daywalker sent this in to me and I need to read it more but man this heavy.
http://www.phenchaloemphol.com/
Clearly this guy is bitter but most of what happened to him seems to be self induced through pure naiveté. Hard to tell what the timeline is but it appears this guy fell in love, wanted to buy land with a bargirl and live happily ever after in the space of weeks. Now that he is an SEO expert he is using this page to let everyone know how bad this girl is but seems to me he is announcing to everyone how naive and dumb he is. Or may I just don’t get it.
On the SEO part - this means someone has to use the internet to be searching for this girl which I hardly think is happening. Notice all the ads and links to his other sites which could be his agenda in the first place.
strange shit.
I wouldnt of even banged her for free
Not that anyone deserves to be ripped off or taken for a ride but hes gotta accept some responsibility for being such a pussy about the whole thing?
Some people never learn i guess
View all comments by Young Penfold
that looked like maid! anyway its typical of a niave american, leaving his country’s soil for the first time and getting skanked. in this case its thailand other cases central or south america.
1. money is a scarce resource hence protect it and use it wisely
2. when u know ur bleeding plug the wound i.e. cut ur losses off asap
3. reading this blog and getting advice from the hard nuts here would’ve saved him the grief
anyway hope the poor chap is doing oks now. not kewl to get done in to such an extent.
View all comments by limmy
What a dumbass. A girl that plays pool in a bar is mostly a bar girl, he could have asked.
(Sidenote: I once pised of two girls in the Hilary 2 bar by asking how long they have been working here, since I never saw them before.. Well, they weren’t working and had really serious faces afterwards. But that’s a real exception.)
He fell in love after such a short time, gave up his job for a girl he barely knew, sent her all his savings, blah-blah. Even in The World that would have been considered dumb. Add is complete ignorance of Thai culture in general and the nightlife scene in particular plus his childish imaginations of “true love” and there you have the self-induced catastrophy.
“99.999% from Isan or Esan are liars, cheaters and thieves”. Thanks to this dude for revealing how stupid he is. Funny he does not publish his own private data. Someone kick his ass please to give him more fuel for his immature self-pity.
View all comments by Phoenix
Ouch. Not even much of a looker. Not sure I buy the “99.999% of people from Isaan are liars and cheaters” line — a more realistic range would be 85-90%.
View all comments by KamnanT
The girl looks kinda cute and seems to be able to deliever a true girlfriend experience, great. Her eyes are a little too far apart, but I like chicks with tats and a nice body like hers. Too sad he didn’t mention what her price was for the first night. Should I write her a letter and ask?
View all comments by Phoenix
The idiot even registered an internet-domain for it……..I agree with Phoenix on this!
View all comments by Paraquat
I don’t believe that 99.999 percent of women in Esawn are liars and cheats. I don’t want a Esawn woman or bar girl for a wife either - just a personal preference. I do believe that Thai customs presents a challenge for farangs and Thais. However, the tuition of life sometimes is a high price to pay. He paid dearly.
I know of many “clicks” of women who lie. cheat and steal at every opportunity. They learn the trade from thier friends and teach their friends, (5 to 6 sponsors, sick mother, buffalo died, Thai b/f to support etc). But you know they have the same thing in Farangland backed up by political correctness and the courts.
You need to be careful. Yes, the guy was not wise! Still I feel sorry for him and wish him well. I just hope he has learned. I did. And I live here.
View all comments by Jay Edwards
Met a bird over song kran that works at “bangkok night plaza” or I think it can also be called “sun luam night plaza”. She works in a beer garden. I think a heineken branded one. Is this a working girl venue? Can anyone give me a heads up? I could always go along to check it out. But I cant be assed. Would prefer just for someone to be kind enough to post here.
View all comments by daddy
I have a hard time dissing innocent good guys - there is at least a certain nobility about him being so open and trusting….
(twat!)
View all comments by doctorbond
daddy - not sure what u are asking.
everywhere in thailand is a working girl venue if there are girls there selling their bodies.
sounds like this girl work for a beer company. pretty standard job around these parts.
is she a working girl? I don’t know. has she asked for money for sex? sounds blunt but that is the only real definition to go by. of course she may want a movie and dinner sometimes prior to her sleeping with you and and of course she may think you are paying.
not trying to be an ass here but even girls who have jobs sometimes turn tricks so all you can do is sort out the situation for this particular girl.
on a side note - pmmp and i have tried to pick up in this area and always fail. so my guess is there are not a lot of working girls there.
