A Gogo Dancer, yesterday
A decent article from Stickman this week raised some good points, and coincided with an email from a friend lamenting how the “bar scene” has deteriorated over the years. Stick wrote:
Guys used to come to Thailand for what is often termed ‘the girlfriend experience’, where a lady of the night would treat them much the same, or sometimes even better, than a girlfriend would. But many complain that this has changed, and some say that the girlfriend experience may not even exist any more.
In my experience, although I wasn’t here in the good old days, this is largely true. That said, when one does come across a diamond in the rough, we really do appreciate it. Well, I do, anyway.
The Good
Generally speaking, when I bring new girls back to my place, I expect to complete the dirty deed of darkness, hand over the filthy lucre, and then watch her scurry out into the night as she’s still lacing up those gogo boots (yes, they can take them out of the bar). The bare minimum, in other words.
So there’s nothing quite like the pleasant surprise of finding out that actually they’d like to stay the night, no extra charge, and will in fact cheerfully do the washing up, sweep the floor, and in some extreme cases even clean the toilet. Not to mention the second round in the morning.
I’ve had a couple of Angelwitch gogo girls, for example, leave without even asking for money. When I tried to pay them next time round, they told me to forget about it. So pleasant surprises can certainly still be had, but I’m quite prepared to believe that it’s nowhere near as prevalent as it was in the past.
The Bad
In one of the Rainbow bars this week, I bought a lady-drink for a dazzlingly beautiful young girl. She took one sip, then told me she needed to “go talk with my friend”. She wandered off and sat in the lap of a wealthy-looking fat farang on the other side of the stage. Then went and chatted to her mates at the bar. She somehow managed to summon the audacity to be offended that I didn’t want to take her home after that.
So yeah, a lot of the attitudes suck. The key is to actually get to know the girls a little in the bar. Speaking a little Thai really helps, but isn’t always necessary. After a few bad experiences, you learn how to pick up on the good or bad vibes. It can be frustrating when you realise that the stunner in your lap is probably going to be useless in bed, but I’d rather save myself an unpleasant experience, never mind the fee of (usually) more than ฿2,000, and avoid the frustration of actually experiencing how bad she is in bed.
A friend had the right idea recently, when chatting up a freelancer. She was really enthusiastic about the prospect of going home with him, until he asked how many times she wanted to have sex. She turned her nose up and said “just once, of course, then go home”. Bzzt. Next, please.
The Ugly
Apropos of nothing, has anyone else seen the comedy ladyboy wandering around lower Sukhumvit recently? It really is just a bloke in a dress. Horrific.
The Massage Option
Stickman goes on to suggest that the soapy massage joints of Ratchada and Petchburi are the solution. Priced far more reasonably than most gogo girls, and with none of the deceit or lies. All true. But for me, it’s rather too clinical an experience. It’s not much of a social vibe, either.
Let’s think about the pricing for a moment. You can still find gogo girls happy to go with you for ฿1,000. Usually, they’re desperate, but sometimes they’re just really keen. Most of them will expect ฿1,500 though, and the crème de la crème will demand ฿2,000. Add on the barfine - occasionally ฿500 but usually ฿600 (or a lot more if she’s a “showgirl”), and then consider the expense of either a short-time hotel or the inevitable “taxi money” charge if you take her home.
Oh, and the drinks. Not just hers, but yours as well. So that ฿1,500 shag just went up to ฿2,900 when you add on a ฿600 barfine, two drinks each at a conservative ฿125 each, and ฿300 for the short-time room.
Compare that to the “all-in” price of, for example, ฿1,500 at Annie’s, or ฿1,300 - ฿1,800 at Bangkok Cosy, and there’s only one winner - on the price front, at least.
As a postscript, Stick (still talking about Nana Plaza girls) also reckons that “typically the most attractive girls want at least 3,000 baht for short time”. I’ve never been asked for more than ฿2,000 - but perhaps Stick’s advancing years may play a part in this one 
Anyway. Gogo bars or massage parlours? Your call.
My biggest disapointments have come from go-go girls. Turning LT into ST with excuses like I leave phone at bar and friend need key and, like your recent experience, buying her a drink and then a minute later shes on the other side of the bar with another guys hand on her ass. Paying twice as much for less just doesnt go down well with me. Most go-gos Ive been in are poorly managed if at all, they need to keep these hoes in line.
A recent experience I had was at Betty boup go-go Pattaya who now have the Butch Tom boy manageing that was working at Angelwitch. Im sitting with a girl talking and have bought her a drink and this dike keeps walking by my table saying "short time" and then standing with her arms crossed stareing at me like shes trying to pressure me to take the girl upstairs. "What? why the fuck you keep stareing at me? " She walks away and goes behind the bar but still eyeballing me. I was gonna bang the girl but butch put me off the place for good.
