There are moments when I have my oh shit - I should get back to the real world and find a job nightmare. Get back into the scene and such. Then I have weeks like this, parties like the grand opening (pics soon) and movie dates with uni girls that are too young and cute for me - I quickly come to my senses realizing I have it pretty good.
Ran into some Americans at the party who asked when was the last time I have been home and when was I moving back. 2 years plus I have not been home. Moving back? Not sure I could and it is not just about the puss. I have not washed clothes in years, or cleaned my own pad and I rarely cook but I still eat plenty of home cooked food. Driving? Don’t see the need. Cold weather? I like being warm. What can I say - I am ruined.
Moving on I came across some links in all my reading that I thought I would share. Random stuff showing how mad the world really is and how lucky I am to be right where I am - of course I will balance it with some of the Thailand nuttiness as well since nowhere is perfect.
Finally someone comes out and says what I have always know. The French are the world’s most hated tourist.
According to a recent international survey, the French are now considered the most obnoxious tourists from European nations, and behind only Indians and the last-place Chinese as the worst among all countries worldwide.
Ouch. I would agree though and they suck as a host country for tourism. Let me explain my first experience in Paris. Had 12 hour layover in the airport on the way to Spain. Decided to get the train to town. Eat some food at some perfect little cafe. Waste some time and get back on the plane. Finished a delightful, although extremely overpriced, meal and paid my bill in Francs. Left a tip to boot. As I was walking away I was pelted in the head with a US quarter while some obnoxious waiter keep yelling in the most horrible English that this is not a franc. Fuck you. Must have left a quarter in my pocket. Paris sucks. I have never been back apart from business trips where I had no choice.
Yahoo, getting blathered from all sides and will eventually be split up and mostly owned by microsuck, seems to just be having the worst luck. Check this article out for how their tool tips for the net created quite a controversy. Ooops. I am sure this went over well in the Cambodian internet cafes.
This video taking the piss out of the new US bluetooth law is so true. Over regulated societies really do suck.
This interview with a porn star is just over the top. I love porn stars - especially ones who tell it like it is. Hat tip to Jack.
My ass makes my cunt jealous and that’s the way I like it. I like spelunking my butt hole more than a seasoned fag at a bathhouse in Turkey.
Let’s get more local now. First off is a new site in Bangkok for teachers and students to locate each other for purposes of tutoring. IMHO, most teachers in the basic English joints are here to get the puss. It’s true. Don’t let any of them, wearing a suit or not, tell you otherwise. So I figure once this site adds pics and profiles it may turn into another online FL market. craig’slist is for selling my couch. Yeah right.
I mentioned before about the taxi fares going up and it has been approved to do so but u gotta love this. It seems there is a problem with actually upgrading the meters. So Thailand.
Lastly more on the internet censorship and how they keep spreading the net wider. Totally insane I say.
Okay. Back to the real world - mine that is.
members clubs suck. no one should go.
Everyone talks about culture shock when you move from the U.S.(substitute your own home country if you like) to where-ever. Bullshit. The real culture shock is when you move back. I had two expat postings as a banker before I was 35. Five years in Argentina and then close to six in Singapore.
The hardest part for me was moving back to the U.S. Most of it’s the service and same-old, same-old but the hardest part is going back to work for someone else.
Build your empire, keep an eye on your cash flows and have fun.
Looking forward to the pics of the opening.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
Move!?! Please….If the Pilgrims had landed in Thailand, the good ole USA would still be a forest!
View all comments by bkkpartyboy
I’m from the Isaan of England and on a visit to London I ate in an tourist trap Italian restaurant in Leicester Square. When the bill came the tip was already factored in and you had to tick a box on the bill to cancel the tip. The service had been crap so I ticked the box and left a nominal amount with the bill.
Just to prove how crap the service was I was outside the restaurant before a waiter even picked up the money but when they did they showed their displeasure by chasing me across Leicester Square screaming what a tight English hole I was. I suspect they were French guys disguised as Italians!!!!
Every survey I’ve ever seen on worst tourists puts Americans up near the top. Have Americans improved or is it just that Ugly Americans have been surpassed by even uglier French, Indians and Chinese? Pot stirrer I think!!!
View all comments by Ed
lovely piss take here on the French…
http://www.notthenation.com/pages/news/getnews.php?id=532
View all comments by MSB
I am cute but I’m not too young
Thanks for a fun moveie. The rides were great too.
Jane
View all comments by NongJane
ab - it is a tough call at time. business is not easy here but the hope is we get better at it. but I will admit life can be pretty good at times. re-entry would be super tough.
ed - i was unaware of the isaan of england. nice one.
msb - super funny.
nj - yes - the rides were good.
View all comments by smitty
In my experience, the Americans are very well behaved and the English are the worst.
View all comments by Kilgore Trout
‘……paid my bill in Francs.’
The Franc has been dead over 6 years now, wouldn’t you say that this story is a bit dated?? It is always fun to take a piss on the French, but when it comes to the nitty gritty, any Frenchman has more culture in his/her little toe than any American. So what ‘culture shock’ are we talking about?
