Wow. It’s over but the hard work is just beginning. Last night Team Mango Blog hunkered down over pmmp’s laptop to bring over all of bbb’s hallowed content. For those who run their own blogs and have ever done this then you know how much of a pain it is. I was there for moral support and On Nutter even stopped by for some over the shoulder consulting. Google, WP docs and many a website were consulted to make this work. Everything was good until we realized none of the comments came over. Huge bummer but then after poking around in mySQL we discovered that the comments were there but WP assumed they were not. Some sql hacking solved the problem. I stood back and had another drink. So the gist of it all is the content is here but we need to edit all the posts, work on navigating back content and tighten things up a bit. So please bear with us.
Just to give u a sense of the work involved in all this - after the upgrade and the import of bbb’s stuff - the blog now has 982 posts and 17,267 comments. A proper beast now.
All of bbb’s stuff is here: http://www.2thebigmango.com/author/bbb/ but as it has already been noted we need to work on a better way to navigate back content. The Super Mango Archives page is organized by date - so makes it somewhat easy to find stuff. Anyway - the cleanup work is just starting so give us some time.
For all of the authors without usernames - we have a special place for u:
http://www.2thebigmango.com/author/john-obama/
Tricycle lives there along with many other famous authors who are technically inept.
Party set for Friday - be there or be square.
Will leave you with this tasty one from Pattaya News:
Arriving at the scene, Police cautiously approached Mr. Ralf Gunter Krolkiewicz aged 53, a former movie actor from Germany who was lying in the corner of the shop with deep lacerations on his neck and wrists. It was clear that the man had also urinated in his trousers.
U think so? What the hell happens to these people since I swear this shit only goes down in Pattaya.
Rumors that this is the German challenged to a fight by Young Penfold are absolutely baseless. I should know, because I just started them. Also this event is in no way connected to YP’s sudden flight to the UK. Anyone who says it is will have me to deal with.
View all comments by Pants Elk
i guess the rule about not wearing white also applies to guys when they are on their rags…
View all comments by Mr Carpet
I just get stunned by this stuff.
Let’s see. Today I will go into the family mart, with a full bladder - then attempt to kill myself by hacking my wrists and neck. Wonder if anyone will notice.
So fucking sad really - what drives people to this?
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Maybe he got attacked by a thai werewolf drunk on mekhong?? It does seem like crazy shit always goes down in Pattaya. i’ve only been there twice in 3 years and each time i’ve gotten into fights over the most insance shit imaginable such oogling some guys favorite bargirl.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
yes it is sad. i am sure that dude has family. imagine what they would think if they saw that photo. i guess he’s just another one finding out that his “gf” wasnt actually in wuv with him but just after the cash in his (now empty) bank account.
View all comments by Mr Carpet
Anyome who’s been reading my From the Headlines columns over the past couple of months know that I’ve been banging away on Pattaya’s crime issue. (It also was a column here a few weeks back.) But just to give you a true sense of the scope of crime, suicides and straight up weird incidents reported to the police, below is a list of the headlines from Pattaya One news for just the past month:
17 Year Old suspected thief caught breaking into South Pattaya Apartment.
Undercover Police arrest suspected French drug dealer.
Taxi Driver loses a hand following brutal knife attack in North Pattaya.
One man detained following Police shootout with 4 man drug gang in Jomtien.
Babysitter kills herself as she looks after a 6 month old baby.
Construction Worker shot in the groin by 4 men dresses as Police Officers.
Attempted rape leads to vicious Samurai Sword attack in Naklua.
Suspected Cambodian drugs courier arrested by Pattaya Police.
Drug User Steals Motorbike to purchase Yabba Tablets.
Woman badly hurt in Third Road attempted Necklace Snatch.
Two men arrested following bizarre incident on Jomtien Beach.
Two Chinese Tourists caught smoking Marijuana in Disco Car Park.
Man arrested following attempted theft of Air Con compressors from house owned by
Father-in-Law of former Thai Prime Minister.
Police hunt gang following apparent random shooting spree.
Highway Police catch suspected drug dealer.
Underage Bar Workers as young as 8 years old found in Sunee Plaza Police Operation.
Man arrested at South Pattaya Restaurant for impersonating a Police Officer.
Heart-broken German cuts his wrist and throat in North Pattaya Convenience Store.
Daytime Shooting Mystery.
Man shot dead in front of his family-owned shop at the Niran Grand Condo.
18 year old shot after he rescues his younger brother from gang.
Glue sniffers caught attempting to steal man-hole covers from local school.
