I am big fan of trash TV. I think it showcases the side of America that the rest of the world should examine more just to realize that America is not just New York, Hollywood and Silicon Valley. It is mostly malls, trailer parks, suburbia, walmart, fast food and well - trash. I used to think otherwise myself until I was forced to drive from Waterloo, Ontario to Salt Lake City, Utah. Why you ask? I was stuck in Waterloo having a meeting with RIM when September 11 took place. Planes were grounded and I rushed back over the border in my rent a car hoping to catch the private plane my company had rented to get people from the east coast back to the west coast. I missed the plane.
So I decided to have a white trash tour of america. I stopped only at walmarts, they have some huge ones out there, to eat, buy whitetrash cds(they had plenty) and pick up some clothes as needed. I used the trunk for the trash can just to see how much I could collect. It was rancid but I could not smell it in the car. It took about 5 days of driving so I ended up with some bad tshirts, cds I did not keep and some really awful food. Welcome to America.
People who know me may actually think with my hair and the way I dress that I could be mistaken for White Trash but it takes something more to be proper white trash. A certain sense of desperation. A longing to fit in but not really knowing how so in turn it just means you don’t fit in at all and everyone knows it. Back when I lived in sactown, Sacramento (a leading center of white trash) - we used to have our annual white trash weekend. A bunch of geeks and sales guys from a company I worked for would head to the river for a few nights trying emulate white trash.
We would borrow white trash cars. Typically Broncos, old suburbans or worn out muscle cars. Yes folks - only American cars can be white trash. We would borrow dogs. Drink cheap beer. Listen to the scorps, whitesnake, dio, quiet riot and so on. The beauty of the long tail of the internet means even u can have your own white trash party just by downloading the right music.
American TV still celebrates modern forms of white trash through TV shows like Cops, bounty hunter, and so on. I for one think COPS is one of the best things on TV. Hands down. Watching some low like White Trash hero get pulled over in the midst of smoking a joint, beating his white trash trophy gf, throwing his can of blue ribbon out the door and speeding all at the same time never gets boring. I love when they are pulled over and they start the conversation like this - “Jesus ocifer - is my tail light out?”. I feel bad for these cops. It must be too easy. No challenge at all.
One of the trends to kick of the era of white trash TV was Fox with When Animals Attack.
Where am I going with all this? Well - I reckon that if Thailand had some form of White Trash their favorite place to hangout in Bangkok would be Suthisan. Yes - that is my opinion of the place. You can read what BBK has to say about it - I did. It made me want to go check out the place. I won’t say whether the place is good or bad because it is all about taste really but I do have some comments on the area. Being steeped in white trash experience myself I feel I have the right to comment.
- avoid all door men. most of them do not work for the places but are trying to get tips anyway they can. If you connect with them they will want tips on the way out and will try to coerce you into their friend’s taxis on so on. You don’t need doormen in Thailand so no reason to engage them here.
- No Thai guys with money or a sense of self respect are going to be there. They are in the member clubs, karaoke bars and so on. So I don’t think these are Thai guys you want to connect with unless they come across as very friendly and interested in meeting with u. If you were to walk into a white trash bar in Modesto and did not fit the part you would not feel comfortable. No one is going to kick your ass but they are not going to make you feel welcome. This is how this area will work as well.
- There are some good looking girls. Not a ton but a few. Problem is the 2 good bars don’t have short time on site. You have to do the walk of shame to a short time hotel. Some of the girls do not want to be seen with you because their bread and butter is Thai guys. The Thai guys don’t want to see their girls going off with a Farang. In For u bar I was talking with a hottie. She was aloof. The papasan came over to explain that she did not want to be seen with a Farang for fear of alienating her Thai base. So he brings over a Farang friendly girl. Not as hot and with an attitude. Precisely what I don’t want. U see this behavior sometimes at the member clubs as well.
- These places are not that fun. Music sucks. Lighting sucks. No nice place to sit to look at the girls. Not a party atmoshpere. More of a banging shop type of place. Yes - it is cheap but u get what u pay for. Isn’t that always the case? Short time hotels are only 250 baht and no one seems to check the time. Condoms come by the box so u can see the Sukhumvit difference.
