What, really, does the Bangkok “naughty nightlife” scene all come down to? Well, sex. Sure, there’s sex. And lots of it.
But after a while, it all gets a little “same same”, as the locals would put it.
Maybe I’m jaded. Maybe I’m perverted. Actually, scratch the “maybe”. But while fantastically great sex can be had with the “entertainment providers” of Bangkok, it all too often isn’t.
Everyone’s had a “starfish” experience. Sometimes the girls just can’t be bothered. But that’s only a small part of the issue - there’s rather more to it for me.
“My mother said it was simple to keep a man; you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.” –Jerry Hall
That’s not a hard combination to find here, there are tens of thousands of whores in this great city, and most of them are far better at cooking and cleaning than I am.
But there are levels of whoredom…
Maybe it’s just me. I’m rather apprehensively looking forward to the comments on this one. But after more than two years of extensive field research, I’ve come to the unpleasant conclusion that the attractiveness of a Bangkok “entertainment provider” is inversely proportional to the levels of filth to which she is prepared to descend.
Which probably shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone. The girls aren’t in it for the love of shagging aging, “cuddly” farangs, lest we forget…
Ready… Steady… Stop
As a crude example with which to illustrate this premise, we’ll take the humble blow-job. The correct way for a young lady to enjoy this tasty treat is to cram as much of the Staff of Justice down her maw as is phyiscally possible, and make choking or gurgling noises until I unleash the penis paste and paint her gullet green (what do you mean, it’s not supposed to be green?)
The Bangkok version, however, all too often consists of the young lady gently suckling on the tip, much as a hamster drinks from its water bottle, before flinching, scarpering, and taking cover behind the wardrobe as I approach the vinegar strokes - woe betide she get any jizz in her mouth. That’s the girl, not the hamster.
This is akin to ordering a pint of glorious Hoegaarden, observing its frosty pale goodness, and then pouring it into a passing dog’s ear, wistfully imagining how nice it might have tasted.
There are bargirls out there who give awesome head, but they’re few and far between - if you want a guaranteed decent slurping, you need to hit a dedicated BJ bar. Which are often closed when I most want to visit.
Red Rope
For a better, and perhaps more eloquent idea of what I’m talking about, take a look at this account of a visit to Shanghai’s Red Rope Lounge on the Mango Blog:
Then, I’m not gonna diagram it, but you will have to imagine how a naked Chinese princess can hang suspended from the ceiling by nothing but a 20-centimeter red sash and blow you. There are two basic positions and both knots and balance are critical. It’s the most acrobatic sex I’ve ever had. The sight in the side-mirror is unforgettable. This is a service, don’t try this at home! (Doctor Flan, another pal who used to travel to Shanghai, says his friends used to refer to this practice as “Suck de Soleil” due to its circus-like nature).
The whole experience sounds awesome - do please read the piece all the way through - but there’s nothing like it in Bangkok - at least, not to my knowledge.
The Eden Club does well by providing outfits and toys to the discerning customer, plus a guaranteed true three-way threesome - most of the ones you’ll organise yourself will disappoint as the girls take turns without even touching each other, or waiting in the bathroom for their turn on the tig.
But is this lack of groundbreaking sex establishments due to the absence of erotic entrepeneurs, or simply because Thai girls probably wouldn’t be interested in providing more, uh, advanced services?
I’ve slept with probably more than my fair share of Thai girls since coming out here, and I’ve only met one girl who was even interested in using toys during sex. One girl who admitted to owning a vibrator. Perhaps they didn’t want to tell me, but it does seem like Thai girls aren’t actually that interested in pushing back the boundaries. Or at least, not with me. Speaking of which…
Crack the Whip
Okay, we do have a number of S&M venues, which I suppose count as “alternative”. Barbar on Patpong 2 springs to mind. It’s honestly not my kink, but I visited the place about a year and a half ago to conduct a review:
I got chatting to one of the girls over my one and only drink - it’s worth noting that she spoke very little English. If you’re staying here for any length of time, a few Thai lessons go a long way. After watching her get spanked with a paddle, then drizzled with hot candle wax, I asked her whether she enjoyed her work?
She looked at me as if I was an idiot, and told me that of course she didn’t enjoy it - it hurts!
So even if you’re into it - they’re probably not.
A Worrying Conclusion
So what have we got? Well, thousands of girls, some stunningly beautiful, who’ll gladly sleep with you for a very reasonable price. Most of them will at least have a go at giving you a blowjob too. That’s about it though. Woe betide the newbie who questions the Rainbow 4 Paddy Princess as to whether she takes it up the bum (I saw this asked once. It wasn’t pretty).
Sure, you can probably find a slutty streetwalker who’ll let you do anything for 500 baht. Thing is, you probably wouldn’t want to. Not with her.
The soapies aren’t much better - at Poseidon last year, I was required to don a rubber johnny just to get sucked off. This is the exception rather than the rule, but is it indicative of a fear of disease, or simply an unwillingness to gargle the gunk?
Then we have the, er, specialist service providers. Lolita’s or the Star of Light for a decent blowjob. 700 baht a go, which is pretty reasonable, but it would be nice if they delivered - or at least stayed open later than the gogos.
We do have the Eden Club - the “honourable mention” of the piece. They do try, they really do. Girls come equipped with a handy bag containing scores of condoms, lube, strap-ons and even school uniforms if you ask. The infamous yellow line even guarantees bum love from those on the left, should it be so required. But yes, as someone will undoubtably point out, the lowlights of the lineup are only there because presumably nobody else will hire them. Some of the girls are downright scary.
