The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

Christmas has come and gone. Pretty festive around here. We had many
good friends stop by the Mango to help celebrate. Thanks folks,
what a blast. Some pics from our Christmas Party:

I had a few ex-pat friends that journeyed home for the holidays. One
thing I noticed with all of them is how depressed they were. Dread
would be an understatement. Who can blame them. They are all going back
to freezing temperatures and probably won’t get laid until they return.
They tried being optimistic about it and mentioned going to see live
sporting events, eating home cooked meals, and watching fresh TV
programming but inside they were crying like a Baboon seeing his bald
red ass for the first time. Hang in there guys. Have a Happy Holidays
and I’ll make sure to keep your girlfriends here warm for you.

Seriously though, I want to thank everyone for the support in 2006 and
to wish you all a safe and prosperous New Year. Smitty, you da man.

This week:
Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
After Hours Update
Living Vicariously (Reader Submission)
Tales From The Street
Big Mango Bar Update
Upcoming Events (new section for listing events coming up next week)

Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
NEP
Staying open until 2am. Stayed open later on Christmas and Christmas Eve. Open all night for New Year’s Eve. Nothing new to report in the plaza. It’s actually been pretty dead even for the Rainbow’s and Angelwitch. Calm before the storm most likely. Go-Go girls sported red and white for Christmas and had all the holiday one-liner’s you could imagine. “Unwrap me”, etc.

After Hours Update
The Police continue to disrupt the After Hours scene. Tequila Dragon on Suk Soi 7/1 is still your best option when they are open.

Living Vicariously (Reader Submission)
Below is an email from FriendA here in Thailand to FriendB who left Thailand to visit home for the holidays. FriendA wanted to keep FriendB up on current events so he wouldn’t get too homesick. Simply brilliant imho.

“Ink (from Santika) brought over 4 heinekens, 3 baccardis, popcorn and chips last night without me asking. I fell asleep before having sex because she spent 30 minutes in the bathroom getting ready. In the morning she said (before we had sex) “that the last time sex hurt because it lasted so long.” I told her I could speed it up this time and it would not be a problem. I obliged. She seems like she is a keeper.

Got a random phone call last night from unknown number. Called this morning and deduced it was a friend of a girl ‘Nat’ that works at Bar XXX. I don’t know anyone that works at that bar but I know 2 Nat’s, a Nid or Nit, 2 Noi’s, a Nim, 2 Nam’s and a Nick, in addition to many randoms. Not sure who it is, but I am going to try to have sex with her.

Have not called Cee yet.

I called Vampire today through her friends phone as her’s is not working. She called me back from another friends phone at 6:30pm. No mention of night Skoon (editor’s note: Skoon is how some Thai’s pronounce School) tonight. I would like to see her and it is up to me on the date. Once again no mention of Skoon getting in the way. I guesss she can make her own schedule at this point. She also is living with new girls since I met her last week.

I sent an email to my friend about the trip North I made and mentioned that I slept with the hostess at the hotel. I needed to give him an email of the coordinator and I pulled it up through the yahoo address bar. Forgot to erase it so the email went to her also. Good humanitarian effort there.

Other than that I watched 5 episodes of Season 1 of West Wing (Leo McGarry’s daughter is hot) and I think they are making too big of a deal about Rob Lowe sleeping with a Call Girl: I have two good friends that are pimps.

Thailand stock exchanged dropped 15% today and they shut down the exchange. They announced they want to control the Bhat and decrease speculation. To do this they made a ‘rule’ that you can only invest 70% of the money you bring into the country the other 30% has to sit in a bank account. The money also has to be there for a year or else you will get a fine of 33% of the 30% that is in the bank. Market basically collapsed and is now down for the year. India is up 40%. Crazy. I was watching CNBC. The analyst said “They obviosuly learned nothing from the currency collapse a few years ago”. Big surprise.

I have a meeting tomorrow morning at 10:00 with XXX. Had a filling done. That is all I have for now.”

Tales From The Street
- Tale1: Below is a conversation PunterA had with a girl he has been out with a couple of times and that he likes, in regards to her Freelance occupation:
PunterA: “How often are you a working girl in a month?”
FreelancerA: “Not that much usually 2, 3 sometimes 4, but never more than five. I have to pay for room and school”
PunterA: “Do you go with a man everytime you are working?”
FreelancerA: “I tell you the truth and you have to beieve me. EVERY TIME I go out working I go with a man. I am very successful”
PunterA: Internal monologue: “Ouch”
- Quote1: “I can’t believe she chose me over him. He is old and ugly.” - Rude awakening quote from a young and handsome lad who was dusted off by a hot BarGirl for an older gent. He is finding out that in a BarGirl’s eyes the older guys are more attractive. In general, they treat the ladies with respect, have cash and pay more usually, and don’t want to go all night. Sorry younger and better looking guys your looks are sometimes a disadvantage here in bizarro world. Deal with it punks.
- Quote2: “I got my eyes from my mother but my father let me pick my nose” - joke that sounded funnier when I was drunk
- Quote3: “You want sex? Why, is it your Birthday?” - Married guy in Thailand quoting his annoying wife.
- Quote4: BarGirlA sits down on a barstool across from PunterA. She buttons up the top button on her blouse. PunterA confused by the action asks BarGirlA why she buttoned up her blouse. BarGirlA: “I am waiting for you to come over here and unbutton it”. BarGirlA got game.
- Quote5: PunterA asks BarGirlA where she is from. BarGirlA: “I’m from Paradise”. Yes, same BarGirlA from Quote4.
- Quote6: “I have a problem with drinking alcohol, it makes me horny”. and again…BarGirlA from above.

Big Mango Bar Update
- Kitchen Special Of The Week: Gobble Gobble. Turkey with Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, and Mixed Vegetables
- The Perth boys are back in town. Lord protect my liver.
- We sold off the rest of our abandoned case of Budweiser. We purchased it for a guy on his way to Thailand from Iraq who got busted in Dubai and never made it over, so we were stuck with it. Not even a sale on Thanksgiving could get it sold. The kind soul who purchased the rest of the case came into the bar, heard the Dubai tale, and then purchased the remaining 22 bottles. I gave it to him at cost because it was taking up valuable fridge space and I was tired of looking at it. He went on to drink 10 of them and gave away a few on his first night. Still a few left for him to polish off during his next visit. Thanks SA dude. It was the first Bud I had in maybe 10 years. It was cold and tasty. I wouldn’t drink another but the one I had was awesome. Reminded me of the first Bud I ever tasted when I was just a young and aspiring pmmp.
- We are having a White Dress New Year’s Eve party with free food and drink specials. Hope you can make it.

Upcoming Events (new section for listing events coming up next week)
- New Year’s Eve in Bangkok - Bars stay open all night

-pmmp