The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

Okay folks. Been busy at the new pub, hacking on the new blog(still) and enjoying the cool weather but I its time for a new post. The other day I had an email conversation with a buddy in HK about a particular massage parlor. Which got me thinking. So I had a few hours in the afternoon last Sunday and decided to do a little research. For the blog. Honestly. Follows is a whirlwind trip through a bunch of massage places, my thoughts - candid as they are, and the outcome. Which was great. Honestly.

First stop. Chao Phraya 2. The is an old stop on Soi Sri Ayutthaya road. This place is massive, old and probably has seen its better days but I wanted to see it anyway. Let me state that this was a Sunday afternoon which is not a great time to be visiting massage places when it comes to selection. Meaning there are not too many girls working. CP 2 was right out of the 70s when it comes to architecture, colors, carpet and well - the women. It seems CP 2 is famous for a normal massage but I am not sure if this means soapie or the slip and slide massage but there were a ton of older women ready to rub u down but I was not looking for that. I may have to return though for a normal rub or soapie when I have time but I was on a mission. We paid for our cheap cokes and went on.

Down the street we could see JC massage or JC 1 I think it is called. Looked impressive from the outside and we jumped in. Same deal. Empty fishbowl but not entirely empty. Actually some of the ugliest girls I have seen. Some with botched plastic surgery jobs - u have to know that will all the plastic surgeries performed in Thailand that there must be some mistakes. There are folks. Head down to JC and get a look for yourself. What killed me though is that some of the worst were the highest priced girls. Like 2500 baht or something. We smiled and left.

Quick segway. Let’s face it. Most of these places are for the Thais or other Asians. For instance u may pick a girl and she may politely decline u. Usually this message comes from the mamason or papason who may tell u straight up that she does not go with Farangs. That happened to me once. Oh well. Other places may discourage the Farang by adding what we call a surcharge or a service charge. I call this the Farang Tax. The Thais call this Farang Pah See. I won’t pay it. If it is only 200-500 and the girl is smoking I might but in general I am going to avoid the places with the Farang Tax. Onward ho.

Okay. After this we decided to head to familiar territory - Ratchada. Land of the massage parlors. First stop was Emanuelle. We checked it out but there were just not that many girls at all. I mean like 4 or 5 so we headed right out. Right next to or a part of Emanuelle was High Class but we assumed it would not be much better so we headed across the street to Cesars.

Cesars is a classy place. U can tell right away that this place will cost a little more. The layout absolutely sucks though. No matter where u sit u can’t see anything. They have a part timer area or models areas. Segway. The first place I heard about this models club was Poiseden. On the 5th floor, this place is huge, Poiseden has a floor where the girls who are models work part time. Most of these girls can show u there spreads in various Asian magazines or their Penthouse magazine that features them. Hard to lie about being a model or a Pet if they can show u their spread before u go into the room with them. How cool is that. It seems though that every parlor now has this models section but if u ask them for more information u will find that they are just the part time girls. These girls are generally pretty hot and may actual work in some other entertainment sector work but part time at the massage places for extra discreet income. These girls are usually more expensive and won’t always sandwich. More on that later.

Back to Cesars. There were 2 girls behind the glass that were just stunning. White skin, tall, nice breasts, long hair and amazing faces. I asked how much and the papason said to wait a minute. That was my clue that something was up. So a mamason came over to tell me they were 4500 baht and the models section was 5000 baht. Ouch. Seems way expensive. She said there was not a Farang tax but I think she was lying to me in that there was a tax but she did not want to say it. We had our one drink at Cesars but I may go back to check the pricing more because a few of the girls and almost all of the part-timers were stunners. So maybe it is more expensive and they have hotter girls. On the way out I ran into an owner of a popular bar on Soi 4 but he chose to pretend I did not exist. Right back at u T.

After this we cruised over to Colonze II. Colonze I is over on Rama 9 and is just massive. Colonze II is not as big but we decided to check it out. One of their features is some huge rooms with big tubs and a spa. Seems like a place to have a party, but not this time. There were very few girls - maybe like 7 or 8 but they were all cute. The timing was also fortunate because we saw many of the girls reporting to work which I love seeing them in their street clothes. In fact u can point one out on the way in and get her right after changing. Fresh meat so to speak. We had a drink and checked it out for a bit but no pulling. One thing that I love at all these places is hanging out and watching the girls, the customers and the flow of it all. Colonze also does not have a Farang Tax. The journey continued.

We popped back into a cab and went somewhere near Ratchada but I am not sure where. First stop was Utopia. An impressive looking building and a hint of something good to come. Fishbowl was fuller than most but the part time couches outside the fishbowl were full. It was amazing. All the girls were flirty and for sure I was going to pull. One of the things I loved the most though was that the majority of them were wearing skirts or jeans. I was only thinking about taking a girl with jeans so I could watch her peel them off. Was killing me.

Sitting next to us was the obvious Thai/Chinese papason who could not be bothered to talk to us. We finally jolted him to attention to get a price quote. Just before we had startled him I heard another Thai guy get the price run down. 1500 left in the bowl, 2000 right in the bowl and the part timers where 2500. I was liking this but when the old dude spoke he quoted everything at 1500 baht more. I asked to be clear but he came right out to say that the Farang pays more. Sucks. I was totally bummed. I was so looking forward to dejeaning a few girls but I was not a sucker. We paid the bill and went out dejected. Time was running out. We needed to make some decisions. I opted for one more place and my friend knew of one more I had not seen yet.

Flagged a cab down and steamed forward towards Rama 9. Almost to Colonze but not quite. Hang a left and another and the next thing u know we were there. Victorias. Very cool looking place, kind of art deco style - not old school. Just my thing. We popped into a medium size lounge with a big bowl and 10 or so part timers. Who were all smoking. Our papason called them models but I think they were just part timers but they were hot. Prices were 1700 for the soapie girls, 1800 I think for the normal and 2500 for the models. Everyone was worth it and there was no tax. We started to talk about the soapie girl - which by they way I have never had a soapie - but before I could make up my mind she was taken. Then I started looking at one of the models but also checking out one of the regulars who was tall with big boobs. Sucks. Okay. I want a sandwich. No problem he says. I will take that model and the girl in the blue dress. Cannot he says. What? No sandwich. He says I can sandwich but must pick the same bread. I fell over laughing. Seems one cannot mix from different sections. Well. I thought about it and realized when I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at home that I don’t mix bread so clearly that rule applies here. I figured 2 models would not be so great cause models or part timers usually starfish. So I picked the girl in the blue and another girl who had just come in with even bigger boobs. Life is rough. When they both appeared in the lounge they kind of laughed not realizing it was sandwich time but no worries.

I paid up front and was escorted to a nice but small room. Tub could have been bigger but hey - who’s complaining. It was clear that one girl was really into the 3some idea and one was not but we made do. The more dominant one decided to take over and give orders - I obliged. Hour and a half later I emerged. A new man. A fan of Victoria. Must try the other lord group places when I can and will let u all know how it goes.

I continue to love digging through the massage places. I keep seeing some very beautiful girls, the service is great, there is no bullshit, no phone calls and it pretty much allows me to do whatever else it is I have been doing at home - a regular with bennies but have to save that for another time.

Back to work!

thanks to ObiWan for showing me the way…