Archive for October, 2006

Halloween, Minus One

halloween pumpkin moon Venturing out on Monday night - the night before Halloween - you wouldn’t have thought I’d have come across quite so many witches, skeletons, vampires and werewolves. “But Halloween is tomorrow, isn’t it?”, I asked the girls at Rainbow 2, Mercury and Carousel bars in turn, before giving up and just accepting it. This is Thailand, after all.

Whilst high “spirits” were in the air at Nana Plaza, this was nothing compared to the buzz of being on the judging panel for the fancy dress competition at Soi Cowboy’s Rawhide bar.

Rawhide is something of a success story of late - many of the Long Gun’s hotter girls have been moved here, in order to try and move some of the overcrowded customers out of Long Gun and into the relatively empty Rawhide (owned by the same management). Thus far, it’s working slowly - Rawhide was fuller than I’ve seen it in a while, but still nowhere near as full as Long Gun.

Anyhow, as well as being home to what must be the most perfect pair of breasts in the whole of Thailand, Rawhide was also home to a fancy dress competition last night. Some of the girls had used their not inconsiderable skills to craft their own “scary or sexy” (or both) outfits, and paraded their efforts for us on the stage. Very nice indeed, and the winner fully deserved her prize of B10,000.

As the evening drew to an end, a couple of the girls whispered to me that they would be off to the Penny Black bar after the bar closed, should I wish to meet them there. I’m no stranger to dodging a bar fine, and this sounded a good plan.

After a couple of games of pool in the Penny Black though (I lost, badly), when I invited the cuter of the two girls (they claimed to be sisters - don’t they all?) home with me, she smiled and told me she’d love to come.

“Ok, we go! You pay bar now!”

“Huh? Your bar closed already - we left!”

“No, you pay this bar. Pay Penny Black. Five hundred baht.”

So it seems that Rawhide, Long Gun and Penny Black are owned by the same folks. And that if you want to remove the staff of the former bars from the latter, even after hours, you’ll have to come up with a barfine.

I preferred to head down Sukhumvit’s Miracle Mile, Cheap Charlie that I am, where I met an exquisite young thing - formerly of my favourite bar at Nana Plaza, the now-defunct Pretty Lady. Which my sources inform me will be re-opening on November 5. See you there!

Update: My sources were wrong. Pretty Lady remains closed, but I’ll be keeping an eye on it.

Kangaroo Club review

This page was originally the home of my review of Kangaroo Club, now available on The Guide. This page has been kept as a placeholder for the comments thread that ensued.

Please leave all future comments on the Guide entry:

Kangaroo Club on The Guide.

Star Of Light review

Tucked into a corner on Patpong 2, the Star Of Light bar is not one into which a punter should casually wander. Inside you will find some of the most skilled practitioners of the oral arts in Bangkok, if not Thailand. This is not a bar you visit for a quiet drink.

Unlike Lolita’s, there are no curtains, booths or private rooms. Nor is there a separate, “clean” bar area. Unless you fancy taking your special lady out to the toilet (or paying a barfine to take her to your room), you’ll be indulging - as others do - in the bar itself, out in the open.

This appeals to some more than others, of course. But you didn’t come to Bangkok to be shy, did you? Beer is ฿80 a bottle, and the speciality on offer will cost you ฿700 per lady, on-site. Go on, treat yourself.

Standards and Attitudes


One of the things I love about Thailand is the attitude of the locals.

Sit in a bar in England, and ask a member of staff whether they sell cigarettes (assuming you’re in one that still allows their customers to smoke). They will either grunt and nod their head towards a vending machine, where you can buy 16 cigarettes for £5.50 (about ฿385), or they’ll say “no”, with a charming scowl.

Here in Thailand, they’ll either sell you a pack of 20 for ฿60-100 or so, or they’ll run to the nearest shop and buy a pack for you. And the smile on their face won’t drop once.

But depending on where you go, things can be very different indeed. Everyone I meet here tells me how much better things were in the old days - is this just nostalgia, or are things really going to pot?

As an example, Nana Plaza. The best bars here, in terms of beautiful girls, are the Rainbow bars. But these girls have been allowed to develop a ridiculously bad attitude. Japanese ex-pats will often pay them several times the going rate - think ฿6-10,000 just for short-time - so why should they bother with mere farangs?

And we residents are looked down upon far more than our vacationing countrymen - in that we know how much things are supposed to cost, and we can tell when a girl is just after the money. The truth is, as most of us eventually realise, that as long as a girl is reasonably attractive, it’s far better to be with a girl who likes you, than to be with a girl who just likes your money.

And you’d be hard pushed to find one of those in a Rainbow bar, no matter how hunky you are.

Meanwhile at Erotica bar, home of ฿65 draft beer and bottles of fantastic Hoegaarden, direct from Belgium, the girls have been cultivating a similar attitude. Angelwitch may be going through a ropey time in terms of attractive girls, but at least they’ve still got time for their customers.