The Tulip massage parlour doesn’t compete on the accessories front, but the girls, in my experience at least, are uniformly up for inserting pretty much any body part anywhere it’ll fit. Which is nice, and earns them a gold star.
But compare the above with the Red Rope Lounge, or even the dirty white chick I slept with last time I was in the UK (you don’t want to know), and the difference in terms of advanced options is positively humbling.
Bangkok’s great for a bunk-up, sure - as long as you’re experienced in the art of not picking a dud. But if you’ve got anything more advanced or exciting on your mind - even the “fire and ice” trick from the Red Rope Lounge, there doesn’t seem to be anywhere in Bangkok that actually provides it.
Incredibly, when you really look closely, Bangkok’s commercial sex scene isn’t all that good. And remarkably, Bangkok’s ladies of negotiable affection are often not actually that good at it either. Or else they choose not to be particularly enthusiastic. Yet we flock here by the tens of thousands. Remarkable.
nb. This article was originally published at Werewolf’s Lair.
Speaking as a true born englishman who likes to dress up as Dick Cheney complete with hunting rifle and have his calves rubbed with lard while plate spinning Royal Doulton grapefruit bowls I’d have to agree with you - a shocking lack of provision…
View all comments by doctorbond
Did doctorbond attend a public school, by any chance?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
BBB,
I understand what you are saying but there are many “roses” amongst the thorns. During my research I have met women who are absolutely sex mad and have woken me up in the morning (after already being paid) for round 4 (or possibly 2 !!) Now that may be because I am like Hugh Hefner’s long lost son (I am only 27 !!) but my thoughts are that it’s because they like a good hard shag as much as me and you. My tactic is 99% of the time to go for an 8/10 girl who has a really bubbly personality. This probably means she doesn’t get laid every night and is generally happy that you have made the effort to bar fine her. Then tell her is she blows your mind with the best shag ever then you’ll drop her 500 baht more than the price you agreed. Gives them a reason to get stuck into you with a bit of vigour !!
Now we’ve all had women who simply don’t want to know but at least with these tactics you get the majority who think of that 500 baht extra and go down with all guns blazing ……. quite literally !!
I’ll carry on my research with a big smile on my face ……..
View all comments by Mobster
BBB
I’ve had some good grindin’,but the hamster analogy fits well. Accept I will never get rimmed like in the West. I feel Western women have been exposed to more with the internet and porn,makes them a little more up to it. I’m not talking about the naughty boys corner ladies,but the average server and such just don’t seem knowledgable and relaxed to just “git down”.
View all comments by trinidad john
Or just stick to the crazy ones….as opined in your last missive. For all the pain, they really do enjoy a good root.
There are two reasons why the fellas flock to the substandard quality of bangkok. 1) it’s cheap, and 2) the girls will. As opposed to, say, Korea or Japan where 1) the girls won’t if you’re a white fella, and 2) they may, but it will cost the earth.
Thre are lots of knock-shops in Tokyo, for example. But almost all of them expressly forbid white meat. That said, there’s a much better chance of bagging a “good girl” in Japan than there is in Bangkok. it’s one of those oddities about Japan…the bad girls won’t but the good girls will. Go figure?? In China, the opposite is true. They baddies know the value of a buck alright, but the goodies think we’re hairy monsters and smell bad.
I still can’t figure out whether Thai chicks actually like us or loath us. Who the fuck knows??
View all comments by swampthing
FX: Inane Confederate whoops. I think you may be experiencing what we doctors term TMOAGTS. Too Much Of A Good Thing syndrome. As a physician, I recommend a weekend in Scunthorpe, or a tour of Geneva’s Old Town, or a visit to one of Finland’s fishery industry facilities, or two minutes with my ex-wife (can be spent on the phone), to put your life into perspective. Sooner or later, you’ll fall in love, possibly with a granny-bag farang on a fact-finding mission. Or with a swivel-eyed scag monkey who jumped on your back from the Skytrain steps. Or that roly-poly toothless crone who does the laundry. Or Jerry Hall. Who knows what fate has in store for Bangkok Bad Boy? Not me. In the meantime, carry on sampling the cock candy.
View all comments by Pants Elk
I think everyone finds their own way to deal with what Bangkok has to offer. Smitty’s eternal quest for the perfect threesome springs to mind. The dedication of some to soapies, others to freelancers, and still others to go gos also bears witness to the variety of strategies. There are undoubtedly dozens of other approaches.
I think BBB is right about the fact that most of the Isaan farmer’s daughters who end up as ‘entertainment providers’ are relatively unskilled, which is why I adopt the rotation approach (which I’ve discussed ad nauseum in the past). When I find a girl who does things the way I really enjoy, I get her number and see her regularly.
I probably sample two or three new girls a month — enough to keep things entertaining and keep me interested in the hunt, but most of my actual sex comes from four or five girls who rotate through the bedroom on a regular basis; a strategy which, if not impossible back in farangland, is at least difficult to organize.
BTW, my ‘Thursday night girl’ was an oral wondergirl in addition to being quite attractive.
On my side, I’m not all that creative, atheltic or energetic so even the mediocre girls are satisfying for me. Also, I enjoy giving oral sex, so for girls who enjoy that sort of thing, being in the rotation has its advantages. I have been surprised to find that there are a large number of TGs who actually don’t like having their pussy eaten.
Four days to Chiang Mai… I can hardly wait. Masturbation has become the key to my survival.
View all comments by Werewolf
WW: Don’t hurt yourself! Was it Oscar Wilde who said, “self abuse is the highest form of flattery.”