- Music VDO Club is probably the only one worth checking out. After 12pm the place gets dirty. It is kind of like the difference between a nice strip bar with nice girls and dirty strip bar with dirty girls. The girls start doing the so called lesbian shows. No lesbian really but they get naked together. Pretend to lick and touch each other and then they head out to give lap dances with a lot of touching and grinding. You tip them for each lap dance. Pretty dirty. Like a non tame version of this.
- Don’t go to Suthisan alone. I did but I know my way around but it probably was not the smartest thing to do. It is not the bars you have to worry about but the rest of it. The street action, the door touts and so on. Think of it like a trailer park. Maybe inside your buddies trailer listing to the best of Whitesnake and playing Intellivision is cool. Bu you won’t feel safe having to cross the trailer park to get to your chevy nova without the hood.
Should you visit Suthisan? Why not. I always enjoyed our White Trash Weekends.
Groovemonkey knows white trash. Seems though he has never been to Thailand.
Good time to holiday in Vietnam me thinks. They are going to stop trying to keep the Dong strong. Look for 17,000 dong to the dollar real soon.
Don’t forget the Grand Opening.
Also the kitchen is now open with a limited menu. From about 11:30am to midnight. Expanded menu, more hours and breakfast is in the works. Can u say - Mango McMuffin? I can.
great post, but the ending was what got my attention. mango mcmuffin! you mean with a real english muffin, not a hamburger bun, right? canadian bacon too? can i get hash browns with that?
View all comments by go go groupie
I’m also keeping the dong strong.
McMuffin? I love you guys.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
I was thinking of suggesting the McMuffin - glad to see you are one step ahead of the game
View all comments by doctorbond
the area from Sacto to Fresno is littered with pockets of white trash. Try being the only Mexican guy in a white trash bar in Lodi. that place is white trash and racist to boot. I had a black friend that learned the hard way when he went into a Lodi bar shouting “WHERE ALL DA WHITE WOMEN AT!”. needless to say he had to fight his way out and i pretended i didn’t know English and worked as the clubs dishwasher. From then on i stayed in South Stockton where i belonged until i was tired of gunshots and pit bulls running down the street.
Sutthisan is okay, you don’t have to take a walk to the short time hotel across from Inter. you can just take a short cab right to pradiphat road and hit a better one with a bathtub and some decent hardcore porno channels. Or you can go to the short time hotel near the gay soi on pradiphat. Those door guys are annoying but rather small and harmless.
When you guys start cooking huevos rancheros for breakfast I’ll be there waiting in the mornings for you guys to open.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
From the way u describe it I guess I won’t be rushing to Suthisan. Although there is a good Yamaha bike dealership at that stop.
But thanks for the inteliigence.
BTW, it might be a bad sign of what’s to come if a girl begins by not wanting to be seen with you. Just my 2 cents.
View all comments by jack dawson
I mentioned the mcmuffin to get some feedback on it.
I need to find all the right stuff so far the bread is trouble. the idea would be a toasted english muffim, fried egg, I guess canadian bacon, cheese and that’s it. no options. hash browns seem doable.
damn. I can taste it now.
bbb - sick
wetback - u so know what I am talking about. peace bro. Maybe once we get breakfast going u can come in and shows how to make it? love u man. anyone who can use the words lodi, pit bull, white women and south stockton in a paragraph is okay by me.
jd - yeah. she accepted the drink but hinted at the broader issues. I moved on - abandoning my HB that I don’t like anyway.
View all comments by smitty
speaking of american junk food, i just walked by our cafeteria and saw a box of krispy kreme doughnuts! nobody seems to know where it came from. anybody know if these delicacies can be found in bangkok now?!?
View all comments by go go groupie
gg - someone flew them in? I think australia has them now? does japan?
View all comments by smitty
yeah they have them in japan and hong kong and i think indonesia as well. i thought they were flown in too but they were still a little warm (unless someone reheated them). nothing on their website (or anywhere else for that matter) talking about a thai branch.
View all comments by go go groupie
Yea Ive seen KK donuts in Melbourne,, yet more Anerican crap food coming here
View all comments by Adz
Fellas, I’d wager you’ll find your KK donuts in a Tesco Lotus. Never thought I’d exchange tips on confectionary on this site!!
View all comments by bangkokairways
Not sure why but you kind of gave me the feeling I should go and try this place.
Fun to F…
I like girls with an attitude
Thanks to you, I’ll ask for the ST before buying the drink and maybe will offer that we meet at the ST hotel. Did you try that?