11,400 Yabba Tablets seized in two related cases in Banglamung.
Italian drugged and robbed by woman in Central Pattaya Apartment.
Suspect caught following theft of 50,000 Baht’s worth of hose attachments from the Royal Garden Plaza.
Female Drug Dealer caught following undercover operation.
Foreigner beaten unconscious following drunken incident in Soi 8 Beer Bar.
American accused of sexually assaulting a 5 year old girl.
Police arrest drug dealer and fake Police Officer.
Drunken Foreigner goes on the rampage at 5 star Hotel.
Pizza Delivery Boy caught up in armed robbery in Jomtien.
German caught in crossfire and injured in Soi Kow Noi shooting.
Construction Worker whipped and then stabbed to death by Site Manager.
American jumps to his death from North Pattaya Hotel.
Fake Police Officer detains two women and demands money for their release.
English Man discovered dead in his apartment.
Journalist Robbed at Gunpoint of Camera.
Light-fingered ladyboy caught after attempted robbery.
Traditional Saturday Night Shooting Claims Six Victims
Woman Claims Rape While Babysitting.
Bag Snatch Victim Injured.
Man Confesses to Improper Activities with Minor.
Mystery surrounds Woman discovered dead in here home.
Caught on Tape – Motorbike theft, as it happens.
Seafood Vendor badly hurt in Jomtien Beach attack.
18 Year old Woman caught stealing from Tesco-Lotus.
Murder of Suicide? Body of Dutch Man discovered in his burnt out house.
German hangs himself following apparent fears that his Wife will cheat on him.
Danish Man involved in necklace snatch in Central Pattaya.
View all comments by The Ghost
mr c - correct me if I am wrong but the dude did it to himself?
Seems some people should just not be in pattaya. they lose it. Maybe they should not even be in Thailand. I have had my fair share of experiences and regrets but I tend to learn from them. bargirl gf’s - can really mess u up if u let them. However the constant access to booze, sex and drugs can get to people. I am always glad I did not come to Thailand when I was young - it would have been a mistake.
However when these olders guys lose it I am baffled as to what they were thinking to begin with. Just so strange.
pg - it reads like a tourism leaflet!
View all comments by sideshowBOB
As for the Family Mart guy, maybe that annoying door bell triggered an automatic psychological response. It has almost happened to me before.
@PG - I will admit that Pattaya has more crime (and freakier crime too). However, your list reads like the headlines in the Thai newspapers, which makes me believe that your town is not alone. The crime rate here is off the charts, and while Silom and Sukhumvit may not be as visibly bad, the rest of Bangkok - according to the Thai press - is nuts. The rest of the country originates a lot of crime stories, and I am not just talking about the “Three Restive Provinces.” In Pattaya, you have an English language press which reports all of this, unlike anywhere else in Thailand.
Sorry if I trigger a wave of “I feel safe comments.”
View all comments by Professor
I feel safe.
View all comments by Pants Elk
professor - most of pg’s list was thai on thai and a lot of gang stuff or people doing things they should not.
how is this any different than east LA?
U love to go on and on about this but the stats don’t seem to show that foreigners here - minding their own business and not doing something they should not with people they shouldn’t be doing things with getting in all that much trouble here.
Can something happen here? Sure it can happen anywhere.
Having lived here for over 3 years I feel I am safer here than in the tenderloin district of sf, a bad part of LA or the wrong bar on the right night in say - modesto.
Why is it u love this subject so much?
View all comments by sideshowBOB
sideshow - totally agree that the family mart guy stuff is self inflicted. but i still kind of feel sympathy for anyone down on their luck like that, especially not knowing the full story.
View all comments by Mr Carpet
Sideshow- Very true indeed about the whole feeling of safety here. coming from NorCal and knowing when it’s not a good idea to stick my nose in something i shouldn’t has pretty much kept me free from the headache that is dealing with authorities or angry Thai people with weapons. I also think that Pattayas reputation and the density of foreigners along with the types of trade done there in such high density can be conducive to the bizarre types of things that occur in Pattaya. In BKK you can pretty much avoid areas of ill repute with ease whereas in Pattaya (from the few times i’ve been there) it seemed as if most of the city was touched by the sex, drugs and booze scene. That given with the lack of or rather, the participation of the authorities leads to some freak shit going on. then again i could be wrong.
like i said before in rather poor misspelled English, the only times i’ve ever gotten into scrapes in this country were the times i was in a Pattaya bar. It’s a sex and booze filled place where shit’s gonna go down but if you keep 360 nothing really is going to happen to you.