And so my revised top 5 at Nana Plaza reads like this:

  1. Angelwitch

    Best shows in Nana, and getting saucier by the week. The showgirls are generally gorgeous, and there are some very tasty regular dancers here too if you arrive early enough - too many are making up the numbers these days though, and drinks are the most expensive in the whole of Nana Plaza.

  2. Rainbow 4

    A simple formula - gather 150-200 gorgeous girls, and pack your bar with them. The Rainbow group know exactly how to run a bar full of eyecandy, and this is probably the best.

    Japanese men will be treated preferentially though, and expect to be quoted prices to match.

  3. Rainbow 2

    More of the same from the Rainbow group - slightly fewer girls here than in Rainbow 4, and always seems too dark to me, but there are a lot of hot girls here. See above if you’re not Japanese though.

  4. Playskool

    The only bar where you’re guaranteed to see truly topless dancing, Playskool has some very cute girls but again, too many making up the numbers for my liking.

    Also, their “only bar showing topless” status may not last much longer with many bars relaxing their rules recently…

  5. Erotica

    Hidden between the 2nd and 3rd floors, this bar’s come on in leaps and bounds recently. The best glass ceiling bar this side of Soi Cowboy, with cheap (฿65) draft beer available to boot, and now imported Belgian beers too!

    The girls though, whilst nowhere near Rainbow quality, have been developing Rainbow attitudes. Maybe they’ve been reading my top 5…

Lolita’s review

This page was originally the home of my review of Lolita’s, now available on The Guide. This page has been kept as a placeholder for the comments thread that ensued.

Please leave all future comments on the Guide entry:

Lolita’s Review on The Guide.

Mango Weekly - 22 October 2006

This week on the Mister Rogers show we will talk about Boof Svorga.
Boof Svorga (Swedes, please excuse my spelling) is Swedish for "brother
effer". A term used to basically describe sharing the same women with
your friends, not at the same time particularly but over time. For
example, you are at a club or a go-go and your friend points out a girl
and says "I have been with her and it was the most amazing night of my
life". At this point you are either in Camp A where you are disgusted
that this girl has been soiled by your friend and would never be with
her (referred to as "sloppy seconds" in some countries), or in Camp B where the girl has now been qualified and your risk
of a bad experience dramatically reduced so you take the plunge with
the girl yourself. When I first moved to Thailand I came with American
cultural baggage so I was in Camp A. The delusion of the girl I was
pursuing being pure was very important to maintain. Don’t know why, it
was just built in. After being in Bangkok now for a bit I have jumped
camps to Camp B. The logic of this switch is pretty simple. Most girls
I pursue have been with hundreds of men, women or whatever. That is the
reality here. So, if your friend has been there and gives a stellar
review and is not itching below more than usual than why not go with that over an unknown quantity. Chances are the unknown girl and the
qualified girl have been around the block an equal amount of times so
why not take the one who you know will be good. Over time here in
Bangkok it becomes more important to avoid the bad ones over the ones
that have been sullied by your mate. The Swedes are the only folks that
I know of with a term dedicated to this social behavior. In speaking to the Swedes I
know they are not sure if this says something good or bad about Sweden. I
say cheers to the Swedes and Boof Svorga. Let the slutting continue…

This week:

Resorts and Sopranos
Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
After Hours Update
Tales From The Street
Big Mango Bar Update

Continue reading ‘Mango Weekly - 22 October 2006′

The cherrys weren’t blossoming…

Every once in a while I have to go research something. Do it for the team so to speak. We need good copy. U remember Malaysia don’t u? So this time I ventured over to Suk Soi 26 - the little annex soi with all the massage places and decided to go for a little rub and tug. I was tired anyway so the idea of having to work for it did not make sense to me. Lately my go go pulls have not been anything to write home about so I decided to stick to the massage places for a bit. I cruised up the soi one time - was going to try Angels cause I have heard about their - ball massage but just before I walked in I started talking to a girl who worked at Cherry Massage…

Continue reading ‘The cherrys weren’t blossoming…’

The hairs down under…

Thought I had seen it and heard it all having been in Thailand for a while but I guess not. I mean I have had some stuff taken from my luggage and can recount some other tales of airport theft but this is weird. I think u folks down under better screen your baggage employees a little more.

I had my bag lost on my way to Penang one time and when it was delivered a day later at my hotel I was missing my traveling iPod speakers. Really pissed me off but it made sense to me that a poorly paid aiport attendant would take them - they were cool.

I think one time when I got my luggage back to the hotel in San Francisco I noticed that a pack of condoms was gone. I get it. Someone was getting laid and borrowed my jimmies.

My friends talk about it when alcohol or cigs are missing from their bags. Go figure. Someone wants to smoke and drink. Sucks but makes sense. But hair? Random samples of hair? Was the dude trying to make a wig? Needed a cheaper alternative to dental floss? Was going to darn some socks? I am baffled here folks. The people from down under need to band together and have the PR people of Melbourne issue a public statement to help the world deal with this crisis. It is weirding me out…




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