The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

editors note: Yes. It is a long one folks but I have broken it into multiple pages. I am sure people will comment on this one given the subject matter. We hope to come up with a better commenting solution for posts with a lot of comments but nothing elegant is on the horizon. Hope u enjoy!

So you have played a few games of longball and are looking to change things up. In Bangkok, what are your options?

Or you maybe didn’t come to Thailand simply to just bang. Maybe you came to search for a wife, girlfriend, or mother of your children. In Bangkok, what are your options?

One good option is shopping for Fresh Produce.

Fresh Produce are girls new to the Farang dating scene. Tired of jaded Short Balling GoGo and Beer Bar girls Stone Banging and scamming? Maybe you are ready for Fresh Produce.

How do you find Fresh Produce?

Shopping for fresh produce is not as mindless, certain, and idiot proof as pulling girls from GoGo’s and Beer bars. It takes some intelligence, a little bit of knowledge, perseverance, luck, and time and you cannot do it if you are a Troll. If you are a gamer and enjoy the hunt as much as the kill, a prospector who lives for the high of finding a gem among mountains of dross, or want to find a real girl to have a real relationship and possibly make a full life with then you might try shopping for Fresh Produce.

Rather than telling you the best current places to look for Fresh Produce right off the bat, let’s start with the basic underlying economic forces which govern Fresh Produce.

Imagine a young girl fresh from the countryside looking to make her way in the Big Mango. What are her options for meeting farangs with jai dee (good heart) and nguun yai (big money)?

Imagine next a 23 year old recent university graduate wasting the best years of her life in a lonely office where she sees the same 12 people 6 days a week for 10 hours a day and spends the 7th day at home cooking and cleaning for her lazy worthless older brothers year after year after year after year. Where does she go when she does decide to take the big leap and go looking for the mythical farang BF who will whisk her away from a life of boredom, drudgery, and poverty to a life of leisure in the land where “Supersize Me” and “Go Big” are not only popular fast food options but also describes most of the women?

Imagine an 18 year old girl, on the cusp of her life, living a normal Bangkok existence. She lives in a small room without aircon or shares the small room with 2 or 3 other girls, there is no private bathroom, no refrigerator, no hot water, and the in room entertainment is a small shitty TV that only has 5 channels of state controlled programming or a tinny AM/FM radio. She eats street food everyday, wears cheap clothing, uses low quality makeup, has only two pairs of shoes, and the only entertainment she can afford is a couple of shots of cheap locally brewed whiskey before lying down to sleep on a padded mat which is rolled up every morning to clear the limited floor space.

Imagine a young girl from a decent family whose parents struggle and sacrifice to send her to a decent university where she is surrounded by girls from better families. Where the other girls have cool cellphone/MP3 players and wear elegant clothing from western designers. Where after school the other girls go to the local mall and watch the latest movies, play video games, eat chocolate ice cream and extra crispy Kentucky Fried Chicken, go bowling, and karaoke while she is forced to forego the fun because she has no discretionary income.

And don’t forget the everyday TG with a decent job, decent aircon apartment, enough money for some decent clothes and tickets to see the latest movie, living comfortably with enough extra each month to help out the parents but has some peculiarity or feature which severely diminishes her Thai marriage and dating prospects about which a farang wouldn’t notice, doesn’t care about, doesn’t mind, doesn’t understand and just doesn’t give a crap about.

All these girls dream of having children but the Thai guys who would give them the time of day are uneducated louts who expect a wife or GF to wait on them hand and foot, bow down to them like they are gods, obey orders like they are raw recruits at Parris Island, and forego the pleasure of wearing attractive and feminine clothing. Guys that make barely enough money to sustain a decent household but spend it instead on drinking, gambling and banging other women.

One of the best Gulliver’s Long Baller’s described these girls poetically during a discussion of a newbie who said he loved a TG he had just met but refused to give her any money even after going home with her a half dozen times all while spending money ST/LTing girls from the usual Sukhumvit girl venues. His rationale–if he started giving her money his relationship would be financial not emotional.

The way a Gulliver’s TG Long Baller put it, “He idiot. Of course all girls want love but first girl must survive.”

The truth is most young TG’s barely Live Above The Line.

Note: “Living Above the Line” is a term used among professional poker players and gamblers. A poker player Living Above The Line is one skillful enough at cards or wagering to be a consistent winner. Players living above the line do not have to scam, hustler, cheat, or steal to stay in action. They can play for a living, cover their nut with their winnings, and enjoy life. A player Living Below The Line, is a player with insufficient skill to beat games at big enough stakes to sustain their lifestyle or a skilled player that has a hole such as betting big money when they are guaranteed to lose, e.g. betting horses and sports, casino games such as roulette, craps, or does drugs. Players like this eventually exhaust their bankrolls and are forced to scam and hustle to stay in the game, i.e they are forced to Live Below The Line. Living Close to the Line might describe a lot of long time expats in Bangkok too.

When one of these girls makes the decision to enter the farang dating scene what are their options?

Because they are Living Close to the Line, Fresh Produce will not be found where upfront costs are high.

Girls in the situations described above have limited bankrolls and more importantly limited knowledge about the farang dating scene. Fresh Produce is not going to head to Conrad, Spasso, and Q-Bar where walking in the door costs 600THB.

The economics that rule these places discussed in Places to Avoid 1 and 2 affect Fresh Produce more severely because their inexperience makes them unable to accurately assess their chances of hooking up in these venues. A longtime working TG will know that she is likely to hook up 1 out of 3 trips to Q-bar but Fresh Produce has no idea what her batting average is. Remember how you felt the first time at a Nana GoGo and you can imagine how Fresh Produce feels the first few times she is in a farang bar.

The TG’s English proficiency is the second key factor influencing what venues she visits and where she can be found. Girls with a one hundred word English vocabulary cannot hook up where they are forced to converse deeply on complex subjects. With a 100 words only the most common and simple thoughts can be communicated and the most elementary verbal contracts negotiated.

Girls with decent English skills have a wider choice of venues to hang out at and hopefully hook up.

The truth about Fresh Produce is that the only way they can get a relationship started with a farang is by banging them. Because they Live Close To The Line, banging minutes after meeting a likely prospect the first time serves dual purposes–it brings in some income to ease the financial strain of being in the Fresh Produce market and it jump starts a relationship. In the absence of early banging and English proficiency, there is no way for a TG and farang to connect emotionally.

Speaking good English allows Fresh Produce to interact a little bit more, maybe even waiting until the second meeting, before the banging begins. A TG with decent English proficiency can hang out at a place where conversation is possible and has the luxury of getting to know the prospective before banging them.

So where are the Break In Joints for Fresh Produce?

Note: A Break In Joint is another term from the gambling world. A person who wishes to be a dealer in a casino typically goes to a dealer school first. After graduating from dealer school no upscale casino will hire them because they deal slowly and make too many mistakes. If they were hired at a nicer casino where players are wagering larger amounts of money, it would cost the casino too much money in foregone action and disgruntled players. New dealers have to start working at down market casinos where the stakes are small, the wages are low, and working conditions marginal. After working at a Break in Joint for 6 months to a year they usually become sufficiently skilled to move to a better casino which pays more salary and more importantly the players bet and tip more.

I can only give my opinion based on personal experience. There is no single venue where Fresh Produce congregates. You can eliminate some venues based on the information given above, e.g. Conrad and Spasso and you can deduce certain venues are good places to prospect but on any given night there is no guarantee of success. Bangkok is huge with so many girl venues, I do not claim these are the only or best places to go Fresh Produce shopping. They are only suggestions to get your started.

Specifically, the Patpong area is a personal black hole. I find the filth and infestation of tourists, scam artists, and hustlers (this includes many of the venue owners and staff) in Patpong a major deterrent to spending time there. Every time I go to Patpong, I end up wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could be back on Sukhumvit in a venue with the same format but with better prices, better service, more honestly run, and in a cleaner more sanitary and rude drunk tourist free environment. This doesn’t mean there aren’t good places to hang out in Patpong, I just don’t know where they are.