All in all i feel a hell of a lot safer here than in South Stockton. In three years in Thailand i’ve never had a gun in my face or had to run from gunshots which was a seasonal occurrence back home. All the bad shit that’s happened here has been self inflicted with a little help from the Thai beverage company.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
I feel safe. Anyone else feel safe?
View all comments by Pants Elk
Pants, I feel really safe!
View all comments by Riodon
Originally from the UK, during the past 15 years I have lived and worked in the US(3 years), Caribbean(6 mths), South America(3 years), FSU(3 years), Indonesia(6 mths), Bangkok (6 years). Visited Pattaya a number of times drunk way more than I should have, never had a problem. In my experience Bangkok is far safer then any other place I have lived.
Fully expect to get mugged as I walk down the Soi for a beer in the BM tonight!
View all comments by Riodon
Boy-o-boy! Riodon is one safe-feeling guy, huh? Me, I feel safe, too. Maybe not as safe as Riodon, but pretty safe. Problem is, I get these heads? This blinding, like, pain that comes over my eyes? And the voices. They say things like, get a knife. Stuff like that. So I don’t know if they want to keep me safe or make me dangerous LOL!!! But when this blinding, stabbing kind eye pain is gone, and I look around and see I ain’t done nothin like I did that one time out in the woods, then I feel safe as houses! Yeah. Know what I feel right now? Safe. I got me a knife, a big Bowie with a ten-inch blade? Has a groove in it, the blood runs out. Yeah, I feel safe. It’s the other fuckers got to worry, I guess, I get one of my heads LOL!!!
View all comments by Pants Elk
Sorry for not reading all of the comments before posting this one but I just ‘gotta say it,
[quote]
It was clear that the man had also urinated in his trousers.
[/quote]
Am I the only one that does this then?? I admit to living in Pattaya and being more than a little bit insane but hey, this is a democratic country isn’t it?
Siam Sunshine
PS: Can I now remove the tongue from my cheek (notice that I didn’t say *my* tongue from my cheek).
View all comments by Siam Sunshine
I’ve been back in Las Vegas for two days and I’m scared… I’m scared shitless.
No, it’s not one of the 10,000+ gang members or even the trigger happy Metro police who have me worried; it’s the tourists.
I’m quite sure if I don’t watch my back I’m bound to get trampled by one of these drunken 260+lb Rhodes Scholars as they stampede their way to one of the all you can eat buffets.
If not that, they’ll run me over me as they navigate through the streets, all the while looking 90 degrees to the left or right pointing out every little attraction to Uncle Earl, Aunt Jean, little Tommy and Annie. (Note to Vegas tourists. The sidewalks are very wide and well maintained, free valet parking is available at all the major casino/hotels and thousands of taxis are at your service: that’s your hint to park that P.O.S. until you’re ready to leave the city).
No, I don’t feel safe one bit. I’ll be holed up in my home during buffet dining hours and look into buying a Hummer (the GM vehicle type) as I hear they can be had at quite the reduced price these days.
View all comments by Bubba
bubba - good to hear the crud did not kill u - if u survive it then u become stronger.
ahh buffets - I would get stunned sometimes to see these huge people fill up one plate to the point that it looked liked a food mountain ready to avalanche at the slightest tremor but they would manage to drag their huge bodies and the plate back to their booth without any casualties. Then to watch them eat every frigging morsel and wipe the plate clean was astonishing. Usually I would lose me appetite at this point and go for a build your own ice cream sundae and call it a day.
I am not into those kind of hummers.
any ipod news on the horizon? scared to pull the trigger.
the resort honeys say hi
8-8-8 will go on without u - my apologies.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
ssB: Not sure what flavor of ipod you’re interested in…SMS or e-mail me the details (at 160GB capacity, the ipod classic could hold more porn than a Pantip Plaza bootleg shop). Also, the unlock software for iphone 3g is out, but currently only available for windows OS.
I’m convinced your partner in crime moved the party to 8-8 as payback for insulting him with by my choice of gift hats, but I’m not bitter (and I look forward to a friendly game of mumblety-peg with PE’s Bowie knife when I get back.)
Mmmmmmmm, resort girlzzzzz….
View all comments by Bubba
bub - i hear u
u guys can go head to head with my bartender in silom
http://www.dailymotion.com/durianseed/video/x6dcd5_get-a-knife_sport
http://www.dailymotion.com/durianseed/video/x6dcdf_get-a-knife-2_sport
View all comments by sideshowBOB