“My God. It’s full of scars”.
“I’m just looking, to see what I’m missing”. So sang Tim Burgess of indie groovesters The Charlatans back in 1995. Kelly Jones of the Welsh-and-crap Stereophonics sang something similar a few years later, but I wasn’t listening. This is, of course, irrelevant.
Because the topic today is that of (brace yourselves, homophobes), ladyboys.
Katoeys. Chicks with Dicks. Cocks in Frocks.
Venuses with Penises (© BBB).
Call them what you will - some love them, whilst others hate them. But everybody seems to have an opinion.
One of the biggest worries of most Bangkok Virgins is whether they’ll be able to tell whether that cute chick fluttering her eyelashes in the bar is biologically female or not. It’s easy enough to tell in Nana Plaza’s four ladyboy bars - they’re all genetically dudes, and what’s more - they all have dicks. But elsewhere, it’s not always so straightforward.
Most straight guys would be horrified to discover that their Bangkok Belle comes with a bell-end, but at least they’d know. Experience and the usual tell-tale signs (big hands, strong jaw, adam’s apple, deep voice, five-o-clock shadow and a bulge in the groin department) can usually filter out most of the impersonators.
But I defy any of you not to find Poy Threechada, pictured right (click for big), at least slightly confusing.
In short, there’s always the chance one might slip through the net. Especially if “she” is a post-op. What does a post-op mangina look like anyway? Anyone ever seen one? Just how would you know for sure if it’s the real thing?
As a public service, and to satisfy my own curiosity, I decided to find out.
Full Disclosure
First things first, where to look? As mentioned, Nana Plaza’s four dedicated ladyboy gogos exclusively feature she-males of the pre-op variety. They’ve all got knobs. So they were a non-starter.
The Crown Group bars are dotted with young ladies of the
The thing is though, Nana Plaza just isn’t all that much fun these days. Patpong offers a mixture of post- and pre-op ladyboys, but wouldn’t it be embarrassing if I picked the wrong variety?
Because the problem, not to put too fine a point on it, in conducting a mission of this manner is disclosure. Asking a suspicious-looking girl whether she is a dude is not very diplomatic. Especially if she isn’t. Asking her whether she still has her tackle is just plain rude.
Instead, I hit Soi Cowboy, where I know for a fact that Mr LED Lighting, head of the Midnite group of bars, is famously unfussy when it comes to the gender of the “talent” he hires for his gaudy fleshpots.
In the first bar, two of the four “girls” performing the stage show were clearly ladyboys. I tugged at the sleeve of a passing mamasan, and asked her how many ladyboys worked in the bar, in total. I figured she’d probably lie, and claim that they were all girls. I hate it when they do that.
“How many ladyboys here?”
“No ladyboy. All lady. 100%. For sure”.
“That figures. Predictable really, I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place”.
“You buy me dink?”
“No, because you are lying scum”.
And so on, etc. Disclosure. Argh.
Anyway, I eventually identified my target. I explained, over a delightful brace of Tiger beers, that I was fully aware of her gender “issues”. And that I would like to pay the barfine, and treat her to a short stay in that luxurious boutique residence on Soi Asoke; Asoke Place Short Time Rooms.
Where, I continued, I would like to examine your fanny.
(Note to Americans: “fanny”, in this case, is the English English slang word for vagina, as opposed to the American English slang word for bottom).
No sex. No photos. No funny business. I just want to see your fanny. I’ll pay.
It felt strangely like being twelve years old again, for some reason…
The Mutilated Spectre Of A Penis
Deal done, the walk of shame was only slightly spoilt by the angry yells of a (very female) gogo dancer of my acquaintance - a regular freebie, in fact - who happened to spot me striding purposefully down the soi with a katoey. I suspect that a vacancy has opened up in my harem. Contact me using the link at the top of the page if you’re Asian, genetically female, and interested.
To the subject in hand, or rather, at arm’s length, it didn’t look much like a fanny to me - and I should know, I’ve seen loads of them.
Instead, it looked like someone had taken a pair of pliers to a penis, and turned bits of it inside-out. I can still see it, every time I close my eyes. Ugh.
Assuming that this one was fairly typical of its ilk (and I will assume so, because I have no desire to examine any more of them), I can confidently say that if I ever accidentally end up with a ladyboy in my bed, I’ll soon figure it out when her knickers come off.