View all comments by smitty
thanks smitty. just trying to read the lay of things before i “lay”.
View all comments by daddy
he just kind of glossed over the fact the he was still married when he fell in love with this girl and that he had a kid back in the usa. could this be why she went ballistic?
View all comments by bkkunderground
This guy was a twat. I agree - if he had dated a prostitute back in the US, people would tell him he’s a dumbass. And he did look like death in the pictures. My guess is that he had probably dated some fat ugly cow in the US, made a kid, the cow got rid of him, he never had another girlfriend till he went to Thailand, which made him “fall in love” too fast (2 days ? Come on). He therefore lost his mind, lost his ability to think rationally, and was an easy target to be scammed by any lady of the night with half a brain. It’s his fault for being niave, falling too hard too fast, and falling in love with a working girl. It’s not her fault he was a twit - she was simply taking advantage of a love-struck farang - it happens all the time. Can’t blame the girl - it’s easy money, a better place to live and a nicer life.
View all comments by calvin
Isn’t “phenchaloemphol” a drug used to control menstrual cramps?
View all comments by But Different
“is she a working girl? I don’t know. has she asked for money for sex?”
In my own very limited experience in Bangkok this is not even always a reliable indicator.
I wonder what the question is behind the question. If he wants to hook up with her, best to try no matter if she is or not.
View all comments by Rob
Thanks for telling a real-life story as the temptation to fall for a this or any thai cutie is extraodinarily high to the vulnerable. The moral of the story: as Robin Williams said: “Men only have enough blood at one time for their penises or their brains” Don’t mix the two!!
View all comments by antoine garrity
I read about a similar story in Nong Khai a few months ago. The dude literally bulldozed the house after he found out his “tirak” had a thai boyfriend.
Would same same be appropriate for this story?
View all comments by Pablo likes Guiness
Something tells me this guy wanders around soi 4 babbling to himself.
View all comments by Paul
I stopped reading at the “I met her playing pool, in a bar, but I didn’t know she was a bar girl” bit. What a yoyo.
As for his mad seo skills, I’m still lol’ing.
View all comments by aussie tom
Didn’t you post a picture of this guy laying on the sidewalk during Songkran?
What’s he going to do next? Buy the Brooklyn Bridge?
View all comments by The Asian Badger
The twat’s SEO skills ARE pretty good. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.
View all comments by Plum
rob. yes. i just like to know all from the front end.
if they like you maybe they wont ever tell you. had that before. if they like you and then at some point in the evening they fall out of like with you - they can switch and tell you. had that before. i like to know because i feel like a bit of an idiot seducing and chasing a whore. will only do whores as whores. im not going to date one.
so - as you said - asking won’t always get you the real answer. and asking can be a deal breaker if she really realy isn’t up this street.
i guess there is nothing for it but for me to go and check this place out. see her in her “context”.
View all comments by daddy
A little research on the internet would have saved him a lot of money and grief.
I think the moniker “Hometown Hero” is appropriate.
http://www.2thebigmango.com/reader-submissions/2007/10/05/in-defense-of-thai-women-part-1-by-bigbabykenny/
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
Haven’t read the story yet. But shit: I know her!!! Too funny!
View all comments by rick
I second what Calvin said in his comment above.
I don’t feel sorry for this guy at all. If he didn’t know she was a hooker when he saw her in the bar, she was pretty straightforward about it in the morning when she asked him for cash. He went in eyes-open and ‘fell in love’ with a prostitute. (Wouldn’t that giant tattoo on her back have been the tiniest little hint?)
Even in his version of the story he freely gives her all his money, then gets moody, then moves out. Nowhere does he make the case for the girl — much less the entire family — stealing from him.
But in the end, here’s what I thought was the moral of the story… we all now have the name and address of a family in Burriram that has a nice house 80% finished. If you think this girl is cute, it wouldn’t take much dough to finish the house off, then you could move in with her and do your best to make a permanent imprint of her back-tattoo on the bedsheets.
I could write another 20 paragraphs about what a dickhead this guy is, but I’ll leave it there.
I think I’m gonna send the guy a shitty email just to try to make him feel a little worse. He can’t control his money, his woman or his life. This guy’s a fucking idiot.
View all comments by werewolf
Really. you know her? i wouldn’t mind meeting her in a way. i dont find her attractive at all. She looks rustic and bust. And that tatto screams hardcore. But would amuse me to meet evil first hand.