I’ve got an idea that borders on monger heresy. Find a nice Thai girl, treat her right, and enjoy all that comes with it. They are trainable you know. One other thing, you won’t find her in a go-go bar, that’s for sure.
I added one to my starfish collection last week…it was disappointing because she gave me such a great massage before shutting her eyes and lying back with that “please take me now” anguished look. It completely killed the mood for me and I shut it down. It was too bad because I liked her from the time before (with no FS).
Finding good sex in Bangkok is just like everywhere. It’s a crap shoot…but a lot cheaper!
ps: lots of new pics (I know, no shame!)
View all comments by fontok69
Back in my bar girl shagging days, I had a friend who would literally fuck anything. If he found anything good i would simple over bid him.
RE: Whips. Every true player in bangkok should try a 12 hour session at Chateau Jade, at least once.
View all comments by MSB
BBB - my schooling is a private matter between me and the ‘manacled & marmalade covered nuns’ in the convent down the road who I used to visit after lights out to escape the attentions of Adrian ‘pork sword’ Heffington-Smythe who used to roam the dorm with his flying helmet and wet celery. So all-in-all a perfectly normal upbringing.
View all comments by doctorbond
One of the many beauties of Thailand is that you can afford a maid for the living room, a cook for the kitchen (often doubles as the maid) and many many whores for the bedroom.
It is true that few of the whores initiate interesting new experiences but that is probably because most of their customers are at least half cut when doing the deed and a simple wham bam thank you mam approach is the most common.
I think girls in Thailand learn “on the job” and so the frequent lack of quality tells a lot about the skills of their teachers. Certainly when I lived in Bkk I found that girls I saw a few times learned fairly quickly what I liked and were relatively easy to persuade to try new positions, holes etc.
I suppose that comes back to the good sense of WW’s approach, at least for us more mature chaps who do not need nor could survive, upside down blow jobs!
View all comments by Not in Paradise
@Mobster: That’s true, but not really what I was getting at.
@trinidad john: Eden/Tulip for rimming
The porn thing is an interesting point which I hadn’t considered.
@swampthing: It’s a love/hate relationship, and too complicated to fit into a pithy comment
@Pants: Sure. But I could pull a scrubber in Scunthorpe who’d happily let me bang her up the arse and then unload in her face. She wouldn’t look as cute as a Sukhumvit streetwalker, but she’d be far more adventurous.
@WW: After I got bored of banging hotties, I spent some time seeing how depraved I could actually become. I should write about it, but it’s far too embarassing. There’s not much that the less attractive “entertainment providers” won’t do.
That said, I was recently set upon by a chubby chancer on the Miracle Mile who told me “500 baht you can do anything”. I asked if I could shit in her ear. She said no.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
If you speak with experienced employers here in pretty well any business, you will likely hear the same lament.
Although there are some gifted people here in all fields, the average skill level and commitment to the task are quite below expectations in the west. In fact, “being skilled” at your job is not really an aspiration of the culture. Taking pride in one’s work is really a western thing, so much so that we interpret, “What do you do?” as “Who are you?”
When they are on the clock, Thai sex workers are pretty much as lazy as Thai workers in every field, according to most people I deal with. Plane loads of men show up here every day because enough like the look at a price affordable to almost all.
Just as a side note, but this was probably not the way you wanted this to sound, right?
quoting BBB…
“I’ve slept with probably more than my fair share of Thai girls since coming out here,”
View all comments by Professor
TG’s do what they are incentivized to do.
If you restrict yourself to shortballers from GoGo’s, Beerbars, and Sukhumvit, the girls will behave the way you describe.
If you try to get them to behave any other way, you are pounding the proverbial square peg into a round hole.
One possible reason, the TG’s you have been with uniformly lack enthusiasm and a willingness to explore is because they all come from the same shortballing pool.
Have you thought of finding TG’s or at least adding some to the rotation that are not shortballing?
How about searching for TG’s outside of the P4P areas, i.e. fresh produce?
Or at least choosing some Yabaa girls with bi-sexually lowered inhibitions?
IMHO, TG’s outside the shortballing pool are very motivated to find and maintain a relationship with a desirable man. In Thailand, the non-hideous farangs with some money, e.g. TAFKABBB meet the desirable criteria.
In their view, the primary tool to do this is sex.
In their view, the primary problem with using sex to keep their man, or least have him come back for more, is sex is readily available in Thailand and men get bored banging the same girl again and again and again.
These TG’s are desperate to please their men and welcome enthusiastically any information that helps them to do so.
If you tell them that you get off on ……. they invariably are happy to oblige because they want to offer something that you cannot get easily from other girls.
It is embarrassing how happy and enthusiastic these non-short balling TG’s are to oblige once you have clued them in to your special requirements or given them some basic instructions—- and how enthusiastic they become at improving their skillset.
And of course, there is always the possibility that after you clue them in, they enjoy meeting your special requirements.
And of course, you can always rebuild your rotation with a dozen of these non-short balling TG who are enthusiastic and highly skilled at meeting your special requirements.
:) 
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@Not In Paradise: Another interesting angle, and almost certainly true!
@Professor: Agreed entirely on the staffing issue. Don’t get where you’re coming from on the quote though?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@ BBB - as in ‘out of the closet’
You gotta to watch this professor chap - he’s an erudite one
View all comments by doctorbond
Ah, oops.
Yes, I meant “coming out” to Thailand. Not “coming out”. To be fair, the same sentence did mention shagging lots of girls, so I think I’ve covered my back there. So to speak
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
In all my travels I’ve never found better cocksuckers than American girls. Haven’t a clue why, but that’s an art that seems most perfected right here in the land of the free and the home of the brave. Even my beloved latinas tend to fall a bit short on that front.