As far as beer bar girls go I would say the GF experience is very much alive, but thats from a pattaya mongers point of view.
keep up the good work BB
cheers, Superdave
View all comments by superdave
Both are worse.
GoGo bars AND massage parlours have gone downhill in the last couple of years.
I'm thinking the girl behind the counter at C-Mart would probably put more energy into it. How about chatting up one of the girls who does the tourism survey on Sukhumvit? Or go to a disco that isn't full of free-lancers (just regular office-worker girls). Or one of the girls from work (if you happen to be working in Thailand). Anybody, except a ho.
It seems to me like the professionals now are getting too mercenary. Their bad attitude is turning people off and could use some adjusting.
You might have to go with the amateurs to get that girl-friend experience again.
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
The bars are quiet these days.
The reason? Not fun any longer.
Bad attitudes, poor service, high prices.
Avoid the Bangkok bars.
They don't deserve your hard earned cash.
View all comments by Mr Robert
@Superdave: Yes! I think we can agree that many, if not most, of the gogo girls are purely mercenary whores. I hate pushy staff, but it’s become the norm rather than the exception. Cute surprises can certainly be found in the Bangkok beer bars, although I can’t speak for Pattaya.
@Kwai: Disco reviews coming. I had a heavy night. Shagging the staff at work is rarely a good idea in any country. The problem with amateurs is that I generally have to wait too long to get my end away. I’ve been exposed to instant gratification, it’s here, and I like it.
@Robert: The bars are indeed quiet - it was a quiet high season, and it’s a quiet low season. I think you’re right - between ludicrous prices and piss-poor service, they’ve only themselves to blame - for the most part.
This is actually an area where Patpong comes into its own. Beers are no more than ฿100 a bottle all night, and in some places they’re even less. Compare a ฿60 Tiger in Thigh Bar to the same drink for ฿135 in eg. Angelwitch or G-Spot, or ฿140 in Playskool or Sheba’s. The problem with massage girls, of course, is that you can’t take them back to your place. This is a reasonably important thing to do when striking up the (casual, obviously) sexual relationships (gik) which have replaced the “love affair” in my social repertoire.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
1500 ST for a non-Japhunting 8-9/10 seemed to be the going rate in the Rainbow bars the other week. Low season perhaps, or just my good looks & charm?
View all comments by Combover
I've lamented before on the fact that I unfortunately seem to have the same taste in women as the Japanese.
There is, of course, a not-so-subtle difference between asking a girl how much she charges, and asking a girl whether she will accept a certain price.
That said, I'm sure you are indeed a "hansum man" - why else would the girls keep telling you that?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
My worst experiences have been with the likes of Champagne Lounge. Talk about lousy attitudes and lousy performances… although the girls were stunning without exception. There is something deeply irritating about what's being offered not matching what's being promised!Oh, and thanks for reminding me how awful is Stickman's writing - ponderous, boring, and only unintentionally funny. I stopped reading his column long time ago.
View all comments by Julian
BBB - its better that you have the same taste in women as the Japs rather than having a bar girl who likes japs also like you.
Japs are well known as the 4-4-4 boys…
…. 4 inches, 4 mins 4 thousand baht.
View all comments by MSB
'Ponderous' describes that site perfectly, though the word 'lumpen' also popped into my head when I read it.
View all comments by Combover
I went in to Hootys showgirls go-go pattaya for my second time this particular evening after makeing my rounds looking for the nights barfine. With about 80 go-gos in pattaya you would think finding a (new) shagmate for the evening would be a snap but it just isnt so. A large porportion of these girls have no business working in a go-go.
I had just left club Boeche, a place where ive always found myself trying to have a good-time but come away disapointed. I had heard good things about this go-go and it being one of the first to introduce the hot tub show it should have a fun atmosphere. But for me the large number of thai men working in the bar kills the fun factor and seems each time Im in theres someone protesting about thier check-bin. Back to Hootys.
