party next week - don’t u wish u were going?
quote: Pattaya is the Wal Mart of the p4p scene.
peace
“…quote: Pattaya is the Wal Mart of the p4p scene.”
Great line, man. Where did you hear that?
View all comments by Old Asia Hand
oah - i was standing on soi mango with an older, but distinguished gentleman and we were discussing the finer points of the p4p scene and the contrast of the overall scene in regards to pattaya and bangkok. Then he popped this quote out - awesome stuff. Was tough to take him seriously given the ladyboys on each arm but none the less - a great quote indeed.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
I guess the dude with the quote likes shopping in the “gun” section of Walmart?
View all comments by pmmp
In which case, what would be the Harrods?
View all comments by doctorbond
doc - of the p4p scene?
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Yes - money no object….
View all comments by doctorbond
d - hard to quantify this but if what u mean is u want quality and are willing to pay for it then for me it is the bkk scene and it is the gclubs, the massage parlours with real sideliners or possibly the agents who run models and stuff looking for p4p income.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Yes - a television presenter for 30k - 50k - only an idle thought - although it can be good to experience the ultimate luxury just once. however, I’ll prob stick to the cheap stuff - gotta keep money in reserve for the daily Mango McMuffin
View all comments by doctorbond
speaking from experience - the Mango McMUFFin™ is the bomb. I would eat one everyday but I will get too big so doing the every other day thing right now.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
I will need about 30 starting in 5 weeks time - ok?
View all comments by doctorbond
Do you serve THE MANGO MCMUFFIN™ all day or do I have to get up in the morning to score one?
View all comments by Old Asia Hand
breakfast served all day - as it should be.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Just a note on the Olympics part they had an article today that I ran across that talked about the large scroll that they rolled out at the opening ceremonies. They had something like 900 soldiers hidden underneath to roll it out. They had to wait there 7 hours and were told to wear diapers because they would not be allowed bathroom breaks during the ceremonies.
Same story also talked about how the girls who carried the sign as each team came in were selected. They brought them into a room and told them to strip naked. Their measurements were taken and only the most beautiful were selected.
The less beautiful got to be cheerleaders who stood on the sidelines and cheered the teams as they walked by. For that job, they trained for 6 months. Girls would get up at 5am to be at practice by 6am and would get home around 8 or 9pm at night.
And everyone involved is so happy. They’re drunk on the punch that they have to do everything to make their country look good. Even if that means being totally dehumanized.
View all comments by Billy Bangkok
Just found the link.
http://www.bangkokpost.com/topstories/topstories.php?id=129662
View all comments by Billy Bangkok
bb - they say one of the girls was injured during practice as well.
just a serious load of lipstick on a very ugly pig.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Jobs I wish I’d had # 42
“They brought them into a room and told them to strip naked. Their measurements were taken and only the most beautiful were selected”
View all comments by doctorbond
No, really - some of those women weightlifters were really hot. The South Americans. The Venezuelan, the couple of stonkers from Colombia … and the commentary was priceless, too - “a very clean snatch” !!! So I’m getting in a tumescent froth over the Latin lovelies when the appalling horse-creatures from Eastern Europe stomp up - AAAAAAAAY!! RUN AWAY!!!! If I was the Olympic Committee I’d never let these hairy-chested boilers out of the changing rooms. I’d disqualify the gonad-concealing sea-monsters. In fact, I’d make the weights out of styrofoam, so pert-n-pretty girlies could compete. And I’d restructure the judging in all womens’ events, awarding the gold to the competitor deemed most shaggable by a panel of Normal Blokes. Some events, such as putting the shot, may not garner any medals at all, encouraging a comelier crop at the next Olympics. Who gives a fuck how far they can throw a lump of lead? No fucking body, that’s who. We want a curvy body barely restrained by a lycra leotard, and quim-centric camera angles, and footage from the showers … and … huh? McMuffins?
View all comments by Pants Elk
PE - you should be having a word with pmmp for his next gameshow - lycra, bodies straining against flimsy clothing, oiled limbs, floor level camera angles…. phew….