My list of 5 best Fresh Produce Markets in decreasing order are The Thermae, Gullivers, the Biergarten, Nana Parking Lot, and Nana Disco.

The Biergarten, Nana Parking Lot, and Nana Disco are well known and there is lots of information on the internet about these venues so I won’t comment on them.

The Thermae and Gulliver’s occupy opposite ends of the Fresh Produce market.

Fresh Produce with good English skills can frequently be found in Gulliver’s. It is not expensive for a TG to spend an evening in Gullivers if she is frugal, i.e. buying one drink and nursing it for a couple of hours so a girl can stop by after work with a couple of friends or drop in, hang out, see if anyone gives them any play and slink home if they fail to garner any attention.

Fresh Produce with an education, office jobs, and decent English can be found at Gulliver’s mixed in with the Freelance TG’s.

At the other end of the spectrum is the Thermae.

The Thermae is located on Sukhumvit about even with Soi 12 but on the other side of the street. There is a clearly visible yellow sign. When you enter you must buy one drink (80THB). There is no pressure to buy more drinks no matter how long you stay there.

Prime time at the Thermae is between midnight and 2AM. The bar closes at 2AM and many of the girls can be found eating at the food carts in the immediate area after closing.

Most long timers scoff when you tell them the Thermae is worth a visit. Based on a visit more than six months old, they envision the Old Thermae—home of the Cheap Charlie Expats. Where wrinkled ancient overweight appallingly dressed white men with low personal hygiene standards, who smell like an old gym sock, and whose knowledge of happy hour drink prices is up to date and encyclopedic, spend their evenings nursing one bottle of beer while trying to browbeat desperate used upped, hagged out, jerky skinned, stretch marked, yabaa addicted, middle aged TG’s with multiple children by different men into LT’ing for 500 THB so they can brag the next day about what a master negotiator they are to their just as gross, just as sad Cheap Charlie compadres.

Every time one of these blowhards regales me with a story about what a great “bargain” they got, I always ask to see a picture. The times that a picture has been forthcoming, I knew the girl, or she was around to be pointed out, inevitably, I think I would have paid 500THB NOT to bang the girl. Having a hard time envisioning these low price bargain TG’s these guys are always bragging about? Think about approaching every girl in the Biergarten or Nana Parking Lot and offering them 500THB for LT. Of course most of the TG’s will turn you down, but imagine the one that says OK. Are you getting the picture?

The Thermae has undergone a transformation in the last 6 months due to the arrival of the Japanese. It is just as smoky and run down as before but a vibrant market has emerged with the arrival of the Japanese.

The Thermae is home to the TG FL Japanese specialist—-both Long and Short Ballers. Most people think of Rainbow Nana when they think of where Japanese men go, but the Thermae is where younger Japanese men go when they are looking for freelancer action similar to the Biergarten Soi 7.

At the New Thermae, you also find TG FL’s who specialize in Japanese customers. You can identify these girls because they are better looking and younger than the typical Biergarten or Old Thermae TG and are well groomed and attractively dressed to suit Japanese tastes, e.g. pony tails, nice party dresses, and schoolgirl minis with sporty shoes.

A lot of these Japanese guys are into some funky shit. If you visit Thermae take a close look at the Japanese guys walking around and you will invariably see full backpacks or curiously large obviously full fanny packs. These frequently contain what a friend and I refer to as the Arsenal—a collection of sex toys, costumes and other paraphernalia that get hauled out during banging sessions. Befriend some of the Thermae TG regulars and ask them about banging Japanese guys if you want some good amusement.

The New Thermae is not just for Japanese. There is a large contingent of regular FL TG Biergarten types. Girls who have limited English skills and lack the personal appearance, personality, experience and style to move up market or for whatever reason are content to ST in the farang middle market. Most of these girls do not get any action from the Japanese men and their customer base is the non-Japanese. There is only a slight overlap between Nana parking lot, Nana Disco, and the Biergarten so most of the Thermae girls are fresh faces to Biergarten, Nana Parking Lot, and Nana Disco aficionados.