On my first venture into this go-go earlier in the evening I had started flirting and chatting to a service girl while I looked over the dancers useing her as a human shield you might say to keep away any pre-emptive strike by a girl not of my chooseing. She ended up being the mama-san and I bought her a drink and picked out one of the dancers and had a good chat with her, though they were being a bit pushy for more drinks. After my disapointing tour of go-gos I returned with the intention of takeing the dancer for the evening. They were excited to see me return as I was about the only customer in the joint and I bought mama and the dancer a drink and then set about establishing terms. Mama-san was giving her unwanted input by saying 2000 LT but since I was the only punter the dancer says 1500 ok but dont tell mama-san. After they had sucked down thier ladydrinks in record time my dancer says I have to go do somthing, ok. She goes to the dressing room, then mama starts ringing the bell non-stop and the girls on the stage sqaut down and grab ashtrays and start banging them on the tables, then my dancer comes out naked and runs a few laps around the stage then over to the bar and does a short prayer in front of the budda shrine then goes back to the dressing room. Was this some kind of bargirl mojo they were trying to put on me? Then she returns and mamas there and they want another round of drinks. Ok one more round then Ill barfine her and then back to the room. The drinks are just arriveing when I say Im going to the toilet. A quick piss and Im back but the drinks are gone and they are rubbing thier throats and asking for more. Right there the mood was ruined for me, check bin!, no Im not barfineing you and all my change went into my pocket, no tip. I know that it seems Im being a bit to picky or I get mad to easy but its because I can act like that here. I have several hot girls number on my phone who will beckon the call for 1000bht LT and never disapoint. BBB this topic just strikes a nerve inside me. It should be so easy to have a good time in these places but most of the time it just isnt so.
View all comments by superdave
"Right there the mood was ruined for me, check bin!,"
Glad you voted with your feet.
Guess its's not good enough to patronize the bar…. spend a few baht, buy some drinks…. they have to screw over the Farang to feel better.
Fuck those people. They have no respect for the customer.
I hope the place goes broke and the staff end up begging the streets.
View all comments by Mr Robert
Thai society revolves around respect.
Treating customers like crap is really saying somthing about their true feeling toward the farang.I used to spend quit a bit of time and money in the bars but no longer can take the bad attitudes. They won't be getting my cash.
High season was slow and slow season is slower.
The word is getting out about Thailand and the disrespectfull attitudes.
View all comments by Freddy
'The word is getting out about Thailand and the disrespectfull attitudes.'
What utter nonsense. I've travelled to over seventy countries, and it is still way near the top for manners, graciousness and warm welcome. A few sex tourists getting stiffed for drinks in Sukhumvit & Pattaya doesn't really count IMHO, especially when you consider the tolerance shown by the Thais to the behaviours of some of us.
View all comments by Combover
I would never stay in a bar if i was the only customer. What's the point??
Seems like Hootys will be finished soon anyway if thats all the biz they are going.
This running naked around the bar thing happens at least once in almost all bars. Suspose to bring good luck so they ususally do it early in the evening. But is kinda strange the first time you see it.
View all comments by MSB
Oh no! Criticism of Club Boesche. I wonder what that leads too?
View all comments by Wombat
Whew. I do take the piss out of Stickman every now and then, but to be fair there's a huge amount of information on his website - there's more to it than the weekly column and the dull swathes of ramblings by those myriad souls furiously scribbling away under the misguided belief that they're even vaguely interesting. Ahem.
@Julian: Haven't been to Champagne Lounge, because everyone I asked told me exactly what you said.
@superdave: I don't do Pattaya, but your tale could easily have happened in Bangkok.
Most bars do suck. The exceptions though, can be truly exceptional. That's why we're still here, right?
@Combover: Thailand, and more to the point Bangkok, still has a lot going for it. Bangkok is still incredibly safe compared to the alternatives. Yes you can get ripped off, but the good thing about getting ripped off in Thailand is that it's unlikely to cost you much in real terms. Standards are certainly slipping in terms of service and value, but it's all relative. It's still a damn sight better than anything on offer in Scunthorpe.
At the end of the day, it depends what you're looking for. If you want cheap sex, go to Phnom Penh and get it for a fraction of the price. But don't tread on any agent orange mutants on your way in, look out for armed gangsters, and make damn sure you bag up. Oh, and watch out for the hand grenades…
Phnom Penh can be fun though. I really should write up last year's trip there. Or maybe take another one…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
If all gogo girls look like the monster in your picture I'm glad I've never been to thailand. Or did you mistakenly put a picture of a katooey ?
View all comments by BassFace
I guess I just need to remember to ask if the girl thinks "tham nueng klang diaow dee gwaa law" when I suggest coming back to my place for the night. Great expectations lead to great disappointments….
View all comments by The Heckler
And for the non-Thai speakers, you'd be asking the girl whether she thinks that it would be best to just do it once.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Fuck, I managed to pull a 1000b short time from Fantasia a few nights ago with one of the all-time biggest fluke bargaining manouevres
Her: "2000 baht"
Me: "1000?"
Her: "Alright"
If I'd known what a spectacular deal I'd accidentally gotten I would have been even more excited by the whole process. Though to be honest with tip after a top performance it did push 1500.
View all comments by Traveller
@Traveller: Yeah, some girls will still happy accept one thousand if they think it's all they're going to get. At bars like the god-awful Fantasia, I'm not surprised to hear that bargains are available! Don't forget to add the barfine and the drinks bill (and short-time room bill if you used one) to the price though.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy