The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

The corner of Soi 5 and Sukhumvit has always made be a liitle bonkers. There are the Tuk-Tuk drivers offering their 10 baht services for touring all of Thailand in a single day, there are the friends of the Tuk-Tuk drivers offering the Massage Palour happy hour services, and now there is the strange Ladyboy Mamasan who uses Starbucks as her office. Strange stuff indeed!

Let me explain some of this so that people understand the deal.

Sukhumvit Soi 5 gets a lot of traffic and is a great place for all the local touts to hang out and prey on passing by tourists. Yes they prey on me too. U would think having seen me almost everyday that they would start to think I am not a tourist and leave me the hell alone, but no - they are not that cunning. Lately I have been going to the Starbucks right near the corner of Soi 5 that faces Sukhumvit for my morning shot of caffeine and some breakfast. Why? Well some of the girls that work there are cute, I need a place to study and like chilling there. U see some strange stuff. It seems that this Starbucks let’s just about anyone use the bathroom so I think the local touts like this location since they to need to use the toilet now and then.

First off. These Tuk-Tuk drivers are not going to take u on a tour of Thailand for 10 baht. The only place they are going to take u is the places they want u to see that offer them free petrol coupons. Yes folks. Some of the Tailors(the other scourge of Bangkok), jewellery shops and Thai gift shops will give the Tuk-Tuk drivers a coupon for Petrol if u go into the store and look around. U probably won’t like these stores, they are not in the direction u want to go and the whole thing is a huge hassle. I suggest using a metered taxi for your trips around town and blow off the Tuk-Tuks. If u must ride in them, make sure they know where u want to go and decide on the price before hand. Imagine this - a metered taxi at the very least will cost u 40 baht. Most of the time Tuk-Tuks are more expensive so if they are not asking at least 40 baht then they are lying to u and u are not going to go where u want.

The massage parlour touts. They are all over Sukhumvit and when u walk by they show u that little card with all the sexy girls, the tub and so on. They tell u it is happy hour no matter what time of the day it is. Well first off - most of these places do not have a happy hour. Secondly - these guys and girls don’t work for the massage parlours but get a kick back and usually u will get overcharged because of the kickback. Use the net, find a massage parlour u like and then get in a taxi and go there. Don’t use these guys and girls to get u there.

So back to Starbucks. Lately there has been a very scary ladyboy sitting near the front door with a guy and a Thai girl. She tells me everyday how much she likes my earrings. Thanks for the 20th time. Today she started chatting me up and asked me if I needed a lady. Like I can’t find one myself. It seems she is pimping in Starbucks and the guy is there with a nearby Tuk-Tuk or Taxi to whisk u away to some short time facility to meet the girl. Wow. Nice package. I would stay way away from it. After I said no thanks and got back to my studying I was later getting a napkin when a girl came over to get a straw and ask me where I was from. Turns out she was with the ladyboy, already had a straw and was trying to get to "know" me. Too funny. Well I would never go with any of the girls with these people or use them to get girls. There are plenty of places to get daytime action and I suggest sticking to those outlets.

be safe!