I recently took a sideways look at Nana Plaza after almost a year of coverage. Today I’m doing the same for Soi Cowboy.
I’ll come right out now and happily admit that Soi Cowboy is my favourite of the big three farang gogo areas. It has less hassle than Patpong, the rules about what can and cannot be shown are far more liberal than at NEP, and whilst it’s not as cheap as Patpong, it is slightly cheaper than Nana Plaza.
But far more importantly, the girls just seem to be that little bit more fun than elsewhere. Perhaps it’s just me, but the girls in Nana and Patpong often seem to look bored. On Bangkok’s busy Soi Cowboy, I always seem to see just a few more smiles.
Baccara #1
I still can’t see past Baccara as the best bar on the soi. If you don’t get there early, you won’t be able to find a seat - such is its popularity. With so many Japanese customers, you’d expect a certain bias - as in Nana Plaza’s Rainbow bars. Maybe I’ve been lucky, but I’ve yet to see any evidence of this. Every girl I’ve shown any interest in Baccara has come bounding over, enthusiastic and delightful.
It’s not cheap, but I have no problem in paying for quality. My problem is when I find myself paying over the odds for mediocrity, and there’s none of that here. With the addition of the shows over the past twelve months, Baccara is even better, and my choice for the best bar on the soi, if not in Bangkok - or even Thailand.
Playskool Pete’s Pasties
I’m still confused by this. Suzie Wong and Sheba’s (and the currently renovating Apache) have some really cute girls between them, in addition to surely the best show in Bangkok, if not Thailand in Suzie Wong’s lesbian show.
So if explicit all-nude lesbian sex is okay at showtime, why on earth do the girls have to wear those accursed nipple-stars the rest of the time? When several bars feature all-nude dancing, I really don’t see the logic here. These bars have the highest drinks prices on the Soi, so surely any police issues can afford to be taken care of? There weren’t any pasties in sight a year ago, so definitely a downhill move here.
These days, I head into Suzie Wong just before the show and leave just after the show. Why sit and admire girls who can’t show it off, when there are so many places with far more on offer? The show, however, still utterly rocks and should not be missed.
A Fannyfull of Flowers
Long Gun, and to a lesser extent Rawhide are the full-on show bars in this neck of the woods. Long Gun is always packed, a la Baccara, but at least the seats in Baccara are comfortable. Long Gun could really do with refurbishing, but with the amount of cash they must be bringing in all year round, I guess closing the bar must be the last thing on their minds.
Long Gun still has the Patpong-style shows for those who like that sort of thing, alongside some very attractive dancers (who can actually dance), and a rather mixed line-up of regular gogo girls. Rawhide has more in the way of themed shows - the stripping University girls is most people’s favourite.
Rawhide also seems to have a “team” hierarchy going on. The “A-Team” are drop-dead gorgeous, the B-Team are okay, but as we go down the rankings towards Z, there are some girls who really have no business taking their clothes off anywhere I might see them.
Cactus seems to be affiliated with Long Gun and Rawhide, although I’m not sure to what extent. I’ve definitely had drinks bills with a “Long Gun” logo on them in Cactus. Cactus is a very different experience, with less in the way of shows, and again a very mixed bag in terms of girls. From big-boobed teenagers to sagging ladies well past their sell-by date, they’re all here and they’re all naked.
A special shout for Cactus John, the cigar-toting manager and one of the most amusing bar owners I’ve met in Thailand. He’s an awesome chef too, and is famed for his habit of bringing out free bowls of delicious chilli at the least likely of moments. Yum.
Whilst all three bars are a little run-down (to say the least), they’re all well worth visiting, although nothing much has changed over the past twelve months apart from the fixtures and fittings becoming slightly more dilapidated.
Arabian Nights
Our man “The Arab” is now the proud owner of Spice Girls, Midnite, Deja Vu, and most recently Our Place. Deja Vu was his third and latest gogo bar this time twelve months ago - he now has five. So he’s certainly doing okay over the year, but how are his bars?
Well, as at Spanky’s, the bar he just built at Nana Plaza, there’s nothing wrong with any of the bars in terms of fixtures, fittings or even drinks prices. Where he falls down is in the attractiveness of the girls present. Perhaps increasing the salaries would entice more alluring girls?
There are a few hotties to be found in these bars, as there are anywhere, but he’s not going to be taking on the big guns until he’s competing on level terms on the beauty front - and that’s still quite a way off.
The Shark Production Line
I don’t know how they’re doing it, but they’re definitely doing it, and they show no signs of stopping anytime soon. Shark seems to be an endless production line of cute girls, and with the barfine still (as far as I know) set at a bargain ฿500, I can’t rave enough about this place.
The girls don’t get naked, or even topless, but their sheer flimsy tops don’t leave much to the imagination. Highly recommended.