Someone should tell him to bulldoze the house. will perhaps help his healing process. he is an idiot. but i feel for him.
View all comments by daddy
BTW daddy: I understand all the things that smitty caveated, but basically the girls who work in Suan Lum night bazaar are not “bar girls’ or ‘working girls’… they’re waitresses in an outdoor beer garden that caters primarily to thai couples and tourist groups & families. She’s probably as ’safe’ as any waitress in Bangkok is likely to be.
View all comments by werewolf
She asked him to get an AIDS test…
View all comments by TingTong
werewolf. thanks man. helps a lot. i was going to send her an “indecent proposal” sms. but think now i will make a bit more effort.
View all comments by daddy
daddy: borrow a friend’s phone and send the indecent proposal from his number. Her response may tell you a lot about her.
View all comments by werewolf
Damm Dude you were warned..Now your going to try to slam her?
You left out the fact you paid for her sister to buy and setup a laundry service.
Never mind the fact you new fair well she was working in that bar the first night , her sister was the fucking cashier for gods sake!!
OK enough of my rant, but I even spoke with you when you asked about her, then a few weeks after when you were back and visiting her sister you got sick ,I do remember that and her saying , how he gonna pay his bills if he is sick.
Between her and Neung you had to see that things were clear? When i tried to talk to you , you showed no interest and that was that.
BTW the house is finished now and her and her boyfriend can be found any night on soi 4.
Im sorry things didn’t work out for you , but trying to play the She Cheated my ass role isnt going to work..
View all comments by Jboy.bkk
What a cunt, a bitch……. typical…and the guy… stupid to the max.
View all comments by Khun J
Well I have sympathy for the guy. He clearly didn’t even have the imagination to pose a few simple integrity tests for the lassie.
But this kind of stuff just comes by experience I guess. If you are on the receiving end of bar girl small lies and minor games for long enough you start to grow an awareness. I think it was unfortunate that the bloke just got into this situation before he had a chance to do that.
View all comments by Combover
People like this deserve each other. Nuff said…
View all comments by John Brown
Werewolf…Let us know what happened if you sent this loser an email. I wanted to do the same thing myself but you, as a BKK resident, have more cred. Cheers.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
I looked at that web site of the hard luck guy. A sorry, sad case. I feel for the guy a bit, but more I am very turned off by that type of Isan rice monkey that is so prevalent in Thailand. More so because of how they behave and the image they give to this country, rather than the actual damage they do to some unsuspecting plonker.
What always strikes me so much though is how these guys that fall prey to it just lack any common sense normally. Most of the time they are not swindled. They just hand it all over so easily because they have faith in a 4 letter word (love) which in Asia is really a 6 letter word (money).
So when they meet that little bit of Thai kindness looking for money it is so often mistaken as love.
Why is doesn’t ever occur to them though that it might be a con is the mystery. They simply do things that is beyond their better judgment, things they would never agree to if the same circumstances were presented to them back home in their own country. All of a sudden they just believe everything they see and hear, especially if it feeds the ego and soul.
The other sad thing about that guy is how he still believes he is in love with that girl. He was never in love in the first place. He was in love with a fantasy of the partner he wanted her to be and a façade she had created for him to feed into.
I think to a great extent what heightens their senses with women in Thailand is the false perception of the exoticism of it all. I say perception because exoticism is all based upon perception, in fact it’s made from that one element alone. As soon as something becomes absorbed, familiar and understood it is no longer exotic. The word exotic can be a whole nuther study unto its own, but the point is the enjoyment with these poor souls get from the girls is based upon that exotic feeling they have. Limited communication abilities, funny misunderstandings, cute hand signals and sign language, warm smiles, cultural nuances, a new environment, and their senses being wide open to new things. Hooks em every time.
View all comments by Cheapolay
thanks werewolf. good idea. that is perhaps a good generic acid test to remember for the future as well.
Im sure this guys story plays out every day with someone new. it is the house aspect that really leaves the sense that he got played big time. is there any way to buy a house in your name? perhaps using a company? but then doesnt a thai have to be a large stake holder? basically - is there any way to get it in your name. and not your thai hooker girlfriend’s?
View all comments by daddy
cheapo: well said, but what hooks them is getting laid for the first time in ages. With a girl way out of their perceived “league”.
BTW, money has 5 letters.
View all comments by John Brown
What I can never work out is how these fools get the money to lose in the first place. Just plain stupid & if it wasn’t her it would have been another girl. I wonder if he has an equally stupid & cashed up sister?