On any given night about half the men are Japanese. The rest are a mix of Cheap Charlie longtime Expats and other assorted farangs. The old time Ex-Pat Cheap Charlies and the TG’s willing to service them are still there but they are slowly being pushed into extinction.

Personally, I like pulling the Japanese specialists from the Thermae. Generally they are younger, better dressed, fresher, adventurous, and a lot of fun when you get them home. Many of them are stunners. They won’t agree to 1000 THB for ST but 1500 THB is usually agreeable.

The pricing at the Thermae is the same as at Nana Disco and the Biergarten. The girls want 1000/1500 for ST and LT is 2000 THB. Most of the TG Japanese specialists won’t go home with the worst of the Cheap Charlie ExPats and Trolls and a few of the Japanese specialists will only go Japanese.

My experience at the New Thermae is that 98% of the girls will go with anyone presentable who pays the prevailing price.

Fresh Produce shopping means hanging out at the low rent girl venues. These are where you encounter the oddballs, goofballs, jerk offs, BS artists, sleaze buckets, clueless, and the low life farangs with questionable morals and ethics. Personally, I find most of these guys fun and amusing in small doses and like talking to them but that is a matter of personal taste.

The worst of these are the Bottom Feeders and Night Crawlers.

Both of these terms are taken from the poker world.

A Nightcrawler is a poker player usually insufficiently skilled to beat normal high stakes games who sleeps all day and shows up at the casino fresh eyed and bushy tailed in the wee hours of the night hoping to find games where the only players left gambling are drunk, tired, and stuck. The diminished caliber of the competition in these late running games makes them a favorite at stakes they normally could not beat.

The mildest and most innocuous Nightcrawlers show up at GoGos and Beer Bars at closing time hoping to find girls who are willing to go at a discount or to avoid the barfine by meeting them after the bar closes—something they are usually discouraged from doing so by the owner. The nastiest Nightcrawlers prowl Soi 4 and Sukhumvit at 4AM looking for girls whose monthly nut or drug habit makes them willing to do almost anything for 500THB or whose visa status and lack of ID makes them unable to enter venues such as Nana Disco.

A Bottom Feeder is a gambler or poker player who searches out people whose normal judgment is impaired e.g. drug addicts who have run out of money, gamblers who have lost everything and owe money to the wrong people, and nice people to whom bad and unlucky things have happened like recently divorced men and women whose boyfriends have just cheated on them or beat them. Once the Bottom feeder has found a victim, they take advantage of the person’s weakened state in whatever way they can and using whatever method no matter how immoral or unethical at their disposal. When a Bottom Feeder finds a nice girl they suck them dry. You can imagine the grisly details.

You can see Bottom Feeders working their trade at the low soi girl venues. They are like the aged toothless hyenas unable to kill healthy prey shadowing herds of antelope on the veldt looking for the one with a bad leg or weakened with disease that can still be brought down with their diminished abilities. Who knows what type of unholy bargain Bottom Feeders extract from their unfortunate prey.

When you are shopping for Fresh Produce in low soi venues like the Thermae and Nana Parking Lot you are down in the muck with the Nightcrawlers and Bottomfeeders so sometimes you have to hold your breath, close your eyes, and make sure not to eat a full meal beforehand.

When shopping for Fresh Produce you must realize success is not guaranteed. You can spend an evening at Gulliver’s, Nana, and the Thermae and not find what you are looking for. You can also get lucky and find 4 or 5 TG’s that qualify as Fresh Produce in a single night.

If you are interested in Fresh Produce, a good strategy is to stop by Gulliver’s around 10 or 11, head over to the Thermae around midnight, and then stop by Nana disco and parking lot between 2 and 3AM. This is very cost effective because it doesn’t cost anything to make a Gulliver’s sweep and the Thermae requires only the purchase of a single drink. If you are really low on funds cut out Nana Disco which costs 400 THB and just hang around Nana parking lot for a hour or so after the Thermae closes.

Shopping for Fresh Produce is usually an ongoing process that takes time. You kind of plug away at it and eventually you succeed.