Wanking. Why?
I visited Jungle Jim’s with a couple of friends recently - we fought our way in, took three barstools, and were positively swarmed by the natives. “Don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes”, I suggested.
It’s an intriguing business model - irritate the customer into a semi-coma, at which point he won’t have the energy to refuse the endless begging for drinks? I just don’t get it. If I’m on Soi Cowboy with sexual success in mind, I really don’t want the climax to come into the mucky spooge-stained paws of a hand-job hag. Have some ambition, people.
You’ll be expected to buy drinks for at least two girls, in return for which they’ll grope your manhood, immediately slurp down the drinks, then beg you for refills. Drinks bills into the thousands are not uncommon. You can get an expert BJ in Lolita’s or the Star of Light for ฿700. Someone explain the appeal of this to me, please.
Afterskool is a slightly different prospect, in that you can indeed get sucked off in the bar. Some of the cuter girls aren’t always willing to do so though, and technique is hit-and-miss. There’s no fixed price, but a couple of tequilas and ฿500 seems about right.
Everything Else
Tilac is cheap, and does have a couple of hot girls if you get there before anyone else. But who’s actually running the place? I was in there last week, where I found myself watching the gruesome open-heart surgery being shown on a TV in the bar rather than the horrors on stage. And there doesn’t seem to be a light in the toilet.
The Dollhouse has some cute girls, but most of them seem to take great pleasure from acting like dickheads. Buy a girl a drink, and watch her take it over to her pals in the corner, leaving you with the bill. That’s assuming you can actually get her attention. Service is beyond slow, and approaching glacial.
Five Star has its fans, but I’ve never seen a cute girl in there. Readers tell me I’ve just been unlucky, so I’ll be down there to check it out again soon. People do rave about the house band, but I’m not so keen:
My only real criteria for live music is that the musicians should be more proficient than I am. Not difficult to satisfy in London, Liverpool or even Llandudno. But here in Bangkok, there really are some god-awful musicians.
Anyone who’s wandered around lower Sukhumvit after-hours and come across the gangs of four or five Thai guitarists murdering Wonderwall (all playing different interpretations, often in different keys) will know what I’m talking about. Soi Cowboy’s live bands are little better.
The beer bars are the same fare you get anywhere, and ever gogo I haven’t mentioned on the Soi sucks. Discuss.
I like Bacarra but i dont like the french cunt who owns it. Being french is a negative to start with, and being the cunt being french hates all english speaking people of the world and only kisses up to the asian customers. I was in there a few weeks ago with an a chinese buisnessman and the chink dropped 30k in an hour (drinks and no sex) so not surprising.
I’ve also been getting a freebie from a bird who works there for the last few months and she told me that when the boss fucked her, he made her fist him. The fact that he’s french made me believe her. She also had to fuck a couple of cops (the boss paid) but she had no choice. So there’s a reason why the bar makes big money. I met the cunt a few weeks ago and shook his hand. I felt a bit dirty afterwards and went for a soapy to cleanse myself.
View all comments by Poo
Ah, cheap racist idiots. What would Bangkok be without them?
A hint, “Poo” - it’s not because the manager’s French, and it’s not because the other customer’s Japanese. It’s because you’re not as important as the other guy. He spends more in a night than you make in a month. If it was your bar, who would you be taking better care of?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
just to confirm, i am a poorly paid english teacher. that’s why my english is so fucking shite. i am 28 years old, an ex builder from bolton, with a degree from khao san, who lives in a 28sqm concrete box that spends whats left of the 35k a month i earn stuffing and being bought dinner by fat old people’s young tarts. Yes one day the tables will turn, but now i get snatch for nought. wicked.
View all comments by Poo
but beer is never free
View all comments by Poo
so what is bkbb doing online at 1am? he with a tart? me, I just got back from a shrimp fishing contest where i didn’t catch one fucking shrimp.
View all comments by Poo
i’ve got no friends and i’m lonely
View all comments by Poo
What time’s the show at Suzie Wong? I don’t get down to Cowboy that much and I’ve never managed to catch it.
View all comments by Guy Dow
And I agree about the seating in Long Gun. Unless you can get one of the stools at the stage, it’s bloody uncomfortable.
View all comments by Guy Dow
The times for the shows in Cowboy are neatly arranged:
9 pm Rawhide
10:30 to Midnight Suzie Wongs runs the show 2 - 3 times
Midnight Five Star
View all comments by werewolf
Its great to be stuck in the heavy rains on Soi Cowboy. You just slip into a gogo club that has a decent stage show, grab a drink and a teelok, and watch the show. The rain discourages many new customers, so it feels like time is standing still, and you are in a secluded little hideaway.
ArtTv
http://nanajournals.blogspot.com/
View all comments by ArtTv
Just to add a bit of variety to your site, any chance you could one day review bars in and around Sukhumvit that do NOT have hookers working in them?