@ trinidad - internet porn is the best thing that has happened to sex since the pill. I has _completely_ changed the way girls in their early 30’s and under make it happen.
View all comments by tosh
@tosh: Haven’t tried an American girl yet. Which soi do they hang out on?
Best BJ I ever had was from a Thai gogo girl, but she was the needle in the haystack. And a meth freak. English girls definitely have a better batting average, in my experience at least.
Never ever considered the porn element until these comments started coming in. We need to erect (f’naar) a big screen in Siam Square showing highlights from the classics…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@BBK: Sorry, your comment wasn’t there earlier. Not ignoring you. Wordpress gremlins, I reckon…
In order:
Yes, I’ve dated and slept with “non-whore” girls, which I think counts as “fresh produce” and then some. I found them to be comparitively unskilled between the sheets, and more expensive than hookers.
Your recommendation of drug addicts scares me, although I’ve certainly been with a few. They become psychotic in the end, and I have no desire to deal with that.
And the problem with the long-term girls is that they invariably end up wanting to be my girlfriend, so I either need to get rid of them or lie to them.
Who’d have thought it could be so difficult…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
BBB - great post, I totally agree. Thai girls can be quite conservative when it comes to the act itself. There’s no doubt that when you weigh up all the factors, looks, their attitude, the cost of their service, they come out on top - but in terms of the service they provide, they are lacking. I think Kenny is right on two counts For a wild service it would have to be a meth fiend, or at least a girl who’s open to blazing weed and relaxing her inhibitions, or, a girl who wants to keep you. Girls who want to keep a man are usually quite malleable about accommodating his needs, at least within reason. Clasic example of a Thai girl who learned is Thai-American pornstar Luci Thai. In her early scenes she was a reluctant cocksucker, but by the time she’d appeared in the Flesh Hunter series she could suck like a trooper.
@Tosh, I totally agree. Most lately Western birds have benefitted from the trickle down effect of gonzo porn, even if they haven’t seen any, and so are more willing to to push the envelope. with regard to all the good stuff like gagging, rimjobs etc. The best noshes I have had BTW, have always been from black girls, who seem to be able to fold back their teeth at will
View all comments by milo
@milo: That’s exactly it. They do come out on top, and I’m not about to go and live anywhere else. I’ve just always felt that they’re often not *that* good in bed, whether P4P or otherwise. Nobody else seemed to be saying it, so I thought I’d throw it out there. Glad it’s not just me.
Meth fiends scare me. I haven’t had the wrist-slashing experience yet, but I’ve had a few scrapes, and that’s an adventure I have no desire to experience further.
Since you mentioned black girls, I saw a few black hookers on Soi 3 on Saturday night. I’ve seen a few black chicks down there over the years who I thought may be “working”, but I wasn’t sure and wasn’t about to ask “excuse me, are you a prostitute?”
I’m pretty sure these girls were though. Stood on the street near Sukhumvit itself, tarted up, and winking at me. Worth a dabble, perhaps…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@BBB - never bagged a brit girl, though not for lack of trying. I’d like to chase a girl around my apartment while she is wearing my Arsenal shirt and have her actually understand how touching that is for me.
@Milo - at certain risk of adding racism to the various other ‘isms’ that are practiced here, I completely agree. Dancehall and reggae shows are two of my favorite places to go fishing. I’d also add that a bizarrely high number of Jewish girls I’ve banged have been experts. It’s a fairly small sample in that survey, but the results are strikingly consistent. No idea why, just observing.
View all comments by tosh
I’ve got a friend who’s black, jewish and smokes meth! She probably is gonna ask me what the fuck is going on next time I meet her…
View all comments by mart
When you use a certain selection criteria you will get girls with certain characteristics.
The narrower and more sharply defined the criteria the more uniform the girls will be.
This is not necessarily a bad thing if the girls you get are the kind you want.
But if you don’t like the girls you are getting, then you have two choices—accept what you get or expand the selection criteria (I left out a third choice which is to keep doing the same thing and bitching and moaning).
If you say you want a car that gets good gas mileage but then complain the car doesn’t accelerate well, it sort of like complaining the weather is too cold after moving to Alaska.
Or going to a restaurant and ordering a bacon cheeseburger and complaining that it tastes like a bacon cheeseburger.
Or going to Nana parking lot or the Biergarten and refusing to pay more than 1000THB and complaining your girl is old, fat, and ugly.
The problem is not that Thailand does not have girls that will rock your world in and out of the bedroom.
The problem is that you are getting girls in places and choosing them using the wrong criteria.
When you move out of Sukhumvit and Patpong and into the wider world of Thai girls you find girls that are young, beautiful, enthusiastic, and open minded.
If you are decent fellow, of course, the girls will be interested in a longer term repeat relationship but in Thailand the man, especially ones with money like us, have a monopoly on the power in any relationship.
There is no reason to commit to anything you don’t want or to pay any money you don’t want to pay.
As Nancy Reagan used to say—Just Say No.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@BBK: I would wager that I’ve done a great deal more exploring “out of Sukhumvit and Patpong” than you have, not that it’s a contest…
I do like the girls I’m getting, aside from the occasional poor choice. I just wish Thai girls in general were a bit more enthusiastic and open-minded. The “needle in the haystack” problem. I did say in the article that perhaps it’s just me, but most of the commenters seem to agree.
I also said that the non-P4P Thai girls, in my experience, are less skilled between the sheets than their P4P counterparts. And by P4P I certainly don’t just mean Sukhumvit and Patpong.
