As we have discussed before - running bars in Thailand is full of little side-adventures that seem to have nothing to do with the actual business operations but are issues we deal with due to the strangeness of just having any business in Thailand. Sometimes these episodes are fun but other times they can be midly frustrating. I will let u decide. First some housecleaning… Continue reading ‘Missing some beer kegs…’
Archive for March, 2007
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| Two guys and one girl, yesterday |
I guess another big difference between life in the west and life in Bangkok is a far less possessive attitude towards women. Tell a pal back home that his new squeeze is quite the looker, and he’ll probably accept the compliment. Asking him if he wouldn’t mind passing you some naked photos of her - or ever letting you “have a test drive”, would probably be going a little too far.
But in this environment of unlimited flange, it’s almost a way of life. My pals and I show, email or bluetooth each other photos (and videos, for the more adventurous) of our conquests, and even (not always intentionally) recommend certain girls to each other.
The girls seem happy enough about it - in fact, an introduction from a friend is seen as a positive reference: “Oh, you’re Dave’s friend - you must be okay! Sure, let’s go!”
Of course, try doing things the other way around, perhaps by asking that slightly obsessed gogo girl who wakes you up in the middle of the night whether she can recommend a friend for you to shag, and you’ll suddenly find yourself less popular than an internet stalker at a Bangkok Bloggers Cabal meeting.
Literally sharing a girl is something I haven’t felt the urge to do myself, but a bar owner I know (and no, it’s neither of the Big Mango guys) confessed to having had an eleven-some last year. Four guys and seven girls, I think it was. Now that would take some major logistical planning. Impressive.
Of course, the downside of sharing ones conquests is that unfavourable comparisons may occasionally be made. Here are a few lines you really don’t want to hear:
- Dave was much better than you
- Your father/son/brother/aunt was much better than you
- Can’t you do that thing Dave does?
- Your wang looks like Dave’s, but much smaller
- Do you have Dave’s number?
Feel free to add your own.
Disclaimer #1: I don’t know anyone called Dave
Disclaimer #2: The Nana Plaza gogo girl who inspired this post refused to be drawn into discussing whether I was any better than the buddy who she’d been with the week before. I guess she didn’t want to hurt his feelings…
My plant needs 4 bottles of water per day versus three, jealous girlfriends of bargirls are worse than jealous boyfriends, my Sony Aibo likes porn (makes sense since they are made in Japan) and revenge is a dish best served piping hot by me in an Indian tailor shop on Sukhumvit Soi 8.
There I was cruising Suk the other day and needed to stop into the Family Mart near Soi 8 to grab a Grape Gatorade. It was sickly hot and I needed some fluids. As I had paid and started for the door I heard someone say “Is that an Ohm on your leg?”.
“Yes it is, ” I replied. Continue reading ‘Things I have discovered…’
I was reading this on Wired and trying to get the fascination of it all. Frankly watching what some dude is watching via the mini-camera on his head just seems super boring. Of course if there was a hint of sex or some pick-up action it might be a little but quirky but once I read the last paragraph I had to chuckle.
As for real-life sex in the JenniCam style, he admitted that was a tough question. “Maybe we could do it with a half-camera,” he suggested. “But I won’t be doing this my whole life, so I’m putting that stuff on hold for now.”
Okay. So we cleared that up. This idiot is just going to put off sex for a while until he figures out his whole camera business. This got me thinking. After this post about CNN I got an email from a buddy who after laughing his ass off caught me on Yahoo IM and was wanting a first hand scoop on the day’s nuttiness. He begged to know what we really get up to out in BKK. Plus after reading this Wired thing I realized that sometimes I pass up sex but for entirely different reasons. Reminds me of a quote:
THE REAL TRUTH IS THAT IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS YOU CAN’T IMAGINE THE SHIT WE GET UP TO HERE!
But seriously. Let’s replay a 24 hour cycle so to speak. I won’t use names cause it would be bad. Continue reading ‘Reason to put off sex…’
This page was originally the home of my review of Bangkok Cosy, now available on The Guide. This page has been kept as a placeholder for the comments thread that ensued.
Please leave all future comments on the Guide entry:
Seems the internet is not working so well:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/27/sheep.house.ap/index.html
could use -
One of the fundamental differences between Bangkok and the West is that the underpants of power, with regards to sexual relationships, are firmly wrapped around the buttocks of the male of the species here in Amazing Thailand.
Whilst in the West, it’s the female’s prerogative to pick and choose from a gaggle of desperate suitors, here in Bangkok the shoe is on the other foot, and comfortably so. It’s probably a Hush Puppy, or perhaps a Sukhumvit tailored (cobbled?) custom fit. Whatever - it’s a comfortable shoe, despite being on the wrong foot. I need to steer clear of analogies, don’t I?
My point is perhaps better illustrated by the events of Sunday night. I had a burger and a beer (or three) in the Big Mango at Nana Plaza, whilst enjoying the free live entertainment (ie. Pmmp almost getting killed over a fish), but since I have a policy of treading carefully in bars I actually like spending time in, I’ve never barfined a girl from the Mango, and wasn’t going to start over the weekend. Jealousy issues, however unlikely in my case, can be a very real problem if you take more than one girl from the same bar.
Still, by deciding not to take any of what was available, I effectively turned down 15-20 girls.
Onwards, then, to Mandarin - possibly my favourite NEP bar at the moment. Some cute girls, but none really stood out. I drank up and left, thus turning down another 50 or so girls.
On to Fantasia, which I’m delighted to report sucks more than ever before. I’d heard that they’d made the bar no-smoking, but there was no sign of this. A quick drink later, I was out of there, having turned down another 30 or so ladies.
I’d turned down about one hundred girls now, in less than an hour.
I left the Plaza and checked out the Beergarden on Sukhumvit Soi 7. About a hundred pairs of eyes followed me as I walked a quick circuit of the bar. Some were on stalks. I was just vaguely looking for someone who stood out, but in a good way. Nobody did, so I left.
I’d turned down about 200 girls by now, and the night was but young. In the UK, I’d probably have actively pursued at least 100 of them if I’d met them in a bar, and probably would have at least considered another 50 or so of the others if they’d approached me. So I turned down 150 girls who I’d probably have agreed to sleep with a year ago, plus the 50 I wouldn’t. In about an hour. I called one of my speed-dials in the end, who easily beat all of them.
We take a lot for granted here.
Disclaimer: Yes, most of them would have expected payment. However, that payment would have been less than the cost of the drinks and dinner they’d have expected from me in the UK.
Flamebait: They’re all whores, from a certain point of view. Discuss.
Mango Weekly - 25 March 2007
Published by on March 26th, 2007 in After Hours, Main, The Making Of and The Weekly. 46 CommentsThe week was really getting on nicely but as often happens in Thailand shit happens quickly. I had a very distressing encounter in the Plaza this past Sunday with a bar on the first floor. It was one of their staff’s birthdays so they decided to set up a bbq and cook about 40 or so huge fish. The smoke and stench from the bbq was stinking up the whole plaza and really stinking up the Mango. Customers were complaining so I went down to ask them to stop.
Continue reading ‘Mango Weekly - 25 March 2007′
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