View all comments by MSB
Possibly, but don’t hold your breath. That is rather the point of the website.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
“Bars in and around Sukhumvit that do NOT have hookers working in them.”
There’s an interesting concept. Are there any? Let’s extend the hooker-free requirement to massage parlors, hairdressers, 7-Elevens, fast-food outlets, and (for all I know) Indian tailors …
Going to be a very short review, I think.
View all comments by Pants Elk
I agree it would be off topic.
But i only recently looked through your archives and you have a “pubs” and “restaurants” section but both only contain Gulliers, which arguably should not be in either!
After a year of hitting the town you must have eaten or drunk somewhere that did have women for sale?
You write well and i like your style. Just wish you could expand the scope a bit.
View all comments by MSB
ops… i mean “did not have women for sale”
My bad.
View all comments by MSB
Heh, Gulliver’s is technically a pub I think, and they do serve food - after a fashion.
I could certainly mention a lot of pubs and restaurants, but for every appreciative comment from the likes of yourself, I would expect a chorus of dissatisfaction from the majority who want to read about the bargirls!
As a starter though, and just for you, the best English breakfast in Bangkok can be found at the Black Swan Pub at Asoke, the Duke of Wellington is a chilled Silom pub with 85 baht pints of Tiger and no faux-Irish “music”, and the Witch’s Tavern pub on Thong Lo does terrific pizza and a gargantuan burger.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
MSB perhaps you could do a review yourself and publish in a “Krungthep Good Guy” blog?
View all comments by KTBanker
“Bangkok Better-Behaved Boy”?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
The idea of Bangkok Bad Boy diverting his attention to consider non P4P places is quite frankly…perverted.
Also, BBB would you care to confirm Werewolf’s observations about showtimes ( he said “10:30 to Midnight Suzie Wongs runs the show 2 - 3 times”)? I am particularly interested in the lezzer shows at Sheba’s and Suzy W’s and I assume that there are none of these types of shows at the other bars. Given the prices at these bars I am not keen to sit there drinking from 8pm - 2am just to ensure that I don’t miss the shows.
As for AfterSkool, on a recent visit I was surrounded by 4 girls who were manhandling me and I agreed to buy them all drinks. I said that two could have colas and the other two tequilas but they ‘misinterpreted’ the order and I ended up paying for 4 tequilas and 4 colas. All 4 took me to the naughty boy corner where two offered to give me a BJ for 500B each.
Strangely enough being fondled by 4 different females (3 of whom were not attractive) was not wildly exciting - instead it was a bit suffocating and in this case less would have definitely been more. The girls who did the oral honours only carried it out for approximately 30 seconds each and they perfected the ‘hollow mouth’ technique so that they could perform it without me touching the insides of their mouths - in fact I had to look down a couple of times just to double check that they were still doing it. One girl gave me a HJ to finish, with the others caressing my upper body. She raised and pressed her knee against my stomach to maintain distance between us - to ensure that there was no chance of me coming on her - whilst holding a tissue in her other hand (which was a little bit off putting).
I decided to give up and put myself away whereupon one of the girls announced in a loud voice that I had come and marched off to get the bill, not looking or even caring if I had. I was 2000 baht lighter as a result of the experience. When I went back to my seat two of the girls came to sit beside me. One of the girls commented that I did not look happy however that did not stop her one minute later asking me to buy her and her friend some more lady drinks.
View all comments by Mike Phillips
Yes technically Gulliers is a pub…
…..but i would suggest that most customers go there for the hookers not the hamburgers…
View all comments by MSB
@Mike: Agreed. You paid 2,000 baht for crap service, when you could have had a 2-girl BJ at the Star of Light for 1,400 baht - and that would probably have been one of the best experiences of your life. I do not understand why people go to the Cowboy wank bars…
@MSB: Gullivers burgers vs Gullivers hookers - neither are particularly appealing, are they? Not sure which ones I’d rather shag, to be honest.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
One is low quality meat, past its sell by date, that is tarted up to look edible but will not cost too much and finish in a couple of mins…
The other is a burger…..
View all comments by MSB
There are some good girls in Afterskool, but I don’t know if it is really worth fighting off the hordes to get to them. Better looking, better BJs but still major drink whores so it never is cheap.
5 star now has a9:30 pm show! Same as the late night one though minus the milky lesbo action so might as well wait for the late show.
Lesbian shows at suzies at about 11pm this week. They seem to cycle the order somewhat.
View all comments by Cabby
@MSB: good one!
@Cabby: You are now officially the Soi Cowboy showtime expert. I’m going to make you a badge. Thanks!
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
@BBB - I like the Cowboy wank bars…call me crazy but I like the pure seediness of the places. It does help to be drunk when you go in and you need to be firm with the girls with respect to LDs or else it can get expensive
Fanny’s is far and away one of the seediest…I love it!!
