I laid on my back in a drunken haze as my company for the evening made her way down on me. A fine working girl she was and very good at oral. I have been with her many times before and always enjoy lazing out and letting her do her thing.
Things were going great. I would look down at her naked body sprawled out and turned enough to where I could see her ass clinching with every thrust of her head on my johnson. Then I would close my eyes and think of naughty finishing images like the two uni girls holding hands on the BTS earlier in the day, or that 34 kilo spinner I met the previous night at a local GoGo that grinded me like I was a piece of Parmesan, or, well, you get the idea.
All of a sudden things got very wet down there. Because I was a bit intoxicated I wasn’t sure if I had finished or not. It was wet everywhere. I came out of my fantasy-on-the-verge-of-exploding phase to find out what the hell was going on.
First, a nasty aroma and then my lovely angel utters the words you never want to hear “I just throw up”. I went into shock. Well, first I was like, wooo, that never happened to me before, that was kind of cool. Then the reality hit and then I went into shock. I headed for the shower but being the sensitive guy I am I pointed at the bed and just said “clean”.
It was the longest shower I’ve taken since my last colored bed incident. Percentage-wise these things don’t happen that often but when you put up the numbers one does when living in Bangkok you’re bound to encounter some weird shit. Red Bed, Yellow Bed, White Bed, Brown Bed, and now Puke Bed. Many colors of the rainbow represented especially when you combine things. I will certainly suggest to my landlord to burn the mattress when I move out but to make sure it’s done in a controlled chamber where the fumes are filtered with charcoal or whatever. Alternatively, they can donate the bed to science to see if a new life form has been created. It’s possible.
After an hour in the shower the mess was cleaned up. I gave her a toothbrush and said I was off to crash in the living room. The next day she was all apologetic and I assured her it was not a problem.
Surprisingly though I was a bit worked up as I didn’t get to finish the previous night. Many of you might have sent puke girl on her way but I decided that it would be best for her to get back up on my horse. She did and finished without incident. Bravo to her.
Perhaps you are disgusted by this story, whatever, it happened and it was weird so thought I should share. If your thinking of trying this at home I would advise against it.
Oh well, off to the market to buy yet another set of sheets…
-pmmp
Your story is more ‘colourful’ but I am happy to say that I once had a lovely go go dancer from the Thigh Bar in Patpong come into my room and start throwing up. I quickly got her a bucket and 90% of the spew material in heaves #2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 managed to make it in there.
Not being one to waste a good barfine, I threw a towel over the mess on the floor from spew #1, rinsed out the bucket and came back to find my girl napping on the bed.
I woke her up and had sex with her several times during the night, including a very long and enjoyable series of 69’s. At one point (at her suggestion) we got a jar of strawberry jam and introduced it to the proceedings.
My bedsheets the next morning were a strange mixture of sickly sweet and malodorously sour.
She was in a surprisingly good mood in the morning, and sat around my apartment for a couple of hours chatting with me.
Alas, when I returned to the Thigh Bar a few weeks later she was gone, never to be seen again.
View all comments by werewolf
i hate when that happens…
View all comments by anon
Thanks for sharing. Kind of disgusting, but still a good laugh.
View all comments by rick
No No No….. this is all wrong. I don’t want a mental picture of pmmp covered in puke or werewolf covered in jam?!
Reminds me of when I told my girl not to come over when I was ill, as I’d end up ‘crapping’ on her. She said that would be fine as she’d pretend she was Japanese for the night.
Nice.
View all comments by Day Walker
Never had one puke on my cock before and it’s nothing that I really want to experience, but what sounds more disgusting is the brown bed incident. Could you please give us some details of what happened there?
View all comments by lovemachine
lm: I first heard a brown bed story from a friend. Nasty, girl poo’d the bed. Personally, it wasn’t that bad but after an anal invite from one of my giks I took a ride down the hershey highway and some road kill tainted my white sheets. Glad you asked?
View all comments by pmmp
Did it ever happen to you in Phuket?
View all comments by doctorbond
db: No, why? Does it happen there more than it does in bkk?
View all comments by pmmp
D.W Did you give your girl a good yellow shower? I here the Japanease dig that warm golden rain on therir face.