And if we need another rhyming phrase to describe our trans-gendered pals of the post-operative variety, may I humbly offer “bitches with stitches”? Thanks.
Oh man, bitches with stiches is THE new term now hahahahah, it's about time you lived up to the dark side of your duties as well, you make it sound so hard sometimes hahahahah.
View all comments by Xao
Post-ops are absolutely no fun. Get yourself a real one, sexy, feminine, small round breasts and a smooth dick. You know you want to.
No sex. No photos. No funny business, of course.
View all comments by BabaBobo
I'm not particularly homophobic, but I am seriously katoey-phobic. Great blog. Incredible sacrifice for your art.
View all comments by werewolf
OK, call me a "racist" or my absolute fukcin' fave - multi-culturally phobic but
I find the whole idea of cutting one's penis off revolting.
Just shows you how far a Thai man is willing to go to avoid work.
I have this feeling that a lot of these dipshits aren't even gay.
It's just about laziness, narcissism and extreme body-mods . . . all to avoid doing an honest day's work. . . and they'll suck dick to prove it.
What can a lady-boy or a mutilated male prostitute do for you that a woman cannot? Except ass fukc you???
View all comments by Prufrock
haha.. so you got her naked, checked it out and then what? just told her to leave? are we supposed to believe you didn't at least put the theory that lb's give better bj's than real girls to the test?
View all comments by anonzo
Where's Pants when we need him? The homophobes, the chortlers (yt incl.) and the inarticulate bravardees are a tad over represented on these ladybody threads.
Anyway, much has been said in recent weeks about the decline of Nana Plaza, but I reckon if you dive into Obsession or Cascade with a few (ahem) stiffeners inside you and an open mind, you'll find a lively bar, and be guaranteed as good an hour or two of happy mayhem as anywhere in the complex. This doesn't mean getting six blowjobs in the toilets or getting scammed for 25 'lady'drinks, but I honestly find them a pretty articulate and amusing bunch of
ladspeople. Very straightforward certainly and open to talking about all sorts of surprising stuff.That said, Casanova is still pretty fcuking scary.
View all comments by Combover
@Prufrock: I too shudder at the thought. You don't want to see what it looks like.
To be fair though, it's a surgical procedure performed all over the world. Globally, those on whom it's performed can't all be lazy, and they're certainly not all Thai.
We do seem to have a huge number of them in Thailand though, certainly compared to any Western nation. Does the "lazy dipshit" stance explain the discrepancy?
To play Devil's Advocate though, what can a female prostitute do for you that a ladyboy can't? Except pussy-fuck you?
@anonzo: I had a bet that someone would ask me that question within the first five comments.
You'll be relieved (or disappointed) to hear that I popped into Lolita's before embarking on my mission, just to ensure I wouldn't succumb to his/her (wo)manly charms. I needn't have worried.
@Combover: Pants Elk was last seen shouting "Geronimo!" whilst streaking along the corridors of Sukhumvit One Plaza at break-neck speed, presumably heading for the closing-down sale at Guess Bar (that whole complex closes at the end of the month).
Regarding the Plaza's LB bars, lively is certainly one word for them. Some of the employees are definitely more articulate and erudite than their female counterparts, and if you can find one who's willing to chat over a drink without hassling or groping you then you can certainly learn a little about the bizarre world they seem to inhabit. Usually though, they're just way too pushy for my liking…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
These people do not do these for fun. They were born that way. Imagine yourself waking up one day in a woman's body. You would want to try and become back a man physically as well.
You guys should really try a ladyboy. I mean, go with one which attracts you and just let lose. This is Thailand after all. Let go whatever social barriers and the principles you were brought up on for once. Maybe you would enjoy it, who knows?
View all comments by ps
I try to wake up every day in a woman's body.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@ Combover "This doesn't mean getting six blowjobs in the toilets" - thats the only reason i go to an LB bar
I've nailed prob between 5-10 pre-op LBs and had more noshes then iv had wet bathes, but never nailed a post-op. The few quims i have seen look like size 10 horse-collars
@BBB if i paid you 5000baht would you let an LB lick your cherries?
View all comments by Penfold
You are a brave brave man BBB, the things that you do for us here are amazing lol,, geezz I hope I never find out the hard way
View all comments by Adzadel
i thought the whole point of lady boys was to shag em up the grinner…. So why bother whats hanging or not on the other side?