Need to find a buddy though. I am no Indiana Jones.
View all comments by Suk Psycho
In New England we call ‘em ’swamp Yankees.’ And believe me, there are plenty. One of the few joys of going to a house part at some rich guy’s place on the Connecticut shoreline is finding them. In the _really_ ritzy towns (Greenwich, Darien) they’ve been chased out, but other than those I can always find one. Each string of $2+ million houses will have one lonely swamp yankee. Usually five generations back someone in his family bought or stole the land everyone else’s house is on now, and he’s the last holdout. They’re easy to pick out, trailer hitched to nothing on the curb, car with the hood up in the driveway. I always go out of my way to talk to the disaffected teenager and give advice on properly blowing up mailboxes and egging BMWs.
Here I go again, on my own/Going down the only road I’ve ever known/Like a drifter . . .
View all comments by tosh
Of all the junk American shows we import to Oz, Cops is hands down the bestest entertainment, closely followed by the amazing race.
View all comments by Tark
I’d rather have a krispy kreme than bite down on a vegemite sandwich. Shit, i’d rather lick a 50 year old ladyboy’s asscrack than have to take a bite of vegemite.
Cops is classic! what better way to catch up with family members than to see them run from the cops on national television. After that they are easy to find if you know your way through the correctional system.
Still holding out for the nick at night channel. Lighting candles hoping that “what’s happening?” will air in thailand before i get deported.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
You had me fooled I never suspected that you were an “elitest”
At least unlike other “elitest” who are unhappy and embarrased by America you actually did leave rather than threatening to do so.
While much of what you said has some degree of accuracy am
disappointed that as an American you (as a somewhat public figure in the ex-pat community) chose to bash your country while in another country to an audience of many non-Americans. This is disgraceful.
View all comments by midland
Huevos rancheros? Goddamn, Sir Wetback, that’s one hell of an idea.
Come on, Smitty. You can do it, man. Show us some love….
View all comments by Old Asia Hand
Nice read, thanks!
View all comments by R9
Now THAT was funny!
View all comments by sip
Now THAT was funny! Not!
View all comments by Bud
Vegimite is for girls………..Marmite the good stuff!
View all comments by Young Royal
Breakfast,lunch,dinner and latenight howling, when do you guys sleep? “Family Guy” leads the way IMHO. For me the White Trash mecca still lies in the land of Dixie. There ain’t nuttin like hearing “Sweet home alabama” and some slim jims that make me feel safe and scared at the same time. “Squeal like a pig”
View all comments by burgerman
Tosh - Ill give you 100baht to post without some indirect hint that you have got money. Tiring to say the least
Will the mango be serving protein shakes in the new kitchen?
View all comments by Young Penfold
bangkokairlinemonoply - I have been to plenty of tesco and never seen a KK. are u saying this cause you know or u r guessing? this is serious shit so don’t fuck around.
tosh - wanked to hat video many times. nice.
howwetisyourback - vegemite and marmite won’t be allowed in the bar. kind of like 5 star hotels banning durian.
cops rules. when u are coming to cook the huevos?
midland - yeah. I feel bad. Let me watch some reruns of just about anything george bush says and I will feel better about my decisions. jesus…
oah - I just need some lessons baby.
bud - with a name like bud what do u want me to say? That was fucking hilarious.
burger - squeal like a pig. damn. that’s sick shit. I don’t know but I used to think Rancho Cordova was the heart of white trash but I am sure someone from lodi would argue with me. The only way to solve this is to watch every episode of cops ever made and count the cities mentioned. then do a point system giving extra points when the people pulled over while driving are not wearing a shirt. FOr sure some city in california would win. btw - who needs sleep?
yp - yes. the vegemite/marmite mango shake.
View all comments by smitty
I would pay top baht in any gogo that enacts the ‘Tawny Kitaen spread-eagles on the muscle car’s hood’ scene from several Whitesnake videos.
View all comments by Julian
I’ve generally considered that the pinnacle of white trash must be somewhere in the deep south, but then again I suppose the ‘flotsam and jetsom’ of white trash tend to wash up on California’s shores.