I can totally understand why it would be hard for a person to go back west after spending years & years in Thailand, but just to piss on the West for being the West is a bit too shallow for me! And this ain’t about the puss!
Greetz from Amsterdam
View all comments by Paraquat
Ugh. Have we really sunk to this?
“People from Country-Where-I’m-Not-From suck!”
“People from Country-Where-I’m-From rule!”
Every nation has its idiots and asshats. As for the survey, it depends what kind of spin you want to put on it…
From the Baltimore Sun, for example, which is an American site before I’m accused of bias:
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/travel/whatsthedeal/2008/06/youre_loud_you_talk_too.html
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@BBB - Although American, I actually agree with teh Sun’s assessment.
@Smitty — Busted??? How many of your dates read and commented on what you wrote about them online?
And here’s another bit of madness I had put into one of my own pieces this week: Seems the Dutch have enacted a nationwide smoking ban as well.
But what about the “coffee houses” you ask? No problem. You can still smoke the Mary Jane, but you can’t smoke tabacco in them.
Huh?
View all comments by The Ghost
I agree with BBB. Let’s just say there are good people and bad people in every country…with the exception being Liverpool of course where they’re just animals. (this coming from a ManU fan from New York, grain of salt please).
Pics coming tonight folks. Was a blast. Thanks to everyone for coming out and sorry for the delay. Still recovering from the before, during, and after party, and the Daywalker 54 hour tornado visit.
ALOL (actually laughing out loud) at the NongJane comment. Worlds are colliding. Too funny. One of the dangers of dating Uni gals I guess but so worth the risk.
View all comments by pmmp
kt - was not really what I was getting at. just pointing to a fairly mainstream article on the topic. I am an american proud to not be living in america
p - get over yourself. thanks
bbb - i thought it was funny. was not getting into a country bashing thing.
g - yeah. something going on. he he . the smoking thing is wacked.
p - be nice to nongjane.
View all comments by smitty
“Finally someone comes out and says what I have always know. The French are the world’s most hated tourist.”
Sounds to me like more than “just pointing to a fairly mainstream article on the topic.”
View all comments by Suk Psycho
Articles of a similar nature I’ve read in the past always seem to cite Israelies as being the most rude - the article you mentioned was just hoteliers from Europe so maybe they have a different slant - I guess it’s all just lies, damned lies and statistics.
Doc-(from-a-country-where-excellent-behaviour-and-boorish-behaviour-go-hand-in-hand)-Bond
View all comments by doctorbond
The only Israeli Ive ever encountered was a slimy prick at my Thai school. Long unkempt hair, una-brow, weightlifting trousers (he was 150lbs soaking wet) and all he did was ask inappropriate and slimy questions and brag about the whores hes been with in thai and smirk a paedophile-esque smirk. I used to spend my whole lessons dreaming of kicking his fucking teeth in. - I feel better for getting that off my chest
I asked if i could brown-dick my teacher on her desk and punch her in the kidneys, but i did it in a happy chappy cockney kind of way
BTW uni girls rule - although some are crazy boring to talk too. None of them watch football, UFC, snuff movies and Lb porn. Talk about dull
View all comments by Young Penfold
Great summation of the Thai-life Smitty. Never having to wash your clothes, go short of quim, clean your own crib or cook your own homecooked food - that’s Thailand. Meanwhile its raining hard in the UK, and it costs about £50 for three bags of shopping…
View all comments by milo
From the moment I hit BKK to the time I left… no sleep…
Now back in the UK after my weekend blow-out. Never before has it been so hard to leave. Nothing to do with pmmp pointing out all the girls which came flooding through the door as I was getting ready to leave.
Many thanks to Nid for not letting me postpone my flight for a second time that day.
Right… I’m gonna sleep now.
View all comments by day walker
WELL ,BECAUSE OF OWNING A SHOP ON SAMUI,I SEE TOURISTS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.THE AMERICANS HAVE BEEN GOOD-YES A LITTLE LOUDER THAN OTHERS BUT GOOD SPENDERS,THE CANDIANS ARE GREAT,THE AUATRALIANS TOO,THE JAPANEESE VERY POLITE,THE ITALIANS NOISY BUT FUN,THE GERMANS TIGHT WITH THEIR MONEY,THE RUSSIANS INCOMPREHENSIBLE,THE FRENCH RUDE AND THE ISRALEAS-HERE AFTER SERVING THEIR TIME IN THE ARMY TERRIBLE-I THINK EVERY GIRL HERE DREADS THEM THEY ARE LOUD,ARROGANT AND STUPID,AND SHOW NO RESPECT FOR ANYONE(THAT MIGHT CHANGE FOR TWO OF THEM WHO REFUSED TO MOOVE OVER ON THEIR RENT A BIKES AFTER THEY GOT A LITTLE NUDGE FROM A BULL BAR AND ENDED UP IN THE DITCH…
OH AND LUCKY WE DONT GET CHINEESE HERE BUT THEY ARE SLOBS.
View all comments by zepplin
Gosh, my eyes are ringing after that third one.