Where else do you recommend I go prowling for an endless stream of hot young Thai girls who all love bum sex, threesomes and swallowing (for example)?
Do you know somewhere I don’t?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Lots of thai ho’s hang out at Neptune and Fenwick in Hong Kong. They do try, but…the Philipinas leave them for shit on a cost/benefit basis. Being Catholic they suck hole too.
View all comments by swampthing
@swampthing: Oh sure, I met a few when I was checking out Wan Chai a year or so ago. The Thais were mostly over 30 (some not by a little), and distinctly unimpressive. It was mostly Filipinas, who as you say were much more fun. The Thai chicks, amusingly, kept asking me what on earth I was doing in Wan Chai if I knew about the Bangkok scene…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
i’d also be amused to know what on earth you were doing in Wan Chai if you knew about the Bangkok scene?
View all comments by swampthing
Heh. Was in Hong Kong anyway, thought I’d check it out.
From the review:
Haven’t been back
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
No indeed. I left the corporate credit card behind the counter. I went back to collect it next day and…oh my fucking god the bill! Fortunately Neptune operates a “naughty whiteboy in asia” policy whereby the name “NEPTUNE’S NAUGHTY WHITEBOY IN ASIA BAR” is kept off the receipt. They use Wang Chung Happy Lucky Trading Co., or something like that, instead. Saved.
View all comments by swampthing
I caught my first STD in Neptunes in ‘94…
View all comments by MSB
Was her name “Wow”? I gave it to her.
View all comments by swampthing
There are some farang who bring the contest mentality to Thailand but it is rather pointless and, actually humorous most of the time.
In The World, there are guys who get off on having a trophy girl they can bring to parties and parade in front of the guys married to nagging middle aged housefraus and unattractive guys with no money who cannot get laid but in Thailand everyone is getting laid if they want to .
In addition, in Thailand everybody can be banging a super hottie every night if they have the money and inclination so making other dudes jealous is pretty much an exercise in futility.
My point is that there is an infinite supply of young beautiful Thai girls “who all love bum sex, threesomes and swallowing”, it is just they don’t know it yet!
And most of these girls, are sitting alone in their rooms every night, with no boyfriend and, generally, no money to go out and extremely limited options to have any fun.
And Thai culture makes it easy and acceptable to approach these girls and get their phone numbers and ask them out.
And Thai culture accepts that girls will bang you on the second or third (and occasionally the first) outing.
And the girls, are open to all kinds of fun partially because they are motivated to please and keep a decent guy and partially because being open to all kinds of fun is part of the basic Thai outlook on life.
One problem is that you have to put in a little effort to overcome the language barrier. Speaking only English cuts you off from 95% of the girl pool.
Speaking enough Thai to communicate basic ideas opens up your options substantially.
If you were conversational in Thai you would never bother going to Sukhumvit—unless you were the laziest slob in the Thailand and didn’t give a shit about throwing wads of baht down the toilet and getting low quality shoddy goods.
And if you were conversational in Thai, you would find that many Thai girls are just plain fun to hang around with outside the bedroom. They are intelligent, witty, with a great sense of humor and really really really get off on everything about men—unlike the man hating fatties of The World.
And if this doesn’t satisfy you when you have a rotation of these girls then you are a really really really twisted dude and aren’t going to be happy anywhere or in any situation.
As far as where to look for these girls (and looking for them is half the fun IMHO), I have some ideas but I am far from an expert. I am still learning all the ins and outs of Bangkok.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@BBK: So no specific pointers? Damn, where am I going to take this woody?
You’re basically saying that the non-P4P girls I already tried are better than I found them to be. Sweeping generalisations again, of course. And luck of the draw, I guess. How many of the non-P4P girls you’ve slept with “love bum sex, threesomes and swallowing”, to continue our tired example? Raw numbers? A percentage?
My Thai’s good enough I think, although hardly fluent…
ผมพูดภาษาไทยได้นิดหน่อย
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
BigBabyKenny: thanks.
View all comments by swampthing
FFS, is there no hiding place from Kenny’s drivel?
View all comments by Combover
@ swampy
No her name was Emily. I went to the dick doctor and he asked me if I knew where i got it (the green stuff coming out of my knob) from. When i told him her name he replied “ah yes. I get a lot of business from her”.
View all comments by MSB
Where you go depends on what you want. There is no one best place. It is a matter of personal taste.
If you want to add some University girls to the rotation go to the library at Ramkahaeng or hang around some of the clubs, internet cafes, etc. in the neighborhood.
If you want to meet girls with no education hang around Pantip and the 3rd floor of MBK.
If you want to meet bisexual girls try the Starbucks on Lang Suan.
It takes only a little ingenuity to find what you are looking for—presuming you have figured out what you want.
BigBabyKenny
P.S. Combover—Happy to see you are still alive and as full of warmth, compassion, good cheer, and brotherly love as always. It will be a sad day when you are gone. If you aren’t around where will we all go for our daily dose of pithily delivered dependable “the world and life in general sucks, I am not having fun, and piss on the rest of you who are” comments.
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
BigBabyKenny makes some good points, but the essence of what he is saying is that if you are not finding what you want in Bangkok P4P you should look outside. This is fair, and although I might quibble with some of his observations about what one might find here, he makes some valid points. As another expatriate burdened by the ability to navigate in the local language and social hunting grounds that extend beyond the “golden mile,” I share some of his conclusions.