View all comments by MSB
@BBB also how much did you pay him……. her…….. fuck this is confusing
View all comments by Penfold
Poy T. can fool me anyday
View all comments by hanuman
Brave work BBB…… how about 'de-todgered rodgerers' ?
View all comments by Cowboy Old Hand
Does anyone know how i could (re)contact the current ladyboy owner of the Guess when the bar closes at the end of the month? Last time we met, i didn't take her number. Nor do i remember her name. Anyone who's been there will know who i mean. I'll be back in Bkk in February. Thanks.
View all comments by Sam
ah yea i guess it was a bit of a predictable question, but nonetheless unasked. Nothing like the word ladyboy in a post to get a spike in hits and 20 plus comments, eh?!
View all comments by anonzo
@penfold: Fortunately I'm not yet that desperate. Ask me again in a couple of years, when I'm sat with a begging bowl on Soi 4
@COH: Ooh, I like that one!
@Sam: I'm pretty sure they'll relocate, they're easily the most successful bar in the complex.
@anonzo: Not really - my most popular/commented posts (see the front page) don't mention ladyboys at all.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
*yuk* really makes me just want to cruise the massage parlors, during my week there
View all comments by BangkokNoob
Cracking post ………. I've never laughed so much !! I'm currently in Pattaya and trying my best to avoid what you so patently 'enjoyed' as described above. You must review some of the places here. I thought I've got loads of issues but this place is just fucking mental !!
View all comments by Mobster
Check out my book of portraits of “The Katoeys of Nana”. 120 pages, one nicely printed color photo per page, 8×10 inches, hardcover.
http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/33053
They are all rather interesting in their own gay boy/girlie way.
And some are down right beautiful (they work at it so hard).
View all comments by ArtTv
Wow,
A friend recently fell in love with a KT. He is no longer sure if he is Arthur or Martha. Seems that the problems he will face going forward are outside his comprehension. From my prospective why bother? It is doomed to end in disaster. Previously showed zero interest in Males.
My biggest problem has been avoiding falling in love with the ladies in the MPs. By thinking of them as numbers rather than Names helps. How do the rest of you cope? However, I did mete one recently and this survival technique is struggling. Can't seem to get the picture out of my mind despite many years of FF (frequent fucking) in BKK. Help
View all comments by Subtle
If you're going to fall in love, make sure it's with someone who refuses to accept your money. Otherwise, it's not love - merely shopping.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@sam guess bar is moving to soi 4, taking over a bar which is in the Rajah Hotel complex. It's opening on Dec 1st.
I was in Obsession a few days ago and after a load had come to inspect my pecker one gorgeous looking one sat next to me.
She showed me her pussy. A post op. I thought they were all pre-op in there.
It was a bloody good job I tell you, because I looked like the real thing.
I've never done a post-op before, but I am tempted to give that one a go next time I am in Bangkok.
They are depraved and I love it.
View all comments by paul c
Thats wierd, I thought they don't have post ops there.
View all comments by ps
Likewise. Well folks, you learn something new every day.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
i bummed one of them into the middle of next week
she sported a cock like a boxers arm
i thought the rule was nana = cocks, silom = mix
@cocks in frocks?
View all comments by Penfold
@BBB you didnt say how much u paid for a flash?
Last time i paid for a 'flash' of minge i paid a bag of jellytots and some football cards
View all comments by Penfold
@Sam - 'owner' is called Jay and she has a 'twin' LB sister who works there too, think her name is Jane i think?
How bummed (probably literally) would the parents be if they are real twins who both turned into LBs?
Jay has got some mug sponsor/husband/ATM/all of the above to finance it all…….. im sure they're very much in love
View all comments by Penfold
I have to hand it to you penfold. I enjoy your slightly deranged comments, and utterly respect that you are happy to sign your myspace profile and photo to them, but…
…does your Mum know what you're up to? No concerns about employers now and in the future…?
View all comments by Combover
Of course she knows - not too pleased her money was funding it - but she soon came round bless her
View all comments by Penfold
@paul c and @penfold: thank you both
View all comments by Sam
Penfold if I ever see you in one of these establishments, I'll get the ale in for you. Always like to hear some humour from the old country.
"Jay has got some mug sponsor/husband/ATM/all of the above to finance it all…….. im sure they're very much in love"
That explains the almost daily updates at a LB forum on the goings on at guess.
I was in Guess last friday.
There were only about 5 LBs in there at the time (rest were barfined). Two were fondling a Benny Hill lookalike.
Marvellous place.
