The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

I am sure your version of dry humping and mine may not be the same. It is Thailand - so the idea of dry humping does not make much sense. Plenty of oppurtunities for the real thing so let me get to my explanation. There are two types of dry humping that I will define in this post. One is the kind a bar owner experiences and can’t really do much to stop it. The other is the kind a go go bar customer might have to deal with but can make sure that is never happens again…

When u build a bar and u want to be around for a while - u have to develop a steady base of regular customers. U want repeat business. U want regulars telling other people about the bar and somedays u can pride yourself and look around your bar to see a bunch of people talking to each other and enjoying the fellowship of other customers. To get there though u have to treat everyone who walks through the door as someone special, until they prove otherwise, and make yourself - as a bar owner/manager, available and willing to listen. Sometimes this can be a real pain.

At times u will get a customer who comes in to talk to u because they have no one better to talk to. This one always seems weird to me in Thailand since u could just buy some lady drinks and most any bar girl will sit and listen to u for hours. Just keep the lady drinks coming. Well sometimes customers think that the owners are the bar girls but yet they forget to buy the drinks. Okay. I can deal with someone needing to talk my ear off for a little bit but when they don’t even order their own drink I start to get a little irritated. Worse yet they seem to get right up in your face, at times even close to straddling your leg, just to talk on and on about stuff that no one cares about. This whole situation I call dry humping. No drink order, one-sided conversation, and leg straddling. Apalling. Make it stop.

The second form of dry-humping tends to happen to regulars in go go bars when the usually farang bar manager comes over to talk to you, once again comes very close to  straddling your leg, repeatedly requests for u to buy them a drink and is also quite adept at holding one-sided conversations. My advice - stay away from that bar. No one needs dry-humping in Thailand. Least of all the regular customer in a go go bar.

Class dismissed…