But thats enough about Young Penfold, we should invite women too
View all comments by doctorbond
I only wrote the comment so’s I’d have something funny to read. The comments have been uniformly dull and witless recently. I blame the absence of Young Penfold. He may be a retarded rent-boy, but he makes me laugh. And Bangkok Bad Boy is too busy combing and waxing his old posts to add anything (he says - I know better - he’s totally immersed in online Fantasy Football Manager, sitting up there in Badboy Towers in a sheepskin coat and felt trilby, leading his team of imaginary soccer chums to the top of a virtual league). I yearn for the Old Days, when Anonzo was getting us all to do discreet air punches. Perhaps OAH can get his pipe going and regale us with tales of when the NEP was a leafy bower inhabited by frolicking nymphs who’d let you come on their dainty white ankles for one baht.
View all comments by Pants Elk
I agree - we need something we can all get behind (or in front of) - another Large Infant Kenneth submission is surely on the cards…?
View all comments by doctorbond
Four words - Norwegian beach volleyball team. And I don’t even like palefaces. Still haven’t seen the Brazil team, but I’d go on a killing spree to bang them I’m quite sure.
View all comments by tosh
Hear hear Smitty, rest in peace Ike, wherever you are!
View all comments by milo
“Down Shaft” sage advice for us all
View all comments by doctorbond
I’m very disappointed with the NBC coverage of beach volleyball. There’s a bikini dance team that comes out and grinds during the breaks, but NBC’s cameras angles are set up to avoid any possible view of them. You can see their feet running on to the court now and then, but I bet the cameramen get fired if they let that happen. God forbid anyone see a girl in a bikini during beach volleyball! But I’m sure NBC’s terrified of angry parents worried about little Billy seeing a girl dancing in a bikini writing letters to the sponsors… at least until Friday night, when they’ll all get drunk and go to the HS football game and see their daughters and their friends’ daughters griniding away in outfits that would fit right in at NEP, with “Mustangs” written on their tight pantied asses.
Really SSB, Krispy Kreme? I can think of about 10 Thai desserts I’d rather have. Is it a touch-of-home thing? All the KK’s in the US are closing or have closed, done in by the South Beach Diet.
Speaking of optical illusions, how did Janos Baranyai get his arm to do that?
View all comments by fender
Yeah, I’m pretty hot for Minka Kelly. She’s on my “free pass” list, along with Scarlet, Megan Fox and our 19 y.o. nanny.
View all comments by fender
I just started using hi5 this week
Some whore……… i mean girl, that i met through tagged.com said i should ‘play hi5′ so i did with the lure of getting my prick wet
Monumental waste of fucking time. Theres no search function where i can scower for off-duty bar whores and cock hungry uni cunt. I wasted an hour of my life setting my page up to find out I can only add people I know. Wheres the fun in that? Answer - NONE
The time would of been better spent counting the hairs on 20 bollocks, or perhaps fisting a horse.
Tagged.com is where its at kids. If you see some gay looking, jew-nosed, young dullard in his underpants using pidgeon english……. add me. Ludicrous amounts of beaver on there waiting to be snapped up.
View all comments by Young Penfold
“The bad news for today is that Krispy Kreme is expanding rapidly in Asia but it seems Thailand is not on the list. Damn”
ssBOB MY GOD MAN ARE YOU LOSING YOUR SENSE OF PRIORITES or just phasing into the the changing values of old age. First come the Krispy Kreme the come the Thai “FATTIES”
No “fatties” in Thailand is our #1 concern
View all comments by 8 ball
8 Ball,
What do you mean, then come the fatties? Have you been living in a cave? Every day and night I’m out and about I’m amazed at the size of some of these cows. Never seen such asses except on a water buffalo. While I’m at it why is it when you you see a real keeper in her Uni outfit, she is with some grossly overweight, ugly cow, shuffling along with her, and if you try to get a little eye contact, the cow gets into your line of sight?
View all comments by The Man
Should be obvious, no? The gorgeous/repulsive team is common everywhere in the world. The fat one gets the prestige of being the hottie’s friend (believing some of the glamour to rub off on them), and the hot one has someone to deflect unwanted attention. If she wanted to speak to you, she would.
View all comments by Pants Elk
It’s like when I hit the bars with Young Penfold. He keeps the girls off me as a personal favour.
View all comments by Pants Elk
YP,
Have you found out where the Thai beauties are in your area or are you stuck with the standard bad skin, over made up, grossly overweight, with bad attitudes, locals? Please include a pic of your latest true love.
View all comments by The Man
8 ball - not sure what u mean. I love thailand - that is why I live here and apart from my old real world salary I have just about everything one could ever need. There are a few things I am missing - my old bmw motorbike, california driving roads, used to be mcd mc muffins(we know have the Mango McMUFFin so no drama) and krispy kreme donuts. Deal - I like em. If I open a franchise here I promise not to serve girls under the age of 25. cool?