View all comments by Wombat
Even though I don’t sound like it I do feel for the guy, In his view he saw things much differently than they really were.
The first being that he didn’t see her as working, even though she really was a freelancer hanging in her sisters bar.
Then after she made it clear that she was, he somehow forgot that after a few days, and started to think she would now be a freebie because she stayed with him a few nights and he felt like it was love.
The problems that are almost typical when a nice guy comes over from another country and forgets that these girls ‘Dont need saving” thats not why they are out drinking and having fun. It seems he felt like he was saving her from something but didn’t realize she was working to make money, or at least if your feeling like a night in shining armor you better have more money than the girl otherwise what are you really doing?
The house thing is almost like textbook, ” I need to build a house for family ,us, ect’
funny he didn’t see her house was next door from here family’s?
I think the real misunderstanding comes in where he thinks that they are going to go live there anytime soon, Do you really think a 25 year old girl who likes to party is going to move back home with a guy and no real money? he wanted to work from home , something she probably didn’t understand how was he gonna make money.
I don’t want to sound like i am on her side or his , she was playing or looking for the long term guy with lots of money , then saw he wasn’t the one when he started in about not having money for this and that ect.
one last thing is , how many guys out there would really like to go live in your tirak’s Thai style 1 room apartment, with no air-con, no cable tv,no pool, no gym for 2,500 baht a month ? Dont most of us who come here look for a better life? He new the house would be for the future like 10-20 years from now when there rich and can retire together.
Like I said before they both saw things differently , she saw a long term financially supporting relationship and it seems he saw early retirement without a nest egg.
OK who’s next?
Coffee time now ,
Cheers
View all comments by Jboy.bkk
A fool and there money are easily parted, but are lucky to be together in the first place.
Another case of a guy that couldnt get a half decent looking woman in his old country and fell in the love at the first site of a girl under 8stone that showed interest.
We all hear stories of the issan girls swindling guys, but i am yet to hear of a gayguy getting swindled by a thai guy - maybe they are too embarrassed to come clean?
View all comments by Young Penfold
yp - i was told an awesome gay guy getting ripped off story and how he got back to them. I think the instances are less but they are far worse and the retaliation was harsh.
View all comments by smitty
We…….. well at least I want the details
View all comments by Young Penfold
Jboy.bkk - Very intuitive and sensitive. I like your observations and I agree there is a side to it where she gave him signs of what she really was and he ignored them so that he could place her in the box within his mind that he already had designed for her. So he played with fire and not as naively as he admits to himself. The rest is history…
John Brown - Thanks. With six fingers on one hand I often get confused counting.
Gay stories, I am sure there are plenty. Most of us probably don’t hear them because we are not in that social circle. I did hear one though, and to make a long story short, the foreigner’s live-in Thai boyfriend wasn’t even gay in the end by definition. He had a wife and child up in the provinces and was sending all the money back to her all along. It was only discovered when some letters were read that the Thai bloke left behind. This was after clearing out the punter for enough dosh to build his family a new house. And for the gay punter to find out later that not only his partner a thief, but not even gay like himself, must be pretty hard to swallow (no pun intended).
I am sure there are a number of similar LB stories to go along with this as well.
View all comments by Cheapolay
You always have to feel a little sorry for anyone who gets their heart broken but some people rush in so blindsided that you can’t really waste too much pity on them. Then when they decide to get bitter and vengeful about it you lose all ability to identify with them.
View all comments by Billy Bangkok
Raising his voice with YP: I also want the details, Smitty!
And.. YP: Did’t you want to write up an LB-post? We are still waiting…
View all comments by Phoenix
I was going to write up an LB post but my writing skills are weaker then a kicked puppy. Plus ive had my hands full lately………. and no, not in the LB sense
All good things come to those who wait
View all comments by Young Penfold
I would like to know what bar she and the sister work in, cause when I walk down soi 4 I want to be able to cross to the other side of the street. A lot of bad Juju coming from that place, don’t need any of it coming my way.
I know a guy that did the same damn thing and has been in the courts for over a year trying to get back some of his money.
The only thing this guy in the story did right, was that he didn’t knock her up.
View all comments by The Man
the Man,
not to worry they both are doing different things these days, The time the story talks of is over a year ago.the sis owns a laundry /salon in phuket and well the main character of the story doesn’t work anywhere as far as i no.
saw during songkran with her boyfriend.
View all comments by Jboy.bkk
Yes YoungPenisMold, please don’t write anything. I agree, you surely are not up to the task. Do give the LB a kiss for us too.