View all comments by paul c
dikes on bikes blokes with spokes, or whatever you want to call them, born men is more accurate. and i am trapped in a female body , i am gay someone help me
pretty looking gorgeous ass great tits. wake up, there men. would you fuck a bloke back home….no you wouldnt.! so why are you curious now. mmmmm!
knock yourselves out gentlemen, i will stick with what i was born to fuck , and simple as that,! i dont need to see a visual,,,as i am simply not interested.
View all comments by eloelo
*chuckles knowingly*
View all comments by Pants Elk
Of all the suffering suffered by BBB for our greater good, this must
surely be among the greater. paul c's comment has me slightly
worried again, though.
As for lazyness … An aquintaince of mine has a son, 12 year old,
in school, and already a ladyboy, so surly there's more to it.
Gf seems to think it's more to do with that thai people don't
like gay, but ladyboy is ok, while farangland has lots of gays,
due to it not having ladyboys. Could be something in that.
View all comments by awk
@combover: in an internet cafe off Soi 1.
Thing about ladyboys, see, is they's jes plain folks under thet body …
You get ones that look like ladies, ones that look like ladyboys, ones that look like blokes in a dress. Takes all sorts. My experience is limited (but still far, far wider than scaredy-cat 3B), but I've had a lot of fun with a couple of them. Not post-ops (I check the "what's the point?" box there, talking of boxes). If you have any issues about it or them or you being gay, of course, you're just going to sit there with your preconceptions, and good luck to you. Have fun, as I'm sure you do, judging something (and someone) you've never done and feeling righteous for it. You probably feel more strongly about it than I do. Having a great time with ladyboys (two) didn't make me want to bed guys, or even bed more ladyboys. I was lucky once, got an absolute stunner, not tall, not big-handed or deep-voiced, none of that stuff, just drop-dead gorgeous, shapely, delicate, fun, and possessed of a dick. The other time I was totally overwhelmed by fabulous sex-monsters in Cascades (I think?) or Casanova or somewhere I can't even remember. I mean, so what? You're in Bangkok, nobody knows who you are and even less than nobody gives a fuck what you think about anything (especially me, if that's any consolation).
And frankly, I find the "way to go, Badboy!" response to what amounted to a schoolkid's playground act (you show me yours first!) a little OTT. Until he, uh, bites the bullet, I consider him naught but a slippered pantaloon, a mere saloon-bar pontificator.
The Thais are pretty smart about this whole gay/inbetween/straight thing. Sex is a mood, and having it with a ladyboy just means you were in that mood at the time, and absolutely nothing about your sexual orientation (a matter of real indifference to them anyway), and all that matters is you had sanuuk, and if you did, good for you.
View all comments by Pants Elk
My first lb was a post-op. A very good job aswell. Looked a lot better than many tarts snatches i've seen, neat and trim. Obviously a good fake pussy is only as good as the doctor who created them. My only problem was it smelt of KY Jelly and tasted sterile.
View all comments by twerp
I'm really starting to get worried…
I'm going on holidays to Thailand in the next week and i would certainly refuse to go with a LB… Unless i was fooled… But that comment of BBB saying that generally the mamasans never say when there's a lady boy working for them leaves me rather uncomfortable…
To sum up, is there any way we can (with total certainty) see if we are dealing with a ladyboy or not?
In case of a negative answer, is there any flawless way to convince them to tell us if they are really women or men…?
View all comments by Copycat
@ Pants Elk: …"You're in Bangkok, nobody knows who you are and even less than nobody gives a fuck what you think about anything (especially me, if that's any consolation)…"
Is this true? Or is this true just for us Farangs? I mean, outside the gogo bar and pay-for-pleasure scene? I don't see Thais kissing in the street. Holding hands sometimes, but that's about it. Some Thai girls i've met assure me that Thai females are quite conservative, worried about losing face, what their neighbors thinks, etc. I have gone to some of these girls homes, and you often see a Buddha shrine, either in a corner or even in a separate room.
I see that you live in Thailand, so what do you reckon?
View all comments by Sam
@awk: That's an interesting hypothesis. No idea myself.
@Pants: You're just jealous. Of what, I'm not quite sure. Beers tomorrow, ok?