View all comments by sideshowBOB
@sideshowBOB (!) If you like the Economist, you may also want to check out Monocle (www.monocle.com). Not sure if they have it at the newsstands in Thailand; it’s a great mag though, inspired by the Economist (according to its founder), but ‘hip’. The latest issue has a feature on a Bangkok radio station.
View all comments by Julian
j - thanks. I think it is started by the wallpaper dude - tyler brulee I think it is. I have heard good things about it but not sure I have seen it around here. will see if I can find it. coolio!
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Yes, it’s TB’s mag. He’s one cool mother. You can download their podcasts on iTunes for free (just search for Monocle). They’re awesome.
View all comments by Julian
The Man, PE, ssB — Krispy Kreme wouldn’t actually have much impact as Thailand is now officailly the fattest country in SE Asia:
http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/218595,health-ministry-says-thais-fattest-in-southeast-asia.html
Also, ssB — Careful what you wish for. On a trip to the UK last year I found a Krispy Kreme in a mall in Birmingham. I was so thrilled, I grabbed 4 of them without even thinking. Then I got to the cashier and it was just over 2 pounds!
That’s $4 for 4 donuts!
I never remembered them being that expensive in the States.
Finally, remember the hat tip in your post the other day on the Brit who correctly predicted his Thai wife wudl kill him in Roi Et? Story has been updated.
Big surprise here: The woman was a former Pattaya bargirl.
View all comments by Pattaya Ghost
j - thanks for the info. monocle was 600 baht here so will check it online. which bkk radio station did they mention?
pg - krispy kremes were not that pricey in the states. a warm glazed one with a glass of milk is heaven.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
http://monocle.com/sections/culture/Web-Articles/Bangkok-Community-Radio/
In the US, Monocle is $10. I read it at the bookstore
View all comments by Julian
I cried my eyes out for the Hammer, first bernie mac and now another childhood influence is gone. THE MAN is having banner year with DMX gone batshit crazy, Rampage cheated out of his title. Good thing he hasn’t started going after hispanics or Cheech Marin would’ve been dead a long time ago. In the end i figure it’s a trade off for having Obama as the Dem candidate this year.
Krispy kremes has nothing on the YumYums on Wilson way in stockton. you can eat a maple bar and get schooled in the fine art of pimping from the areas greatest hustlers and pimps. lessons are free after 10pm. you can even bring a lady friend to practice your newfound wisdom on.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
The Man - I stand by this, tagged is a numbers game. If i add 10 beauties on there, maybe 1 or if your lucky 2 will be remotely interesting.
Sometimes I add ugly ones that look slutty on the premise of being able to split her pink with minimal effort.
I got about 4-5 bitches in my neighbourhood of Ladprao, but always make sure i get there soi number or where they live so i dont trip myself up
Its good to connect with a few across the kingdom. Ive arranged a detour to Udon Thani on my return to meet a dick-stiffeningly cute but dumb as dog-shit waitress (yeh right) in Udon.
Get my email of Sideshow and ill send you my tagged profile
View all comments by Young Penfold
ssb - good to hear that i’m not the only one who craves krispy kremes, the original mcmuffin (not the thai style) and diner style breakfasts, while at the same time being thoroughly disgusted at the thought of baked beans with breakfast. haven’t tried the mango mcmuffin yet, but it’s on my “to do” list, along with two girls from shark.
View all comments by generous sponsor
gs - get the McMUFFin first for the energy prior to the muff diving.
kk rule.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Wouldn’t you know it. Thailand’s ONLY medal so far is the gold in Snatch and Jerk.
I’ll admit, I’m partial to the little Minx who had the Power Snatch! She’d probably jerk your center rod off with that smooth snatch she has.
Who comes up with these names anyways? They certainly can’t say it with a straight face…
View all comments by Moonman
mm - that is funny shit and so telling.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Yes, glad we didn’t overlook pouring a little out for Bernie too.
One thing about the Thai team I was disappointed with at the opening ceremonies, was they didn’t parade out any eye-candy, the delegation doesn’t have to be all athletes, why not try to show off a bit like the Chinese did with their gals?
I was hoping they would rep so viewers who haven’t been to LOS would know why some of their friends always go.
Or maybe it was better they didn’t?
View all comments by dogflye