View all comments by Cheapolay
yes the guy is a loser. but let us also agree that this bird is complete scum.
no one likes someone that takes advantage of weak people. and this is what she did. she schemed it from the off. the calculation to it is pretty evil.
she isnt even hot. that is the biggest tragedy to all of this. as i said before she looks rustic and bust.
im quite angery about it and im not even this guy. the guy is pathetic and needs someone to fight his corner for him. is bulldozing the house an option? Does he own the house and then she owns the land? So he can bulldoze it? hes probably too pathetic to do this even - to make the call for it. but if everyone - and there are so so so many - that get into this situation bulldoze the house it will perhaps stop this sick play by issan schemers.
View all comments by daddy
I know a local business man come politician who I think would be up to the bulldozing job. He has good experience from some work he did in the Sukhumvit area before.
View all comments by Cheapolay
I started feeling quite ‘angry’ when I read this also. How odd?
How many of us that read this, thought about what we’d do if we were in this situation? (I mean the bloke YP, not the girl)
If it were me… I think I’d be tempted to put a hot iron on her back and ruin that hiddeous tattoo that she proudly shows.
But that’s just me being a nice guy
View all comments by Daywalker
YoungPenisMould? Wow that was a painful attempt at humour. Im embarrassed for you.
Please do what you do best and stick to the endless rants about wastes of bandwith and how boring the blog is that you endlessly comment on. dai mai?
View all comments by Young Penfold
YP, I will wait, all good
View all comments by Phoenix
he got unlucky in chosing that girl who then ripped him off.he should have being more careful found out a few things about bar girls in thailand before doing what he done
View all comments by geoff davies
My x wife took half my house, half my bank acc. 7 yrs off my life, that’s why I go to Thailand, geez I luv her, thanks darling.
View all comments by Sticky
Thanks for the link…certainly the guy is promo’ing his other sites, but he does have a story to tell.
My feeling is that for every one of these tales written and posted in detail there are dozens or hundreds of similar tales that go unreported. And thousands of tales of people who’ve been somewhat less naive (it wd be difficult to be MORE naive!) and gotten majorly stung, and tens or hundreds of thousands of guys dumb enough to wire Nit or Noi 10-30K baht monthly in exchange for formulaic emailed declarations of love and SMSs detailing sick mothers, broken motorscooters and moody water buffaloes.
I don’t have a lot of sympathy for this guy, but his tale is an analog for the human condition: yr marriage in The World goes sour and it hurts emotionally. OK. But this dude took a further step and headed for the World Capital of Poussoir…now why did he do that? And why did he (apparently) do ZERO research on the culture/language/practical experience of what he was getting into?
To me, this is the essential question. Because everything else that followed is so by-the-book that it’s barely worth reading. You go to the top of Mount Everest and you’re dying from hypothermia and lack of oxygen. The question is: why did you not bring warm clothing and bottled oxygen? Did you think you were going to Bangkok instead?
This guy’s co-dependence (”I loved her so much…she promised she would teach me Thai…”) is pungent. Yes, he was naive, but how…many…Western…guys have been peeled whole by Isaan bargirls? What’s really needed is a thinking-outside-the-box economist (like the guys who wrote FREAKONOMICS or GIRLS GUNS GANJA) to crunch some data and get a rough idea of how much this ongoing, chaos-theory scam is affecting the Isaan economy. I’ve already heard anecdotal evidence that Isaan men are irked because the farang influence has raised sin sot prices to levels they can’t afford.
Alternatively, an slightly twisted essay on the art form of how to correctly skin a lovesick farang, maximizing gain while minimizing effort (with additional points for juggling other farangs on the side). Suppose farang-dude suspects Mom is not actually sick, what’s the going rate to hire the town-leper to pose as “Mom”? How much wd that be worth: huffy suspicious farang strides out of Buriram train station only to meet…genuinely ill (but not genuinely maternal) “Mom”? Much tears. Much remonstration. “Why you doubt me, you no lub me!” Cha-CHING!
JtB
View all comments by Jack B
So in summary…. never take on a dog-looking girl like this one. Get yourself a ‘looker’, then when it all goes tits-up and you lose all your shit, you can at least say “I was dumb-struck by her norks and arse”
People who fall for the uglies and give them all their money don’t deserve to be on the food-chain.
View all comments by Daywalker
Befuddles me how these guys can ship wads of cash and hand over there worldly possessions to girls that i, and many others wouldnt even bang for free
No wonder we ferangs are a laughing stock out here
View all comments by Young Penfold
I must have been reading a different website.
