The Telephone Manner

A Thai cellphone, yesterday
A Thai cellphone, yesterday

Ask any of Thailand’s old-timer farangs what’s been responsible for the biggest changes in the scene over the past decade or so, and the answer will usually be the same. Cellphones.

Every time a Thai girl hooks up with a farang, a yippon or even another Thai, if they’re suitably impressed then the exchange of cellphone numbers is inevitable.

Obviously there are huge advantages (and disadvantages) on both sides, but there’s no denying the massive impact that the cellphone revolution has had here in Bangkok.

But by golly, they have no manners at all.

I’ve seen girls taking calls while dancing onstage in gogo bars. I’ve had one answer the phone while we were having sex - my reaction was, of course, to quicken and harden the pace, so that Somchai (or whoever) knew precisely what she was up to.

Recently, the crazy gik has finally found someone to make an honest woman of her. Looks like she’s off to Norway with her new beau. I’ll miss her admirable enthusiasm for horizontal jogging, but I was never going to make her my girlfriend, and was always honest with her on that front.

Still, she could have let me down a little more gently. Here’s the SMS I received:

Nex week my boyfriend come and nex month we go to norway together sorry and bye never see you again

Did I just win the utterly unsubtle dumping by text message crown for 2007?

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22 Responses to “The Telephone Manner”


  1. 1 JJ May 23rd, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    Well about the answere the mobile while having sex, I had sex a few nights ago and she lighted a cigarett while I was doing her.
    View all comments by JJ

  2. 2 Bangkok Bad Boy May 23rd, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    Reminds me of the old joke:

    Q. What do you do if your girl starts smoking during sex?

    A. Slow down, and perhaps apply some lube…
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

  3. 3 Calvin May 23rd, 2007 at 10:22 pm

    Oh, don’t you worry - she’ll be back. And when she comes back, you’ll be one of the first she calls. But, by all means, don’t save yourself for her !!! You sound terribly upset by the news - I suggest you go out and try to have fun with some of the beautiful women in the bars. It may sound difficult but I’m sure you’ll meet a beauty you can take back to your room :)
    Cell phones can be a curse - but it also makes it very easy to get a number / stay in touch / text when you are not near a computer. And I think you handled the phone call during sex the correct way.
    View all comments by Calvin

  4. 4 Bangkok Bad Boy May 23rd, 2007 at 10:28 pm

    I’m not terribly upset - it’s freed up a speed-dial on my phone, so the interview process begins once more. She was one of the better ones, but yes, there are millions more just a taxi ride away. I just thought it was amazingly badly handled…
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

  5. 5 meister May 24th, 2007 at 6:13 am

    It’s a tough life BBB,i sn’t it!
    View all comments by meister

  6. 6 NotAnyBangkokRelatedWebsite.com May 24th, 2007 at 9:43 am

    I believe the delightful young lady I pm’ed you about is still available, I’m sure she’d appreciate the attention (evil grin).
    View all comments by NotAnyBangkokRelatedWebsite.com

  7. 7 MSB May 24th, 2007 at 11:33 am

    Thai’s find it incredibly hard to adapt to a foreing country. She will be back, especially when she realises how fucking cold Norway winters get…
    View all comments by MSB

  8. 8 humpbk May 24th, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    My girl seems to like the vibrating phone in bed. Lucky me
    View all comments by humpbk

  9. 9 Bangkok Bad Boy May 24th, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    @meister: certainly is!

    @NABRW.com: I don’t do white chicks.

    @MSB: Oh, I’m sure. But living in Bangkok, I’m not used to waiting!

    @humpbk: Nice. Make sure she wipes it down afterwards.
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

  10. 10 humpbk May 24th, 2007 at 12:23 pm

    Need to get one of those old school big ones. You know like the brick
    View all comments by humpbk

  11. 11 Wombat May 24th, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    At least she told you. I’ve got the worlds smallest violin & it is playing just for you.
    View all comments by Wombat

  12. 12 Ma May 24th, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    Wombat, you sure that’s a violin in your hand?
    View all comments by Ma

  13. 13 The Heckler May 24th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

    There is something strangely enticing about plowing deeper and further when your girl is on the phone. It’s happened to me several times.

    Once with a bargirl who was trying to converse with her friend who she left behind at the disco (no pity, just the pedal to the metal). The other time was when this office girl came over for an after work shag and her father called (not wanting to delve too deep into the mess of my own mind, I’m still at a loss as to why her speaking with her father made me lose control and bust my nut prematurely).

    Anyways, being the consumate bachelor, I always advise that being single and unfettered is better. But the grass over there looks damn green too…
    View all comments by The Heckler

  14. 14 Bangkok Bad Boy May 24th, 2007 at 9:02 pm

    @Wombat: I can feel the love from here. Thanks, man.

    @Heckler: That is simultaneously deeply worrying and hilarious…
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

  15. 15 Wombat May 25th, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    Ma

    I’m positive it is a violin. While the size difference may well be inconsequential there is no confusing the shape.
    View all comments by Wombat

  16. 16 Pants Elk May 25th, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    I don’t think your bg taking a call while you’re fucking her is necessarily a bad thing, but if she starts making a call while you’re on the job, then it’s probably time to reassess her commitment. And your performance.
    View all comments by Pants Elk

  17. 17 soi4rulz May 26th, 2007 at 10:51 am

    BKBB,

    Not sure you sould expect much from an uneducated Thai whore. You made it clear you’d never be serious about her, so what did she owe you, really? Lucky you got the text by way of her explaining, as opposed to her just disappearing. She made a smart business decision.

    An old Costa Rica hand gave me some wise words while sitting at the rail at the Hotel Presidente in San Jose as we watched a never-ending parade of pros stroll by: “If you find one you really like, just don’t make the mistake of thinking they actually give a shit about you.”
    View all comments by soi4rulz

  18. 18 soi4rulz May 26th, 2007 at 10:52 am

    That idiot Brittany dumped hubby K-Fed via text, so it seems you got “Speared.”
    View all comments by soi4rulz

  19. 19 Bangkok Bad Boy May 26th, 2007 at 11:12 am

    @Pants: Fortunately I haven’t had to cope with that scenario yet!

    @soi4: It was the structure of the text that amused me, rather than the scenario itself. Your Costa Rica pal hit the nail on the head. It’s no big deal - I just found it amusing that it was the most unsubtle dumping I think I’ve ever received.
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

  20. 20 Ma May 27th, 2007 at 9:22 am

    Hey BBB, maybe your feelers got hurt. I’m sure, as your posts rants, you are the one that does the dumpings. Was this your first where you were the ‘dumpee’?
    View all comments by Ma

  21. 21 Bangkok Bad Boy May 27th, 2007 at 12:19 pm

    @Ma: Not at all. Like I said, amused rather than hurt.
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

  22. 22 Ma May 27th, 2007 at 9:57 pm

    BBB, Sorry I guess I need to read between the lines a little better. Must be my old age eyesight getting the best of me these days…:-)
    View all comments by Ma

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