However, BBB’s observations which started all of these comments, relate to the lack of high end service and the narrowness of what is on offer in Bangkok P4P. The link to the Shanghai “Red Sash” report gave a chubby to everyone reading it; no doubt Lolita’s saw a bump in traffic in the hours after the BBB piece was posted.
The thing is, Thailand is very much a middle market in the paid sex world. We pity the poor folks making real money in Singapore forced to accept Orchard Towers and watch them gorge themselves when they travel here. Likewise, Hong Kong, Korea, KL, Tokyo and other developed locales offer high prices and limited selection compared to Thailand.
As for the western countries we all left behind, best that they are left behind.
After a while, even the temptations of Thailand start to become a bit stale and we long for the more exotic experiences of the Shanghai post. Interestingly, it was not much more expensive than a trip to a better soapy here. As prices have steadily risen here, the middle market feels a bit of a squeeze.
Pattaya offers lower prices, but an even narrower set of options than Bangkok. Pattaya is like the Wal-Mart of P4P - everyday low prices on middle of the road merchandise. Bangkok has more diversity in its market, but remains a middle market at best. The efforts to move up market (Soi 33, G Clubs, J Clubs for the Japanese, etc.) are viewed by many to be more perceptional as opposed to any underlying superior value.
No doubt the lads running the Thai operations of Tesco are a bit chagrined when the head office boys come here on inspection. I suspect that the financial performance is more than adequate, but they have moved the assortment down market to make the format work here. In pretty well every industry I have been exposed to here in Thailand, it is much the same. This is a highly price-sensitive, generally low service, buyer beware market. There are some small segments where value-based competition exists here, but they do not drive the market and these are narrow niches.
P4P is simply another Thailand business where price and convenience drive everything. It would be nice to have more choice and the ability to move up market but customers here want low price and high convenience. I am still looking for a real pizza place, too.
View all comments by Professor
@BBK: I didn’t ask where to meet girls. I know where to meet girls. Anywhere. It’s Thailand!
I asked where the girls with open-minded kamikaze enthusiasm for wild and raunchy sex were. I still maintain that they’re a tiny minority, and that you’re actually far less likely to meet them outside the P4P environment. Needle in a haystack whatever your M.O., which was kind of the point of the article, I think…
@Professor: Like I keep saying, I’ve looked outside P4P, and found the girls even less adventurous.
With you on the rest though.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@BBK: Rich indeed, coming from the man whose dead words can suck the fun and spontaneity out of any pretty much any topic you care to mention. Verbosity, pomposity and speciosity sure as hell ain’t my idea of fun.
But not to worry, I’m generally kept more than amused by the rest of the folks here.
View all comments by Combover
I love a good fight - will there be popcorn?
View all comments by doctorbond
BBB - I’ve never seen any black girls down Soi 3 that looked like they were working - I’ll mark that down for further investigation on my next trip.
On the ‘European Models Floor’ at Polo Entertainment Lounge in Pattaya I met a lovely black girl from Cote D’Ivoire who was happy to sit and pass the time with no pressure, I’m sure she would have been a great shag… I offered to buy her a ladydrink and she told me not to bother, since they were something ridiculous like 500 baht. I thought I’d go back and barfine her but never made it.
She had a completely different attitude to a Russian colleague, who though equally well-made, shook her tits in my face for all of a second and then said ‘tip for me’, before sashaying off with my 50 baht.
Which brings me to another point. I liked Professor’s post, but I have to disagree with his weighing up of Pattaya, which I think offers far more variety than Bangkok. In Pattaya you see half-thai, half-black girls, barely-legals, bisexual girls with their butch girlfriends, katooey who would be tempting if they weren’t so scary, as well as sexy ex-Soviet, Israeli and Arab holidayers. Pattaya could well be the future - and it needs rescuing from farang with facial tattoos and obese Omanis.
Tosh - I’m with you on Jewish birds too, they really exude sexuality.
View all comments by milo
@doctorbond: No popcorn, but there will be Big Mango cheeseburgers. Which I sampled earlier. Yum.
@milo: I’d wondered about it for a while, like I said, but Saturday I was 99.999% sure of it.
Regarding Pattaya, surely you get all those characters in Bangkok too? Not to mention the islands (so I won’t)…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@ BBK - Never been to the Lang Suan SB but must shamefacedly admit I hit a few near my hotel when I’m there, this from a person who used to have a ‘Corporate Coffee Sucks’ bumper sticker. But my hotel has miserable coffee and I need it to survive. When the offices empty out at lunch and at closing time if I’m in the coffee shop I fall in love at least a half dozen times per day. The closest I came to a pull was a GORGEOUS Thai girl, probably early 20’s, who was doing a needlepoint thing of, of all things, a famous painting by an Austrian expressionist. I caught her eye, smiled and said ‘Egon Schiele? Interesting’ at which point her face lit up like a search light and . . . she stared asking me questions in Thai about 400 words per minute. Curses, foiled again by that same old language barrier.
@ Combover - Obviously you don’t like the writing style, but I think it’s cool that BBK has a very consistent, carefully thought out approach to his Thai girl experiences. Besides that, he ‘verbosely, pompously, and speciously’ told me about Orchid Massage so I owe him a couple
I think it’s really funny that all of you guys are so down on the LOS. ‘Sure, we can bang five different hot girls per week, but damnit, I want a blowjob from a girl suspended in midair by a red sash! Is that too much to ask?’
View all comments by tosh
@tosh: Live here for a few years and you’ll inevitably begin to ask yourself “what’s next?”