The one I read said:
1. the guy was married to a Thai woman before (his ex-wife).
2. He met a hooker and had sex with her. He didn’t know she was a hooker until the next morning when she openly asked him for cash.
3. After he discovered she was a hooker, they dated for a few weeks, including a trip to Hua Hin.
4. The guy had extremely limited cash funds:
he couldn’t afford a house in Hua Hin
his salary in the US was only enough to pay the bills
he didn’t have enough money to finish the house
he stated clearly that he couldn’t afford to live in Bangkok.
5. Although they were dating, she made it clear that “She didn’t want a relationship.”
6. In spite of this, this guy had fallen in lust and thought that it would be a good idea to spend all of his money building a house for him and his teerak.
7. When she started acting like every girl in every country in the world by nagging him a little (Noy started saying don’t look like Don’t stand like that. Don’t eat that way. Don’t talk too much, I don’t want to talk) he got a shitty attitude. What was his answer? “I thought… where is the love now? So I packed my things up and started to leave.”
8. He complained that she was gonna let him leave. What did he want instead… a screaming tantrum? Begging? Self mutilation? He’d been seeing her for a few weeks before and after being in the US for months. Of course she was gonna let him leave. He should have figured it out a lot sooner, but he ABSOLUTELY should have figured it out here.
9. He seems to see the discussion about living in Bangkok as a watershed moment in the relationship. First, it’s nuts to have started building a house without having this clear first. Second, he seems to have no plans to work in Thailand. Third, he rejects any sensible comment she makes, such as going back to America to work for limited time.
10. When he collapses in the house (what’s THAT all about!?) she takes him to the hospital and gets him taken care of. What’s his big complaint? That she’s on the phone calling her friends. What do Thai girls do at the hospital? They call everyone and tell them the news. It’s just what they do. But here’s his comment on her behavior: “Wow what real love huh?”
11. Apparently she’s worried enough about his health to ask him to have an AIDS test (Maybe that’s what her friends meant by face like death?)
12. Finally he tells us that he’s still married during all of this. He says he starts getting depressed.
13. He wants to get married as soon as his divorce is finalized in a couple of months, but apparently she’s getting cold feet. And why not?
He has no money, and apparently no job
He has already packed up once and threatened to leave her
He walks around in a bad mood all the time
He’s sick enough that he’s passed out in the house
In spite of being married to a Thai before, he doesn’t speak Thai, isn’t making any effort to learn, and appears to be complaining to her that, bar girl that she is, she isn’t teaching him Thai
When she suggests that he do something constructive (go to America and earn a bit of cash) he refuses
14. She asks him to go to Bangkok with her and he relates a conversation from a bad teenage movie: “I said maybe i shouldn’t go. She said why not. I said why should i go if you don’t want me to? She said “but i asked you to go with me”. I said you don’t act like you want me to. She said “well i still feel the same as before, my feelings are down about us”. So I said, i won’t go.”
15. In spite of him acting like a total dickhead to her, what is her reaction? “She calls me. Honey i’m in the taxi come on let’s go. So i get dressed and get in the taxi. All the way to the train station she is trying to explain for the 10th time or more. I really want you to go back to the USA and work hard for us. Send money every month and I will try and get a visa to visit with you.” Gee, he’s the one telling the story and he sounds like the ass and she sounds sensible.
16. At the trainstation, he decides to send her off to Bangkok alone on the train — another dickhead move. In spite of this, when she arrives in Bangkok she called to say she’d arrived. His thought? “What did she want from me, congratulations?” What an asshole.
17. Next day, more of the same: “Next day she called me and asked what color paint and tile I wanted? I said what difference does it make if I won’t be living there with you? So she said “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I told you what i want you to do”.
18. His response is to pick a fight and then threaten to move out to an apartment on his own. This is the SECOND time he tells us he’s threatened to leave her. How many times did he threaten that he didn’t tell us about?
19. Finally he (figuratively) slaps her one time too many, and “She told me to get the fuck out, i never want to see you again.” A long time coming in my opinion. Remember, this is the guy who left her at the train station the day before, who packed his bags to leave just a few weeks ago, who just told her that he doesn’t care what colour paint she wants, since he is going to move out on his own. If I was her I’d have told him to get the fuck out too.
