The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

World Cup 2006 has shifted into high gear. Ever since we got the
English Commentary the bar has been packed with football fans from
around the globe. Before getting the Satellite it was empty for the
games and really sucked watching the games with Thai Commentary and a half-filled bar. Now though it’s a joy. Screaming
fans and loud roars are music to a bar owner’s ears. Unfortunately it
ends soon, bumma. Overall, I still rank the England fans most
enthusiastic although the Aussies (or Skippies a nickname I just
learned about last night) have shown they are getting the bug too. I
guess there is a historical connection (side note: being a Yank, it’s
really interesting hearing the UK version of history versus the Aussies
version. Believe me, it’s not the same) between the two countries so
the love of football must be in the blood. Sorry about the loss to
Italy.

This week:

Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
After Hours Update
Tales From The Streets
Big Mango Bar Update

Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
NEP
- Pretty Lady. I had an annoying experience this week. Some crazy and
stupid dancer thought it would be funny to throw a rose which clocked me in the head after she
held it out for me to smell. My reaction? "Check Bin na krap". I’m sure
she will not be such an ass in the future. I was running up a nice tab
before that and mamasan was disappointed to know why I suddenly asked
for the check, especially when the drink I ordered for the mamasan was
on the way. The look the mamasan gave the go-go joker girl will surely
help avoid this behavior in the future. Other than that, Pretty Lady is fun. Just avoid the rose-carrying girl with the imprint of the mamasan’s shoe on her forehead
- Erotica. Both floors are open now and cranking once again. John got more girls in there and I hope he can maintain
Soi Cowboy
- Jungle Jim’s. Leading off with Jungle Jim’s this week. STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS BAR. What a nightmare. You walk in and are instantly engulfed by five or so creatures from the deep. Worse more is they are scheming, rude, and bomb you with the worse bargirl BS chatter you can hear. When I check bin’d the girls took my 80 baht change and stuffed it in her bra. A very rude and bad way to get a tip. I took it back and left no tip and we got the hell out of there. Really bad experience and I don’t know how they are still in business
- Cactus. I should have lead off on a positive note and talked about Cactus. This place is AWESOME! It’s a half go-go and later in the evening the girls have on nothing but high heels. There are a few girls in there too that are smoking hot. However, I did run into a long time Cactus-goer and he said there is one drawback to the place and some of the girls. During the night you may see one of the aforementioned hotties having her box lunched by some horned up slob. This apparently happens quite often and is a feature of this bar. I wasn’t witness to these happenings during my two visits this week but if I had it would have ruined it for me too. Nonetheless, great place to see
- Baccarat. I am hearing more stories about how the girls have the worse attitudes in any go-go
- 5 Star. Still no sign of my friend’s ex-wife so moved along quickly
- Shark. Amazing talent. Still number one wrt talent on Cowboy
- Sheeba’s. Suffered from the "all the good one’s are gone" syndrome during my visit. This is typical of many go-go’s that have about five or so hotties. Sometimes if you go late you will miss them. A new twist to the "early bird catches the worm" I guess
Suk Soi 33
I did a Soi 33 bar hop this week and was shocked at how bad this Soi has gotten. I jumped around to about six bars and it was all the same lame experience. Average to below average looking bar girls in evening gowns charging high prices for everything. The evening gowns cover everything too so I couldn’t tell what was going on underneath. A sharp contrast to Cactus on Cowboy which I visited later to forget about the 33 girls. Talk about bang for the buck differences. I don’t see going back to 33 for a long time. The only exception is Livingstone’s. The girls aren’t that attractive there but they are fun and the place tries to offer something different, like the pool parties. One more thing, rumor has it that the Office is for sale for gobs of money. Buyer beware as this bar has definitely hit the Q Bar level, meaning it sucks really bad but people still go there in droves. However, these bars generally die if they don’t revitalize. There is also talk that Soi 33 as a whole is in jeopardy of extinction but that seems a bit far-fetched but not too far-fetched given my latest visits
Suk Soi 22
Made a quick visit to Titanium and tried out the Freezer Shot Room for the first time, cool experience. Many attractive girls were working there wearing these cool little Communist uniforms. This is a top notch bar for sure but way too pricey for my tastes. A friend of mine also visited this week when they had the all-girl band playing and raved about the place. Worth a visit but bring plenty of baht

After Hours Update
- Tequila Dragon. My first visit to this after hours dance club on Suk Soi 7/1. It sucked. First off, I could barely find the place. Yes, it’s at the end of the Soi but there was no indication out front that the place was open or that there was a scene upstairs. I asked the bar across the way where Tequila Dragon was and she pointed across the street. I walked through the empty bar and up two flights of stairs to find a really nice club. However, there was no scene. The music was pumping and the bar and bartenders were first rate but the girls that were there mostly worked for the bar and were horrible (in attitude and looks). So, it was me and friend along with about 10 bar girls and 3 girls who were there on their own but were into just dancing drunk with themselves. My friend bought all the bar girls a drink at one point and they barely acknowledged him. It was more of a farang-money-sucking vibe. Bad scene here unless they get rid of the bar girls and attract freelancers. I don’t see that happening nor do I see the location working but I hope to be proven wrong. They did have the 2am world cup game showing so it wasn’t a total waste
- Soi Tunnel still rules especially with the game showing. After my lame experience at Tequilla Dragon it was good to get back to the Tunnel
- Nana Disco. Still the same. This freelancer haven has not changed for the past couple of years. Yeah, it get’s some drunk assholes but also has many freelancers to choose from
- Sin Club. This bar has been doing well especially on the third floor where you can see the 2am World Cup games in English. A quick recap on some decent places that I have been to see the 2am games:
English Commentary:
Sin Club (Soi 4), Hilary Bar I (Soi 4) staying open for the next two weeks, Nana Hotel Bar (Soi 4), FoodLand Bar (Soi 5 3rd Floor), Old Dutch (Soi Cowboy)
Thai Commentary:
Swan 2 (Soi 4), Soi Tunnel Sanook Bar (Soi Tunnel betw Soi 5 and Soi 7), Soi 7 Beer Garden, Tequilla Dragon (Soi 7/1), Country Road top floor (Soi 19)

Tales From The Street
This week is an instructional tale on how to break up your best friend’s relationship. Friend A was not happy with the current girlfriend of his best friend, Friend B. He tried to convince his friend with words and experience that the girl was not right for him, but to no avail. His next tactic was to sleep with Friend B’s girlfriend and catch it on video. Even upon showing the video to Friend B it still didn’t convince him to break up with his girlfriend. Finally, Friend A took a photo of Friend B with two topless and very attractive girls kissing him on the cheek in bed. The girlfriend saw the picture and headed for the hills. Yes, there was nudity but the smile on the guy’s face could not have been wider which most likely did the trick. If you find yourself disliking your best friend’s girlfriend you are welcome to use these tactics. At the end of the day Friend A broke up the relationship, got laid, and has naked lady pictures that he took. So much for minding your own business.

Big Mango Bar Update
- World Cup in English. Come one come all.
- Drink 8 World Cup Country Shots and win a Big Mango t-shirt, and get a wicked buzz at the same time
- Drawing for Beerlao sign is on June 30th
- Happy Birthday to Cee
- Kitchen Special of the Week: Yakisoba with pork/chicken/beef/seafood
- Still open til 2am

-pmmp