The FARANG Speaks 2 Much

Yes. Had a free night with no school the next day so I decided to get out of dodge. Went to the Ekkimai bus station and forked over 120 baht for a ticket to Pattaya. I think the BART fare from Mission Street to Berkley costs more than that? Arrived and forked over another 300 baht for a room. Chowed some Deluxe Nachos and 2 Margaritas while I planned my attack.

It was only going to be a night time run and only for one night so my plan was to go to at least a few go go bars I had not visited before. My first stop was near Soi Diamond, someday I will explain, so that set me up for going to the second floor of Soi Diamond to check in on Tiger and Shark bar.

First up was Tiger bar since it was on the right hand side when u walk up the stairwell and it just seemed like the logical choice. On style this club is not bad at all and looked like it is either well taken care of or has been recently remodeled but other than style this place is a dud. I hate having to report on lame places but I figure it comes with the job and better for me to endure the pain of the Dj singing over GNR Sweet Child of Mine than for our fan base to have to do it. When are these places going to learn that music can make or break a gogo - just check out Shark Bar in Bangkok for an example of how a DJ playing good tunes has turned the place around. Enuff said. The music sucked and all I could take was one drink at this place and to top it all off the vodka/redbull I had tasted like they were using the cheapest Vodka on the planet. Kills me. I know that the difference between the cost of rubbing alcohol and decent Vodka is only a few hundred baht a bottle. Please - no rubbing alcohol. Service staff was okay but the go go girls looked pretty bored, the music, and there was just really no vibe at all. Granted - this was only one night but it was a Saturday night so I am assuming this is the norm at this place. Check bin and roll.

Across the way we go to Shark Bar - Pattaya. Same setup, same menu(different logo) - but some better dancers, more friendly staff and some decent but not great music. One thing I did notice is that the drink prices were quite high for the quality of alcohol served and the lack of talent. Some drink prices were more than Casino which makes no sense to me at all. However the staff did encourage me to stick around and buy a few more drinks but it was not the dancers since I did not see any real stunners here either. The 2 mamasans were cool though and fun to chat with. One was a 43 year old that looked like she could pass for 27-28 and the other was one of the more beautiful CLB I have seen working as a manager in a bar. Gorgeous, funny and great to chat with. So we stayed for a few here to learn that the owner is the same for Tiger and Shark but that they had both seen there better days. I am sure the location does not help (being upstairs) but I also think that if they got the places working well together that the location on Soi Diamond would prove beneficial. I may stop in on a future trip to check twice and see if there are any improvements but at this point I don’t see any reason for people to make it a point to stop by these two go go bars.

Okay. Off to Casino to see some friends. Fun girls and a cool owner. Then over to Marine to shake my tail. Great tunes again and a happening crowd. If u are into clubbing or dancing I think hitting Marine 1 past 11:00 is always a treat and I like it more than Tony’s. If Marine is not quite happening yet you can always roll out to Peppermint go go which is next door to kill some time.

Done with Marine we headed out to find some trouble. Being in Pattaya u should know that weird things happen. Have an open mind since it is fun. So I am buzzed. Nicely so. Starting down the escalator from Marine 1 back to walking street. Midway down you can see Jenny Star bar to the left. A fun late night bar with some freelancer Ladyboys, a farang dance crowd and just a crazy mixed late night vibe. So as I am going down the escalator I notice one of the tall LBs dancing on the stage in this crazy dress. I poke my head over the rail to get a closer look and next thing u know I am getting a near face full of LB without her underwear on showing me her non god given treasure between her legs. She was a post op LB and wanted everyone to know. I almost needed safety goggles to get out of this one unscathed. Great fun. So of course after this I had to stop in to check out the madness.

The music was great and there was a pretty rowdy LB crowd getting down along with some leftover service(COBRA) boys, some cool guys from London and just a bunch of drunk people shaking tail. Okay. Time to settle in and have a few. Remember I am just a commentator so don’t freak out. As anyone who has spent some time around LBs you should know that they are rather bold, love to show off(get naked) and are not too shy around their prey. So take the LB I mentioned before and one of her friends, combine it with 2 drunk farangs and a rather secluded couch in the back of Jenny Star bar and u got yourself a mini Lolitas. I did not look too closely to check but from all appearances there were some free BJs being administered and some shit eating grins all the way around. Welcome to Thailand. Welcome to another nutty night in Pattaya. All I can remember is the lady’s from Casino that I was dancing with joking that the LBs are such tough competition. I guess it keeps everyone on their toes.

Check bin. Over to Performance Bar to listen to my DJ friend and olge the freelancer activity. There are always a few in Performance Bar late at night due to how late they stay open, the reasonable drink prices and the great DJ. Take note that if you are looking to diversify - I sometimes find some farang ladies looking to have a good time when I stop by Performance late at night. Not freelancers but just girls on holiday who heard the good tunes and saw the crowd. Nice. Happy Hunting.

okay. sober up. back to reality.