View all comments by Trav man doooo
That’s exactly the reason why I don’t like to go to the chocolate factory…
View all comments by lovemachine
Any Japanese on the board that can confirm that?
View all comments by lovemachine
As smitty would say Iam I/4 japanese.No, But my brother in law is.He is the one who told me about it. When He greets me he always says Pee on me baby,Pee on me.
View all comments by Trav man doooo
You sound pretty insensitive. If a girl puked I think i would be more concerned about if she was OK, if she was ill, or possibly needed some medical attention rather than worrying about the selfish state of my bed. You were probably too bush congratulating yourself on how long your member was that it made her throw up. It was probably though something less glamorous than that though. Either she fell ill or maybe your member made her ill. Next time try being a bit more of a man. Sheesh!
View all comments by CheapoLay
So ’slipping one up her’ whilst she’s bent over the toilet puking is a little insensitive also?
View all comments by Daywalker
- oh.. and it’s not the 1st time pmmp would have a girl in his bed that requires medical attention is it?!
View all comments by Daywalker
cheapolay: Soapies are your thing, keeping puke girls in place after they throw up on me is my thing, okay?
As for my tool, it’s not long but it sure is thin. I’m not sure if sucking it makes you sick. I wish I could try but I’m not built like a dog. I may be a dog but that’s as far as it goes. Although I do like pee’ing in public.
dw: Does medical attention include psychiatric?
View all comments by pmmp
I have to ask. Carrots? Everytime I have had the misfortune to throw up or obsreve someone throwing up said spew has contained lumps of carrot even though carrots haven’t been eaten for some time. In some cases months.
I thought you were very understanding. For an interesting experience I always recommend falling asleep on a faragette while she is giving you a blow job.
View all comments by Wombat
I find some girls can be very insensitive also when they fail to compliment you on a stinky fart that you let off when they are blowing you. Do they realise the effort it takes to squeeze one out whilst she goes about her business?
View all comments by Daywalker
Right on DW ! In my experience a thunderous belch can work wonders too - the rapid exhalation of gases from the upper torso cantilevers the groinal area giving extra and unexpected thrust - the girls love it.
Trust me, I’m a doctor.
View all comments by doctorbond
@Day Walker - are you Fart Hammer?!? The porno dude that rips a massive fart after he facializes his conquests…HAHA!
View all comments by anon
anon: No.. that’s my Brother. Not same Mother/Father
View all comments by Daywalker
Brown-Bed was not unusual back in my drunken youth. Pissed myself, shit myself and puked all at the same time.
Good times.
View all comments by bo
Way too much information.
Grab your talking dict and look up “discretion”.
View all comments by Mr. Kotter
kotter - we are just trying to keep with the title of the blog.
View all comments by smitty
Ahh, it makes me happy to hear i’m not the only one who has experienced some colorful sheets. I was beginning to think I was cursed.
Two or three months ago, I ended up with three red beds within a two week period. Not a little drop here and there but evidence of a full blown massacres. I still cannot understand the complete lack of care some ladies have. They act so surprised, as if the same thing didn’t happen last month at this time, and the month before that..etc. This is one point where western women are much better then asian girls. Some things are better off remaining hidden and controlled. The worst part was the ‘little talk’ I was given when I went to pay my rent that month. Like they say, never trust anything that bleeds 4 days straight every month and lives.
The puke/blowjob is a classic though. Better you than me!
Keep up the cutting edge reporting.
View all comments by Homey
h - I think u are looking at this the wrong way. I love that the Thai girls will bang under most circumstances - where their whit brethren might decide to take a break for a week.
View all comments by smitty
Wombat: The ‘carrots’ are actually chunks of the stuff that lines your stomach that break off when you hurl. Well, you asked. Who said the Internet wasn’t educashional?
View all comments by cabby
damn, this is some funny shit (no pun intended). I had the pleasure to be bangin a chick doggy syle here in US a couple yrs ago that started dryheaving and then puking. Being a gentleman…i politely moved her head to aim the projectile vomiting to the floor and not missing a stroke. The contracting cock holster with every series of heaving was to die for. Unfortunately this is the US and I had to clean up the mess…cant wait to move to Thailand in a few months.
View all comments by LenUSA