View all comments by KTBanker
Well, I tried the Spice Club as "pick up location" recently and have to say - GREAT. The ladies were easy going. Just entered the club and went direct to a table with 3 nice girls and what should I say - the competition begun. All 3 were open minded and joyful. I spend some drink, danced a lot with the ladies and finally choosed my favorite. I spend a gorgeous night and morning with her. I had so much fun - great location.
View all comments by tom
went to see the lesbian show in shebas and it was awesome - 4 girls doing there thing and 3 of them were 10/10ers
never been suzies before
might have to check it out 2nite
is it lesbo every night or just weekends?
View all comments by Stevie G
Shebas and Suzie Wongs (almost opposite each other in Cowboy) have the same owner, and the same lesbian shows at least two times every night in each bar with the same girls. Agreed these are hot shows (perhaps the best you can see in Bangkok right now), but if you think any of the girls in them are 10/10s then you need to get around in Bangkok a lot more.
I took a bi gf to see the Suzie Wong show a couple of months ago. Arranged to take out the best looking girl we saw, who we had just seen with her tongue in two other girls pussies and assholes. When we got back to my room, she tells us she is 'not really into girls' and that it is all an act. Major disappointment….
With another friend there recently, and I told him the show must be well rehearsed 'cos the girls are constantly moving in sync into new positions without communicating, to which he replied that they must be 'speaking in tongues'….
View all comments by Mochalover
Ah, amazing Thailand. The men have the best tits, and the most accomplished lesbians are straight…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
maybe they had new blood in there since last time (i dont know when u went last) but 3 of them were stunning looking. are the lesbians the ones that walk outside in the white kimonos?
View all comments by Stevie G
Stevie G: I go to Shebas or Suzies regularly, and the girls in the shows have not changed much for a long time. Maybe we just have different scales. I have probably only ever seen a handful of 10s in the life, it is not a score I give out readily. There are many 10s in Bangkok, but none of them anywhere near Cowboy, (or Patpong, or Soi 33, or Nana for that matter) let alone doing the lesbian shows! I'd only give a few dancers in the Bangkok g-clubs a 10, and practically every girl in the g-club scene is better looking than anything in the farangland parts of the city.
But anything over a 7 is a good looking girl - and Bangkok is full to the rim with those…..
View all comments by Mochalover
different strokes for different folks i guess, although i did go in there after a long chang session so granted, my judgement might of been impared, i will be sure to check it out again when im in better mental shape. there was 1 i remember with a funky haircut with highlights that definately caught my fancy think i might have to invest - i shall keep you posted. you dont know her do u?
View all comments by Stevie G
I was in the mood for something different tonight so I thought I'd visit some of the smaller bars that I'd either never been to, or had long forgotten. I made a quick trip through Afterskool but wasn't in the mood, so I headed into the Cocktail Club. If I've ever been there before I don't remember it. Tonight I was impressed!
Most of the girls were fresh faced, with clear skin & bright eyes and generally slender figures. They looked low-mileage… soft innocent faces and a general lack of tattoos.
The worst things I could say would be that more than half of them were extremely flat chested, but still sexy, the energy level was so low that it generally didn't even reach the heights of the "BKK shuffle", and there was a 'C' team of older, fatter girls with stretch marks who hit the stage on the third cycle (each cycle = 3 songs) reinforcing the notion that it is the same management as Rawhide.
There were a couple of genuine hotties here, but it's basically good fishin for those looking for the younger, fresher dancer.
Anyone who wants to find some relatively "innocent" bar girls should check out Cocktail Club. A bottle of Heineken was 125 baht… a lot for a small go go bar.
I then popped into Cactus Club. I think this was my first-ever venture inside. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the girls onstage were wearing only shoes, and all the girls off the stage were wearing only shoes and knickers.
Overall they weren't the most beautiful bunch, but it's amazing how much better they seem to look running around with nothing on. Two or three good looking girls. The rest average or below, but nothing hideous on offer that would make you grimace and run. If you want to see a lot of flesh, this is a good bet. 115 baht for a heineken.
For a change of pace both clubs were worth a look, with the cocktail club the clear winner.
View all comments by werewolf
Talking about hj's and bj's…
I have had hj's and bj's in 2 "regular" bars, Joy Bar and Cowboy II.
I visited Joy Bar a couple of times in 2006 and always got much attention from Aon and Ploy (Aon is so so; Ploy was a pretty girl but unfortunately doesn't work there any more). Every time I visited Joy Bar Aon and Ploy took out my friend and gave me a hj. One time Ploy also gave me a bbj.
In Cowboy II I once I had a hj and once a bbj from a pretty woman (Nat, left the bar as well).
View all comments by Ato