Man has infinite wants…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
It’s true - you do get all those characters in Bangers too - but not all on the same soi, at the same time, in a neon-lit panorama, ala Walking Street. Like you say, a man has infinite wants
Tosh - I have to say the encounter you describe sounds like something that you dreamt. You were in Starbucks, where you met a Thai girl needlepointing Schiele, but she spoke no English? That’s too surreal. A bit like the time I went to a blow job bar in Patpong, but instead of the tired old stools, they had Mie van der Rohe Barcelona chairs, Florence Knoll originals, with little hole cut out of them, so they could lick your balls from below.
View all comments by milo
Professor, Tosh, BBB etc.
In my opinion, TECHNIQUE is highly overrated.
The professional blowjob girls at Lolita’s have a great skillset. They know how to give a blowjob.
The professional soapy girls know how to give a soapy.
And I suppose the Red Rope girl knows how to give BJ while hanging from Red Rope.
But a girl who has just mastered the actual mechanics and brings nothing else to the table doesn’t rock my world and if that is all I wanted in a girl, I could teach any girl how to do it just as well—assuming she was amenable.
What gets me off is meeting intriguing girls like the one Tosh describes needlepointing in Starbucks.
First, she is in Starbucks which means she has some money because 80 THB for a coffee is real money to most TG’s.
Second, she has a hobby—needlepointing which means she has a lot of spare time on her hands and something interesting is going on inside her head. How does a girl in Thailand get interested in crafts and Western Art.
Third, she is a f’ing knockout.
What would get me off is finding out what this girl’s story is.—actually talking to her and finding out what she is about.
In The World, getting anywhere with a girl like that is a long shot, but in Thailand she is willing and eager to talk to you and it is not that difficult to strike up a conversation and get her phone number.
Once you have her phone number, it is not that hard to get her to meet you for dinner—although you might have to take her and a friend for dinner the first time.
And once you have taken her to dinner, banging her is definitely on the agenda.
And once you have banged her she will likely want to bang you again.
And when you bang her again she will be open to experiencing and learning about all the dirty nasty perverted shit that TAKFABBB loves.
And the whole thing will cost you less than 100 USD.
And there is no exclusive commitment required.
Can you see why I think some of the people who live here and always complain, complain, complain, bitch and moan, bitch and moan, bitch and moan will never be happy anywhere and in any situation?
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
@ Milo - Did I mention that I teeth fell out and I was thrown off a bridge? OK, that didn’t happen, it was real, this was the needlepoint she was doing, believe me.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/46/Egon_Schiele_016.jpg/800px-Egon_Schiele_016.jpg
Mies was German, I’m surprised he didn’t include a ball/butt licking option in his first version of the chair.
View all comments by tosh
@BBK: I think we’re going round in circles now!
Firstly, technique is vital. Like you said, if she doesn’t have it, you have to teach it to her. For me, that’s the advantage of P4P girls - they already have experience, and know a few tricks.
And again, you say “when you bang her again she will be open to experiencing and learning about all the dirty nasty perverted shit that TAKFABBB loves”
Like I keep saying, not in my experience. You’re alluding that your experiences have been different, but you’re not giving us any details. It’s not that I don’t believe you - I’m just interested in what percentage of your “Starbucks pulls” (for example) have been dynamos between the sheets. In my experience it’s single figures.
You keep describing how to get a Thai girl in bed. I think most of us can manage that.
My gripe is what happens (or doesn’t) once you get there, and the enthusiasm (or lack thereof) with which it’s performed. P4P or non-P4P, needlepointing Starbucks regulars included!
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
you’re all far to serious. Please god, let this be the last post
View all comments by swampthing
BBB,
In America, many woman believe just letting a man infrequently bang them is enough—and by and large they are correct.
They are incentivized to think this way. Once a woman marries a man and especially if they have children, American law prevents the man from leaving the woman without a severe sometimes crippling financial penalty.
Worse the financial penalty is proportional to a man’s net worth so even if you are rich it doesn’t matter. Marry and divorce and pay a severe price no matter who you are and how much money you have.
In Thailand, just letting a man bang them is not enough.
Men can leave without cost and if there are children it is the woman who faces the severe financial penalty.
This dichotomy explains the difference between Thai and American woman when it comes to sex.
American woman have no incentive to continue banging, to bang regularly, to bang well, or to do anything exceptional to satisfy the man.
In fact, other women will frequently put rather severe social pressure on women do.
How many times have you heard the fat women telling the skinny women it is unhealthy to be so skinny?
How many times have you heard the middle aged overweight over the hill first wives denigrating the older divorced guy who marries a younger still physically attractive woman?
Thai woman on the other hand accept the fact that just banging may not be enough.
It is important to them to stay physically attractive so their man will enjoy banging them.
It is important to them to continue to dress and groom well so their man will enjoy banging them.
It is important to them that the man have an enjoyable satisfying experience when they do bang them.
Because if they don’t it is probable that they will lose their man and be subject to the severe negative consequences thereof.
And they might have to go on the market again and find a replacement,
So you say your gripe is what happens after you are banging the girl. That they are not that motivated, not that open minded, not that skilled, etc.
If you are banging Thai girls in a setting where they expect and want to see you more than once, the Thai girls are incentivized in all the right directions and they behave exactly the way the theory predicts they should.
You ask about percentages.
Personally, with Thai girls the percentage is 100%.
Maybe it is because I do not ask for anything really really really funky but with every Thai girl who I have known where it is clear that it is not a one time transaction they are down for anything.
They might be shy at the beginning. They might not know what to do at first. They might not be into it the first time, but once they find that it rocks your world, 100% of the time they get enthusiastic, get into it, and enjoy it.