@twerp: I've tasted a few (mostly of the farang variety) that I wish had tasted merely of KY…
@Copycat: Sure. Take a blood sample and have it analysed for chromosome differences. Or take a good look at the hoy, as I did. Although from the above comments, it appears that I saw a particularly poor example of the craft. Don't tell me I've got to do that again…
@Sam: Pants’ point is, I think, anonymity. He doesn’t live here (quite). So he’s remarkably unlikely to run into anyone he knows as anything more than a passing acquaintance, and therefore couldn’t give a flying fuck.
With regards to Thai vs farang behaviour in public, you’re absolutely right.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
The idea someone up there had that getting your dick sheared is a fast-track to Easy Street for the lazy Thai guy is so far wide of the mark it's hilarious. See, your average rice-watching Somchai is perfectly happy to stay the way he is, especially while his sister is sending money back home to his mother's, where he still lives. To think that anyone would do it for financial reasons is just daft. There's always an edge of desperation for the ladyboy - it may be a life while you're young and, er, buff, but the market for middleaged and, yikes, elderly ladyboys is pretty slim. So they're looking for a husband. Some of them make it, the really gorgeous ones (like the one I knew - now in a "married" relationship with an extremely rich guy), and others just kind of fade away into either bitterness or acceptance, going home to do the accounts in the back of the shop or whatever.
If you're really worried that you're going to be fooled into taking a ladyboy, ask yourself this; what did you find attractive about them in the first place? My guess is, femininity. If you're fooled, either you want to be (and hey, nothing wrong with that) or they are really good at what they do (pleasing guys like you) and you might even benefit from a little experience you won't get at home. But I wouldn't make an issue about it either way. It's like all sex in Bangkok; enjoyable, sometimes wild, available, and ultimately No Big Deal.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Nice Pants Elk, well said.
View all comments by ps
I've seen them with a perfect looking snatch.
View all comments by Khun J
Hi Pants: A few nice, long, closely worded, well-reasoned posts there on ladyboys.
Deep impassioned advocacy verging on the political.
View all comments by Prufrock
paul c - I thought Guess was closing down around Halloween. Is it still operating?
View all comments by ArtTv
I read it was closing december 1, then re opening near rajak hotel.
Am yet to venture into Guess, hope im not dissapointed. If i dont get simueltaneously plated and blown (tromboned) in the toilet after investing in a thimble of cola for my troubles i shall not be returning in a hurry. I shall take my soggy, poo smeared, slightly vinegary smelling money baht elsewhere
View all comments by Penfold
On the rhyming phrases front, I have been beaten:
"Chaps with Flaps" (© Pants Elk).
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
As coincidence would have it, after parting from 3B last night (always putting the bite on you for a drink or a free meal, that guy - it's worse than dating a Suk St. amputee) I hied into the Guess Bar for a second look (telling manly 3B I was going to a rugger match and then shag loads of women), the first having been pretty horrible (couple of sourfaced stick-monsters scowling at me from a couch) and - jimminy! - I'm glad I did. The girls were pretty bloody fantastic. Maybe I was lucky, and they'd been flown in for that night only, but it was a riot. Two of them (including one page three-style stunnah - "pert Britney (22) likes nothing better than to get her todger out for the lads") were pretty much raping me on the couch - behind a modest wall of cushions - before I could ask directions to the Kingdom Hall - my reason for entering the establishment. I barfined the stunnah, simultaneously downing a 120 baht Jim Beam, and did the Walk of Shame (tenting my codpiece in a way which drew spontaneous applause from the citizenry) back to the salubrious Dysentry Inn, separatingly strategically outside the NEP in case The Whore Of My Dreams saw me.
The dear, sweet young thing proved an agreeable after-supper companion. Her conversation was lively, her mastery of the pianoforte impressive, and her manners a delight. And she wore black vinyl underwear. And, rather sportingly, agreed to my preferred restraint (leather belt around the wrists behind the back, up around the neck - perfect for carry-outs). Result! Yes, all this savage perversity rather goes against the caring, new-agey character I was building, but I know she had at least as much fun as I did, and got paid for having it. So in a way, I like to think I was reducing my carbon footprint and doing my bit for global wealth redistribution.
So, Chaps-with-Flaps fans, if you're up for a bit of pre-op larkery, check out the Guess Bar, you may just get lucky.
A little later, I picked up a sexworker visibly bewitched by the Beer Fairy from the Parade of the Freaks, unable to resist her "500-baht-do-what-you-want offer", and enjoyed yet more refined conversation in the privacy of my by now fragrant boudoir.
Amazing Thailand!