Being a Thailand blog, I thought we should include ‘Yellow Trash’ in this thread, of which there is plenty in Asia. As I wrote to some overseas friends a while back: ‘I think my affinity for upcountry people (Chao Baan or Khon Baan Nawk) is that they are my Asian counterparts: Yellow trash, hillbilly rednecks that like to drink and have fun’
View all comments by Upcountry Man
I’ll be down there to cook some home style Mexican as soon as my abuelita dies and I inherit her recipe book. I can however, Serve up a kick ass pork machaca breakfast burrito. I usually send off girls with one so they can replenish their nutrients since the protein they were served the night before is hardly enough.
as far as the white trash areas go in california, i think the marysville yuba city area is a hotbed for white trash activity. but then again, Tracy i think still has a chapter of the KKK active. And while Lodi is being overrun with South Asians and Mi Gente, i think Ol’Bubba and the rest of the Peckerwoods still hold sway over what happens in that shithole.
Whats so bad about bashing white trash anyways midland and how does that equate to bashing America as a whole? Don’t be so sensitive, it’s all in good fun (and it’s true).
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
I’ve learned a lot watching Cops:
For example, if it’s 3am and you are really drunk and watching TV in your underwear,
And some blurs come in - you know, guys with their faces all blurred out -
That’s trouble for sure.
View all comments by callisto
j - so true.
up - possibly. tough to say really. being prone to white trash myself I was only willing to comment on where I came from. seems safer. same goes for the yellow trash. I don’t point fingers but willing to comment about looking in the mirror.
mydadsbackiswetterthanyours - man u know your white trash. I love it. Let me know when we can hook at the mango sometime. clearly you could share some recipes or something?
my guess is midland was joking but yeah I was not america bashing but just pointing out its finer traits to those u may not know.
carry on
View all comments by smitty
Smitty- i prefer brown trash, or as i’ve been called in Virginia and certain parts of texas “one a dem hispanolics”. beaner is good too although there are no pinto beans in Thailand i think that would still be an applicable slur to call me. I was called poncho once but that was by a drunk Japanese friend and i think he was speaking Japanese and i had my alcoholic ears on at that time.
I’ll be sure to make it there once i get my sombrero from the cleaners. have you ever been on the delta during the summer?? it’s full of white drunk trash in boats. by far the deadliest experience I’ve ever had. All the poor Mexicans swimming on the banks damned near drowning in the wake of a boat names the general lee. memory still gives me the chills.
View all comments by UnCochinoWetback
I seriously doubt California white trash can hang with Baltimore…..I loved living in Bkk because of all the crazy shit I would randomly see on a daily basis…..now I am amazed by the crazy shit I see on a daily basis in my own neighborhood here…it’s mainly tatooed retards passing crack, 16 year old moms pushing strollers around yelling the F bomb, daily street fights..and so on. and this is the nicer section of the city. I preferred the daily dead body from a street fatality in Bkk.
View all comments by RonBaltimore
@ YP - um, that one was about other people that have money. And me trying to get their beamers egged. Deep down I’m a molotov cocktail throwing anarchist, I just work in the money business so I’m around it a lot.
@ Smitty - http://www.geocities.com/tawnykitaen2/ rub one out for old time’s sake! She was a hottie back in the day.
View all comments by tosh
@ RonBaltimore - Baltimore is a _tough_ town. I once wound up in jail in NYC on some cooked up ‘I was drunk and fighting’ charge and a few of the guys in my cell were from Baltimore. All of the other NYC hard guys showed them serious respect. Must be serious there.
View all comments by tosh
I just re-read this and think you have it the wrong way around.
I think the rest of the world should examine, New York, Hollywood and Silicon Valley more to show us that America is not just White Trash!
View all comments by Young Royal
I would have to say the only exposure I have had so far to ‘yellow’ trash would be in Hippo Bar in East Tsim Sha Sui in HK. I happened to wander in there one night and it was full of chain smoking, burping, spitting, peeps playing dice and guzzling whisky from buckets decked with ice bags. It’s just a couple side streets off of Nathan Rd yet it’s an entirely different world altogether.
Also, Stadium disco in Jakarta would have to be an absolute low for me, the amount of depravity was just unbelievable. Low class kampung meat, severely underage girls two kids away from their firstborn on sale for $50 or less, with a couple blue pills thrown in the deal by their gay midget pimps. Not sure if that qualifies as yellow trash but it was just awful.
View all comments by Julian