View all comments by The Heckler
Every1 id like to introduce you to Zeppelin ‘the friendly racist’
View all comments by Young Penfold
Having worked behind a bar in a place that got a lot of international clientèle and traveled at least a bit, here are a few more obscure trends I’ve seen.
Most fun to travel with = Dutch
Worst tippers overseas = Brits (never been to England, they might tip that bad at home too)
Most likely to be in town for some absurdly obscure musician like Bill Laswell or John Zorn = Czechs
Loudest = Italians (yes, louder than Americans)
Most fun to get smashed with even though you can’t understand a single damn word they are saying = Hungarians
Easiest girls to take home while they are traveling = New Zealand
One could have reasonably guessed I was gunning for a Kiwi passport there for a few years.
View all comments by tosh
Top banana !! I really enjoyed this post
…..and in no particular order
PMMP – “Liverpool” you are so right, no salt required, although this is coming from a ManU fan from Manchester (yes I am the one, although I’m not there at the moment it must be said)
NongJane – I’m still laughing
Tosh – “Most fun to travel with” and “easiest girls”, bang on the money
Ed - the Isaan of England, why-I-man (or am I off track)
I’ve worked in dive resorts, what is it with the Israelis?
View all comments by Spyker
Does anyone have any pictures of NongJane?
View all comments by arttv
Paraquat- nope can’t agree Fremchmen have more culture in their “little toe” maybe if you include their obvious “substantial nose” along with their legendary “tiny penis” they may come close. If only Frenchmen had “balls” that might put your statement over the top. But, alas. the world knows that the French have “no balls” so why not SURENDER your theory like Frenchmen have done throughout history
View all comments by midland
Wow.
Tell us how u really feel?
Is this bash everyone but me week?
Remember, that’s how we got Lancelot Link in that big white house near the Potomac.
View all comments by jack dawson
Couple of jokes for ya……coming from a Brit.
How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris?
Don’t know.
Nor do I it’s never been tried.
Did you know that French Tanks have 4 gears?
1 Forward and 3 Reverse.
I have actually got a taxi to the airport, pulled up outside, walked up to the checkin. Changed my mind, Turned around and got a taxi back to my pad. Life great when you only work half a year!
Ed - How can the Issan of England be in Newcastle a huge City?
Got be some place like Yorkshire, Devon, etc. Was gonna say Cornwall but that’s not part of England really Lol. FREE KERNOW!
View all comments by Young Royal
Midland, please don’t get me wrong……as a Dutchman I also make fun of the French, Germans, Belgians, Brits, Yanks…..heck, we think we’re entitled to make fun of everyone! Why? Because we’re also very good in making fun of ourselves! And I believe it’s just that: as long as you don’t take the subject of the matter (or the matter of the subject?) all too seriously, you’ll get along with almost everyone (well, maybe not the Israeli’s…).
About the French, the Parisians are wellknown c*nts but I can attest that I’ve had great times in the beautiful French countryside and have encountered lovely people there….. And that’s my experience, you get treated by people the way you treat them, and let’s be honest: who wants to go to Israel anyway?
PS: Smitty, am I getting over myself?
Cheers from Amsterdam!
View all comments by Paraquat
Spyker and Young Royal - The north east of England suffered badly during the Thatcher years so when I used ‘Isaan of England’ I meant the north east both geographically and economically. It’s doing okay now so the statement is not as accurate as it once was.
Time Magazine seems to have followed my lead,(yeah, in my dreams):
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1820358,00.html?xid=feed-yahoo-full-world
View all comments by Ed
Young Royal….
You actually went to the trouble of going to the Airport before changing your mind?!
I prefer the route of looking at my ticket and realizing I missed the flight by 2 days already.
Or going ‘on-line’ in the Nana disco on my iPhone and booking another flight.
Yes… it is good working only 6 months per year!
View all comments by day walker
Re tourists: I am not crazy about Russians either. And lately there seem to be so MANY of them. Saw them in SG, HK, Bali, BKK, Phuket and I just read about how they’re just about taking over the Caribbean too now. At Hard Rock Hotel in Bali there was a large group of Russian gentlemen and girls. The bling-bling they were displaying was tolerable, but their dancing the tango to a Metallica cover and pushing everyone in their range was less so. Ok off my rant; just in case I get accused of some nationalism or another, some of my ancestors were Russian and I have relatives and even visited there. Still don’t like ‘em.
View all comments by julian
j - i know what u mean.
I would also like to add I am part french so I can take the piss out of them if I want. deal.
zep - buddy. take the caps lock off please. thx
View all comments by smitty
You won’t see them taking over St.Barths as they can’t get visas.
Daywalker good tips. I can see it now….Sitting in R4 with about a window of 30 mins to get the hell to the airport…..do I get the taxi or paybar and press a few keys on my phone.
View all comments by Young Royal
@YR: turks and caicos. And actually there was some kind of real estate development deal that allowed some former Evil Empire citizens to get residency without the usual visa process.
View all comments by julian
So they can go to Turks and Caicos. Sorry confused I was talking about St. Barths.
View all comments by Young Royal