View all comments by Pants Elk
Ha ha,, Well done Pants,, sounds like it was a night to remember,,
View all comments by Adzadel
@ Panties: That first "she" had a penis (one of those "smooth" penises referenced earlier by another lady-boy fan?) Did the second "she" have a penis as well?
Canadian gays have insinuated themselves into every multi-cultural event and debate since Toronto's early 80's Gay Pride parades. Politicians were less loathe to fund them as a "multi-cultural phenomenon" Now like hicktown homos with rented cars at a sales convention, they pursue the gays, waving special grants and other affirmative action incentives.
So, multi-culturally speaking, was last night just an innocent binge of folk-dancing :-)
View all comments by Prufrock
Prufers, the first was in no way bereft in the dick department, but this only "smooth" in comparison with, say, an elephant's trunk (which is next on the to-do list); the second, gratifyingly, came equipped with a tight and self-lubricating cavity that, with a bit of stretching, proved adequate to the task, although I sense I rearranged some of her internal organs in the process.
I don't think you've done Bangkok until you've carried a drunken whore across your hotel lobby. Call me a hopeless romantic, but the gesture was a Kodak moment treasured by staff and clientele alike.
View all comments by Pants Elk
PS Just off to Thermae .. see you there!
View all comments by Pants Elk
once the panties cum down it doesn't matter what's there,close your eyes and pull his/her head down and you'll probably get the best bj in the world!!
View all comments by beenthere'78
@pants elk "PS Just off to Thermae .. see you there!"
Do give us a report on the place.
Full of Japs and girls wanting their yen no doubt
View all comments by paul c
the 2 times i ever went thermae i wasnt overwhelmed by japs
is it a recent influx?
i was wondering what determines that this is a jap hangout? its not overly expensive like rainbow and baccara if i remember right. how they market the place as a japathon?
View all comments by Penfold
@ ArtTv, as you can see Pants Elk was in the establishment, so it's still operating.
It will close down at the end of the month at the present location. The new location will open December 1st.
View all comments by paul c
The Thermae is still cheap for drinks.
I was there last week and it seemed even more Japcentric than when I was there in September.
All freelancers, not a go-go (maybe you are confusing it with somewhere else?).
Maybe there is a Jap version of BBB that has a good review of the place and the news has travelled.
View all comments by paul c
When I went there last year it looked like I stepped into the Japanese embassy with all the freelancers lining up to get a visa and ignoring everything white. Most of the Japs carry little books with all kind of information. Maybe a Japanese version of the Lonely Planet sexguide.
View all comments by hanuman
Excellent report. I think BBB’s next research assignment should be to bang a 50+ year old mamasan. Are they really more skilled? Some of us want to know, but we don’t want to have to bang an old mamasan to find out.
View all comments by gavinmac
Can we have the Thermae comments over here, guys? It's a nightmare trying to keep all this organised
@gavinmac: No chance.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Copycat answer to you question their is only 1 way of checking for a ladyboy and that is bending the elbow backwards men cannot do but ladies can make a slight arch shape it was told to me in confidence by a Big Dog veteran so not tell anybody especially that C*** BBB.
View all comments by Kinnieow
Not heard that one before.
What does C*** stand for?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Just jest BBB. Great site now try your elbow.
View all comments by Kinnieow
There is truly nothing more unedifying than an aging ladyboy with a receding hairline.
There is just one such example in Kings Castle 2. I had one drink the other night before being compelled to leave. It was sh!t anyway, but I was finding the balding katoey mamasan so utterly repugnant I was forced to rush for the door and call it a night.
View all comments by Combover
@combover - at least u wouldnt have to worry bout getting her pregnant
View all comments by Penfold
I think shagging Francis Rossi would be beyond even you Penners.
View all comments by Combover
@ Combover - had to Google Francis Rossi - bit before my time.
Dunno what your talking about anyway i have fucked fat worse for less
View all comments by Penfold
RE: KhunJ's "I've seen them with a perfect looking snatch" Let's not forget that poor village boy with only his pen-knife and the burning desire to release his inner woman.
BBB, perhaps your treat was one of those "ban noc" do-it-yourself-ers.
View all comments by Prufrock
Some more on the rhyming phrases front … for some reason, some
spambot or something on irc out of the blue just messaged me
what I at first thought was the usual spam, but casting a second glance on it, apperently not.