You have to broach things in a polite non threatening Thai way, but 100% of the time expanding the horizon or changing the game plan has been OK in my experience.
That is the great thing about Thai women and I am not sure it is true of women anywhere else in the world—what rocks their world is rocking your world.
I have Japanese friends who live in Thailand. Like most Japanese guys they are into some pretty out there stuff.
But all of these guys who have Thai girlfriends from the wider world of Thai woman have had the same experience I have.
Once their girlfriends find out what they like they get off on providing it.
The girls do not start out being “sexual dynamos” right off the bat so your “single digit” estimate is in the ballpark, but the girls are open minded and enthusiastic about learning and expanding the envelope and that is what counts and one of the things that makes Thai girls so different and so great IMHO.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
Bangkok Bad Boy: It seems to me that you are watching far too much porno and as a result developed a very distorted view on women sexual behavior.
I don’t have a lot of experience with Thai women but had/having my fair share with their farang sisters.
All the commenters seem to agree that, on average, western women are better in bed than Thais.
Stickman wrote about it long time ago and I’m in full of support his view on this matter.
Now, forget the XXX movies and look at real life situation.
How many women, even in the west, are into anal sex, giving a blowjob AND swallow, or interested in kinky treesomes etc ?
The truth is - very very few.
Anal sex hurts (how would you like someone push it up your backside ?) and the taste of sperm is revolting to most women.
The vast majority of women much prefer TLC sex than a wild or kinky banging.
Like it or not but this is the reality of life !
In my opinion you are asking far too much for a lousy 2000 Baht and should lower your expectations to a more realistic level.
Some people say that “lady”boys give the best blowjobs + you are guaranteed anal sex.
Perhaps this is your best option…
BigBabyKenny: I respect and appreciate your comments but none of your suggestions, on this topic, are of any use to the casual sex tourist in Thailand.
P.S. Nice to see some of TFS2M heavyweights commenting on WW’s blog.
View all comments by Manny
Nice to see some of TFS2M heavyweights commenting on WW’s blog
bah! I weigh more than all of them!
(anyway, they’re only here to see the spectacular return of the amazing Bangkok Bad Boy.)
View all comments by Werewolf
@BBK: “open minded and enthusiastic about learning” is to me the opposite of all things Thai, with a handful of exceptions. But I’ll keep plugging away. Perhaps the whole “needle in the haystack” scenario makes it all the more satisfying when someone really impresses…
@Manny: “too much porno”? Surely some mistake.
Perhaps my experiences in the UK were unfeasibly fortunate. Although anal sex only hurts if you’re doing it wrong. I’ve shat turds wider than my wang before, and I didn’t cry.
I’ve bedded Thai and farang girls who were very enthusiastic for the taste of gamete gloop. But like I said, the percentage of farang girls who are into it is higher than the percentage of Thais. It’s still low - plenty of lousy lays in the UK, too. Just not as low as here.
I never specified a price I was willing to pay, so not sure where you got the 2,000 baht from. If there was a Red Rope Lounge in Bangkok, I’d gladly pay whatever price they decided to charge.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@WW: Oops, didn’t see you there. Have your balls swollen up bigger than your head yet?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
BBB: I’ve actually got little tiny balls. When I don’t get sex they simply get smaller and harder (like my ex-wife’s nipples used to do when I sucked on them). At the moment it’s like walking around with two bee-bees in my sack.
I am just 48 hours from relief, however. I will be in Chiang Mai at this time on Friday, and my current plan is to be the first customer in Foxy Lady go go bar, as I will go there directly from the bus station with my bag in hand. I’ll worry about the hotel after I get laid.
I’m afraid that if I don’t do something soon my balls will consolidate into two points of mass that exceed the density of black holes. Two such objects in such close proximity are scientifically proven to collapse into one, causing a new ‘big bang’ resulting in the destruction of the current universe, and the creation of a new one made up entirely of my collapsed-then-exploded testicular material.
It’s not often you can tell a girl truthfully that the fate of the known universe depends on getting laid RIGHT NOW.
In the meantime, it’s mosquitoes and geckos in the room, a 50-50 chance for water every time I try to take a shower, and somtam for lunch. The only women in sight would have to pay me (and pay me a lot) to have sex with them.
Wish me luck… your very existence may depend on it.
I’m lovin’ life.
View all comments by Werewolf
@WW: Depending on how tiny they are, you may in fact only be in danger of growing a pair of micro black holes, which are thought to be capable of evaporating by a process known as Hakwing Radiation.
This, along with the elusive Higgs Boson particle, is one of the aims of the experiments planned for CERN’s Large
HardonHadron Collider (you knew I had to get a penis joke in, didn’t you?)So the universe may in fact be safe. Better bang the gogo girl to make sure though.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
PS. Best topic-drift ever. From the limitations of Bangkok’s P4P scene to knob jokes referencing quantum physics. I think it’s safe to say that you can’t get this *anywhere* else.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
So this is how you’re describing the possible fate of my testicles: “Under Hawking’s theory, this “evaporation” rate would increase as the black hole lost mass, eventually resulting in a micro black hole that would suddenly explode in a burst of particles.”
ouch!
View all comments by Werewolf
jesus wept!
View all comments by swampthing
Crikey!… And I’m not even from Oz. Is there a private room function for the two of ye?
View all comments by John Brown
I have my suspicions that WW has been hitting the steroids. Or oestrogen. What other explanation could there be for shrivelled testicles?
Either way, I’m jolly excited about what surprises he might spring us upon his return from “The North”. I’m fully expecting him to be a new man. Or woman.
View all comments by Combover