20. He picked a fight with her, but instead of trying to make up with her, he packs his shit and moves out. He’s pretty self-congratulatory at being able to do this without knowing any Thai. Why the fuck didn’t he bother to learn the language if he wants to know so badly? He was living in Burriram, you’d think it would be useful. The best he can come up with is to say blame his girlfriend for not teaching him. Jesus… show a little initiative man.
21. This amazingly sensitive guy CALLS HER in Bangkok to tell her that he’s moved out. He’s surprised that she’s angry and screaming. “She said “i will sell my pussy, take drugs and drink alcohol every night until 9am the next day”. He doesn’t understand why she says that.
22. Is anyone on the planet really more stupid than bargirls? Are there people who don’t understand that self-destructive behaviour like drinking, cutting and drug taking can be shouts for attention? He complained that she didn’t try to stop him from moving out before; now she’s using the only thing he seems to care about (her health and well being) to coerce him to stay, and he complains about it. What does this guy want anyway?
Finally she cuts him off. This guy is unstable, moody, unpredictable and broke.
The pictures show that she had seemed to be pretty happy with him. She introduced him to her family and was ready to move in with him in her village.
So she didn’t want to marry him. In Thailand, living there’s little distinction between living together and being married. Maybe because she had a Thai husband or boyfriend, but equally likely because he seemed to be starting to act erratically.
One of his big complaints is that she recommends several times that he should go to the US to earn some money. In the face of him having, apparently, no alternate plan, this seems like a sensible suggestion. One might argue that she’s trying to get rid of him, but to me it sounds like he made a bad decision to come here without a good plan for financing his plans, and had no alternative idea for earning the cash to support the two of them.
Apparently this guy is so stupid and so strange he has paid to “have some black magic done on her”. I mean, really.
The idea that he got ’skinned’ or ’swindled’ or ‘cheated’ comes from somewhere other than his narrative.
He wrote this, not her. Presumably he’ll spin every fact to reflect him in the best possible light and her in the worst, yet even his version of events makes her sound generally sensitive, caring, positive and intelligent in the face of an immature and unintelligent guy who is coming unwound in front of her.
Yeah, she loses her temper a couple of times and says some shit, but nothing more than he seemed to deserve based on what he tells us about his situation and behaviour.
I won’t say that anyone is wrong for thinking that she cheated him, or that this guy was unfortunate or deserving of empathy, but I will say that I can’t find anything in the story that this guy tells to say that this girl did anything wrong. He, on the other hand, seems to have behaved abominably, and if anyone is going to have to answer to Buddha, it’ll be him.
To me, this is a story of a man who self-destructed, not a man who was destroyed.
View all comments by werewolf
Asian Badger: I was gonna send an edited copy of the above comment to this guy via email. I pressed his contact button and got this message:
” You want to contact the webmaster?
In order to do so you must make a minimum contribution in order to receive a reply.”
I pressed the donate button to find out what the minimum amount is, but it just took me to a Paypal function with no minimum stated.
What a dick.
Two days ago this guy had his email address posted, so this is new. I used google to look at the cached page. His previous posted email address was: webmaster@phenchaloemphol.com
View all comments by werewolf
@Werewolf
If you do a whois against the website you get the following details:
Registrant:
William Brandes
P O Box 601652
San Diego, California 92160
United States
Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: PHENCHALOEMPHOL.COM
Created on: 19-Nov-06
Expires on: 19-Nov-08
Last Updated on: 21-Nov-07
Administrative Contact:
Brandes, William
P O Box 601652
San Diego, California 92160
United States
6192656757 Fax –
View all comments by beamer
oops omitted the email address
bill@moreteleccomforless.com
View all comments by beamer
oooh it gets better..
Is it just me or is he
http://www.phenchaloemphol.com/images/buriram_thailand.JPG
the same as this guy (a registered sex offender)
http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/flyer.do?personId=31368
View all comments by beamer
WW - A little long in the tooth, but you do make some good points there about his behavior.
Beamer, I have to say there is definately a strong likeness there between the two pictures, but it is hard to say for sure. How did you come up with that though?
View all comments by Cheapolay
@ Beamer - good work - the powers of the internet.
By the way he invited me back to his hotel in soi4 once as he told me he had some jelly sweets and puppies to stroke. I wish id of gone now
View all comments by Young Penfold
Damm , Unless you were making up the whois info, than that is him!!
Or am I missing the joke?