The quality of these are not up to the Pants Elk standard,
but slightly amusing nonetheless.
sluts with sausage
/ dolls with balls / babes with boners / women with wangs / chicks with dicks /
moms with meat / playmates with prostates / debbies with dongs / heroines with hard-ons /
dykes with dinks /
bitches with beef / wives with weiners / whores with more / widows with woodies
/ tricks with tripods / nieces with nuts / females with foreskin / bimbos with bones / princesses with penises /
nuns with knobs / s
kanks with scrotums / gals with gadgets / skirts with schlongs / sisters with sn
akes / broads with rods / tramps with testes / cunts with cocks / wenches with wee-wees / girls with gonads /
nannies with nights
ticks / pinays with pipes / shrews with salami / chicas with chubbies / harpies
with helmets / dominatrixes with dipsticks / succubuses with sacks / maidens with members / bachlorettes with bishops / goddesses with goliaths / hoochies with hoses
/ vixens with vipers / foxes with fucksticks / actresses with anacondas / dames with ding-dongs / mistresses with manginas / tarts with tools / hotties with hammers / femmes with footlongs / prostitutes with pogosticks
View all comments by awk
Back when I was a wet-behind-the-ears Bad Boy, I was entirely new to the concept of ladyboys and once, on a trip to Amsterdam, had excellent sessions with a number of them at the urging of my (as it turned out) much more switched-on mates who thought it would be hilarious to see me dabble with the dark side of the Force (they are such wags! :-))
I honestly could not tell any difference (probably down to a combination of excellent surgery and natural skill on the part of my charming companion).
In the final analysis, I was (and still am) secure in my masculinity; I had spent a little money and had a lot of fun in return, so couldn't have cared less.
Now that I have been around a bit; know the score and am a full-on Bad Boy, looking back I have to say that on those few occasions when I went with them, I have had more fun with the LB's than I have sometimes had with ladies proper.
For example, I have never encountered a ladyboy who was a total starfish in bed, but have encountered a (thankfully) small number of these amongst the bargirl sisterhood (perhaps ladyboys are less lazy and try harder to please in bed since they, possibly, don't get taken quite so often and so are pitching for future repeat business from their, hopefully, satisfied customer).
Whilst I fully agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion (regardless of whether it be based on personal experience or irrational prejudice), I can't agree with anyone who speaks badly of LB's as a breed since my own experiences have been overwhelmingly positive.
I choose to live by simple rules.
I recognise only two types on people in my World: "nice people" and "nasty people".
I like "nice people" and I hate "nasty people" and it's been my experience that nice and nasty come in all shapes; sizes; nationalities; sexualities and genders.
Indeed, one of the most beautiful; nicest and most genuine people I have ever have ever met in my entire life was a ladyboy I met over here.
We had great fun together, she and I, and are still good friends to this day.
To dismiss a fellow human being out of hand based on an irrevocable life choice which she has been brave enough to make is unjust, in my opinion, and those who do so should, perhaps, take some time to think about the matter a little deeper.
At the end of the day, as we say in my circle, "it's down to the conscience of the individual churchgoer" but, in my view, a man's not really a man until he's been at it hammer and tongs with a ladyboy.
View all comments by Neil
@neil. thats an interesting concept,that a man is not a man untill he has gone hammer and tongs with a ladyboy.!i guess there is a lot of soldiers turning in there grave at that one . my view being that they fought the good fight and lost there lives so we could enjoy our freedoms. i just think that somehow they wouldnt see it your way, and after all were they not men , would you lay your life on the line for the right to sleep with ladyboys. i dont think so.!there are a lot of dead men lying in the ground all around the world. and i must admit a very large number of men still alive who would simply view your comment as more than laughable if that was the requirement that made them men.
View all comments by eloelo
@eloeho….Lighten up, willya! That wasn't the focus of my piece and well you know it. so have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up!
View all comments by Neil
@neil. i am lighter than you might realise,and i dont drink coke, i know it wasnt the central piece of your masterpiece,it was merely a ridiculous statement that i commented on.i smile everyday and as for shut the fuck up, i dont think so. if you like though ,i could send you 50 cents and you could call the office of affirmative action.
View all comments by eloelo
@eloelo. Nicely parried, sir! If I wore a cap, I would doff it at this point. LOL.
View all comments by Neil
@its all good mate, most in jest we should have a few beers and a laugh
View all comments by eloelo
Will you two just get a room fer crissakes?
View all comments by Pants Elk
@Pants Elk. I'm not that kind of girl.
View all comments by Neil