The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

I got up early on Friday because I could not sleep but I decided to make the best of the morning. I wanted to head over to the Esplanade Bangkok to check the place out and see if the first McCafe in Thailand would have breakfast. I knew it was a long shot but I had to try. I also figured I could catch the new Transformers movie and see if I should check out the Inch Club later. Much to do. I got on the underground and headed for the Thailand Cultural Center stop. I love taking mass transit in the morning whilst in Bangkok because it is always full of good looking birds. Just can’t beat the views. For the Esplanade take exit 3.

I headed right over to the new Mc Cafe because when searching for breakfast I know I have to get there before 10:30 am. Like it mattered. Of course they did not have breakfast. It is basically a normal McDonald’s with a heavy emphasis on coffee, pastries and a cafe like setting. Freaking waste of space. Was so bummed out. I went over to Coffee World to have some coffee and waffles. The waffles were terrible but I wanted something resembling breakfast. BTW this Coffee World had free wifi and appears to be the only spot in the Esplanade with free wifi.

After breakfast I grabbed a ticket for the Transformers. I forget the movie prices but they appear to be the standard rates and the movie theater is nice but is still ironing out the kinks. The music system was messed up but the sound during the movie was fine. It had to be the coldest theater I have sat in for a movie in Thailand though. I was freezing. The movie was great though. Not the brainiest plot on the planet and I don’t get how movies can invest so much in special effects but can’t seem to budget for technical continuity. Air Force One appeared to be housing a mainframe that looked nothing like a mainframe and all the hacking techniques bordered on downright silly but the robots themselves were stunning and made up for the rest of the film’s shortcomings. Check it out.

I cruised around the mall but was not seriously impressed given that it is not entirely finished and most of the stores are the same ones you see in every Thai mall. There were a few exceptions with the likes of a Paul Frank store that was yet to open and there was a small watch shop on the Mezzanine level called Chrono Watch Mania that carries genuine Tokyo Flash Watches - the first I have seen in Thailand. Other than that there is really no special draw unless you happen to be in the area. It is very close to an underground stop so that makes the place convenient. There is also a California Fitness which I plan on trying out to see what the hottie quotient is.

The other thing I will mention is that the Esplanade has one floor almost dedicated to brand name mobile phone shops. Sony Ericsson, Samsung, Nokia and Motorola are represented and I think LG but not sure. I just don’t get the appeal of these stores since they take up a ton of space, don’t have many accessories and they don’t provide warranty or repair service. I popped into the Sony store to see what they had and I was pretty let down by the selection. I have been wanting a bluetooth headset jack and they did not have one. They did not have the memory cards because the memory cards are made by Sony - not Sony Ericsson. How silly is that since the Sony Ericsson phones can only use the Sony cards anyway so one would think the Sony Ericsson phone shop could stock them. When I asked about service they directed me to the Sony Ericsson service center but they did not have any maps for it. To top it all off they have a dedicated PC setup for phones that will put the freshest build of the software on. I tried it and the computer would not recognize my phone. Some Windows USB driver issue. Pathetic. One would think they could build a dedicated kiosk that would actually work. The store was basically a waste of time.

To Inch Club. Inch Club is located behind the Esplanade and is well hidden until you actually walk around the backside of the Esplanade. It is a typical massive Thai super club. Although the website tries to portray it as something special, I can’t say that it is. I was interested in it because of the website that described a cool cocktail bar, some good techno music and a separate hip hop room. I am not a huge fan off overly loud modern hip hop so I tend to gravitate to places with other than hip hop options. So when we got to Inch, somewhat early to get a table, I asked for the Techno room. The girl said their is no techno room - only hip hop and a live band. Bummer. Seems the club has forgone trying to be interesting and has stayed to the tried and true Bkk model. One room with a live band and another room with hip hop so loud the service staff can’t hear your order. The so called cocktail bar had bartenders but no customers which made it a pretty boring place to hang.

The bottle prices were quite fair though with a bottle of Jack and initial mixers coming in under 2000 baht. Mixer refills were fairly reasonable as well. Service was good but I thought the DJ sucked. The live music room was the busiest and looked like fun but the music was fairly standard. I must say there were tons of women though and they all were pretty hot but mostly unapproachable. Why? Like all big Thai clubs people tend to stay in a group and since there is no real dance floor there is no pickup area. Since the music is always too loud there really is no way to meet anyone other than the tables around you or staying until they close the club to try and pick up on the way out. Believe me, there were tons of girls I would have loved to meet but just no decent way in which to connect. Not saying it is impossible but not easy. I think this is my major beef about Bkk clubbing. There are no great super clubs that provide an atmosphere in which to meet people. Places like Bed and Q are okay but generally it is the same Sukhumvit crowd with Thai girls who are always around Farangs. In places like Inch you can just tell girls are different but not as easy to meet. The real issue with most Thai venues is the music is so loud that it makes it hard to talk or chat with random birds.

So Inch is nothing special and I can’t really suggest having a night out there unless you have a posse to go with or have a girl to go out with. The prices are reasonable but I would say the music is nothing special at all. The place seems to lack a cohesive management objective since the club they portray online is nothing like what the place is like in person.

On exiting the place, quite early in search of something better, we saw a wispy Thai guy arguing with his little Thai girlfriend while his hand was around her neck. She slapped him and then he slapped her back. Just as we felt like we should do something, the security guard threw him out. These Thai guys have so much class. No wonder why the Thai girls are so open to meeting Farang guys because although we may not be perfect - I just don’t think we slap around the girls the way these Thai guys do on a daily basis.

After Inch we headed to Glow. Glow is where I met a girl and Glow is close to Cowboy. It is a nice way of setting yourself up close to Cowboy in case the night gets boring without having to head to Cowboy right away. Kind of an excuse bar of sorts. I am not sure why Glow never gets busy. It is a cool looking bar, great selection of booze, cute bartenders, cute dancers and an easy place to get to but it just never really picks up. So it is never a good place to go if one hopes to meet girls. However they do have a ladies night and I plan on checking it out soon. A few in Glow and then off to Cowboy - of course.

Cowboy was hopping with the Suzie Wong show as good as always but the most fun was had in Dollhouse. No tops and no undie girls cavorting on our laps. Awesome. Rawhide had a dancer contest with most of the A team and B team competing in mostly naked shows. All good. However it does get old buying the A team girls a drink and they disappear a few sips in. Doubt I will do that anymore.

After closing down Cowboy we hit Spicy on Rong Muang. It was rammed. We could barely get a table but managed to share a table with 3 cuties. Within moments of joining them some Japanese guy came over and handed one of them some cash. She handed it to her friend who counted it and then 2 of the girls left. The last girl stayed, who my friend took home, but later the other 2 reappeared after taking care of business. Spicy can be all business at times but yet on some nights you might meet nice office or uni girls. Love it. Spicy appears to still be the king of after hours.

This is what I love about Bangkok. You can traverse a day where one can go to a high end mall, catch a new flick, go to a mid-so Thai club, then go to a Farang club, then see some tits and eventually end up at an all night disco with people from all of the aforementioned groups mingling on a huge dance floor until the sun comes up. Amazing Bangkok.

The exploration continues. My friend and I have a goal of getting to more places not normally Farang oriented to find new throngs of girls and closing the non-bar girl types. It is not as easy and many times I strikeout but Bangkok is full of pinch hitters and the game is half the fun. Winsdor club was rocking the other night. More on that soon and my theories on the Thai versus Farang scene. Stay tuned.