View all comments by Jboy.bkk
@Cheapolay
When I did the WhoIs against his website I could see he had registered it in his name (William Brandes). I then did a Google search for William Brandes and voila! Same name, same hair (including the dodgy hairline ;-)),same State (San Diego), same face
He is a SEO yet he stupid enough to register the website in his name which when googled gives a link to him on the Florida Department of Law Enforcement - what a dumbass!
I see he “fat fingered” his email address though (2 C’s). His real email address is bill@moretelecomforless.com which is listed on
http://www.moretelecomforless.com/contactus.htm
View all comments by beamer
Jboy.bkk - If you are missing the joke, then so am I!
Nothing a bolt through the back of the head wouldn’t sort out if it is true!
So in reading this story, for how many bad experiences people have, what is the ratio of men who have fallen in love, & living the dream compare?
View all comments by AUK
@Jboy.bkk
Check for yourself, just use any whois service i.e.
http://www.whois.net/
enter phenchaloemphol in the WHOIS LOOKUP field then click on GO
That will give you his name (William Brandes)
Goto http://www.google.com/ and enter his name as the search term.
On the second page of results, about 5 entries down you will see him listed along with his photo, address and the crime committed.
View all comments by beamer
oops I think I need more coffee; I meant to say same City, not same State. I wish I could edit my posts instead of having to submit a new one…
View all comments by beamer
beamer: great info. btw thanks. Definitely looks like the guy. On editing posts, there are some Wordpress plugins that offer editing of Comments for a certain period of time after you submit but they are kind of clunky. There is another way to do it that we will probably get working on durianseed.com first and then backport to the blog and guide. This would allow the original commenter to edit their comments.
View all comments by pmmp
Great detective work Beamer. The only discrepancy is that he seems to live in California, according the Who Is information on his domain, but the sex offender case is for Florida. Going back to the link now I see it does say he lives in California though so that is clear.
It seems the offense itself is possession of child pornography, which is not a good thing obviously, but just based on that I would not classify him as a sex offender, even though it is an offense of the law in Florida. Meaning he did not actually assault, abduct, or harm anyone sexually as far as we know.
Either way though, it is not good and surely says something about his character. Leaving out any moral issues though for a moment, he obviously has some questionable character traits which do add to the profile of someone who might have been a bit of an outcast and seriously neglected emotionally which would make him easy prey for someone selling the prospect of “love”.
View all comments by Cheapolay
Sorry…just reading what Cheapola wrote….
“It seems the offense itself is possession of child pornography, which is not a good thing obviously, but just based on that I would not classify him as a sex offender”
- I would happily put a bullit in any fookers head who had a bunch of kiddie porn in their collection. Sick fuck..
What goes around…….
View all comments by Day Walker
DW - I agree he is ill for wanting to look at it, but the problem with that industry, just like the drug, pirated music, or any other black market industry is mainly the suppliers more than the users. Stop the supply, stop the use. Simple.
But as I said, and I am not defending him, but he also did not sexually abuse anyone according to that charge. That is clear.
When I first saw the link beamer posted I did not scroll down to see what the offense was. So I assumed he had physically done somehting sexually wrong to someone. And that was a wronf assumption so the charge can be misleading if not clarified. Then, only after scrolling down, did it reveal that he did not touch anyone sexually without consent.
The true offender of what ever material he might have had was the person/people who created it.
View all comments by Cheapolay
@Beamer
Nice work there , out of all the people that read this post, got into the story your the only one who took a further step into it, Good job BTW.
View all comments by Jboy.bkk
Cheapolay: That guy jerked himself off while looking at pictures of violent child abuse. Child abuse is on of the worst crimes in my eyes. And taking pleasure in or even getting an orgasm by looking at such movies or pictures is equally a crime and sickest shit. I agree Daywalker.
He only didn’t abuse children because others did it for him. If I pay you to commit a murder I will also be punished as a murderer even if I didn’t pull the trigger. That guy deserves equal punishment.
View all comments by Phoenix
You got a point Pheonix. I’ll buy that.
View all comments by Cheapolay
Phoenix, just out of curiosity, do you have a source for that? Obviously, he’s an unsavory character, but at the moment, we only have your word for the “violent abuse” part — the guys crime could be less sinister than that (e.g. a nude beach photo of someone barely underage).
That said, judging by what a jerk he’s been to khun Phen, I’d say it wouldn’t be beyond him. Poor girl, at least I hope she got some decent money for enduring this fellow.
View all comments by crocodile
Looks like this blog keeps growing, check out the pingback by Werewolf
http://bargirlsrpeople2.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/glass-houses/
View all comments by beamer